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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do What Is Good for The Child!!!!
MissAnn 07:43 AM 01-16-2016
I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
Annalee 08:23 AM 01-16-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
I hope this works out for the best but it could backfire because she may now feel she can keep asking for special favors?I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
mommyneedsadayoff 08:42 AM 01-16-2016
It is too bad when parents do that kind of stuff
I am glad the child has you in his corner, but just be careful about letting a parent bully you into lowering their fees. It can be hard to stay out of it (those kids can sure pull at our heartstrings
), but it is not your job to compromise your income because his mother is too immature to look past her own selfish needs.
I am glad the child has you in his corner, but just be careful about letting a parent bully you into lowering their fees. It can be hard to stay out of it (those kids can sure pull at our heartstrings), but it is not your job to compromise your income because his mother is too immature to look past her own selfish needs.
Josiegirl 09:26 AM 01-16-2016
The games people play and using their child/ren as pawns is despicable.
What you did was really kind and I'm glad the little guy gets to stay somewhere he knows and is loved, especially during this time of upheaval in his life. Lord knows he's going through enough change and confusion.
What you did was really kind and I'm glad the little guy gets to stay somewhere he knows and is loved, especially during this time of upheaval in his life. Lord knows he's going through enough change and confusion.
Laurel 05:37 PM 01-16-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
As long as you can afford it I think it's fine. I would think of it as giving a charitable donation to someone you know. I'd rather see where my charity is going rather than making a donation to a big name charity that may not be reputable (not that some aren't).I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
Poor kid BUT I've noticed that as time goes on some parents get better about acting in the best interest of the child. Hopefully this family will be the same.
If dad can afford it, he should pay the extra $15 though. I mean it is only $15 a week. Not that he should have to but he could step up and be the hero for his child's sake.
Blackcat31 07:45 AM 01-17-2016
I admire your willingness to give up your own income for this family but in all honesty whats in the best interest of the child isnt your business and is for the parents to decide.
Your solution to reduce fees for mom is only a short term fix for this as it wont help mom/dad learn to coparent or come together for the sake of their child.
As a matter of fact I think it will do the opposite. Allowing mom to take child wherever she wants on her time and then suffering the consequences will have taught her far more than your approach.
Like I said, I admire your willingness to do what you are doing but personally I feel you are overstepping and perhaps getting into territory that will be rough going for the duration of the situation.
I genuinely hope things work out for you and for DCB.
Your solution to reduce fees for mom is only a short term fix for this as it wont help mom/dad learn to coparent or come together for the sake of their child.
As a matter of fact I think it will do the opposite. Allowing mom to take child wherever she wants on her time and then suffering the consequences will have taught her far more than your approach.
Like I said, I admire your willingness to do what you are doing but personally I feel you are overstepping and perhaps getting into territory that will be rough going for the duration of the situation.
I genuinely hope things work out for you and for DCB.
midaycare 01:21 PM 01-17-2016
I'm a stepmom who has been in the situation of watching my hubby and the ex-wife fight. Constantly. It is awful to be in the middle of that.
It may seem like dcm is a piece of work, but honestly, you just don't know until you are in the home and see everything. Dcd could be a piece of work, too.
For all you know, dcm could have a great reason for wanting to pull dck, or maybe she is flat broke. Divorce can do that to a person.
Personally, I would have let her pull. And I would have told dcd I wouldn't take dck every other week. They would have had to work together...or not.
Divorce is a stinker.
It may seem like dcm is a piece of work, but honestly, you just don't know until you are in the home and see everything. Dcd could be a piece of work, too.
For all you know, dcm could have a great reason for wanting to pull dck, or maybe she is flat broke. Divorce can do that to a person.
Personally, I would have let her pull. And I would have told dcd I wouldn't take dck every other week. They would have had to work together...or not.
Divorce is a stinker.
MissAnn 06:24 PM 01-17-2016
I have no regrets. This is a business but it's also a ministry for me. In four months he will be gone, but for four months I can help him have a little bit of M-F consistency.
Ariana 08:20 AM 01-18-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I have no regrets. This is a business but it's also a ministry for me. In four months he will be gone, but for four months I can help him have a little bit of M-F consistency.
I think it's great and I also reduced my rates to keep kids going through a divorce and I certainly don't regret it. I will say however that this dad needs to stop rolling over and playing dead. The dad can go to his mediator or his lawyer and ask that the schedule remains the same. He has just as much of a say in parenting and he needs to remember that. Sometimes we think the mom is the bad one but the dad is doing nothing so who is worse? I fell into the trap of taking sides and in the end I realized it was the wrong thing to do because I wasn't being given the full story.I have no regrets. This is a business but it's also a ministry for me. In four months he will be gone, but for four months I can help him have a little bit of M-F consistency.
MissAnn 01:52 PM 01-18-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I think it's great and I also reduced my rates to keep kids going through a divorce and I certainly don't regret it. I will say however that this dad needs to stop rolling over and playing dead. The dad can go to his mediator or his lawyer and ask that the schedule remains the same. He has just as much of a say in parenting and he needs to remember that. Sometimes we think the mom is the bad one but the dad is doing nothing so who is worse? I fell into the trap of taking sides and in the end I realized it was the wrong thing to do because I wasn't being given the full story.
The dad is very proactive! I think he has his lawyer on speed dial. This happened all on Saturday. The mom is very impulsive and makes decisions like that. He is a coach for a high school and he was coaching a game while on the phone to his lawyer and also on the phone to me. I think it's great and I also reduced my rates to keep kids going through a divorce and I certainly don't regret it. I will say however that this dad needs to stop rolling over and playing dead. The dad can go to his mediator or his lawyer and ask that the schedule remains the same. He has just as much of a say in parenting and he needs to remember that. Sometimes we think the mom is the bad one but the dad is doing nothing so who is worse? I fell into the trap of taking sides and in the end I realized it was the wrong thing to do because I wasn't being given the full story.
The good news is the mom decided to keep him here. I'm so excited and happy to help them.
BabyMonkeys 05:42 PM 01-18-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
You can't control what anyone else does, you can only control what you do. There is no guarantee that this mom won't change her mind next week, but I think it's wonderful that you are willing to sacrifice part of your income in order to give this little boy just a tiny bit of security. I am in tears right now. I have a divorced family. The dad is great and the mom is a loose cannon. The dad called this morning and said the mom wanted him to not come here on her weeks. Instead she wants to send him to a college student every other week for $60. The boy already has so much instability in his life, this would not be a good plan. The decision has nothing to do with my program. She has no complaints about my quality… It's just that she wants to be a bully with the dad and get her way because he is the one that wanted him to come here. After the phone call I stopped and I prayed and I prayed. Five minutes later the phone rang and the dad told me the mom accepted my offer of lowering the fees by $15. This was an emergency situation and I felt like I needed to do some things for the sake of that boy. So yes, I did offer a $15 a week discount. He is only going to be coming here until May because dad is a teacher and the boy will be going to kindergarten. It just breaks my heart to see the turmoilu this mom is willing to put her child through in order to get her way and/or save a few bucks.
