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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training the Parents
NoMoreJuice! 10:11 PM 02-08-2014
I am so overwhelmed, and I would LOVE to hear a few suggestions about how to handle this crazy DCM! I have potty trained a dozen kids, but it's always the parents that need more training than the children!

Ok, here's the backstory: I have had a little girl for four months now, she is now exactly 2.5 years old. DCG is a doll, very sweet and quiet and I just love her, but she has a crazy, overbearing mom. I'll spare you all the details of how crazy she is, but let's just say one day, after DCG had been here a month, she called in sick to work just to spend the entire day at my daycare watching how I interacted with the kids and telling me how jealous she was that I got to play with kids all day and call that a job.

Anyway, DCM decided that her daughter was ready to potty train because she asked to go to the potty one day. Great! I told her to go ahead and practice over the weekend and let me know how it went. The next Monday, she said she was perfect and went potty all the time in the potty! They gave her a sticker every time and it was just like magic! DCM told me to take her potty every 8-10 minutes and she would go most of the time. I CAN NOT take a child to the potty 50+ times in one day. That is ludicrous.

I told DCM that the point of potty training was really to have the child decide what it felt like to NEED to go potty, and then decide to do it. I have successfully used the 3 day potty training method twice in the past, and I gave her a copy of the ebook. She was so excited about it, and said they would attempt it that weekend. So she took Friday off and I told her to text me a few times throughout the day to let me know how it went.

One of the first rules of the 3 day method is to THROW AWAY all diapers and pullups, so you can't use them as a crutch and go back to them. Well, she texted me at 2 pm Friday(6 hours into the method) to say that it was going really well, but she got a migraine and so she just put diapers back on the girl. One step forward, TWO steps back. This was two weeks ago. On Monday, the DCD dropped off and complained that the DCM didn't even read the book, and that it would have been different if he hadn't had to work that weekend. When Grandma picked the DCG up that day, she also mentioned that the DCM is a big fat quitter(her words!!). Ever since then, the DCG has not wanted to go potty.

DCM and I had a conference about it yesterday, and she swears that DCG asks to go to the potty all the time at home and she thinks that the girl is too distracted at my house to remember to ask. I ask DCG often if she feels the need to potty, and remind her that she can run in and use the Minnie Mouse potty any time she'd like. Any time I ask her if her pullup is still dry, she says yes, but it isn't. I'll put her on the potty several times a day, but she's always wet. She also gets very sad and depressed when she finds out she's wet.

Why the discrepancy between what DCM is telling me is going on at home, and what happens here? My gut says the DCG is just not ready, but I also hate quitting. What to do with this crazy mom?? I'm usually always on the same page as the parents, but this mom drives me nuts (on MANY different topics).

One more thing: at our conference yesterday, she told me how she wants me to handle it: "Just tell her that pullups are like baby diapers, and if she doesn't want to be a baby, she has to use the toilet!" I was shocked, and I would never say that to a child. I want to build them up, not tear them down.
CraftyMom 11:00 PM 02-08-2014
Do you have a potty training policy in your handbook? Stick to that.

For example, mine says that parents have to start the process at home. If I agree that the child is ready I will continue here. If I do not feel the child is ready I would tell the parents we should wait a bit longer until the child shows more readiness.

Mom might be rushing it, which can have the opposite effect. Home is a very different place than daycare and the child needs to show readiness at daycare as well as at home.

If the child is in fact ready it can be done over a weekend or 3 days, like you said. I've done it several times, but they have to be ready!
Blackcat31 09:35 AM 02-09-2014
Potty training is a parental responsibility.

I will assist and support but parents MUST do the bulk of the work.

I would never bring a child to the toilet every so many minutes. That is NOT trained.

Once a child has managed to be dry for a full 2 weeks, I will allow them to wear underwear at daycare.

Here is a great potty training policy to share with your parents.

FWIW~ I think you let DCM have waaay too much power over YOUR business by allowing her to spend an entire day with you observing.

I don't know many providers who would have allowed that.

My other daycare parents would NOT have been okay with that. I don't think licensing here would have supported that either.
Josiegirl 09:56 AM 02-09-2014
She stayed the whole day? WHY??? Yeh, that part alone wouldn't have worked for me. I also have the rule they need to start the process at home and if they can go accident free for a couple or so days, then I'll continue it here.

Sounds like dcm wants you to believe she's doing her part where what she really wants to happen is to have you do the bulk of training per her orders.
Tags:parental responsibility, potty training
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