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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kid Told Me He Is Going To See His New Daycare...
Country Kids 08:46 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, you're saying we should unconditionally stand by providers even when they are wrong? You made it clear that the most important piece of this was about the money when you stated you wanted to be underhanded and change your contract on them, and was wondering if it would hold up without their signatures. That's the kind of crap that turns parents off of family child care......completely unprofessional.

And, I can see a whopping $70 WEEKLY increase/ $140 for two kids, being reason to find new care.....that is a SUBSTANTIAL increase and I can't imagine any parent appreciating that.
I don't think she was increasing it by $70 a week, I think she was going to be charging $70.00 a week. $140.00 a week is what alot of providers make for one child and they were getting this for 2 is what I'm reading.
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Christian Mother 08:50 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I'm going to tell you a story, this happened this year, the end of june.

I also go thru my calender and see who is going to come for the summer. I even ask all the parents at the beginning of june. Not one person said anything to me, not even this one family.

so 2 weeks into june, the boy (who turned 4) started telling me that he was going to camp for summer. I thought nothing of it BECAUSE I HAD THIS FAMILY FOR 4 YEARS AND HE WAS GOING TO SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER. And like kids, I never questioned him, because we all know kids talk.

so the last day of june, mom comes in and says that he wouldn't be coming this summer that he was going to camp. Lets just say, I couldn't pick my mouth up off the floor. Here was a family, that I bent over backwards for, watched their child for 4 yrs and watched their evil older brother for a whole summer to be slapped in the face with, "hes going to camp"

I was so mad, and you know what she said, "I didn't know how to tell you" which was bull, we had open communication, my odd watched the younger child, our families got along, so for her to tell me, that she couldn't tell me was bull.

oh, you know what, I sharge 120 for the week and camp was charging her 100 dollars, so for 20 dollars she sent her kid to camp. And that camp was open till 530pm and I close at 5pm, yet mom is done work at 4pm. She didn't want to spend anytime with her kid.

so in the end, I think its the parents responsiblity to tell us providers, not send their kids to do their dirty work. Thats rude and inconsiderate, I was hurt by what she did, hurt that she didn't say anything.
My thoughts EXACTLY!!

And Crystal...
(People who think children have no rights, think they are incapable of critical thinking....THOSE are the types of people who would say and do things like this).

My 4 yr old and 8 yr do NOT have any rights. Not at their ages. My children can most def. voice thoughts and have a opinions but, it comes down to my decision always. I will always have that final say. And I am sure most parents will agree on this. Parents that allow there child to dictate how things will be for them and themselves will create quiet a bit of a struggle as they grow up. Children need to have boundaries. We as adults and parents set that for them. By allowing a child to always have a say in matters I promise will back fire bc then nothing will ever be good enough for that child. They would not understand what is good for them bc there brain is not developed enough nor have they the life challenges to make a good decisions for them selves. A parent needs to be there to STAND IN THE WAY...always. We need to monitor how our children make choices for them selves. Whats acceptably and what is not.

Honestly, I think the responsible thing to do is when either party is looking to make a change that they do so without involving the children right away. Go looking around and find a new daycare...when there is one that you like then it would be time to talk to the old daycare and notify them that your making a switch then after the talk of when the last day would be...then get the child involved. In a daycare setting though I would never tell a child so and so is replacing them. I wouldn't think that be necessary. I'd be to involved with spending as much time with them before they leave. Letting them know I love them and will miss them. I'd try not to be hurt the parents where switching them but I'd try to leave my feelings out of it and wish them all the best.


It's not cool that the parents did this. They should be honest with the provider and take the hit if they can't find care within her notice time. It's disrespectful of the relationship. If we are allowed that level of disrespect then it should be allowable BOTH ways. If we are all about what is BEST FIT then best fit needs to go both ways.

I honestly think that YOU are being disagreeable here, JUST to be disagreeable. And YOU are wrong.....course you would never admit that

Knock off the pot shots. This is a conversation that NEEDS to be had.

I wouldn't appreciate being told that there is a liklihood that I'm going to loose fifteen/twenty percent of my income by a little kid I've been caring for for three years.

It's a $hitty thing to do. The LEAST these guys could have done is discuss it FIRST with the provider and THEN the child. The LEAST they could do is bring the provider in on it and the child... parent... and provider could make the transition as easy as possible.

It's called RESPECT. If we are going to stick to what the notice time is and the provider can find out any way the parent decides then it SHOULD be understood that that goes BOTH ways. Maybe the parents getting notice of their kid leaving at Christmas wouldn't have been received as well as the provider is being expected to receive it.
Reply With Quote

NOW THIS I LOVE!! It's what I was trying to get across the whole time...Nan is just WAY better with words then I could ever be...Thanks Nan for stating it just the way I felt.
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Unregistered 09:01 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, you're saying we should unconditionally stand by providers even when they are wrong? You made it clear that the most important piece of this was about the money when you stated you wanted to be underhanded and change your contract on them, and was wondering if it would hold up without their signatures. That's the kind of crap that turns parents off of family child care......completely unprofessional.

And, I can see a whopping $70 WEEKLY increase/ $140 for two kids, being reason to find new care.....that is a SUBSTANTIAL increase and I can't imagine any parent appreciating that.
I Must clarify this or it will drive me bonkers.....it is an extra 2.50/per week...not 70.00. I am not that nuts! so 70.25 per kid or 140.50 for the two kid families not a big increase at all. especially for 40-50 hours a week of care.
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daycare 09:04 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I didn't want to come back and update because of the lynching I am getting here. This is supposed to be a sounding board for advice, not a place to be bullied. But, so many of you are really caring and understanding so you do deserve the update.

I had a bad day yesterday. Asked both parents to let me know what was up as I was told the kid was moving and getting a new daycare. I told the parents that I totally understand if they are moving and I would miss child immensely. I also told parent if they were not moving but seeking new care I also get it because sometimes parents just need a change. Again, I would miss child greatly. No response. Five hours later, no response. These parents who expect me to be at their beck and call via call, text or e-mail at anytime during the day could not muster up the courage to respond. Parent arrived for pick up and tried to blow me off. I asked what was going on and he said they are making some changes. I asked if there was something I could have done differently. No response. I kept at it though and was finally told it was because I was going to charge $70.50 a week per kid next starting next September. I said I could charge low rates in the past but could not going forward. I know this isn't the real reason they are leaving. The real reason is because I got my backbone and told them I would not be involved in their drama anymore and would only allow contact from the custodial parent of the day and I would need a copy of the custody arrangement because of some issues. I asked when the last day was, they don't know yet. End of story. That's all I know. The kid will still get the utmost in care and love from me until the end. I am leaving the board for good now. I don't like the attitude from people on here. There are some great providers and caring individuals on here but to come on and ask for advice and get slammed...not my cup of tea. Thanks everyone and good luck to all of you in your future. For those of you I have e-mails for, I will still stay in touch and visit! Thanks again,
Moi
First off, I am so sad to read this....I am so sorry that anyone has slammed you. I think a lot of times people get into with each other and they some how say things that are hurtful to you. I know that no one wants to be rejected or to be put down. PLEASE consider staying. I don't know who you are, but I know that your experiences teach us all lessons.

Let the other people post their thoughts and opinions and don't take it to heart. I have been where you are. Realize that there are a million different walks of life here.

Everyday I get slammed because of where I came from, my religion and my beliefs. I get attacked with words daily. I get called Habib and other horrible words. I pay the price for what someone else did from a country near mine. Here is the only place I am not judged, but yet respect that I can say anything I want freely. YOu can too. I tell you this, not to try to justify their wrong, but because here there is no judgement, only thought and opinions. You have to take it as that...

Please stay....
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nannyde 09:09 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
The sad thing is that they still don't know when the childs last day is! That says they either haven't found childcare for the child and are seeing if the provider will back down and charge them less. They may also not be able to find cheaper childcare and are trying to figure out what to do. Also, any childcare while need the custody paper to cover themselves also. I think these parents will find out that the real world of childcare is about legalities and parents can't have their way on things like that.

I'm really sorry this has turned into a huge debate though and caused someone to leave the forum. I think we need to all remember that we need to put experiences if we have them when asked certain questions not what if type situations.

People ask Dear Abby all the time for adivice and she has actually reversed quite a few opinions she had over the years. When people ask for adivice here think about your response before typing. Is it coming across harsh, judgemental, know it all or as an understanding friend that would cross the world to help you find a solution. We teach the children to treat others as you want to be treated but do we do that as adults?
Honestly it sounds like they don't have the money to come up with the deposit for the kids slot in day care. They are telling the kid that he will go at a time when it is far enough away so they can get the cash it's gonna take to get in the door.

There's SOME chance that they are doing this to get the provider back into check. I hope that's not true. They may be looking for day care and saying the day care will start a month and a half away because looking and talking are free.
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wdmmom 09:14 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, if the parent is trying to get their child in a program that does not have an opening for 6 weeks, and if they don't secure the space now it will likely be gone....they shouldn't take their child to meet the potential new provider? The parent is DUMB for not talking to the provider FIRST? No way in HELL I would talk to the provider first when she CLEARLY cares about her INCOME before she cares about the FAMILY.

Whatever....I cannot have this discussion with people who CLEARLY only care about the provider side of it....it's the same ol' same ol' here....providers covering their own asses and the parent is always wrong. I am sick of hearing this same old song............
That's great!!! Parents can do what they want. After all, they are the child's caretaker/guardian/parent. They make decisions for them. And, if changing daycare is what the parent wants to do, it's well within their right!
HOWEVER...if there is a 6 week wait to get in, don't you think it would make more sense to notify the current provider YOURSELF and take your child as it gets closer to the enrollment time...not 6 weeks before?!

From a parents prospective: I wouldn't introduce any new provider, place, etc to my child until I met with the people first and made the decision to enroll my child. I also wouldn't have the discussion with my child if there was a wait. I would give my current provider the time required by contract and within that time frame, schedule a time to bring my child by the new facility.

From a providers prospective: I think a child telling the provider anything makes for bad business. Kids talk and whether it's fibs or truth isn't really up for us to decide but when 20% of our income lies with this family, we usually fear the worst and hope for the best. Some of us have the ability to strike up conversation with the parent and ask. Others don't. I don't see where this provider did anything wrong at all and should have never been told the way she was. Especially when the parents were spineless and tried ignoring her questions. Why make the break any more difficult than it usually is?! Be open and honest and enjoy the last little bit of time you have. AND...ask when their last day will be!

In my opinion, the parents approach to this was very tacky, rude and disrespectful towards the provider.

That type of situation would never work here. If I couldn't get a straightforward answer from the parent and the kid is the one that told me. I'll make it easier for all involved and make the break that day!
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Just Saying 09:19 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, you're saying we should unconditionally stand by providers even when they are wrong? You made it clear that the most important piece of this was about the money when you stated you wanted to be underhanded and change your contract on them, and was wondering if it would hold up without their signatures. That's the kind of crap that turns parents off of family child care......completely unprofessional.

And, I can see a whopping $70 WEEKLY increase/ $140 for two kids, being reason to find new care.....that is a SUBSTANTIAL increase and I can't imagine any parent appreciating that.
Crystal, it was not about the money for the OP, She just wanted WHAT WAS OWED TO HER!! And even if she was closed Thanksgiving week, the DCP still would owe her 2 weeks of pay!!

Again hopefully one day a few of your parents would not try this on you!

OP>>>>Just Saying is BACKING YOU 100%.. here is some good vibes for you that you will get a daycare call in 5 days to fill your spot and then BOOT that family out your door!!

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS!!!
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mrsp'slilpeeps 09:20 AM 11-10-2011
Lets put it this way, and this is how I would feel about it.

DCM went behind the provider's back and found a new daycare for DCB.

Provider is now feeling, what did I do wrong? and she is now second guessing herself as a good DC provider and a good person in general.

DC provider's feelings are HURT.

DCM had no intention of telling DC provider what her plans were.

DC provider is now feeling angry, resentful, hurt, and is wondering WTH do I do now?

DC provider needs to tell this DCM you are done as of this day, you still need to pay me my 2 week fee, if not see you in court.

Good bye DCB, you will be missed and good luck in your new dayhome.

End of story.

Im sorry but I cant stand all of the, Well maybe you should do this, maybe you should do that, blah blah,blah.
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DaycareMomma 09:32 AM 11-10-2011
I just need to say this, to the OP, I am so sorry you feel the need to leave here. I feel this is a great place for providers to come and vent and get advice, I have learned a great deal about this place.

That said, I am one of those providers that watches for my own family first. Yes I LOVE each and every one of my daycare kids, with everything I am, but when it comes to paying my bills, providing for my family, yes my family comes first.

If I have a stressful life full of vehicles getting repo'd, a foreclosure on my house, electricity getting turned off..... then I will NOT be the best provider I can be for your child/ren.

I understand that some think the OP should have just went face to face right away with the parents, but I know some of my parents prefer text/emails over face to face.... it's just the way the world works now.

Again, OP I hope you rethink your decision to stay. I'd love to hear how this continues to turn out for you. But if you do decide to go....Best wishes in all you do and thank you for being a great part of society by loving those kids!
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nannyde 09:35 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I Must clarify this or it will drive me bonkers.....it is an extra 2.50/per week...not 70.00. I am not that nuts! so 70.25 per kid or 140.50 for the two kid families not a big increase at all. especially for 40-50 hours a week of care.
I knew what you meant.

So what's the tuition at the center?
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DaycareMomma 09:39 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by mrsp'slilpeeps:
Lets put it this way, and this is how I would feel about it.

DCM went behind the provider's back and found a new daycare for DCB.

Provider is now feeling, what did I do wrong? and she is now second guessing herself as a good DC provider and a good person in general.

DC provider's feelings are HURT.

DCM had no intention of telling DC provider what her plans were.

DC provider is now feeling angry, resentful, hurt, and is wondering WTH do I do now?

DC provider needs to tell this DCM you are done as of this day, you still need to pay me my 2 week fee, if not see you in court.

Good bye DCB, you will be missed and good luck in your new dayhome.

End of story.

Im sorry but I cant stand all of the, Well maybe you should do this, maybe you should do that, blah blah,blah.
Amen! Enough said.
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Christian Mother 09:52 AM 11-10-2011
Op- I really hope you don't leave us. Your post was a really good one...it makes us all talk about WWYD if that was happening to us. No one is really coming down on you and to be honest I really respect everyone on here even though I might not agree with what everyone says. But I feel comfortable being able to voice my opinion and knowing that by dishing out what I think and feel in return others may do the same. Everyone makes really good points. I appreciate that. Don't not contribute to this forum bc of what's being said. People are just voicing what they think they would of done or what you could do. It's up to you on whether you want to take that advice. I really hope you'll stay though. I really would like to know what your going to do now and follow with you through this. We all do....Hugs!!
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small_steps 10:02 AM 11-10-2011
I read it that she raised her rates to $70.50 per child not raised the actual rate $70.50 per child? there is a big difference there...she could have only been charging them $65 per week per child. Am I reading it wrong?
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Country Kids 10:13 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by small_steps:
I read it that she raised her rates to $70.50 per child not raised the actual rate $70.50 per child? there is a big difference there...she could have only been charging them $65 per week per child. Am I reading it wrong?
No, she is only charging $70.50 a week per child! Can't beat that for a price and sounds like good, quality care. Parents are probably panicked because now the cat is out of the bag and they can't find that low price anywhere else!
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small_steps 10:22 AM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
No, she is only charging $70.50 a week per child! Can't beat that for a price and sounds like good, quality care. Parents are probably panicked because now the cat is out of the bag and they can't find that low price anywhere else!
I know. That's a really low price. I wouldn't be complaining if I were those parents. Our area's prices I think are low compared to others (around $100-125 for home daycares), but they're getting a bargain.
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MarinaVanessa 10:45 AM 11-10-2011
Well, regardless of whatever else was said on this thread (and alot has been said since the last time I commented ) I still say that the OP should start looking for a replacement now. I think there's even more reason to do so now than there ever was since she is now certain that they are for sure leaving her DC.

She doesn't know when they are leaving and well, times are tough. I know that finding replacements is harder now for some of us than it ever was and the smart thing to do is to start interviewing for a potential client. If she finds a client before her DCF gives notice then she can give them a 2 week notice. If she doesn't then the family is within their rights to give her their 2 weeks notice when they are ready.

One thing that I do agree with Crystal is that the parent DOESN'T have to tell the provider that they are looking for childcare elsewhere. Is is tacky? Sure. Would we appreciate being told ahead of this? Of course. But when it comes right down to it, it isn't a requirement. I'm sure that none of us have a policy that reads "if you decide to look for childcare elsewhere you must notify me as soon as you make that decision or begin looking for new childcare". That being said however, it works both ways. The provider is free to begin a search for a new family to fill the spot as early as she can even if the other family is not ready to go yet, as long as she gives them their two-weeks notice once she has found a replacement.

Would the provider have prefered that the parents spoke to her before they began looking for a new DC? Of course. Would the parents prefer that the provider speak to them before she begins looking for replacement clients? Of course. Are either required? No. The only requirement is that they give the required 2-weeks notice.
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dEHmom 11:51 AM 11-10-2011
wow! I missed 2 pages worth of responses since yesterday afternoon!

Anyways, I will try keep this short.

I agree this situation is not the most pleasant, but I still stand firm that the parents haven't done anything wrong. The kid spilled the beans, but kids are kids.

IF you were employed in an office somewhere, and were pursuing other avenues, would you go to your boss and say "i'm looking for another job" and leave it at that? No you'd probably wait until you secured that other job first, and then hand in your 2 weeks notice when the time comes.

It sucks, and it hurts I don't disagree one bit on that. BUT I don't think they set the kid up to tell the provider, and I don't think they've done wrong. I don't think they are disrespecting. HOWEVER once the op let them know she knew, that's where the situation changed and became a matter of respect.
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Just Saying 12:01 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
wow! I missed 2 pages worth of responses since yesterday afternoon!

Anyways, I will try keep this short.

I agree this situation is not the most pleasant, but I still stand firm that the parents haven't done anything wrong. The kid spilled the beans, but kids are kids.

IF you were employed in an office somewhere, and were pursuing other avenues, would you go to your boss and say "i'm looking for another job" and leave it at that? No you'd probably wait until you secured that other job first, and then hand in your 2 weeks notice when the time comes.

It sucks, and it hurts I don't disagree one bit on that. BUT I don't think they set the kid up to tell the provider, and I don't think they've done wrong. I don't think they are disrespecting. HOWEVER once the op let them know she knew, that's where the situation changed and became a matter of respect.
When I decided to open my daycare, I told my boss that I would be leaving. I told him that I was going to stay till I got my first child. He was happy for me....he said he was sad he was loosing his best worker and he even told me to use some of my vacation days to work on my daycare rooms or he would pay me out for all them. So YES I was HONEST with my boss. And the day I enrolled my first 2 children (Thursday & they started on a Monday) I went in on Friday and said this is my last day and my boss was SO happy for me.

There are still people like myself that have MORALS and I believe in honesty! Smiles!
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countrymom 12:09 PM 11-10-2011
everyone has given their opinion on the situation BEFORE the provider approached the parents, BUT now that the provider has asked them the question and they are avoiding her, what do you think she should do now. WHAT SHOULD THE OP DO NOW CONSIDERING THEY ARE AVOIDING THE WHOLE SITUATION.
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Crystal 12:13 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Just Saying:
Crystal, you owe people on the post an "I AM SORRY". No, I don't. I did not say anything I did not mean.

I am a provider that DOES NOT have to have ANY income, I do daycare because I love little children! BUT, I refuse to EVER let a parent disrespect me! This is what is wrong with our world today! But most providers are not as lucky as me and MUST rely on their income. And a lot of parents KNOW this and will USE their provider and suck any life out of them, and this is SO SAD!!

I can only pray that one day you wake up and find that 4 or 5 of your daycare parents STAB you in the back and you loose income. I believe this would put you and your family in a hardship. The OP may only be loosing 1 child, but that 1 child's income could be food for her family. Nice. You would PRAY for someone to be stabbed in the back by 4 or 5 parents? You must be a Christian.

And to your remark about providers covering there own assXX and the parent is always wrong, that was a VERY RUDE comment on your part. If parents read and FOLLOWED providers handbooks and gave the provider RESPECT, then NO provider would ever have to post for advise. It was not a rude comment, it was an honest comment. I see it on this forum every single day. Many providers here, while they do care about their children, talk trash about their families all the time here. I am sick and tired of it. I can say if these providers would spend as much time on their business as they do bashing parents on this forum, they may not have so much drama with their work.

Parents that use home day cares need to WAKE up and realize that providers are the SECOND most important person in their child"s LIFE. I am so lucky to have parents that TRUST & RESPECT me, but if one of my children cam in and told me that they have a new daycare and the parent NEVER had the respect to talk to me, I would be waiting for them at pick up and look them straight in the eyes and tell them what the child told me, then i would tell them i am happy for them and I would have the child's things ready to hand to them.

My reason for ending daycare on the spot.....You disrespected me!! I see no disrespect on the parent's part here....they interviewed a new provider because they were not happy with their current providers rate increase. I say AGAIN, they have not bailed and burned the provider by not paying and providing a two week notice. They are still holding up their end of the bargain....the provider is the one who wanted to change the contract AGAIN to fit her needs in case the parents leave before thanksgiving when she would not be getting paid for that week anyway....THAT is disrepectful. WHY do the parents not deserve any respect and ONLY the provider does????

Would I miss the child....YOU BET!! But I would have more respect for myself and i would not want the child to have to endure any more sadness ONE more day!!

Again Crystal, your posts are kinda rude towards providers, but who knows you may have this to happen to you one day!! Good Luck!! And if this ever does happen to me, instead of trying to turn the table on the parents, I would take a good, long, hard look at my business practices, and adjust them accordingly.
blah, blah, blah....................
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Crystal 12:14 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I Must clarify this or it will drive me bonkers.....it is an extra 2.50/per week...not 70.00. I am not that nuts! so 70.25 per kid or 140.50 for the two kid families not a big increase at all. especially for 40-50 hours a week of care.
My bad....I misread your post.
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Crystal 12:15 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
First off, I am so sad to read this....I am so sorry that anyone has slammed you. I think a lot of times people get into with each other and they some how say things that are hurtful to you. I know that no one wants to be rejected or to be put down. PLEASE consider staying. I don't know who you are, but I know that your experiences teach us all lessons.

Let the other people post their thoughts and opinions and don't take it to heart. I have been where you are. Realize that there are a million different walks of life here.

Everyday I get slammed because of where I came from, my religion and my beliefs. I get attacked with words daily. I get called Habib and other horrible words. I pay the price for what someone else did from a country near mine. Here is the only place I am not judged, but yet respect that I can say anything I want freely. YOu can too. I tell you this, not to try to justify their wrong, but because here there is no judgement, only thought and opinions. You have to take it as that...

Please stay....
Nobody slammed her. In fact, I stated that I do feel badly for her. I just happen to think parents deserve some respect too.....if these parents bailed on her, I could understand, BUT that is not the case.
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Crystal 12:17 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Honestly it sounds like they don't have the money to come up with the deposit for the kids slot in day care. They are telling the kid that he will go at a time when it is far enough away so they can get the cash it's gonna take to get in the door.

There's SOME chance that they are doing this to get the provider back into check. I hope that's not true. They may be looking for day care and saying the day care will start a month and a half away because looking and talking are free.
You REALLY make alot of assumptions about parents. I see it from you all the time. Why is it that you are so jaded when it comes to parents....you seem to think they are ALL out to get us?

THIS is the type of thing I am SICK of. From EVERY provider who does this on a regualr basis. It is disgusting.
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Crystal 12:19 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Just Saying:
Crystal, it was not about the money for the OP, She just wanted WHAT WAS OWED TO HER!! And even if she was closed Thanksgiving week, the DCP still would owe her 2 weeks of pay!!

Again hopefully one day a few of your parents would not try this on you!

OP>>>>Just Saying is BACKING YOU 100%.. here is some good vibes for you that you will get a daycare call in 5 days to fill your spot and then BOOT that family out your door!!

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS!!!
Nothing was owed to her. They are not leaving yet. When they bail and don't pay, that is when she would have a legitimite reason to complain about WHAT WAS OWED TO HER.
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Kaddidle Care 12:20 PM 11-10-2011
I'm sorry the OP feels she needs to leave. But she can change her mind.

Nothing for nothing, she's not being paid enough to watch those 2 children. If this family leaves, hopefully she will fill the slots with 2 children at $100.00 per week or more each.

Everything for a reason.
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Crystal 12:23 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Just Saying:
When I decided to open my daycare, I told my boss that I would be leaving. I told him that I was going to stay till I got my first child. He was happy for me....he said he was sad he was loosing his best worker and he even told me to use some of my vacation days to work on my daycare rooms or he would pay me out for all them. So YES I was HONEST with my boss. And the day I enrolled my first 2 children (Thursday & they started on a Monday) I went in on Friday and said this is my last day and my boss was SO happy for me.

There are still people like myself that have MORALS and I believe in honesty! Smiles!
So, then.... If you, for whatever reason, decided that you did not want to care for a particular child, would you start advertising to fill the spot and THEN tell the parent, after you found a replacement, that they are losing their childcare, or would you be upfront and say hey, I really don't like you, so I am going to start advertising to fill your spot?????
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Crystal 12:26 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
I'm sorry the OP feels she needs to leave. But she can change her mind.

Nothing for nothing, she's not being paid enough to watch those 2 children. If this family leaves, hopefully she will fill the slots with 2 children at $100.00 per week or more each.

Everything for a reason.
I agree.....$70 per week is too low.
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dEHmom 12:31 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
everyone has given their opinion on the situation BEFORE the provider approached the parents, BUT now that the provider has asked them the question and they are avoiding her, what do you think she should do now. WHAT SHOULD THE OP DO NOW CONSIDERING THEY ARE AVOIDING THE WHOLE SITUATION.
I think right now she needs to think about what is best for her and her business. NOW they have told her they don't like the increase and decided to look elsewhere. Once again though, I don't know that this is reason to terminate them, but I think the real issue is the way they are treating her NOW that they've told her this.

If their behavior or attitude remain this way, it's creating a hostile environment. Therefore, grounds for termination. It's always awkward finishing up the last days when you know a child is leaving for another provider no matter the situation. But if it's beyond awkward, and it's affecting the care of the child, then she has every right to decide to term.
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Crystal 12:34 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by MichellesKiddos:
So Crystal, from what you are saying, you believe that a provider shouldn't care about their income? They shouldn't worry about how they are going to provide for their family, or pay the bills, or even buy the food for the dcks?! How on earth can you say that a provider should care about the family before their income?! That's just stupid in my opinion...why work then?! Obviously you aren't fully taking in what everyone is saying because you wouldn't be getting so riled up over this. The majority of the posts have stated that the parent should have handled this differently by either NOT telling the child OR by telling the PROVIDER first before the child. This is a forum, where everyone can voice their own opinions..yours included. Why post anything at all if all you are going to do is belittle other providers.

Whatever....I cannot have this discussion with people who CLEARLY only care about the provider side of it....it's the same ol' same ol' here....providers covering their own asses and the parent is always wrong. I am sick of hearing this same old song............
No, I am not saying the provider should not care about their income. Of course they should. BUT, this parent still has ample time to give notice and the provider has ample time to replace them. I disagree that the parent was disrespectful.

And my part of the post that you quoted.....with all due respect, I say that because I have been on this forum for 2 years and I have heard all of this garbage about parents for 2 years and it has gotten really old.............
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Crystal 12:37 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
I think right now she needs to think about what is best for her and her business. NOW they have told her they don't like the increase and decided to look elsewhere. Once again though, I don't know that this is reason to terminate them, but I think the real issue is the way they are treating her NOW that they've told her this.

If their behavior or attitude remain this way, it's creating a hostile environment. Therefore, grounds for termination. It's always awkward finishing up the last days when you know a child is leaving for another provider no matter the situation. But if it's beyond awkward, and it's affecting the care of the child, then she has every right to decide to term.
I agree. Now that it is out in the open, you do what is best for everyone involved. ESPECIALLY for the child.
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Christian Mother 01:13 PM 11-10-2011
Quote=Countrymom- everyone has given their opinion on the situation BEFORE the provider approached the parents, BUT now that the provider has asked them the question and they are avoiding her, what do you think she should do now. WHAT SHOULD THE OP DO NOW CONSIDERING THEY ARE AVOIDING THE WHOLE SITUATION.


Originally Posted by dEHmom:
I think right now she needs to think about what is best for her and her business. NOW they have told her they don't like the increase and decided to look elsewhere. Once again though, I don't know that this is reason to terminate them, but I think the real issue is the way they are treating her NOW that they've told her this.

If their behavior or attitude remain this way, it's creating a hostile environment. Therefore, grounds for termination. It's always awkward finishing up the last days when you know a child is leaving for another provider no matter the situation. But if it's beyond awkward, and it's affecting the care of the child, then she has every right to decide to term.
I agree...I think at this point it's best to start advertising for a replacement family. It will be hard though bc there is no ashually date that they will transition out. She can ask the parents when they'd like to start and let them know that the family that is being replaced has 2 wk per their contact since they couldn't start til then. Then she can draw up her 2 wk term paper work for that family and give it to them. Here is the problem I see with the parents. Yes, I agree in that they have the right to go out and look for other daycares see what the going rate is...it's kind of like interviewing for a job in sorts. The thing is...they took the job or daycare. However long it took them to look around wasn't given to the provider. She was blind sided. So now she has 2 wks to look. Well now she can start looking on her own and find a replacement. But, here's another thing dcb said end of xmas he'd be moving why didn't the parents say the same thing so the provider would have a good amount of time to start looking also? It's terrible to know your being replaced but not know when...if she just waited and then one day get a 2 wk notice she may take her a lot longer to find someone to replace that family...I think I'm writing a run on sentence...
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Just Saying 01:35 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
So, then.... If you, for whatever reason, decided that you did not want to care for a particular child, would you start advertising to fill the spot and THEN tell the parent, after you found a replacement, that they are losing their childcare, or would you be upfront and say hey, I really don't like you, so I am going to start advertising to fill your spot?????
No, I would tell the parent FIRST and I would be honest about why it was not working. And Crystal, why in the world would I say "I really don't like you"? That remark was kinda childish!
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Country Kids 01:38 PM 11-10-2011
Why are the parents in such a panic if the provider isn't even doing anything untile SEPTEMBER!!!! Seriously, its not like she doing it the start of Dec., she gave like a 11 month notice.

Also, since she knows they are leaving could she just tell them she considers that their two week notice and at the end of two weeks-bye,bye. Would that be a correct thing to do?
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Unregistered 01:53 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
No, I think you should just start looking to fill the spot.
Totally agree! I wouldn't say anything. I don't accept termination papers during vacations or on weekends. I have taken quite a few to a collection agency AND have been paid.
On a side note: Take a paid vacation! I take 10 days throughout the year. They are days most of my dc parents have off anyways. You deserve a paid vacay!
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Crystal 02:03 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Just Saying:
No, I would tell the parent FIRST and I would be honest about why it was not working. And Crystal, why in the world would I say "I really don't like you"? That remark was kinda childish!
I was being sarcastic...not childish.... Yeah, I shouldn't say something like that, but when Nan says the provider should be able to term a child by telling the CHILD so that the child informs the parent, it's all good. Whatever.

I guess I'll just have to take your word that you would tell the parent first.....but as you have read on this forum, I am sure, MOST providers WOULD NOT tell the parent first....in fact, in this very thread it has been stated that this provider should look for a replacement without telling the family.
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Crystal 02:04 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Why are the parents in such a panic if the provider isn't even doing anything untile SEPTEMBER!!!! Seriously, its not like she doing it the start of Dec., she gave like a 11 month notice.

Also, since she knows they are leaving could she just tell them she considers that their two week notice and at the end of two weeks-bye,bye. Would that be a correct thing to do?
The OP has stated herself that that is not the real reason why.....there are other issues....perhaps issues that give the parent VALID reasons for seeking other care....we just don't know because we only have one side to the story.
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Just Saying 03:00 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
blah, blah, blah....................
Crystal, kinda childish again by your above!!

Also your remark here shows again your a rude person!!
(I said) I can only pray that one day you wake up and find that 4 or 5 of your daycare parents STAB you in the back and you loose income. I believe this would put you and your family in a hardship. The OP may only be loosing 1 child, but that 1 child's income could be food for her family.

(You said) Nice. You would PRAY for someone to be stabbed in the back by 4 or 5 parents? You must be a Christian. (and you put a laughing smiley)

YES I AM A CHRISTIAN and your point to the laughing smiley???? and when re-reading this I left out a word, it should of said ONE DAY YOU DON'T WAKE UP. I would never be that RUDE and wish this on you, I pray it never would happen to you.

You also state you are SICK of all this....Then why do you continue to read posts and post replies?? You are stressing yourself out.....take a break....from all your posts looks like you are about to POP!!
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Crystal 03:10 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Just Saying:
Crystal, kinda childish again by your above!!

Also your remark here shows again your a rude person!!
(I said) I can only pray that one day you wake up and find that 4 or 5 of your daycare parents STAB you in the back and you loose income. I believe this would put you and your family in a hardship. The OP may only be loosing 1 child, but that 1 child's income could be food for her family.

(You said) Nice. You would PRAY for someone to be stabbed in the back by 4 or 5 parents? You must be a Christian. (and you put a laughing smiley)

YES I AM A CHRISTIAN and your point to the laughing smiley???? and when re-reading this I left out a word, it should of said ONE DAY YOU DON'T WAKE UP. I would never be that RUDE and wish this on you, I pray it never would happen to you.


You also state you are SICK of all this....Then why do you continue to read posts and post replies?? You are stressing yourself out.....take a break....from all your posts looks like you are about to POP!!

Nah, I'm fine....no stress at all. I will not stop reading and posting because SOMEBODY has to make sure parents realize that we are not all self-righteous and only out to make a buck.

You DID say you would pray for me to lose four or five families......don't try to change it now when you get called on it.....and yeah, the laughing smiley because I LOVE how Christian it sounds that you would pray for a family to suffer......

Quite frankly your opinion of me is worthless. I do not care what you think. And YES, I AM being rude now.
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Just Saying 03:16 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Nah, I'm fine....no stress at all. I will not stop reading and posting because SOMEBODY has to make sure parents realize that we are not all self-righteous and only out to make a buck.

You DID say you would pray for me to lose four or five families......don't try to change it now when you get called on it.....and yeah, the laughing smiley because I LOVE how Christian it sounds that you would pray for a family to suffer......And, NO I am not Christian....I don't believe in God.

Quite frankly your opinion of me is worthless. I do not care what you think. And YES, I AM being rude now.
Think what you want to think, I said I LEFT A WORD OUT and I DID!! But if you would like for me to pray that you loose that many children, consider it done.

You are a rude person, it shows from your posts and you also admit it. That is so sad!
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Crystal 03:29 PM 11-10-2011
Hahaha! So, because of my posts in this thread, I am a rude person. You clearly don't know me, but Okay. LOLOLOLOL.

Have a fab weekend.

Ooooh, was that childish?
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Blackcat31 03:30 PM 11-10-2011
Ok ladies.....I think we have taken a sudden turn off course.

Let's all play nice or leave the sandbox shall we?
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Country Kids 03:47 PM 11-10-2011
OK wheres the dad of this forum, I mean Michael. This is sounding kinda scary-people starting to be pretty mean!

I believe free speech but not where people don't wake up!!!! I think its time for an adult to step in-wait we are adults but maybe one with some authority here.
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Unregistered 03:53 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
You REALLY make alot of assumptions about parents. I see it from you all the time. Why is it that you are so jaded when it comes to parents....you seem to think they are ALL out to get us?

THIS is the type of thing I am SICK of. From EVERY provider who does this on a regualr basis. It is disgusting.
I am lucky I have great parents/families. It has not always been that way. I have worked with parents that complaining/venting about them is the only avenue we have as providers. Until you have been down that road, its hard to understand. Daycare is often a thankless job when it comes to parents- not always, but often.

I am a foster parent, and if you want to hear of some horror stories about parents......try being a foster parent. You are even more helpless to clueless parents, and they have all the rights over people that have common sense and a caring heart for these kiddo's and our country allows it!!! They can screw up repeatedly and we will give them more and more. Our country would rather put a child back with the parent that has no brains, hand them out money, shelter, medical, food and all the needs that struggling working common sense everyday people struggle to make ends meet. These parents look at these children as a pay check. Oh and we will even throw in free schooling and everything you need for school too- gosh your better off being in poverty then trying to make a living these days and if you have more kids you will get more, and more time to sit on your A$$ and do nothing. If you need a cell phone we will give you one of those with endless minutes too. Never mind giving these kids a chance with peeps that will love, help them grow into productive loving caring people. Sorry to rant on but you struck a nerve.

Don't begrudge us providers for coming here and venting. I read of a lot of great parent's and families too here. We deal with these parents on a regular basis, it tends to eat at you after a while. I learn from all of you on how to deal with situations should they arise.

IF you can't say something nice........thump thump......well than just don't say anything at all. Sometimes things need to be said! All we can do is try and be nice about it.
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Crystal 03:59 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ok ladies.....I think we have taken a sudden turn off course.

Let's all play nice or leave the sandbox shall we?
You got it
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Doodlebug 06:03 PM 11-10-2011
I was a conference where Tom Copeland was a presenter and he made a wonderful suggestion that I am going to try to implement. That their two weeks final payment up front. Some parents would freak out and way they can't afford it but he actually suggested that you can just add an amount on each week so it isn't as "painful" for them. Then if they don't give you a full two weeks notice or just walk out on you, its already paid. For those that actually give you the two weeks notice, they feel like they are getting two weeks free.
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nannyde 06:15 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by Doodlebug:
I was a conference where Tom Copeland was a presenter and he made a wonderful suggestion that I am going to try to implement. That their two weeks final payment up front. Some parents would freak out and way they can't afford it but he actually suggested that you can just add an amount on each week so it isn't as "painful" for them. Then if they don't give you a full two weeks notice or just walk out on you, its already paid. For those that actually give you the two weeks notice, they feel like they are getting two weeks free.
I think it's a better idea to take the two weeks deposit and require a calander month notice. That way you have two weeks in the bank and get two more paydays before the child leaves care. Require notice to be given ONLY on a working Friday and in writing. That way you will know each Friday that if you haven't received notice you have at least one month before a child will depart care.

Two weeks notice is rediculous in this economy. I don't know who invented the idea that two weeks was reasonable but it isn't. If you take your time and properly interview families to get the "right fit" you need a few weeks to complete the process.

Can you imagine how the housing rental businesses would do with only two weeks notice? There's always the complaint that child care costs as much as housing but there's no connection to the idea that because it IS such an important service that the owner/providers need TIME to "fill the space". There's a reason why landlords want a months notice given on the first of the month. We deserve that kind of notice too.

The incoming families will appreciate your efforts in taking time to interview them and the outgoing family will need to be organized, upfront, and careful to be respectful during that time. Use the two week deposit for the LAST two weeks of care or vacation/holiday pay that is owed.
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daycare 06:34 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think it's a better idea to take the two weeks deposit and require a calander month notice. That way you have two weeks in the bank and get two more paydays before the child leaves care. Require notice to be given ONLY on a working Friday and in writing. That way you will know each Friday that if you haven't received notice you have at least one month before a child will depart care.

Two weeks notice is rediculous in this economy. I don't know who invented the idea that two weeks was reasonable but it isn't. If you take your time and properly interview families to get the "right fit" you need a few weeks to complete the process.

Can you imagine how the housing rental businesses would do with only two weeks notice? There's always the complaint that child care costs as much as housing but there's no connection to the idea that because it IS such an important service that the owner/providers need TIME to "fill the space". There's a reason why landlords want a months notice given on the first of the month. We deserve that kind of notice too.

The incoming families will appreciate your efforts in taking time to interview them and the outgoing family will need to be organized, upfront, and careful to be respectful during that time. Use the two week deposit for the LAST two weeks of care or vacation/holiday pay that is owed.
I require two weeks deposit for all families. I require 30 days notice for full time spots and 2 weeks for part time spots...

Gotta agree with ya Nan...it is just as important as where you live your life as where you leave your child. the two most important things in your life.....
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wdmmom 07:44 PM 11-10-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I require two weeks deposit for all families. I require 30 days notice for full time spots and 2 weeks for part time spots...

Gotta agree with ya Nan...it is just as important as where you live your life as where you leave your child. the two most important things in your life.....
4 weeks notice here! And, to terminate, you must do so in writing on the last day and submit to daycare on your child's last day of attendance for the week. (Typically Fridays, but not always.)

Payment is due up front at the time you submit your termination papers. If no deposit is on file, you owe 4 weeks.
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Unregistered 04:29 AM 11-11-2011
I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.
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small_steps 06:06 AM 11-11-2011
I would go ahead and advertise if I were you. He verbally gave you a notice and so you have every reason to believe that the child will be leaving. You have to look out for yourself here too. My daycare is my only source of income so I consider it looking out for my children as well as myself and that is not selfish at all.
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Blackcat31 06:31 AM 11-11-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.
Nice to see you back

I have been through this sort of thing before and I suggest that you tell dad right now that you will NOT become part of their custody dispute. You are the kids child care provider and have NOTHING to offer him in court accept to state the facts pertaining to the kid and the kids ONLY. You are not required to become involved in anything other than what directly affects your care to the kids and the kids themselves.

I have had parents want me to testify in court saying they were a good or bad parent or say something against the other parent and that is just not okay with me. Too many times parents think you as the provider are willing to step forward and say "Yeah, mom (or dad) is a bad parent or doesn't do this or that...etc etc.". In reality anything other than how well they stick to your contract and the condition of the children at drop off are the only things you know as facts. Anything else you know is purely hearsay and only something that one parent told you. Unless you observed anything else, you really have nothing to testify about. Even whether or not the parent pays on time or foolows your policies is really not that relavant to what type of parent they are.

I hate when parents try to put the provider in the middle of this kind of thing. I understand that we do build a close relationship with the children and families but we are in no position to testify in these types of situations. I am sure there are a few situations that do require us to get involved such as abuse and neglect but even then, those are things we would have actually had first hand account of and not just heard it through the grapevine, girlfriend, boyfriend or disgruntled divorcing parents.

Hang in there....
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Springdaze 06:34 AM 11-11-2011
That happened to me, too. I knew the kid was leaving in sept because i told the parents i couldnt hold a full day spot just for their kid in half day kindy and when there was no school. In June the kid said something about the new daycare, ok in sept. then the mom asked me if she could change hours and I said yes but couldnt give her a big discount because the kid would still take up a full time slot. she said that she would see what else she could do. then she said the kid was going on vaca for a week. I said at the end of that week to bring bathing suit when she comes back and was told she was going to spend the rest of the summer at her uncles house! thanks to facebook I knew that wasnt true. she owed for the vaca week and 2 weeks notice and I never heard from them again!

Dont take any of it personal because they go where the money is best! I couldnt give her a deal, so she left! and this is a lady who would make special trips to pay me and had my daughter over for sleep overs, and even did a lice treatment on my daughter when I found one bug in her hair. Friendship only lasts when it works when it works for them!
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Unregistered 06:49 AM 11-11-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.
you do need thicker skin, and to be direct not all over the place. Set up your rules and then stick with them and make them basic and to the point.

It sounds like the parents stuck you in the middle of their drama. Get out of it. Be direct and tell them you want to know why they are leaving you. Did you do something wrong? Speak with both of them- don't play sides. Wish them well...... and start looking for another child to replace. It is hard not to get personal with these kids and familys, because your right we take care of them and bond with them etc...but just don't do it! Don't take it personal. look at it as one door is closing and another opening and learn and move on. Get your rates up there at the level of everyone else, your worth it, and you under cut yourself and make it hard for providers to get what they are worth when you offer very low of rates. Kids will come, it may take longer but you will end up with families that respect you verses the ones that are just looking for the best deal. I also find that burn out happens to providers that offer low rates. Good luck- hope it all works out, just love the guy as you have and wish him the best when he leaves.

It sounds like Dad loves you-
Mom has issues- Correct? Jump out of the drama and stand up for yourself. You have a whole group of caring providers here to help you through this......take and leave the helps, do what works for you, but make sure you act as a professional, because it does effect all of us providers as a whole. Again good luck-
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countrymom 06:50 AM 11-11-2011
I would start advertising. What parents don't get is, is that we don't have people knocking on our door looking for spots. This is why we ask for notice. Its rare that any of us are doing it "because we need something to do" many of us need the income, so we need to have always have a back up plan or family. I suggest that you don't get in the middle of their custody battle, sounds like its going to get ugly.
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sharlan 06:56 AM 11-11-2011
I am glad that you finally know what is going on. It should relieve part of the stress and drama.

I would stay out of their custody battle. I did that once in my late teens and it quickly got turned back on me when the judge asked why I didn't report things to CPS. I didn't even know CPS existed. Never again.

Yes, I would start advertising.
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wdmmom 07:09 AM 11-11-2011
Verbal notice has been given. Granted you still need their written notice but start advertising today! I wouldn't even list it as a potential opening. List it as an opening starting early to mid December.

And, if it just so happens that you get some bites on the ad, start interviewing. Even if the original family comes back with a change of heart, the ball is in your court! YOU decide whether it would be more advantageous to take on one of the new ones or keep the old family.

(Personally, I don't do back and forth...once I catch wind of what's up, they are leaving whether it be by their own admission or by me enforcing it.)
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MissAnn 09:46 AM 11-11-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.
yes....advertise all over facebook. Let your parents also advertise for you! I've offered a finders fee before.....that worked for me since parents are not going to try to get Little Johny who hits and bites into the daycare. Let the leaving parents see that you and not going to lie down and die.....you are going to advertise aggressively and life moves on. Glad you are staying. I felt "lynched" in a post before and it did hurt my feelings. Some posters can be a little aggressive sometimes....but just weed through those. I didn't really keep up with this post.....but I'm just sad when someone wants to leave when this is such an awesome forum of sharing ideas.
Reply
mismatchedsocks 09:58 AM 11-11-2011
I would advertise, and if you are worried about the dcm seeing it, block her from seeing the post, but she did give you a last day, so that is the go ahead. Good luck!
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Christian Mother 12:27 PM 11-11-2011
Yea!! So glad you decided to stay with us!!

Def. advertise!! FB, Friends, Family, CL, Care.com, Flyers,!!
Advertise aggressively just as the other post specified. Don't worry for this mother as she isn't worried for you. You received a verbal so I would take that and let them know you've excepted that as a verbal however; you can always draw up your own term letter with that specific date and have them sign it there if they stall. If they get up set just say I've taken the liberty of drawing up it for you all as I know you all busy this time of yr. LOL!!

As far as the father asking for you to keep tabs on dcm..Blackcat31 gave you WONDERFUL infor. on how to handle that and I would even write it out word for word and hand it to him so that he has it in writing you will not participate. You can verbally tell him that as well. Your interest is always just for the children that is all your obligated to do unless there was ever any signs of abuse or neglect. Do not fall for the game of playing between disgruntled parents. You don't need to be placed in the middle.

I am soooo happy you've decided to come back to the board...it's addicting right?!!
Reply
Crystal 02:46 PM 11-11-2011
I would definitley start advertising. It has been discussed and you have a final date. Good luck, I hope you fill your spaces quickly.
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jen 06:22 PM 11-11-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
You REALLY make alot of assumptions about parents. I see it from you all the time. Why is it that you are so jaded when it comes to parents....you seem to think they are ALL out to get us?

THIS is the type of thing I am SICK of. From EVERY provider who does this on a regualr basis. It is disgusting.
Blah, blah, blah....
Reply
Texasjeepgirl 07:48 PM 11-11-2011
Wow... I don't log on often enough.. I suppose...
I have tried to read this all the way through.. I mostly read everything the first page.. and.. I mostly read everything the second page...
after that.. I basically faded out...
too much stress for me this FRIDAY night that I'm sitting alone .. bored.. and reading.. lol..

but.. in the end..
I guess I feel the OVERWHELMING NEED to throw in my 2 cents worth...That's probably all it will be worth to ANYONE..

I've been in daycare over 19 years now...
so.. I actually HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME...
very similar situation..
and.. honestly.. it's been so many years ago..
I can't remember it now..

Here's my CURRENT OPINION..
First of all..
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.. don't they?
so...with that said..
Honestly.. I WOULD NEVER have approached a parent regarding this issue..if I'd been told by a child..
I just would NOT DO IT...
I'd have kept my mouth SHUT.. period.. end of discussion..
Now.. I'm ALL ABOUT open communication between child care provider.. and client...
I am..
I say it in my PARENT HANDBOOK..
BUT.. IF one of my kids had told me that..
I would NOT have asked the parent..
why..?
I don't know. I guess I agree with several of the providers on here..
it COULD HAVE BEEN that they were looking for evening care..
it could have been that they were looking for care when she was on vacation the following week..
OR.. YES... it could have been that they were thinking of moving their child..
but.. I honestly still would not have mentioned it to them..
if they want to shop other providers..
either because of fee..
or location...or hours of operations.. or alternate services that might be provided elsewhere... then.. let them shop ..
if they find someone they feel will meet their child care needs in a better way.. then let them give proper notice.. and move on with life..

IT HAPPENS.. all the TIME..
the great thing about daycare..
IF you provide a quality LEVEL of service... IF you have a professional attitude...
then your clients will KNOW THAT...and RESPECT THAT...
and if they decide to move on...
then let them MOVE ON..
There are always more children..
Hello.. what is it now.. 7 billion people on the planet now..
hello..
child care providers..
JOB SECURITY..
people keep having KIDS..

Now.. as for the protecting your income..
you need to stop what you are doing.. and you need to RE TYPE YOUR PARENT HANDBOOK..
I'm NOT going to tell you WHAT TO DO..BUT... I will say this..
for over 15 years I had it in my PARENT HANDBOOK that parents were REQUIRED to give 2 weeks ADVANCE WRITTEN NOTICE of withdrawel of their child.. AND.. payment was due for those 2 weeks..
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I was burned... people call on Sunday evening and just say.. we decided to let grandma keep the kids.. to save us money.. or.. we chose another provider.. better location.. or whatever..
OR,.... plenty of them that just never showed up again..
well..
I ended that..
I charge a 2 week deposit..
I do allow them to PAY IT OUT.. if they need to.. but.. once it's paid.. it's on record..as a credit.. until they give proper notice...
if they give proper WRITTEN NOTICE..then.. last 2 weeks of care are paid..
if they don't.. they forfeit deposit..
I've had it happen both ways.. .. believe it or not..
If you have a Parent Handbook that is well thought out.. and protects you.. the provider.. then.. you wouldn't need to worry about whether they are planning to leave or not..
so they leave..
let them give notice..
and leave..
but..
there is ONE THING every single provider needs to remember..
NO ONE is EVER going to treat you professionally.. until you have a professional contract/handbook.. and.. until you conduct yourself as a professional.. and to ambush a parent... and third degree them about whether they are LEAVING YOUR CARE...because you had 4 year old JOHNNY tell you that he went to VISIT his new daycare..
well
sorry... but
NOT PROFESSIONAL..
NOT AT ALL..
period..

sorry if I stepped on any toes..
just MY OPINION.. that's all..
I spent 19 years arriving at the PARENT HANDBOOK I currently use..
Will it suit everyone?
No.. but.. it suits me.. and.. after 19 years of this business.. I JUST NOW feel like I'm DOING IT RIGHT.. I am able to provide quality care.. love the kids.. enjoy our days together.. AND protect my business with good policies and clear communication about those policies from DAY 1 ...


www.tammyschildcare.com
Reply
Crystal 09:07 AM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
Blah, blah, blah....

Reply
KAWISTA9 08:48 PM 11-12-2011
I just feel that she has been doing it all wrong. You low balled yourself and then because your contract did not protect your two weeks deposit for a week that none of your children are paying for, you change your contract in the middle of it because of what the little boy said. UNPROFESSIONAL...UNDERHANDED...WRONG! Protect your income and your professionalism by letting it go and starting fresh and correct with somone else. That is unfair and they didn't give two weeks notice at the time that you thought anyway...I hope that you get paid when they do, but I think it was wrong to try to get payment for a week you were never going to get paid for. You are not a bad person and are charging too low of a rate, but YOU DID IT. Deal with it...learn from it and do better. Always keep your integrity! We have to suck so many things up and I am dealing with that right now. I am losing out on money because I was allowing a mother to be late with her payments and I finally had to terminate her. I am not going to force her to pay me the money that I owe because I allowed this to happen, I was wrong, and I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. You bent over backwards for them because of your love and kindheartedness...stay loyal to what you do. God allowed this to happen to teach you to develop this backbone and make necessary changes...
Reply
Lucy 11:25 PM 11-12-2011
Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:
Wow... I don't log on often enough.. I suppose...
I have tried to read this all the way through.. I mostly read everything the first page.. and.. I mostly read everything the second page...
after that.. I basically faded out...
too much stress for me this FRIDAY night that I'm sitting alone .. bored.. and reading.. lol..

but.. in the end..
I guess I feel the OVERWHELMING NEED to throw in my 2 cents worth...That's probably all it will be worth to ANYONE..

I've been in daycare over 19 years now...
so.. I actually HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME...
very similar situation..
and.. honestly.. it's been so many years ago..
I can't remember it now..

Here's my CURRENT OPINION..
First of all..
KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.. don't they?
so...with that said..
Honestly.. I WOULD NEVER have approached a parent regarding this issue..if I'd been told by a child..
I just would NOT DO IT...
I'd have kept my mouth SHUT.. period.. end of discussion..
Now.. I'm ALL ABOUT open communication between child care provider.. and client...
I am..
I say it in my PARENT HANDBOOK..
BUT.. IF one of my kids had told me that..
I would NOT have asked the parent..
why..?
I don't know. I guess I agree with several of the providers on here..
it COULD HAVE BEEN that they were looking for evening care..
it could have been that they were looking for care when she was on vacation the following week..
OR.. YES... it could have been that they were thinking of moving their child..
but.. I honestly still would not have mentioned it to them..
if they want to shop other providers..
either because of fee..
or location...or hours of operations.. or alternate services that might be provided elsewhere... then.. let them shop ..
if they find someone they feel will meet their child care needs in a better way.. then let them give proper notice.. and move on with life..

IT HAPPENS.. all the TIME..
the great thing about daycare..
IF you provide a quality LEVEL of service... IF you have a professional attitude...
then your clients will KNOW THAT...and RESPECT THAT...
and if they decide to move on...
then let them MOVE ON..
There are always more children..
Hello.. what is it now.. 7 billion people on the planet now..
hello..
child care providers..
JOB SECURITY..
people keep having KIDS..

Now.. as for the protecting your income..
you need to stop what you are doing.. and you need to RE TYPE YOUR PARENT HANDBOOK..
I'm NOT going to tell you WHAT TO DO..BUT... I will say this..
for over 15 years I had it in my PARENT HANDBOOK that parents were REQUIRED to give 2 weeks ADVANCE WRITTEN NOTICE of withdrawel of their child.. AND.. payment was due for those 2 weeks..
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I was burned... people call on Sunday evening and just say.. we decided to let grandma keep the kids.. to save us money.. or.. we chose another provider.. better location.. or whatever..
OR,.... plenty of them that just never showed up again..
well..
I ended that..
I charge a 2 week deposit..
I do allow them to PAY IT OUT.. if they need to.. but.. once it's paid.. it's on record..as a credit.. until they give proper notice...
if they give proper WRITTEN NOTICE..then.. last 2 weeks of care are paid..
if they don't.. they forfeit deposit..
I've had it happen both ways.. .. believe it or not..
If you have a Parent Handbook that is well thought out.. and protects you.. the provider.. then.. you wouldn't need to worry about whether they are planning to leave or not..
so they leave..
let them give notice..
and leave..
but..
there is ONE THING every single provider needs to remember..
NO ONE is EVER going to treat you professionally.. until you have a professional contract/handbook.. and.. until you conduct yourself as a professional.. and to ambush a parent... and third degree them about whether they are LEAVING YOUR CARE...because you had 4 year old JOHNNY tell you that he went to VISIT his new daycare..
well
sorry... but
NOT PROFESSIONAL..
NOT AT ALL..
period..

sorry if I stepped on any toes..
just MY OPINION.. that's all..
I spent 19 years arriving at the PARENT HANDBOOK I currently use..
Will it suit everyone?
No.. but.. it suits me.. and.. after 19 years of this business.. I JUST NOW feel like I'm DOING IT RIGHT.. I am able to provide quality care.. love the kids.. enjoy our days together.. AND protect my business with good policies and clear communication about those policies from DAY 1 ...


www.tammyschildcare.com
Now THIS is the most level-headed thing I've read on this forum site in a long time. Amen to every word you said. I couldn't agree more.

Edit: I love your handbook!! It's so complete and covers anything and everything. I may have to steal from it, with your permission of course! Oh, btw, it's spelled sepArate, and sepAration. (Sorry, I get in trouble sometimes for correcting spelling!) And also, I noticed you didn't mention Memorial Day in your holiday list. You've really put some time into developing your handbook - I can tell. Nice job.
Reply
jen 09:02 AM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Just pointing out how rude your response was to "just sayin"...way to take ownership of your behavior though.
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mac60 09:20 AM 11-13-2011
I will be implementing this in my new revised handbook. thanks.


Originally Posted by nannyde:
I think it's a better idea to take the two weeks deposit and require a calander month notice. That way you have two weeks in the bank and get two more paydays before the child leaves care. Require notice to be given ONLY on a working Friday and in writing. That way you will know each Friday that if you haven't received notice you have at least one month before a child will depart care.

Two weeks notice is rediculous in this economy. I don't know who invented the idea that two weeks was reasonable but it isn't. If you take your time and properly interview families to get the "right fit" you need a few weeks to complete the process.

Can you imagine how the housing rental businesses would do with only two weeks notice? There's always the complaint that child care costs as much as housing but there's no connection to the idea that because it IS such an important service that the owner/providers need TIME to "fill the space". There's a reason why landlords want a months notice given on the first of the month. We deserve that kind of notice too.

The incoming families will appreciate your efforts in taking time to interview them and the outgoing family will need to be organized, upfront, and careful to be respectful during that time. Use the two week deposit for the LAST two weeks of care or vacation/holiday pay that is owed.

Reply
Country Kids 09:37 AM 11-13-2011
I also require a two week written notice for clients that are leaving and two week notice of any type of schedule change. The parents are charged for the two weeks up to the last day that care is received.

If they bail out, the next step is after the two week, file a small claims case with that amount and then any late fees they would incur.
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Texasjeepgirl 01:50 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
Now THIS is the most level-headed thing I've read on this forum site in a long time. Amen to every word you said. I couldn't agree more.

Edit: I love your handbook!! It's so complete and covers anything and everything. I may have to steal from it, with your permission of course! Oh, btw, it's spelled sepArate, and sepAration. (Sorry, I get in trouble sometimes for correcting spelling!) And also, I noticed you didn't mention Memorial Day in your holiday list. You've really put some time into developing your handbook - I can tell. Nice job.
Absolutely NO NEED to apologize for the spelling corrections.. I CAN spell.. lol. but.. sometimes.. well I'm as human as the next person.. and.. allot of times.. I type so darn fast.. I just miss it.. and WOW.. I didn't realized I left Memorial Day out of my handbook.. good eye.. it has ALWAYS been in there.. I guess I just missed it when typing it up in that website form.. I just did that last year... and HONESTLY it is the BEST thing I ever did.. for my business...
When I get a phone call for a potential client.. I speak with them briefly... try to engage them and answer a few questions.. then I ask if they have access to the internet.. .and IF SO.. I direct them to go to my website.. READ my handbook.. and.. if they are still interested in an interview after that.. they can either call back...or email to set up a time...
THIS WEEDS OUT allot of the people who don't want to follow my policies..
IF I never hear from them again.. then I know I didn't need them wasting my time with an interview...
IF they are quality parents.. and really interested in quality child care.. I hear back from them...

Anyway...THANK you for the compliments.. AND the spell check.. I appreciate it..
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Lucy 03:43 PM 11-13-2011
Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:

Anyway...THANK you for the compliments.. AND the spell check.. I appreciate it..
No problem.
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Texasjeepgirl 10:44 AM 11-14-2011
I meant to also say...you are certainly welcome to use any portion of my PARENT HANDBOOK that you feel will help you improve your own..
My parent handbook is a combination of 19 years as a Licensed Home Child Care provider, as well as bouncing ideas off of other care givers.. reading other PARENT HANDBOOKS.. From LICENSED CENTERS as well as from Home Care providers... I have a dear friend in my town.. she and I have worked together on our Handbook MANY times.. and although she doesn't use everything I have...and I don't use everything she has... we blend several things ...and come up with what will work for our own PERSONAL Daycare business.. As I stated in previous post.. if you find a spelling or punctuation error.. please.. feel free to point it out to me...

www.tammyschildcare.com
www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com

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Lucy 02:51 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:
I meant to also say...you are certainly welcome to use any portion of my PARENT HANDBOOK that you feel will help you improve your own..
My parent handbook is a combination of 19 years as a Licensed Home Child Care provider, as well as bouncing ideas off of other care givers.. reading other PARENT HANDBOOKS.. From LICENSED CENTERS as well as from Home Care providers... I have a dear friend in my town.. she and I have worked together on our Handbook MANY times.. and although she doesn't use everything I have...and I don't use everything she has... we blend several things ...and come up with what will work for our own PERSONAL Daycare business.. As I stated in previous post.. if you find a spelling or punctuation error.. please.. feel free to point it out to me...

www.tammyschildcare.com
www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com
Thanks for that. I'm right behind you with 17 years. I started out with a less than one page hand-written "agreement", which basically just stated the kid's name, birthdate, phone numbers, and the price! LOL. That was it! No rules, no nothing. I only had them pay for days they came, I had no legal way to collect if they left me owing money, etc, etc. I look back at that and cringe! I have adapted things over the years, needless to say, but I could always use more tweeking. Thanks again.
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Texasjeepgirl 04:42 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
Thanks for that. I'm right behind you with 17 years. I started out with a less than one page hand-written "agreement", which basically just stated the kid's name, birthdate, phone numbers, and the price! LOL. That was it! No rules, no nothing. I only had them pay for days they came, I had no legal way to collect if they left me owing money, etc, etc. I look back at that and cringe! I have adapted things over the years, needless to say, but I could always use more tweeking. Thanks again.
I know exactly what you're talking about....I did the EXACT SAME THING.. for years and years... I didn't charge for holidays either.. for a long time.. DUMB.. real DUMB..
I also didn't charge for vacations until 1 year ago.... which meant that in 2007 .. when I had a hysterectomy... I had my sister come from out of town.. I worked Monday.. had surgery Tuesday.. came home from hospital on Thursday.. and sent my sister home... went back to work Friday.. with the assistance of my 4 teenage daughters... (THANK GOODNESS)...
ANYWAY..I can probably use some 'tweeking' myself..so if you find something great... send me an email..

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Lucy 06:36 PM 11-14-2011
Originally Posted by Texasjeepgirl:
I know exactly what you're talking about....I did the EXACT SAME THING.. for years and years... I didn't charge for holidays either.. for a long time.. DUMB.. real DUMB..
I also didn't charge for vacations until 1 year ago.... which meant that in 2007 .. when I had a hysterectomy... I had my sister come from out of town.. I worked Monday.. had surgery Tuesday.. came home from hospital on Thursday.. and sent my sister home... went back to work Friday.. with the assistance of my 4 teenage daughters... (THANK GOODNESS)...
ANYWAY..I can probably use some 'tweeking' myself..so if you find something great... send me an email..
I know what you mean. I don't remember when it was, but at some point I was at my first aid class and we were talking on the break. This one lady talked about how she charged a "tuition". One set price, no deductions for days missed - whether it was for their sickness, vacation, etc., or mine. Paid holidays, paid days off, etc. I swear doves flew out from somewhere behind me, the wind blew my hair, and angels sang a beautiful "ahhhhhhhh". It changed everything for me. I remember thinking, "we can do that???". LOL.
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Unregistered 04:40 AM 11-15-2011
Still don't have an official notice but was told by one of the parents last night they would get it to me in less than 2 weeks. I am advertising. What if I can fill the spot before they want to be done with daycare here?

Also was told that the parents need me to review the school evaluation/report card of the child because they disagree with the responses from the teachers and since I spend the most time with little "Clark" they want me to write up my own assessment in response to the school one. I have no official training in that area. Do I really have to do this? I don't want to, I'm uncomfortable doing it and want to know what you all would say/do? This is also the family that begged me to homeschool their child. I did not have any interest in doing that and told them I couldn't devote my time to the other kids if I was homeschooling their boy.

????
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nannyde 05:30 AM 11-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Still don't have an official notice but was told by one of the parents last night they would get it to me in less than 2 weeks. I am advertising. What if I can fill the spot before they want to be done with daycare here?

Also was told that the parents need me to review the school evaluation/report card of the child because they disagree with the responses from the teachers and since I spend the most time with little "Clark" they want me to write up my own assessment in response to the school one. I have no official training in that area. Do I really have to do this? I don't want to, I'm uncomfortable doing it and want to know what you all would say/do? This is also the family that begged me to homeschool their child. I did not have any interest in doing that and told them I couldn't devote my time to the other kids if I was homeschooling their boy.

????
If you fill the slot give them two weeks notice and move on.

Regarding the school assessment. Tell them that you offer that for 100 dollars per child. Let you know if they would like you to do it. Payment needs to be in advance of services.
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Kaddidle Care 05:44 AM 11-15-2011
For sure! You should be paid for any extras above and beyond the normal routine. Take note from the banks - I think it's $10.00 per page for anything - many fees are $25.00 or better.

(And these are the people that are leaving that want all this?)

Just remember, you can say no.
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Blackcat31 06:01 AM 11-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Still don't have an official notice but was told by one of the parents last night they would get it to me in less than 2 weeks. I am advertising. What if I can fill the spot before they want to be done with daycare here?

Also was told that the parents need me to review the school evaluation/report card of the child because they disagree with the responses from the teachers and since I spend the most time with little "Clark" they want me to write up my own assessment in response to the school one. I have no official training in that area. Do I really have to do this? I don't want to, I'm uncomfortable doing it and want to know what you all would say/do? This is also the family that begged me to homeschool their child. I did not have any interest in doing that and told them I couldn't devote my time to the other kids if I was homeschooling their boy.

????
THAT^^^ (in bold) is exactly what you need to tell them. You are NOT required to do any of what they are asking.

Wonder what would happen if you said you agreed with the comments the teacher has made?
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KAWISTA9 08:59 AM 11-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Still don't have an official notice but was told by one of the parents last night they would get it to me in less than 2 weeks. I am advertising. What if I can fill the spot before they want to be done with daycare here?

Also was told that the parents need me to review the school evaluation/report card of the child because they disagree with the responses from the teachers and since I spend the most time with little "Clark" they want me to write up my own assessment in response to the school one. I have no official training in that area. Do I really have to do this? I don't want to, I'm uncomfortable doing it and want to know what you all would say/do? This is also the family that begged me to homeschool their child. I did not have any interest in doing that and told them I couldn't devote my time to the other kids if I was homeschooling their boy.

????
Do not let them take you for a ride...give them a two weeks notice...You have spot to fill!!!
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MarinaVanessa 11:46 AM 11-15-2011
Agreed. If you find another child and the other DCP hasn't given you your 2 weeks notice yet then you give them one. Just remember if you are at max capacity to tell the new client that you'll have the opening in 2 weeks, then give your other client their 2 week notice.

If you aren't at max capacity and have an extra slot then it won't be that big of an issue. You can then start the new client immediately if you wanted to and then decide whether you wanted to give your other DCF their 2 week notice or let them continue to go to your DC until they give you theirs and finish their contract. I don't know if that little bit of extra income would be worth it to you or not.

As for the written thing that they want, just tell them no if you really don't want to do it. Be honest.
"Hey Sally. About that letter you wanted from me ... well I'm just really not comfortable with doing that for you. I'm not qualified to assess a child much less since I know that children behave differently around different people. As far as I know DCC could be bahaving that way at school and not here. I can only say what goes on here.
That being said if you still really want me to write you a letter I suppose I could do that. There is a fee of $X per page and I have to be honest with you and tell you that I will be dedicating an entire paragraph in the beginning saying that I am NOT an expert or proffesionally trained or qualified to assess any child in any way shape or form and that it will only be my own personal opinion. You know ... liability, you know how it goes"

And leave it at that.
Reply
Texasjeepgirl 01:06 PM 11-15-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I know what you mean. I don't remember when it was, but at some point I was at my first aid class and we were talking on the break. This one lady talked about how she charged a "tuition". One set price, no deductions for days missed - whether it was for their sickness, vacation, etc., or mine. Paid holidays, paid days off, etc. I swear doves flew out from somewhere behind me, the wind blew my hair, and angels sang a beautiful "ahhhhhhhh". It changed everything for me. I remember thinking, "we can do that???". LOL.
I love it...
And.. Yes... 'we' CAN do that.
I had a situation almost 2 years ago... I had not one...but two clients leave ... without notice.. because of my upcoming PAID VACATION... that would be the PAID vacation that I had given all clients 6 months WRITTEN ADVANCE NOTICE OF... reminders posted on the bulletin board.. emails sent...ETC... ETC... ETC..
It was actually the 2 sisters that I've mentioned in other posts.. 4 kids all total...
Long story short.. THEIR FATHER... grandfather to the children.. Had the NERVE TO handwrite.. and MAIL ME a letter .. telling me that he had been in business for himself for many years... and that he COULD NOT BELIEVE that I had the nerve to expect to be paid for my 1 week of vacation time.
NORMALLY I would have disregarded this letter.. but... I went ahead and replied. I basically told him that
~A~ I didn't feel that his lawn mowing business was comparable to the care I had provided for his 4 grandchildren in my daycare for almost 2 years.
And ~B~
Frankly SIR.. it really does NOT MATTER if you AGREE OR DISAGREE with my PAID VACATION policy. Both of your daughters were MY CLIENTS... They were each provided with a PARENT HANDBOOK.. which they both read.. and signed that they UNDERSTOOD AND AGREED TO ALL POLICIES.. 3 full months before the new handbook took effect..
AND they were both provided with WRITTEN NOTIFICATION of my 1 week of vacation.. 6 months in advance.. with FREQUENT WRITTEN AND POSTED reminders..I also offered to all of my clients that they could add a small amount to their weekly tuition.. in order to PAY OUT the week I would be closed for vacation.. so that it wasn't a FINANCIAL BURDEN all at once.. to have to pay ME.. and an alternate caregiver all at the same time... The fact that they waited until a few weeks before the vacation to get upset/unhappy.. and remove all 4 of their children from my daycare.. with basically NO NOTICE.. was THEIR DECISION...

I've been telling my dear DAYCARE FRIEND for many YEARS.. THIS daycare is YOUR DAYCARE... if you choose to be open half days... close at 3 p.m.. .. WHATEVER... that is UP TO YOU.. and how you run your business...YOU MAKE THE RULES... IF YOU CAN FIND CLIENTS THAT like you.. like your care.. like your set up.. well enough to agree to your policies... then DO IT...

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Christian Mother 04:20 PM 11-15-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Still don't have an official notice but was told by one of the parents last night they would get it to me in less than 2 weeks. I am advertising. What if I can fill the spot before they want to be done with daycare here?

Also was told that the parents need me to review the school evaluation/report card of the child because they disagree with the responses from the teachers and since I spend the most time with little "Clark" they want me to write up my own assessment in response to the school one. I have no official training in that area. Do I really have to do this? I don't want to, I'm uncomfortable doing it and want to know what you all would say/do? This is also the family that begged me to homeschool their child. I did not have any interest in doing that and told them I couldn't devote my time to the other kids if I was homeschooling their boy.

????
Def. advertise and set up appts. If you have a serious family who wants the spot and has paid all fees and last 2 wks upfront take them. Just make sure that you uphold to your agreement and give them a 2 wks notice. I am not sure if your just able to go ahead and start the newbie or if you would need to give both 2 wks to start and to term.

As far as the family that wants you to comment on the teachers evaluation and findings. There the experts not you. You are paid to care for their child and nothing further then that. Tell them the truth...it makes you feel very uncomfortable to be put into that sort of situation. I would be curious to learn what the teachers say though...heheh
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Unregistered 09:43 AM 11-28-2011
Got the notice this a.m. A nice letter telling me how wonderful I am and how much I have taught the kid and how greatly I will be missed and what a hard decision it was.

Thank you all for listening. I have not filled the spot yet but cannot worry about it right now. Too much other stuff going on. So glad this is (almost) over.
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nannyde 02:56 PM 11-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Got the notice this a.m. A nice letter telling me how wonderful I am and how much I have taught the kid and how greatly I will be missed and what a hard decision it was.

Thank you all for listening. I have not filled the spot yet but cannot worry about it right now. Too much other stuff going on. So glad this is (almost) over.
You wouldn't happen to have some paid time off coming at the end of December would you?
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Unregistered 04:35 AM 11-29-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
You wouldn't happen to have some paid time off coming at the end of December would you?

Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do! (have some paid time off) ;-)
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nannyde 07:13 AM 11-29-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do! (have some paid time off) ;-)
Very typical reason to switch at this time of year. They either don't want to pay the paid time off or they haven't planned for it and made arrangements.

I had this happen to me ALOT in the first couple of years I did day care... people leaving right before paid time off. That's when I switched my agreement to a months notice, only to be given on a working Friday, and ACCRUED paid vacation time. If I had a client leave today they would owe me a four pay days plus eight paid days off.

When I made it so that they agreed to pay the vacation time I had earned it completely STOPPED me getting notice in December and May when I take my breaks.

It was one of my better decisions to ultimately retain clients for longer times. When they leave my house it has to be planned and unless they leave right after I have taken my paid time off... they have to come up with some serious cash to fulfill the contract.
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MarinaVanessa 08:24 AM 11-29-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Very typical reason to switch at this time of year. They either don't want to pay the paid time off or they haven't planned for it and made arrangements.
Yep, agreed. I had this happen a lot also until I changed the contract to say very similar to what Nan's policy is. I only require a 2 week's notice but it must be given on Fridays and cannot be given on a day that the DC is closed like on a holiday or vacation.

The final 2 weeks do not count during time that I am on vacation so If I am given notice a week before I go on vacation the 1st week of their final 2 weeks is that week before I go on vacation but then the 2nd week doesn't begin until after I have come back from vacation.

Also my vacation is paid regardless of whether they are leaving or not so if I have not taken my vacation yet in that calendar year then they must pay me for it if they give notice to withdraw. It's amazing how it has completely lowered my turnover rate.
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Unregistered 05:59 AM 12-09-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Got the notice this a.m. A nice letter telling me how wonderful I am and how much I have taught the kid and how greatly I will be missed and what a hard decision it was.

Thank you all for listening. I have not filled the spot yet but cannot worry about it right now. Too much other stuff going on. So glad this is (almost) over.

TGIF and thank God it's over! I don't think I've seen the last of this bizarre family but at least I won't see them on a daily basis. It's done. I got the real reason they are leaving as well. They don't like their child to be disciplined. Not in any way, shape or form. They disagree with every form of discipline possible and don't think it's fair to their little one. Little one should be able to decide everything. Good luck with that. I'll be reading about them in the paper some day I'm sure.

They told me they'd be back as they had gifts for me. I don't want gifts. I don't want to see them again. They want to come over to get their tax papers. I send them certified. They begged me not to send them as they want to come over and pick them up. NOT HAPPENING!!!!
Thanks to all of you for getting me through this.
I hope this is my last post about them.
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Zoe 09:35 AM 12-09-2011
I'm glad it's over for you and that you were able to finally find the reason for them terming. You're better off without a family who thinks little precious should dictate the rules of YOUR house. Good riddance.
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sharlan 09:39 AM 12-09-2011
I would print off their tax info and hand it to them at pick up TODAY. Then they would have no reason to ever return.

I have no idea where they will be able to place little Johnny where there is zero discipline, unless it's at home.
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greenhouse 10:28 AM 12-09-2011
That's crazy that they want to have a visit while picking up tax forms after all that! It sounds like they just want you to think of them in good terms so they can feel okay with themselves. You are well within your rights to refuse politely. End of drama and start of better things. GL
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Michael 02:19 PM 12-09-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
TGIF and thank God it's over! I don't think I've seen the last of this bizarre family but at least I won't see them on a daily basis. It's done. I got the real reason they are leaving as well. They don't like their child to be disciplined. Not in any way, shape or form. They disagree with every form of discipline possible and don't think it's fair to their little one. Little one should be able to decide everything. Good luck with that. I'll be reading about them in the paper some day I'm sure.

They told me they'd be back as they had gifts for me. I don't want gifts. I don't want to see them again. They want to come over to get their tax papers. I send them certified. They begged me not to send them as they want to come over and pick them up. NOT HAPPENING!!!!
Thanks to all of you for getting me through this.
I hope this is my last post about them.
Hmmm, this is a popular thread. Are you a member? If not, register. There are a lot more forum perks if you do.
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Unregistered 04:35 AM 12-23-2011
The dcd called last night (I just got done work and had closed my curtains) so I let it go to voice mail. He left a message saying he was going to pick up dck from new daycare and stop over with gifts! I didn't answer when they came to the door and never responded to his voice mail. I know the real reason he wants to bring gifts. It's to "kiss up" to put it politely. He is going wanting my family to testify against his ex for alleged child abuse....there is none. He is trying to get full custody and is grasping at straws to come up with anything to use against this lady. There is nothing. Craziness does not constitute abuse (in this case lol). He had asked me if I had any notes on anything from the past however many years the kid was in care, just in case. I know how he works as his kid was in my care for quite some time.

So, what now? I know he'll come back. Do I accept? I am not letting him in my house. Sorry, to vent about this but it is really bothering me. This is not what I want to worry about as I start my few days off.
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Unregistered 07:05 PM 12-29-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can't stay away from you all. I need to get thicker skin. You all can help me do that...you helped me get my backbone a little stronger so you can help me with the skin.

I should've taken some of my schooling advice and used it when starting daycare....don't let yourself get so attached to your clients...it is hard though when daycare consumes every part of your life and the children are with you 40-60 hours a week and many times (in my own experience) are with you more than their own parents. Business does become personal.

Update: I had to keep pushing dcp for what is going on. Last night I got that they start new place (home daycare) on the 12th. They will get me my payment and proper notice on the 28th (but they are taking off that day and want to use one of their vacation days that day (that they asked for a while ago). DCD says don't worry, we'll still come to visit you regularly.???WTH???? DCM posts on fb this a.m. that she is re-evaluating things in her life like what and who she wants in it and making some changes. Uh, ok. Thanks. I wanted to reply "so have your kids make them for you?) but restrained myself. So, can I advertise on facebook? Even though I don't have an official notice letter from these people? Still haven't heard from the mom.

Then DCD says I hope you have kept notes on the past several years because I will be calling you to court against DCM. What???


So, would you put something out on fb that you have some spots to fill seeing as I don't have the official notice yet?

Sorry I got derailed and depressed about all of this. Thank you for the constructive criticism and polite suggestions.
Yes, I would start advertising.

I would also be letting DCD know to NOT drag me into their drama unless the welfare of the child is at stake. I think though that if there were concerns, you would be aware of them. So.. tell DCD to keep you out of their little drama fest. (Unless of course it is found that you do have something to offer.. but for now? They need to keep their crap to themselves)

UGH. Good luck with your search.
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wdmmom 10:52 AM 01-04-2012
Nope. I wouldn't answer the phone or the door. All services are completed and final.

No more favors...no more freebies.
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Unregistered 12:10 PM 01-04-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
Nope. I wouldn't answer the phone or the door. All services are completed and final.

No more favors...no more freebies.
He's left a few voice mails and my own kids said he has driven by a few times (and no reason to be on my street as it is a dead-end). I am not returning his calls and will be avoiding like the plague. Thanks for your input!!! I am glad you agree.
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Tags:ethics, forum cycle, switching providers, two week notice, two week notice - not
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