I received this e-mail yesterday;

"Hello! I need immediate care for my son. You look to be the perfect match! He needs structure and where he is currently at there is ZERO. He's a great kid but has challenges with transitions if there is no structure. I am a single mom and work full time so the sooner the better to start! Thank you for considering us. I work 10-4 and some days 10-12, but pay $140 a week."

There are some red flags before speaking with her. I have a flat daily fee, not hourly. The 10-12 are working hours, so it would mean she'd be picking up close to nap time (which is a no for me). I definitely need more information around these 'challenges'. I obviously need his age. I also charge more than she's willing to pay, which might surprise her.

How should I inquire about the 'challenges'? I've never had someone come out and say there are challenges. It's refreshingly honest as most say they're kids "NEVER act that way for them, hmmmm". BUT, it could also mean he's a monster, LOL!

How would you inquire about these 'challenges'?

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I first would be straight forward about pay and no pick ups at naptime (if that's your policy). These things may deter her from coming in the first place... but then I would want to interview with the child and see how he behaves. If everything looks like it'll work, I'd start with a trial period. (I do 2 weeks)

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I read that as work 10am to 12 mind night?

I would call her and ask about her current daycare and go from there

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I wouldn't even get into the challenges yet. I would reply regarding your daily fee and the minimum hours you allow (if you do that). I don't offer half or short days, so my minimum is really about 9:30am to 3:30pm so that it doesn't interfere with our outside time or our naps, etc. I would state your daily fees for the hours you offer as well and give info strictly on that for right now. And I wonder if that isn't 10am to midnight as well. Working for just 2 hours seems odd to me but maybe not for a part time job. I would also tell her to call if she is interested in setting up an interview. I know everyone loves to just email now, but I want to talk to a live person before I set up an interview!

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I would start off here as well. If you charge more than what she's willing or able to pay and/or if she needs hours that you don't provide care for then you should address this first. If it won't work for you or her then the challenges won't be an issue anyway since you won't be able to sign her up.

Once you address those issues first if you come to an understanding then you can ask about the challenges. I would ask for specifics and examples and I personally would like to see the child in action. I want to see the child's behavior first hand.

I once had a mom interview and say her child had challenges but overall was a great kid. I invited her to a 45 minute "play date" and as it turns out her great child's challenges were that he hit, kicked and shoved. The meeting lasted all of 15 minutes in which by that time all of the DCK's had been accosted by the child.

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He needs structure and where he is currently at there is ZERO. He's a great kid but has challenges with transitions if there is no structure. I am a single mom and work full time so the sooner the better to start!

I read the above as: My son is an out-of-control brat, and I don't know how to discipline. He was kicked out of his last daycare for his behavior and my inability or unwillingness to address his cute "challenges", so we need to start tomorrow!

I could be wrong, but this does not look like what I would be interested in dealing with. I could be wrong, but this looks like a bad deal to me. That said, my current favorite daycare kid was labeled a "challenge" by his last daycare (naughtiest kid she had ever seen, she said). He has never been a problem here. He has gotten into trouble TWICE in the year he has been with me, and both times were minor. He is the sweetest, most eager to please child I have ever encountered, and gets along with everyone. At his last daycare (illegal-14 kids with 3 more coming, according to his mom when I interviewed), he was constantly getting beat up by the other kids. He's as pleasant as can be here. Maybe you need to find out more about the current situation, but usually "challenge" means, "brat", in my experience.

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I am already pretty full and would have to piece together a plan to accept him, so I just told her the hours weren't what I could handle. I also charge one flat daily fee that would put her over budget it seems and quoted her the price. I lighten up in the summer, and let her know I might be able to help then, but she needs someone next week.

She said he's 4.5 but adjusted age is much lower as he was left alone in a room much of his first year She took him in as a foster parent, and the parent decided to give up their rights after a year so she's adopted him. She does not have a set schedule at her job as a personal assistant.

I feel bad. I wish I knew someone awesome to refer her too.

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First thing I thought of was is she planning to give a two weeks notice where he is or start with you right away? If she isn't giving notice that would be a red flag for me (unless she's paying the 2 weeks and not attending)

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It almost sounds like she is under the impression that you are a nanny??

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I get e-mail requests like this all the time . Each one just a little different , like the child's name or age . But almost exactly the same .

I am weary that they are spam or a virus as they only want an e-mail (or link) reply .

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I have also gotten some really weird emails that I assume are spam. And most of them say they need care asap. Some have said they want to pay me a huge amount for 3 weeks of care, I don't even respond since it's so far fetched

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