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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>For Those of You Who Don't Potty Train....
knoxmomof2 03:32 PM 05-01-2019
For those that have the parents do the potty training weekend and then require 2 weeks dry in PullUps before they can graduate to undies... What if the child isn't actually potty trained when they come back from the potty training weekend with the parents? I'm considering starting this method myself, but I could see a parent claim it went well and then I've just got a kid in PullUps for eternity. Kwim?

My latest "potty trainer" is on a deadline because he got accepted into a private preschool for Fall but has to be potty trained. Mom and Grandma are convinced he's "holding out on them". He could care less..... He's a bit quirky so there's a chance there could be some issues, but he passed this big Preschool application process with flying colors so I don't know, but just looking for some feedback. I can see them sending him Monday and claiming he did things he didn't because they're on a deadline here.... How do you handle that? Have you had it happen?
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happymom 04:04 PM 05-01-2019
It's spring, so don't they still have 1.5 seasons until he starts this new preschool?

I am just curious because you mentioned that their deadline is here.
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boy_mom 04:16 PM 05-01-2019
Honestly, it doesn't matter to me what they say at home, it only matter what happens at daycare.

A potty training child would need to be able to let me know they need the bathroom and pretty much do it themselves once in the bathroom. I'm happy to assist while they are still perfecting their skills, but I wouldn't sit a child on the toilet and do the whole process for them.

Children also have to be dry in pull ups to be considered accident free, so regardless of their deadline, I would have my own 2 week policy that I follow. Any accidents resets the 2 week clock for when they can be diaper free at my home.

I also refuse to potty train a child who is not actively interested in learning. So regardless of what parents say, I would decide what happens at day care.

I guess that's all a really long way of saying do what you need to do during group care, regardless of what is happening with parents at home!
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Ariana 05:25 PM 05-01-2019
The parents supply the pullups so I use them for as long as the parent wants me to use them, its their bank account!

If I let them know every day that their kid pees in their pullup and they are telling me that at home he is using the toilet all the time then thats all I can do. I just let them know that he has to be dry for two weeks in a pullup before I make the switch. Like all of us, we know when a kid is not ready and has zero skills in toiletting.

The only exception to this is my current DCG. The parents have been potty training her since she was born so I started working on independent toileting with her for the past few months knowing that one day the parents would bring her in undies. Today was that day. She never asks to go but I put her in undies because I can easily send her to the toilet independently so it isn’t interfering with my day at all. For me the pullups are all about kids with zero toiletting skills where the parent brings them at specific intervals AND does everything for them. Those kids go in pullups here.
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storybookending 05:59 PM 05-01-2019
What the PP have said but I no longer allow pull ups. Diapers until they can pass the 2 week dry period only.
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lovemykidstoo 07:07 AM 05-02-2019
All of my kids that are toilet training wear pullups. So much easier to pull down and go to the bathroom with those vs diapers. If the goal is for the child to be independent and go to the bathroom on their own, are they going to be able to take the diaper off and put a diaper back on after going on the toilet? I dont' know why people dislike pullups so much.

Do people really have their kids trained in 2 days on a weekend? I can see starting the process, but 100%?

I agree, do what you do, don't base what you do on anything the parent says because most of the time it's padded information if you know what I mean. I have a 3 year old right now that is wearing underwear. She has told me she's had to go maybe twice. I just have certain times of the day that the kids go. Well, yesterday she sat in my chair and was messing with her pants. It wasn't until dad came that I realized she had an accident. She talks non-stop all day. Why would she not say hey I have to go ugh
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Jupadia 07:13 AM 05-02-2019
The only kid I worry about potty training is my own who will be 3.5 in July
He is also on a deadline cause he starts jr. Kindergarten in September.
Other peoples kids and there deadlines are not my concern. I've got two other kids (who will be 4 before school start) who have been potty trained but it happened at home not here. They were both dry for two weeks before allowing underwear.
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boy_mom 07:36 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Do people really have their kids trained in 2 days on a weekend? I can see starting the process, but 100%?
I feel like a child ready to potty train picks up the skill within a few days. It doesn't have to be perfect, hence the pull ups, but the concept should be completely understood by the child. I always encouraged kids as they learned the skill, assisting them as they mastered the process.

What I didnt indulge was the parents who potty trained for a very extended period of time, with the parent doing the reminding to go, placing them on the potty, sitting there for a half hour with books and then calling that potty training.

Nope! A child needs to be aware of what they are doing and actively engaged in it all, which can happen in a few days once they are ready to do it!
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Snowmom 07:37 AM 05-02-2019
I expect parents to do the majority of PT work.
But, I also expect ALL the signs of readiness to be present before we start at daycare.
That includes: willingness/interest to use the toilet, verbalizing the need to go, independently undressing and sitting down, wiping (I supervise until trained for around 1 month) as well as remaining dry for longer periods of time during the day with predictable bowel movements.

I have a handout I give when they first start asking or hinting at PT. I also send out a "next steps" PT letter when they are about to graduate to undies. I want them to know exactly what I expect and what happens if it's not successful at first (or regression).
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LostMyMarbles 07:53 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
All of my kids that are toilet training wear pullups. So much easier to pull down and go to the bathroom with those vs diapers. If the goal is for the child to be independent and go to the bathroom on their own, are they going to be able to take the diaper off and put a diaper back on after going on the toilet? I dont' know why people dislike pullups so much.

Do people really have their kids trained in 2 days on a weekend? I can see starting the process, but 100%?

I agree, do what you do, don't base what you do on anything the parent says because most of the time it's padded information if you know what I mean. I have a 3 year old right now that is wearing underwear. She has told me she's had to go maybe twice. I just have certain times of the day that the kids go. Well, yesterday she sat in my chair and was messing with her pants. It wasn't until dad came that I realized she had an accident. She talks non-stop all day. Why would she not say hey I have to go ugh
This is pretty much my thought process too. Except you were classing thing up by saying parents padded things up. I say parents flat out lie.

I had a boy, a larger in size boy, who had big stinky poops. He was 11.90 months. I got tired of changing that. So I started working with them here at daycare. Mom didnít work with them at home. He was completely potty trained for four months here before the mom even had an inkling to do anything at home. She was bragging all over Facebook about having potty trained him over the weekend. I made a comment about oh Iím so glad heís going at home now, heís been going in daycare for four months.

I got tired of worrying about what was going on at home also. I just focused on what goes on here. Unfortunately, sometimes I think the parents put too much pressure on us to do a job that we need to work together as a team. I feel itís a team effort to do the potty training. Or the learning, or the discipline.
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Baby Beluga 07:59 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by LostMyMarbles:
This is pretty much my thought process too. Except you were classing thing up by saying parents padded things up. I say parents flat out lie.

I had a boy, a larger in size boy, who had big stinky poops. He was 11.90 months. I got tired of changing that. So I started working with them here at daycare. Mom didnít work with them at home. He was completely potty trained for four months here before the mom even had an inkling to do anything at home. She was bragging all over Facebook about having potty trained him over the weekend. I made a comment about oh Iím so glad heís going at home now, heís been going in daycare for four months.

I got tired of worrying about what was going on at home also. I just focused on what goes on here. Unfortunately, sometimes I think the parents put too much pressure on us to do a job that we need to work together as a team. I feel itís a team effort to do the potty training. Or the learning, or the discipline.
It's probably too early...and I am under caffeinated, but he was how old?
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Baby Beluga 08:01 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
All of my kids that are toilet training wear pullups. So much easier to pull down and go to the bathroom with those vs diapers. If the goal is for the child to be independent and go to the bathroom on their own, are they going to be able to take the diaper off and put a diaper back on after going on the toilet? I dont' know why people dislike pullups so much.

Do people really have their kids trained in 2 days on a weekend? I can see starting the process, but 100%?

I agree, do what you do, don't base what you do on anything the parent says because most of the time it's padded information if you know what I mean. I have a 3 year old right now that is wearing underwear. She has told me she's had to go maybe twice. I just have certain times of the day that the kids go. Well, yesterday she sat in my chair and was messing with her pants. It wasn't until dad came that I realized she had an accident. She talks non-stop all day. Why would she not say hey I have to go ugh
I like pull-ups for this reason. I do think (IME) a lot of parents put their children in pull-ups too early and because of the absorbency of the pull-ups (or lack thereof) it leads to a lot of accidents which is why they get a bad rep.

I think pull-ups are a good mid-way point for a child who is close, but not quite there yet.
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LostMyMarbles 10:23 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
It's probably too early...and I am under caffeinated, but he was how old?
Lol sorry .. he was a month shy of 3.
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lovemykidstoo 11:40 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
I expect parents to do the majority of PT work.
But, I also expect ALL the signs of readiness to be present before we start at daycare.
That includes: willingness/interest to use the toilet, verbalizing the need to go, independently undressing and sitting down, wiping (I supervise until trained for around 1 month) as well as remaining dry for longer periods of time during the day with predictable bowel movements.

I have a handout I give when they first start asking or hinting at PT. I also send out a "next steps" PT letter when they are about to graduate to undies. I want them to know exactly what I expect and what happens if it's not successful at first (or regression).
The verbalizing is what gets me every single time. I have so many parents that want to start potty training at various ages. The thing is, most of the kids are not verbal about it. So how is that potty training if I'm putting them on the toilet at certain times of the day instead of them letting me know they have to go. Isnt' that called the elimination method or something? My one dcm has a 22 month old boy. She came yesterday all excited because he's been saying poop after he goes poo in his diaper. Great! I've heard him say poo, bye, coat, momma, dadda. That's it. I'm thinking, well on your 1 week vacation, you see how that goes when he tells you he has to go.

Same one Monday as she came in, he stands there and puts his feet up in the air one by one as she takes off his shoes. I told her he's been taking his shoes off himself when we come in from outside play. She says oh yea we've been working on that with him. Reminded me of another thread about that subject how the parent takes sole responsibility or acknowledgement of something you know they're not working with them on. lol I had to laugh because never has he taken his own shoes off with her in the morning. lol
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lovemykidstoo 11:42 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
I like pull-ups for this reason. I do think (IME) a lot of parents put their children in pull-ups too early and because of the absorbency of the pull-ups (or lack thereof) it leads to a lot of accidents which is why they get a bad rep.

I think pull-ups are a good mid-way point for a child who is close, but not quite there yet.
I couldn't agree more! Not to mention that putting pullups on a child that is not potty training is a pain as you have to take the pants all the way off to change. You don't have to do that if they're going on the toilet because they're not wet.
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lovemykidstoo 11:47 AM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by boy_mom:
I feel like a child ready to potty train picks up the skill within a few days. It doesn't have to be perfect, hence the pull ups, but the concept should be completely understood by the child. I always encouraged kids as they learned the skill, assisting them as they mastered the process.

What I didnt indulge was the parents who potty trained for a very extended period of time, with the parent doing the reminding to go, placing them on the potty, sitting there for a half hour with books and then calling that potty training.

Nope! A child needs to be aware of what they are doing and actively engaged in it all, which can happen in a few days once they are ready to do it!
That is true. Our son was a week over being 3 years old and he was 100% done in 1 week. No accidents ever. Our daughter on the other hand. Good lord. Took forever!

I have a dcg right now that mom and dad bought her a watch that is in the shape of a toilet and it goes off with music every hour. Yea thanks momma. That thing went up on the counter! They live about 10 minutes away. She came in this morning and it went off. She says do you have to go potty? Ok, if she went before leaving home, she doesn't need to go now in the middle of drop offs. I said I will take her in a bit with the other dcg that is potty training.
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storybookending 12:50 PM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I couldn't agree more! Not to mention that putting pullups on a child that is not potty training is a pain as you have to take the pants all the way off to change. You don't have to do that if they're going on the toilet because they're not wet.
THIS is the reason I donít do pull ups here. I have a niece that turned two in December and she has been in pull ups since then and has gone on the potty exactly zero times. Like why? My cousins child as well but she is 3 months older and actually does use the potty, but only when you put her on it. I had them both for a day in February and I just did not understand the pull up reasoning AT ALL.
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Firefly 12:59 PM 05-02-2019
I think pull ups are great for kids that are potty training but I have had kids sent here in pull ups who havenít even begun potty training and I donít understand why. Maybe the parent thinks their child is somehow advanced if they wear pull ups?
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lovemykidstoo 01:31 PM 05-02-2019
Originally Posted by storybookending:
THIS is the reason I donít do pull ups here. I have a niece that turned two in December and she has been in pull ups since then and has gone on the potty exactly zero times. Like why? My cousins child as well but she is 3 months older and actually does use the potty, but only when you put her on it. I had them both for a day in February and I just did not understand the pull up reasoning AT ALL.
That's the thing. If they're not going through the potty training process, there is zero reason for them to be in pullups. I don't get why parents do it. Aren't they more expensive? While they are training, they're much easier imo than diapers.

I have 2 girls training right now. One has advanced to underwear (2 weeks dry, no accidents) the other is still in a pullup but doing well.
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knoxmomof2 01:35 PM 05-02-2019
Thanks for all the input. If he comes Monday and somehow a switch has flipped... Great! But I'm a bit skeptical considering his complete lack of interest here. There's no way this kid is walking in on Monday telling me he needs to potty. We'll see....

Grandma told Mom that she was potty trained by 1.5......of course, Grandma also revealed that it happened through her spanking her. Mom said she didn't agree with that, but here we are months later with Grandma helping with a potty training weekend..... This should be interesting...
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