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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Special Needs Child: Cerebral Palsy? Help?
pootmcgoot 07:59 AM 07-27-2012
I had an interview yesterday and I had no idea the mans sons was special needs. He didn't mention it in our emails or in our phone conversation confirming the interview. I have no experiences with children with severe mental retardation or with children with cerebral palsy.
I set the interview up before I decided to not take anymore kids this month. I didn't want to flake so we had the interview. As he leaves, he assumes the kid is going to attend. I have no backbone so that's the way the interview went.
The man was very nice and his child (9 years old, roughly 50lbs) isn't walking or talking and is on a feeding tube, still in diapers...just to give you an idea of duties needed.
I am uncomfortable providing care (even though temporary) for this child. I am out of my comfort zone and frankly, I'm scared of being sued if I mess something up.
He needs care 9-530 for this next week until school starts and wants to pay 87.50$ and then for the month after that from 3:30-5:30 for after school (120$ for the month)
Thing is, he's going out of state (hes a soldier) and his girlfriend (whos a soldier also) is taking care of his kids. He's in a really rough spot for child care. I feel so bad for him and this is where the guilt creeps in...
We really need the money but I feel so uncomfortable about this. I was also REAAAALLLY looking forward to having the month off of august off (until the 20th) but if I take him I won't have any time off with my daughter even though it's only 2 hours a day. I thought about texting him today and telling him that I am so sorry but I can't take his child. He's out of my comfort zone. But I don't want to hurt his feelings!
Help?!
I set the interview up before I decided to not take anymore kids this month. I didn't want to flake so we had the interview. As he leaves, he assumes the kid is going to attend. I have no backbone so that's the way the interview went.
The man was very nice and his child (9 years old, roughly 50lbs) isn't walking or talking and is on a feeding tube, still in diapers...just to give you an idea of duties needed.
I am uncomfortable providing care (even though temporary) for this child. I am out of my comfort zone and frankly, I'm scared of being sued if I mess something up.
He needs care 9-530 for this next week until school starts and wants to pay 87.50$ and then for the month after that from 3:30-5:30 for after school (120$ for the month)
Thing is, he's going out of state (hes a soldier) and his girlfriend (whos a soldier also) is taking care of his kids. He's in a really rough spot for child care. I feel so bad for him and this is where the guilt creeps in...
We really need the money but I feel so uncomfortable about this. I was also REAAAALLLY looking forward to having the month off of august off (until the 20th) but if I take him I won't have any time off with my daughter even though it's only 2 hours a day. I thought about texting him today and telling him that I am so sorry but I can't take his child. He's out of my comfort zone. But I don't want to hurt his feelings!
Help?!
cheerfuldom 08:09 AM 07-27-2012
Originally Posted by pootmcgoot:
I had an interview yesterday and I had no idea the mans sons was special needs. He didn't mention it in our emails or in our phone conversation confirming the interview. I have no experiences with children with severe mental retardation or with children with cerebral palsy.
I set the interview up before I decided to not take anymore kids this month. I didn't want to flake so we had the interview. As he leaves, he assumes the kid is going to attend. I have no backbone so that's the way the interview went.
The man was very nice and his child (9 years old, roughly 50lbs) isn't walking or talking and is on a feeding tube, still in diapers...just to give you an idea of duties needed.
I am uncomfortable providing care (even though temporary) for this child. I am out of my comfort zone and frankly, I'm scared of being sued if I mess something up.
He needs care 9-530 for this next week until school starts and wants to pay 87.50$ and then for the month after that from 3:30-5:30 for after school (120$ for the month)
Thing is, he's going out of state (hes a soldier) and his girlfriend (whos a soldier also) is taking care of his kids. He's in a really rough spot for child care. I feel so bad for him and this is where the guilt creeps in...
We really need the money but I feel so uncomfortable about this. I was also REAAAALLLY looking forward to having the month off of august off (until the 20th) but if I take him I won't have any time off with my daughter even though it's only 2 hours a day. I thought about texting him today and telling him that I am so sorry but I can't take his child. He's out of my comfort zone. But I don't want to hurt his feelings!
Help?!
Please dont do this job. You are putting this child in danger if you are not trained to handle a feeding tube, carrying and manuevering a child of this size, caring for possible emergency situations that might come up. This isnt the same thing as a large infant that needs their diaper changed.....this child is likely on medications and a variety of physical needs that you know nothing about. I had an interview yesterday and I had no idea the mans sons was special needs. He didn't mention it in our emails or in our phone conversation confirming the interview. I have no experiences with children with severe mental retardation or with children with cerebral palsy.
I set the interview up before I decided to not take anymore kids this month. I didn't want to flake so we had the interview. As he leaves, he assumes the kid is going to attend. I have no backbone so that's the way the interview went.
The man was very nice and his child (9 years old, roughly 50lbs) isn't walking or talking and is on a feeding tube, still in diapers...just to give you an idea of duties needed.
I am uncomfortable providing care (even though temporary) for this child. I am out of my comfort zone and frankly, I'm scared of being sued if I mess something up.
He needs care 9-530 for this next week until school starts and wants to pay 87.50$ and then for the month after that from 3:30-5:30 for after school (120$ for the month)
Thing is, he's going out of state (hes a soldier) and his girlfriend (whos a soldier also) is taking care of his kids. He's in a really rough spot for child care. I feel so bad for him and this is where the guilt creeps in...
We really need the money but I feel so uncomfortable about this. I was also REAAAALLLY looking forward to having the month off of august off (until the 20th) but if I take him I won't have any time off with my daughter even though it's only 2 hours a day. I thought about texting him today and telling him that I am so sorry but I can't take his child. He's out of my comfort zone. But I don't want to hurt his feelings!
Help?!
Its not about money. You should not take a job knowing full well that you are not trained or equipped to handle a child with these needs. The dad should have been upfront before the interview about the care involved for this child. This is his problem to solve, not yours.
pootmcgoot 08:13 AM 07-27-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Please dont do this job. You are putting this child in danger if you are not trained to handle a feeding tube, carrying and manuevering a child of this size, caring for possible emergency situations that might come up. This isnt the same thing as a large infant that needs their diaper changed.....this child is likely on medications and a variety of physical needs that you know nothing about.
Its not about money. You should not take a job knowing full well that you are not trained or equipped to handle a child with these needs. The dad should have been upfront before the interview about the care involved for this child. This is his problem to solve, not yours.
THANK YOU! That is exactly how I feel. I just don't feel comfortable and to me, the paranoia and worry about messing something up trumps the measly 90$.Please dont do this job. You are putting this child in danger if you are not trained to handle a feeding tube, carrying and manuevering a child of this size, caring for possible emergency situations that might come up. This isnt the same thing as a large infant that needs their diaper changed.....this child is likely on medications and a variety of physical needs that you know nothing about.
Its not about money. You should not take a job knowing full well that you are not trained or equipped to handle a child with these needs. The dad should have been upfront before the interview about the care involved for this child. This is his problem to solve, not yours.
pootmcgoot 08:17 AM 07-27-2012
I texted him just now:
"I am so sorry but I won't be able to provide care for your child. I am way under qualified and don't feel confident I will be able to care for him the way he needs. I hope you find someone to accommodate your family. Yall were really nice!"
I turned my phone off afterwards. I am such a wuss.
"I am so sorry but I won't be able to provide care for your child. I am way under qualified and don't feel confident I will be able to care for him the way he needs. I hope you find someone to accommodate your family. Yall were really nice!"
I turned my phone off afterwards. I am such a wuss.
pootmcgoot 08:20 AM 07-27-2012
And his response:
"Wow...ok, god bless."
*hides under rock*
"Wow...ok, god bless."
*hides under rock*
Blackcat31 08:48 AM 07-27-2012
Originally Posted by pootmcgoot:
I texted him just now:
"I am so sorry but I won't be able to provide care for your child. I am way under qualified and don't feel confident I will be able to care for him the way he needs. I hope you find someone to accommodate your family. Yall were really nice!"
I turned my phone off afterwards. I am such a wuss.
I texted him just now:
"I am so sorry but I won't be able to provide care for your child. I am way under qualified and don't feel confident I will be able to care for him the way he needs. I hope you find someone to accommodate your family. Yall were really nice!"
I turned my phone off afterwards. I am such a wuss.
Originally Posted by pootmcgoot:
And his response:
"Wow...ok, god bless."
*hides under rock*
It's okay. You did the right thing. And his response:
"Wow...ok, god bless."
*hides under rock*
Breezy 08:55 AM 07-27-2012
You 100% did the right thing. I can't believe he didnt tell you before the interview!!!
pootmcgoot 08:57 AM 07-27-2012
I was really upset he didn't tell me. I would of declined an interview. I just don't have the qualifications.
I turned my phone back on because I realized I'm being an idiot and he responded. Blah! I feel so horrible! But I am looking forward to the month off!
I turned my phone back on because I realized I'm being an idiot and he responded. Blah! I feel so horrible! But I am looking forward to the month off!
cheerfuldom 10:21 AM 07-27-2012
well you did the right thing.
my friend runs an after school program and had the same situation with a dad coming in with a special needs child and assuming he could put her in a mainstream program. she was in a wheelchair, wore diapers, could not walk or talk or hardly move. It was amazing to me that they really feel like they can just put their kid in with any program!
my friend runs an after school program and had the same situation with a dad coming in with a special needs child and assuming he could put her in a mainstream program. she was in a wheelchair, wore diapers, could not walk or talk or hardly move. It was amazing to me that they really feel like they can just put their kid in with any program!
countrymom 11:26 AM 07-27-2012
You did the right thing. I couldn't do it either. But the father is to blame, he should have told you, and if he needs so much care is he not recieving respite care. Shame on him for putting you in that potion.
pootmcgoot 12:50 PM 07-27-2012
From the way he explained it he has a nurse come in for 40 hours a week. I don't know why he wouldn't use her?
He also said to just leave him on the couch with the tv on and he'd be happy. Yeah....no. I'm so under qualified for his care. To me, there's such a risk and a big difference between a special needs child and a bottle fed infant (which he compared his son to). I really hope he finds QUALIFIED care and doesn't dump him on someone like me who just does plain old daycare. You'd think he'd be willing to pay more for that sort of care or offer higher rates. 90/weekly for 40 hours for the degree of care his son needs is almost an insult. And I'm unqualified!
He also said to just leave him on the couch with the tv on and he'd be happy. Yeah....no. I'm so under qualified for his care. To me, there's such a risk and a big difference between a special needs child and a bottle fed infant (which he compared his son to). I really hope he finds QUALIFIED care and doesn't dump him on someone like me who just does plain old daycare. You'd think he'd be willing to pay more for that sort of care or offer higher rates. 90/weekly for 40 hours for the degree of care his son needs is almost an insult. And I'm unqualified!
cheerfuldom 01:00 PM 07-27-2012
Originally Posted by pootmcgoot:
From the way he explained it he has a nurse come in for 40 hours a week. I don't know why he wouldn't use her?
He also said to just leave him on the couch with the tv on and he'd be happy. Yeah....no. I'm so under qualified for his care. To me, there's such a risk and a big difference between a special needs child and a bottle fed infant (which he compared his son to). I really hope he finds QUALIFIED care and doesn't dump him on someone like me who just does plain old daycare. You'd think he'd be willing to pay more for that sort of care or offer higher rates. 90/weekly for 40 hours for the degree of care his son needs is almost an insult. And I'm unqualified!
yeah that is not cool. you would have to stay in the living room with this child all day unless you were able to transport him outside or wherever, in order for the other kids to get the play time they needed. There is no way I could pickup up a child like this so that would be a deciding factor for me. I cant even carry some of the 2 year olds in care as they reach over 30lbs and I am pregnant.From the way he explained it he has a nurse come in for 40 hours a week. I don't know why he wouldn't use her?
He also said to just leave him on the couch with the tv on and he'd be happy. Yeah....no. I'm so under qualified for his care. To me, there's such a risk and a big difference between a special needs child and a bottle fed infant (which he compared his son to). I really hope he finds QUALIFIED care and doesn't dump him on someone like me who just does plain old daycare. You'd think he'd be willing to pay more for that sort of care or offer higher rates. 90/weekly for 40 hours for the degree of care his son needs is almost an insult. And I'm unqualified!
Country Kids 01:42 PM 07-27-2012
Would the branch of service he is in be able to help him find someone while he is away? It seems they would have some sort of service for people that have to be away from family.
EntropyControlSpecialist 03:35 PM 07-27-2012
He should be able to qualify for in home healthcare (either a nurse or an attendant).
Google: Your city, state + in home healthcare
There might be some results that you could e-mail the father to assist him. The government awards a certain amount of hours per week for children with CP and g-tubes (at no cost to the family). I used to be an attendant.
Google: Your city, state + in home healthcare
There might be some results that you could e-mail the father to assist him. The government awards a certain amount of hours per week for children with CP and g-tubes (at no cost to the family). I used to be an attendant.
Truly Scrumptious 09:08 AM 07-28-2012
You gave a good explanation as to why you couldn't offer care. He should have been upfront with you.
In the future, if you have a parent that needs this type of care and you explain that you can't accomodate...tell them to contact the Tennessee Child Care Resource and Referral...they will help him find the right care for his child.
In the future, if you have a parent that needs this type of care and you explain that you can't accomodate...tell them to contact the Tennessee Child Care Resource and Referral...they will help him find the right care for his child.
pootmcgoot 11:40 AM 07-28-2012
Originally Posted by Truly Scrumptious:
You gave a good explanation as to why you couldn't offer care. He should have been upfront with you.
In the future, if you have a parent that needs this type of care and you explain that you can't accomodate...tell them to contact the Tennessee Child Care Resource and Referral...they will help him find the right care for his child.
You gave a good explanation as to why you couldn't offer care. He should have been upfront with you.
In the future, if you have a parent that needs this type of care and you explain that you can't accomodate...tell them to contact the Tennessee Child Care Resource and Referral...they will help him find the right care for his child.
We live in ky. Dunno why my location says tn!
Truly Scrumptious 12:32 PM 07-28-2012
Originally Posted by pootmcgoot:
We live in ky. Dunno why my location says tn!
Oh....well...tell them to contact the Kentucky Child Care Resource and Referral.We live in ky. Dunno why my location says tn!
pootmcgoot 01:04 PM 07-28-2012
With the efmp in the army there are tons of resources apparently. After speaking to another care provider and then cyss and then a half dozen other people while trying to get him resources I was told he's probably given extra $ to find care providers from the army due his sons high needs. What gives! Sounds like he's finding cheap child care (me) who's unqualified and pocketing the rest of the allowance. Ughhhh!
A girl I know has a son who has autism and us given hundreds a month for his daycare because he's on the severe end of the spectrum is on a efmp (exceptional family member plan... An active duty dependent deemed special needs by the army) and unable to attend a regular daycare.
Woooow.
A girl I know has a son who has autism and us given hundreds a month for his daycare because he's on the severe end of the spectrum is on a efmp (exceptional family member plan... An active duty dependent deemed special needs by the army) and unable to attend a regular daycare.
Woooow.