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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Help With 5mo.
caitlin 05:33 AM 11-05-2010
I have a 5 month old boy in my care who cries all day long unless he is held. He rarely sleeps, but he eats well and just cries all day. I've tried letting him cry it out, I've tried changing scenery, I've tried upping the amount he was eating in case it was hunger, I've tried making him warmer, making him cooler, swaddling...nothing works.
I don't know what to do, he will play in an excersaucer or on the floor for 5 minute stretches but even that is rare, and normally someone needs to be sitting with him and talking to him for him to even do this.
I have older kids, and a younger to care to as well and they aren't getting a fair amount of attention. I've tried a baby carrier be he only likes it for short periods of time and I am honestly not that fond of it myself.
I have talked to mom and dad and they say they don't have this problem at home...but they carry him all the time.

I need help guys...any ideas?
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Lilbutterflie 06:11 AM 11-05-2010
I initially was thinking he was crying b/c he always wants to be held, which is probably part of it... but why is he not sleeping well? Any overly-tired baby is going to cry. Where does he sleep when he's in daycare? Where does he sleep at home and how do his parents put him to sleep at night? Maybe you could try talking to parents about his sleeping habits and try getting him to sleep longer in daycare. If that doesn't work, I'd have a discussion with dcp's about trying to hold him less and let him start playing independently for short periods of time at home. For one, it's necessary for his development; and for two, it's necessary to get him to be happy at daycare. You both have the same goal,you want him to be happy in daycare! And right now he definitely is NOT!!
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caitlin 06:35 AM 11-05-2010
When he is with me he sleeps in a swing. I have tried a crib and pack and play and it just doesn't work, not that the swing works well either. He'll sleep maybe 20 minutes, but it is not a sound sleep. He'll wake up, wimper or cry if he doesn't see me right away, and then I have to sit in front of the swing to get him to go back to sleep.
At home he sleeps in a crib at night and naps in the crib sometimes, and sometimes in a swing. At home he is not a sound sleeper either, he wakes often through the night and naps the same as he does at daycare.

I don't think it is too noisey at daycare because I have been able to get him to sleep when the other kids nap, or when they are engaged in something quiet. He usually takes three of the 20 minute naps a day.

He once took a two hour nap for me, and I was expecting him to wake up happy and ready to play but he was still the same. I am not even sure why he napped that long that day, I was checking on him every five minutes to make sure he was still breathing.
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SandeeAR 06:37 AM 11-05-2010
Tell the parents if they want you to continue care, they are going the have to stop carrying him all the time. You don't have time to take care of the other kids and carry him all the time. A five month old should be having a LOT of floor time to learn, rolling, scooting, pushing up, and pulling knees ups to crawl soon. They can't learn that in Mom and Dad's arms.
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booroo 06:45 AM 11-05-2010
Well hes old enough to learn to sleep... SO... I go back to the pack n play in a dark room.... and whe he start whimpper and see if he can put hisself back to sleep... at this age they should still be sleeping 2 to 3 hours in morning and afternoon.. and they should be able to sleep 6 to 8 hours through the night.... have you tried gas drops,,, maybe hes gassy.....
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momma2girls 06:50 AM 11-05-2010
Originally Posted by caitlin:
I have a 5 month old boy in my care who cries all day long unless he is held. He rarely sleeps, but he eats well and just cries all day. I've tried letting him cry it out, I've tried changing scenery, I've tried upping the amount he was eating in case it was hunger, I've tried making him warmer, making him cooler, swaddling...nothing works.
I don't know what to do, he will play in an excersaucer or on the floor for 5 minute stretches but even that is rare, and normally someone needs to be sitting with him and talking to him for him to even do this.
I have older kids, and a younger to care to as well and they aren't getting a fair amount of attention. I've tried a baby carrier be he only likes it for short periods of time and I am honestly not that fond of it myself.
I have talked to mom and dad and they say they don't have this problem at home...but they carry him all the time.

I need help guys...any ideas?
This is totally the way my 5 month old is. The parents baby him all the time on everything!! They can be up almost the entire night with him- if he rolls onto his stomach, he screams bloody murder now, if he looses his paci, same thing. I let him cry it out here, and he is so used to it here. ONce he goes home it is a different story!!
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BentleysBands 07:46 AM 11-05-2010
must be related to my 4month old screamer


imo its being spoiled. she knows if she cries i will pickup ....some do not agree and thats fine but i know what i deal with and she her reactions.

i'm jsut praying it gets better soon
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katie 08:10 AM 11-05-2010
Yes. Dcb is almost 6 mos. I've had him since he was 3 mo. At home he is held all night and weekend. I have 4 of my own, including my 9 mo old. I homeschool. There is NO way I can hold him all day. He has learned over time that here it's not going to happen. He came napping in the swing for 20 minutes. I put him in the pack n play. But I have air purifier machines or a fan in the room to drown out the noise the other kids are making and it help a lot. I can hear him but he can't hear all the noise in the house. Maybe some type of white noise like a fan would help.
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caitlin 09:06 AM 11-05-2010
I did do gas drops and they used to help, but after switching formula and bottles he is no longer gassy and the drops don't help.

The parents are fans of the "you can't spoil a baby under 6 months" idea, which I think is a bunch of bologna. I've talked to them, said how would you feel if he was the older child not getting enough attention? When I tried to let him cry it out I informed them and they they would try it at home too when I started it. We did it for 10 days, and still nothing. I usually see results from that in 2-3 days. Even if the parents fibbed and didn't follow through 100% when he was at home, I still would have expected to see results in just a few days. I know Dad is tired of it, and Mom does most of the babying.

He just crys and screams until his little face is blood red, and he ends up making himself sick. Right now he is in a bouncer by my feet and he is okay with this as long as I am bouncing him. But <b>I</b> have to bounce him. The same on the swing, for him to fall asleep, I have to swing him. He won't fall asleep if the motor is swinging him.

He can't keep himself occupied at all, if I hand him a rattle he'll hold it but he won't shake it or bring it to his mouth or anything.

I think I'll try moving the back and play to somewhere else in the house and get some white noise going and see if it helps. *fingers crossed*
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SimpleMom 12:00 PM 11-05-2010
One of my daycare kids was like this as a baby. It was soooo hard, but it doesn't last long in the big picture (if that helps). SHe's a doll and four years old! Can't even remember the screaming anymore. I do know it was a challenge. I held her lots--even though she cried in my arms. I've heard that even if you can't soothe a baby, the fact that they see you trying really helps.
Hang in there. Sounds like you're doing everything right. You could ask the parent's if they'd be alright with trying to let the baby cry a little in the crib and see if it works, but I wouldn't let them cry too long.
I'm more of a cuddler with the babies, but I know that people are different on it and that's ok, too
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sahm1225 06:56 PM 11-06-2010
Must be related to my 5 mos old screamer too. But I do have good news, this week it suddenly stopped. Seriously, I was going over in my head the termination letter, I just couldn't do it anymore and as I was changing the diaper, she just suddenly got happy.

I think her getting her first 2 teeth and having a cold at the same time made the last month unbearable for her.

You might have to have a talk with the parents about how you are not equipped to give her the one on one attention that she needs

Good luck
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KEG123 05:44 PM 11-09-2010
I guess I am the odd man out in that I'd try to hold him as much as possible. My guess is he is still unaccustomed to being away from mom and dad. That, or he may just have higher needs than other babies. After all, no two babies are the same. Do you have a baby carrier the parents would feel comfortable with you wearing? That way you can still have your hands free but cater to the needs of the younger child.
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caitlin 06:30 PM 11-10-2010
Originally Posted by KEG123:
I guess I am the odd man out in that I'd try to hold him as much as possible. My guess is he is still unaccustomed to being away from mom and dad. That, or he may just have higher needs than other babies. After all, no two babies are the same. Do you have a baby carrier the parents would feel comfortable with you wearing? That way you can still have your hands free but cater to the needs of the younger child.
I try to hold him as much as I can, but with the other kids it just isn't possible to hold him as much as he wants to be held. I'm really beginning to worry because when he is placed on his tummy he isn't lifting his head or shoulders, and isn't anywhere near rolling over.

As for the carriers, I can't find anything I like. I've tried wraps, the ergo, and several other different styles and just can't get comfy.
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Tags:5 month old, crying
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