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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCM Spying At Door?
Lefse&Kids 06:23 AM 07-03-2013
've had this 16m dcg yesterday. I'v had her for a while and she loves it here, immediately runs for our backyard. Is like one of my own.
Well, her mom was due back around 8pm and around that time, all he** decided to break loose in my house - meaning one kid had diarrhea, two were crying from getting tired and the dcg was trying to play in the toilet.
I changed the diapers, was working on calming down the tired ones when I heard dcg play in the toilet. I went in and scolded her with a very firm "No" - she started to cry (she was tired too). I told her that's icky, and its a no no.
It was then I saw someone at the door with it cracked open just standing there. Who was it? DCM.
I went there and said hello, but she seemed rattled for some reason. I can only assume it was from listening to my house and me scolding dcg.
Devils advocate on myself, my "No's" are very very firm. I only say it when I mean it and all the kids know it and listen the first time (mostly) when its said. That's not a word I play with or treat as a "maybe listen" word. When dcp's hear me use this word, I often see them look a little surprised so I don't know if no one else is stern like that or what.
I obviously don't want parents to think I am mean to their kids but won't treat "no" gently. I'm a little taken aback that she would just stand there and listen and not announce her presence. Does she think my behavior would change or something? A little PO'd that she did this after all this time.
I'm not sure how to explain my sternness to parents. How is everyone else on correction? Have you ever had a parent "spy" on you?
Well, her mom was due back around 8pm and around that time, all he** decided to break loose in my house - meaning one kid had diarrhea, two were crying from getting tired and the dcg was trying to play in the toilet.
I changed the diapers, was working on calming down the tired ones when I heard dcg play in the toilet. I went in and scolded her with a very firm "No" - she started to cry (she was tired too). I told her that's icky, and its a no no.
It was then I saw someone at the door with it cracked open just standing there. Who was it? DCM.
I went there and said hello, but she seemed rattled for some reason. I can only assume it was from listening to my house and me scolding dcg.
Devils advocate on myself, my "No's" are very very firm. I only say it when I mean it and all the kids know it and listen the first time (mostly) when its said. That's not a word I play with or treat as a "maybe listen" word. When dcp's hear me use this word, I often see them look a little surprised so I don't know if no one else is stern like that or what.
I obviously don't want parents to think I am mean to their kids but won't treat "no" gently. I'm a little taken aback that she would just stand there and listen and not announce her presence. Does she think my behavior would change or something? A little PO'd that she did this after all this time.
I'm not sure how to explain my sternness to parents. How is everyone else on correction? Have you ever had a parent "spy" on you?
SunshineMama 06:32 AM 07-03-2013
My handbook says, "for the safety of the children, the door shall remain locked at all times."
I would not want someone spying like that, but would probably have said something like, "wish you were a minute earlier, you could have caught your dd right before she decide to go splash around in the toilet."
I would not want someone spying like that, but would probably have said something like, "wish you were a minute earlier, you could have caught your dd right before she decide to go splash around in the toilet."
Blackcat31 06:36 AM 07-03-2013
Why are you feeling the need to explain? Did DCM say anything?
I guess I never worry about that kind of thing because it IS my job to keep their kids safe and out of harms way (playing in the toilet) and doing that within a group of kids that don't belong to me forces me to have to be firm now and then. I won't apologize for that and I certainly won't pretend to parents that I don't or won't ever scold their child.
It is what it is and you need to do what you need to do in order to keep all the kids happy and content as well as assert yourself as the authority figure. Lord knows too many parents are afraid to be that for their kids.
If you are concerned that this mom will be upset about it and possibly leave your care, then I would address it with her directly.
Say something like "JoAnn, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I saw you peering in the door when I was scolding Suzie for playing in the toilet and the expression on your face was kind of perplexing.....I was just wondering if you would like to discuss anything with me or if you have any concerns."
Let HER explain what she was feeling/thinking etc and then go from there.
A lot of times what we think a parent observed or what we think they think isn't always spot on....kwim?
Plus, you aren't really going to stop having to scold the kids so parents better get used to it as it IS going to happen in life. THEY might be afraid of their child, but I certainly am not...
I guess I never worry about that kind of thing because it IS my job to keep their kids safe and out of harms way (playing in the toilet) and doing that within a group of kids that don't belong to me forces me to have to be firm now and then. I won't apologize for that and I certainly won't pretend to parents that I don't or won't ever scold their child.
It is what it is and you need to do what you need to do in order to keep all the kids happy and content as well as assert yourself as the authority figure. Lord knows too many parents are afraid to be that for their kids.
If you are concerned that this mom will be upset about it and possibly leave your care, then I would address it with her directly.
Say something like "JoAnn, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I saw you peering in the door when I was scolding Suzie for playing in the toilet and the expression on your face was kind of perplexing.....I was just wondering if you would like to discuss anything with me or if you have any concerns."
Let HER explain what she was feeling/thinking etc and then go from there.
A lot of times what we think a parent observed or what we think they think isn't always spot on....kwim?
Plus, you aren't really going to stop having to scold the kids so parents better get used to it as it IS going to happen in life. THEY might be afraid of their child, but I certainly am not...
daycarediva 06:40 AM 07-03-2013
Devils advocate- why is a 16mo able to
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
jenn 06:42 AM 07-03-2013
I keep my door locked, not because I'm doing anything wrong, but for safety and privacy. I do, however have a lacy kind of curtain over the window at the top of the door. I have caught more than 1 parent standing on their tip toes to look in the window. I even had one that I caught crouched down looking through a mini blind that a kid had opened. I have always addressed it with the parent. "Good thing my neighbors didn't see you doing that, I'm afraid they might call the police." "Please ring the bell when you get here and you can see what is going on inside without having to peek inside." I feel like that is an invasion of privacy. Yes, I have your child in my home, but I don't think that gives you the right to spy on me or the other children. Weird.
Crystal 06:52 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Devils advocate- why is a 16mo able to
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
Yes, this. Rule number one here, and ALL of the DCK's follow the rule as well, lid gets put down and bathroom door is closed after each use. We have taught every child that if a baby gets in there and we do not know it they could fall head first into the toilet and not be able to lift themselves out, resulting in death. NO ONE gets away with leaving the lid up and door open here.Devils advocate- why is a 16mo able to
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
Blackcat31 07:02 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Devils advocate- why is a 16mo able to
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
Devils advocate- why is a 16mo able to
play in the toilet? She could have drowned. As a dcp, THAT would have been my concern.
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Yes, this. Rule number one here, and ALL of the DCK's follow the rule as well, lid gets put down and bathroom door is closed after each use. We have taught every child that if a baby gets in there and we do not know it they could fall head first into the toilet and not be able to lift themselves out, resulting in death. NO ONE gets away with leaving the lid up and door open here.
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.Yes, this. Rule number one here, and ALL of the DCK's follow the rule as well, lid gets put down and bathroom door is closed after each use. We have taught every child that if a baby gets in there and we do not know it they could fall head first into the toilet and not be able to lift themselves out, resulting in death. NO ONE gets away with leaving the lid up and door open here.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
countrymom 07:11 AM 07-03-2013
first I will say that I had a gma like this and we put a alarm (home depot) on the door. She hid on me and that was enough to buy an alarm on that door.
second, I think its not nice to jump all over her because the baby was playing in the toilet. Obviously you haven't met my little people who can open bathroom doors and lift up toilet seats without problems, why because they have been taught at home to do this. When you are one person you can't be in twenty different places, esp. if one of the children have diarrhea.
also, op, why do you have kids so late???
second, I think its not nice to jump all over her because the baby was playing in the toilet. Obviously you haven't met my little people who can open bathroom doors and lift up toilet seats without problems, why because they have been taught at home to do this. When you are one person you can't be in twenty different places, esp. if one of the children have diarrhea.
also, op, why do you have kids so late???
Evansmom 07:12 AM 07-03-2013
Yes! I've had had multiple DCDs who peer into the front window before they knock. Like with their hands around their eyes to shade them for long minutes peering in my window. Personally I think it's very rude behavior. I can not think they would act like that at a friend's house. It got to the point that before a certain DCD came I'd close those blinds even though I had them open during the day to let in sun.
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The DCM was in the wrong for looking in like that. Ask her if she needs to talk about it like Blackcat said and then lock your door after this and move on.
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The DCM was in the wrong for looking in like that. Ask her if she needs to talk about it like Blackcat said and then lock your door after this and move on.
Lefse&Kids 07:15 AM 07-03-2013
During dcg's crying I changed her and told her I had just scolded her for playing in the toilet. DCM says "oohhh, I scold for that too." It wasn't what she said to me, it was her behavior toward me.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
Crystal 07:30 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
I hear what you are saying. However, I still stand by what I said. All it takes is that one moment of "chaos" for something terrible to happen. It is simple to shut the door behind you. That's all.I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
Crystal 07:32 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
first I will say that I had a gma like this and we put a alarm (home depot) on the door. She hid on me and that was enough to buy an alarm on that door.
second, I think its not nice to jump all over her because the baby was playing in the toilet. Obviously you haven't met my little people who can open bathroom doors and lift up toilet seats without problems, why because they have been taught at home to do this. When you are one person you can't be in twenty different places, esp. if one of the children have diarrhea.
also, op, why do you have kids so late???
Who "jumped all over her"? It was practical, IMPORTANT advice. Not criticism or berating. Not sure why you took it as "jumping all over her" No one said she could be in twenty places at once, it was just advised that she close the door behind her, for safety's sake. Once you get it in your head to close it, it becomes a habit.first I will say that I had a gma like this and we put a alarm (home depot) on the door. She hid on me and that was enough to buy an alarm on that door.
second, I think its not nice to jump all over her because the baby was playing in the toilet. Obviously you haven't met my little people who can open bathroom doors and lift up toilet seats without problems, why because they have been taught at home to do this. When you are one person you can't be in twenty different places, esp. if one of the children have diarrhea.
also, op, why do you have kids so late???
And, if the littles can open the door, then you should have a lock on it.
kathiemarie 07:33 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
During dcg's crying I changed her and told her I had just scolded her for playing in the toilet. DCM says "oohhh, I scold for that too." It wasn't what she said to me, it was her behavior toward me.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
During dcg's crying I changed her and told her I had just scolded her for playing in the toilet. DCM says "oohhh, I scold for that too." It wasn't what she said to me, it was her behavior toward me.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
This is what I think. Take a deep breath and let it go. I hope you have a better day today!
Lefse&Kids 07:33 AM 07-03-2013
I'm open late because I do mostly, off hours care/part-timers. My hours are not set but all agreed times between me and dcps are set in advance.
Crystal 07:35 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
During dcg's crying I changed her and told her I had just scolded her for playing in the toilet. DCM says "oohhh, I scold for that too." It wasn't what she said to me, it was her behavior toward me.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
I do apologize to you if you felt my post, which was meant to be given as advice, not criticism, was offensive. I have just heard many horror stories about toilets and toddlers and it scares me.During dcg's crying I changed her and told her I had just scolded her for playing in the toilet. DCM says "oohhh, I scold for that too." It wasn't what she said to me, it was her behavior toward me.
She would normally hang around for a few minutes but she literally snatched dcg out of my arms and left with a quick "ok, bye then'. She also said she wouldn't need me for care this weekend.
Looking back, it may have been that she saw the chaos and was trying to be courteous. I think I may just go with that thought. And not needing care later may not be related at all, but when things line up like that, it stresses me a little. When dcps walk in on chaos I feel like they are judging my every move and it just makes the situation worse because now I have to greet them and try to explain their child's day through it all.
This particular dcp left two other dc's because of treatment issues. She is a worry-wort for her child and doesn't carry a lot of trust in general. She knows dcg loves it here, so I hope she will understand that these days happen.
I can easily fill the spot if she leaves, she's just part-time but I never want a parent to leave under false conditions. It's bound to happen with someone eventually, I'm just trying to put it off.
As for Mom, I'd just ask her upfront if there was a problem, as she seemed "rushed" when she picked up.
daycarediva 07:42 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I do apologize to you if you felt my post, which was meant to be given as advice, not criticism, was offensive. I have just heard many horror stories about toilets and toddlers and it scares me.
As for Mom, I'd just ask her upfront if there was a problem, as she seemed "rushed" when she picked up.
I do apologize to you if you felt my post, which was meant to be given as advice, not criticism, was offensive. I have just heard many horror stories about toilets and toddlers and it scares me.
As for Mom, I'd just ask her upfront if there was a problem, as she seemed "rushed" when she picked up.
I was NOT jumping all over the OP. I said, if *I* was the DCP, that would have been a concern for me. NOT a very stern "NO" to my child. I have toilet locks on my toilet, and a lock on the bathroom door (they are handle locks, so even the youngest child can easily open it. I do all of that, and my kids are all 2+ and MOST are toilet trained. It's just an easily fixable risk.
OP assumed it was because of her reaction to dcg in the toilet, I was simply pointing out that the reaction could have been from the fact that the dcg was in the toilet at all.
We all have chaotic moments, more than one child crying, that kind of thing, but the toilet was a serious lapse in safety that should be addressed so it doesn't happen again.
DaycareMom2012 08:01 AM 07-03-2013
My 14 mo DS is in the habit of playing in the toilet AND climbing on the toilet to the sink during dc hours and after, does that make me a bad parent?! NO. It's bc he is big enough and smart enough to open the door himself. Kids get out of eyesight of providers AND parents all the time. Doesn't mean they aren't doing what they can, kids are sneaky little things.
I don't think it was wrong at all to give her a firm NO. I smack my DS's hand so I definitely would've given her a very firm no as well. The mom could've had that face on bc you caught her spying at the door and was shocked and/or embarrassed you caught her. Or she could've just been mad at what you did, but oh well. Her kid doesn't need to be playing in the toilet it's gross and not safe. If you feel the need to explain, I would just let her know on certain situations you need up be stern with the kids to get them to understand you are serious when it comes to certain things especially when it comes to safety.
I don't think it was wrong at all to give her a firm NO. I smack my DS's hand so I definitely would've given her a very firm no as well. The mom could've had that face on bc you caught her spying at the door and was shocked and/or embarrassed you caught her. Or she could've just been mad at what you did, but oh well. Her kid doesn't need to be playing in the toilet it's gross and not safe. If you feel the need to explain, I would just let her know on certain situations you need up be stern with the kids to get them to understand you are serious when it comes to certain things especially when it comes to safety.
originalkat 08:02 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
Good Point. We have all had those moments when things are CRAZY and I dont think anyone would want a parent walking in at that moment.
Lefse&Kids 08:07 AM 07-03-2013
I wasn't offended or put off by anyone's comments. The other perspective about the toilet from a dcp is valid. My bathroom doors are closed off normally. Like I said it all lined up for a perfect moment of chaos.
The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.
The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.
daycare 08:20 AM 07-03-2013
one thing that I have learned is to STOP assuming. You have no clue what DCM is really thinking, unless she told you.
I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.
I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.
I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.
I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.
I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.
I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.
mom2many 09:19 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
one thing that I have learned is to STOP assuming. You have no clue what DCM is really thinking, unless she told you.
I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.
I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.
I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.
one thing that I have learned is to STOP assuming. You have no clue what DCM is really thinking, unless she told you.
I would have talked to her right then and there about the whole thing.
I would have addressed the situation that occurred and answered any of DCM concerns at that time.
I would have also told her right then and there, can you please be sure to knock on the door and wait for me to answer it. Normally it is locked, but looks like it was accidentally left unlocked.
Crystal 09:27 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
I wasn't offended or put off by anyone's comments. The other perspective about the toilet from a dcp is valid. My bathroom doors are closed off normally. Like I said it all lined up for a perfect moment of chaos.
The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.
Thank you. I am glad you were not offended, as it was not my intent at all!!!I wasn't offended or put off by anyone's comments. The other perspective about the toilet from a dcp is valid. My bathroom doors are closed off normally. Like I said it all lined up for a perfect moment of chaos.
The dcg wasn't playing in the toilet for any length of time. I heard a splash and reacted. I don't let them do that, its disgusting on top of dangerous.
I can see how it "all lined up for a perfect chaos" I am sure we have ALL had that happen at one time or another!
Relax and don't worry about DCM, I am sure she is fine and will get over the shock of hearing her child being told no!
Crystal 09:29 AM 07-03-2013
I just LOVE it when the OP of a thread is completely understanding and fine with a response, yet other posters feel the need to jump in and "defend" them when there was no reason to and it had nothing to do with them in the first place.
Blackcat31 10:02 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I just LOVE it when the OP of a thread is completely understanding and fine with a response, yet other posters feel the need to jump in and "defend" them when there was no reason to and it had nothing to do with them in the first place.
I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation. I just LOVE it when the OP of a thread is completely understanding and fine with a response, yet other posters feel the need to jump in and "defend" them when there was no reason to and it had nothing to do with them in the first place.
I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.
I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.
It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....
....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?
FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I
you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right? 
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:07 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
Yes! I've had had multiple DCDs who peer into the front window before they knock. Like with their hands around their eyes to shade them for long minutes peering in my window. Personally I think it's very rude behavior. I can not think they would act like that at a friend's house. It got to the point that before a certain DCD came I'd close those blinds even though I had them open during the day to let in sun.
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The DCM was in the wrong for looking in like that. Ask her if she needs to talk about it like Blackcat said and then lock your door after this and move on.
Ditto. Except, I don't have blinds on my decorative door window so I bought the window frosting paint and frosted it. You should have seen them trying to stare in the window after that LOL! It was hilarious. I could see them through my front window by my stairs (that has blinds yet they can't see through). Do you have an alarm that beeps when the door gets opened? I would look into that. Yes! I've had had multiple DCDs who peer into the front window before they knock. Like with their hands around their eyes to shade them for long minutes peering in my window. Personally I think it's very rude behavior. I can not think they would act like that at a friend's house. It got to the point that before a certain DCD came I'd close those blinds even though I had them open during the day to let in sun.
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. The DCM was in the wrong for looking in like that. Ask her if she needs to talk about it like Blackcat said and then lock your door after this and move on.
I agree with BlackCat.
Lefse&Kids 10:26 AM 07-03-2013
I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture
.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.
Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
TheGoodLife 10:35 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.
Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture
.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
What a great attitude! I agree that's the purpose of posting questions/ asking advice.
Crystal 10:38 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.
I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.
I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.
It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....
....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?
FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right?
Nah...not you. You didn't accuse me of jumping all over her.I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.
I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.
I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.
It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....
....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?
FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I
you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right? You know I love ya too.
Blackcat31 10:40 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Nah...not you. You didn't accuse me of jumping all over her.
You know I love ya too.
Thank you! Nah...not you. You didn't accuse me of jumping all over her.
You know I love ya too.
Just wanted to make sure/clarify.
My3cents 10:50 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
I read the OP's post as this wasn't necessarily anything that was normal but that at THAT particular moment " all hell had broken loose" at her house.
.....it was late...everyone was tired/cranky/done for the day....
.... one kid had diarrhea
.....a couple kids were crying at the same time
.....everyone was needing something and she is only one person.
It also happened in the evening and not during the day when I am sure things are more structured....
Sounds me like she simply had a TON going on at the moment.
From her previous posts, she doesn't sound like someone who isn't "on her game" at all times so I am sure having the toilet accessible to the child isn't a regular occurrence.
this.....
My3cents 10:58 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I hear what you are saying. However, I still stand by what I said. All it takes is that one moment of "chaos" for something terrible to happen. It is simple to shut the door behind you. That's all.
true and I hear where your coming from too.......but the moment you open your door and take a step out or a step out of your bed anything can happen. I still feel BCat was right on.....this provider was caught up in a moment of chaos and everything just went downhill for a few minutes. I don't think it went to the level of six feet under or even close.I hear what you are saying. However, I still stand by what I said. All it takes is that one moment of "chaos" for something terrible to happen. It is simple to shut the door behind you. That's all.
mrsnj 11:08 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Ditto. Except, I don't have blinds on my decorative door window so I bought the window frosting paint and frosted it. You should have seen them trying to stare in the window after that LOL! It was hilarious. I could see them through my front window by my stairs (that has blinds yet they can't see through). Do you have an alarm that beeps when the door gets opened? I would look into that.
I agree with BlackCat.
I have frosting too but they still peek in. Shade they face with hands and noses pressed up. Ya know it is more my dads too than my moms. Ditto. Except, I don't have blinds on my decorative door window so I bought the window frosting paint and frosted it. You should have seen them trying to stare in the window after that LOL! It was hilarious. I could see them through my front window by my stairs (that has blinds yet they can't see through). Do you have an alarm that beeps when the door gets opened? I would look into that.
I agree with BlackCat.
I lock my door too. I think it rude to just walk in without knocking and I DO have a few who try.I also believe in going with your gut. I swear I have a sixth sense and I would probably have picked up on an odd response too. In the end, ya can't do anything and worrying gets you no where.
Deep breath....move on.
My3cents 11:08 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.
I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.
I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.
It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....
....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?
FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right?
you summed this up so very well. I was ready to pounce~ but.....I too like you Crystal you have very good advice to offer, sometimes you just come across the wrong way.I assume this is directed towards me since I am the one who first mentioned a different perspective/interpretation of the situation.
I think whenever a poster starts a thread about a situation she IS asking for other comments, suggestions and ideas.....which makes it everyone's business...or least those that reply.
I also did not personally say you or daycarediva did or said anything wrong, offensive or insulting.....I totally understand where you were both coming from but I was still compelled to share my perspective....which was in NO way jumping on you or anyone else.
It's awesome that the OP wasn't offended by any of the comments, and your response to her was also fitting....it was this last comment (the one I quoted) that I now see as offensive.....
....and the kinds of comments that start drama kwim?
FWIW~ This is in NO way personal...you KNOW I
you, but again I just had to add my response ....especially since that is what we are here for......everyone else's 2 cents.... right?
My3cents 11:10 AM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lefse&Kids:
I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.
Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
Welcome to the boards....your going to fit in well here!!!I think I will be looking at getting an alarm for the door. Not only would it remedy that, it will let me know ANY time the door opens (my stepson frequently forgets to lock doors when he uses them-the older kiddos figured this out and tail behind him trying to "get free") Oh no, they can only play in the 1/2 acre back yard! What torture
.. its cute, kind of, to watch their futile attempts.Why is it that kids pine only for the things not allowed anyway? My front yard is pint sized unfenced, while by back yard is huge and fenced. Yet the front is what they whine for. oh well... ah wait, unfenced, that's why
btw, I love getting all responses, opinions and perspectives. Yes, that is why I post, if I didn't want input, I would just complain to my husband (who would respond, "eh")
Jack Sprat 12:27 PM 07-03-2013
You have nothing to explain. You were protecting the child and making it clear that you don't play in the toilet.
I find it rather freaky that the mom was "spying" on you.
I find it rather freaky that the mom was "spying" on you.
AmyKidsCo 01:15 PM 07-03-2013
Originally Posted by Lil Monkey:
You have nothing to explain. You were protecting the child and making it clear that you don't play in the toilet.
I find it rather freaky that the mom was "spying" on you.
ITA with the first part - I never feel bad about being harsh when it comes to safety.You have nothing to explain. You were protecting the child and making it clear that you don't play in the toilet.
I find it rather freaky that the mom was "spying" on you.
I don't agree with the second part - I have a mom who loves watching her son interact with his friends here because he's an only child so she rarely gets to see him with other children. She sometimes peeks in the door at pick-up to watch him play without him seeing her - I never thought she was spying on me.