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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Surcharges You WISH You Could Add
Pestle 05:58 AM 12-07-2017
It's fun to dream, right?
First poop of the day is free. Second poop is $2. Third poop is $4. Fourth poop and any thereafter are $10 per poop. If I have to change it, I might as well turn it into gold.
$2 surcharge for any poop that requires more than two wipes.
$7 daily surcharge for children whose frequent and elongated joyful shrieks rattle the eardrums, send the cats running, and make the other kids freeze in place and moan nervously.
$2 surcharge per hour for tiny stuntmen. Alternately, send in a second caregiver to hover with their hands three inches away from the child in a catching position all day long. I'm not gonna cramp your style, baby, but I wish you'd stop trying to kill yourself.
$100,000 surcharge for trying to talk me into lowering my rate for you, who just arrived 27 minutes late for pick up.
First poop of the day is free. Second poop is $2. Third poop is $4. Fourth poop and any thereafter are $10 per poop. If I have to change it, I might as well turn it into gold.
$2 surcharge for any poop that requires more than two wipes.
$7 daily surcharge for children whose frequent and elongated joyful shrieks rattle the eardrums, send the cats running, and make the other kids freeze in place and moan nervously.
$2 surcharge per hour for tiny stuntmen. Alternately, send in a second caregiver to hover with their hands three inches away from the child in a catching position all day long. I'm not gonna cramp your style, baby, but I wish you'd stop trying to kill yourself.
$100,000 surcharge for trying to talk me into lowering my rate for you, who just arrived 27 minutes late for pick up.
MomBoss 06:18 AM 12-07-2017
Charge for cleaning accidents, vomit, diaper leakage...
Charge for every time a child sneezes or drools on you (I get so grossed out lol)
Charge for every time a child sneezes or drools on you (I get so grossed out lol)
midaycare 06:21 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for super snotty noses. That just grosses me out sooooo much. Daily purchase while potty training. Actually, I might really do that one!
Pestle 06:46 AM 12-07-2017
Oh, yeah, for sure--but instead of money, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels at pick up for every instance of bodily fluids that got onto MY body! 
Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
LysesKids 06:59 AM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Oh, yeah, for sure--but instead of money, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels at pick up for every instance of bodily fluids that got onto MY body!
Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
I totally get that one lol... I take of nothing but babiesOh, yeah, for sure--but instead of money, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels at pick up for every instance of bodily fluids that got onto MY body!
Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
daycarediva 10:10 AM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd love to charge for every text "checking in" on little Snowflake.
I have one family (two parents) that text a half dozen times each day (EACH PARENT) asking how Snowflake is....
Nevermind that Snowflake has been attending full time/daily for over a year and a half now.
It takes every ounce of restraint to not text back "Snowflake who?" or "Oh, Snowflake is here today?" but I don't.......
THIS is why I love you! (among other things!) I'd love to charge for every text "checking in" on little Snowflake.
I have one family (two parents) that text a half dozen times each day (EACH PARENT) asking how Snowflake is....
Nevermind that Snowflake has been attending full time/daily for over a year and a half now.
It takes every ounce of restraint to not text back "Snowflake who?" or "Oh, Snowflake is here today?" but I don't.......
Can you imagine?
I DO NOT text parents anymore. Everything goes through the app. I do NOT respond until nap time unless it's an emergency. Ain't nobody got time for dat.
Jupadia 06:47 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself. No poop at arrival, just waited till he got here to do it.
Surcharge
For parent that arrives with 2 kids during said incendent while provider trying to clean up 2.5 year old.
Fun start to a day.
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself. No poop at arrival, just waited till he got here to do it.
Surcharge
For parent that arrives with 2 kids during said incendent while provider trying to clean up 2.5 year old.
Fun start to a day.
Pestle 07:10 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by Jupadia:
Surcharge
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself.
Surcharge
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself.
Maybe we need a billing chart that cross-references "physically taxing," "emotionally taxing," "unsanitary," and "wastes time."
MomBoss 06:57 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Surcharge for super snotty noses. That just grosses me out sooooo much. Daily purchase while potty training. Actually, I might really do that one!
Yes! Charge for every time you have to wipe a nose and a charge if your child gets me sick lolSurcharge for super snotty noses. That just grosses me out sooooo much. Daily purchase while potty training. Actually, I might really do that one!
Baby Beluga 07:18 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for each reminder of a rule that is clearly stated in your handbook. Stated multiple times. That you signed. And initialed. And have a copy of.
I'd have more money than Trump
I'd have more money than Trump
midaycare 07:27 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for not dropping off in a clean diaper. I have one girl who is soaking wet every day. I mean....gross.
Josiegirl 02:43 AM 12-09-2017
Wear and tear on my home-endless costs
My constant mental state of chaos and confusion and noise disturbance-20 bucks every hour
My constant mental state of chaos and confusion and noise disturbance-20 bucks every hour