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Jo123ABC 01:03 PM 01-21-2021
Do you guys ever have weird drop-off situations? I have a dcm who struggles with drop off. First, she often isn't allowed to open the door. The 3 yo must or there's a meltdown. Next, there's usually some sassing at dcm. When I try to greet them (3 and 5) the 3yo gives me the stink eye and the 5 yo remains mute and hides in a corner. Sometimes the 3 yo joins her in the corner and they block the door purposely so dcm can't get out. Then dcm tries to leave and the 5 yo gives her an embarrassing amount of pda loud smacking kisses on her face. Seriously like a solid awkward minute or 2 of the 5 yo loudly aggressively kissing dcm. Usually the 5 year old tries to knock the dcm over shoving her body into her. Dcm scolds but it happens pretty much every day anyway. The 3 yo is yelling and complaining for attention the entire time this interaction is happening. Dcm finally slips out the door and both kids yell and smooth up on the door with their byes. Sometimes, 5yo tries to open the door to follow to keep saying bye and get more kisses. It's insane! I dread drop off every single day! I don't think dcm minds all of this drama but it makes me sooo uncomfortable. I have started avoiding going within sight for half of it because I just stupidly stand there. This has been going on for 4 years since dcg 5 first started but is progressively getting worse. I'm afraid to try to stop it since dcm doesn't seem to care and it's been going on like ritual for so long. Am I the only one with this problem?
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CountryRoads 01:19 PM 01-21-2021
That would get old, fast!

And no, you're not the only one. I've got drop offs and pick ups that I dread. Like your dcm, I've got one that when she picks up, dcg4 will tell her to wait outside and not let her in. And mom says okay, and then waits outside Dcm will then say "oh, but I'm cold. Can I come in now?" Ya know, to reason with dcg. Then she'll come in and dcm will talk to me then dcg will tell her to stop talking to me, and covers dcm mouth with her hand. This same dcm will allow her other child (dcb4) to hit her. Seriously, I've seen him slap her, punch her in the face, punch her chest (not kidding), scratch her. It's ridiculous. And dcm just laughs. I have spoken up and told them to be nice to their mom. Dcm gets embarrassed, but I don't care.

I also have another dcm who will say at drop off, "okay, do you want your shoes on or off (as if it's an option?), do you want your socks on or off?", etc. Then at pick up, she'll ask "do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?" It's just so bizarre to me. Why do parents try to reason with a child? Like they are so afraid to upset them?

When I have someone dragging out drop-off, I'll typically grab the child by the hand and lead them to an activity. "okay, dck, tell mom bye!" The parent usually gets the hint and leaves.
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Blackcat31 01:27 PM 01-21-2021
Originally Posted by Jo123ABC:
Do you guys ever have weird drop-off situations? I have a dcm who struggles with drop off. First, she often isn't allowed to open the door. The 3 yo must or there's a meltdown. Next, there's usually some sassing at dcm. When I try to greet them (3 and 5) the 3yo gives me the stink eye and the 5 yo remains mute and hides in a corner. Sometimes the 3 yo joins her in the corner and they block the door purposely so dcm can't get out. Then dcm tries to leave and the 5 yo gives her an embarrassing amount of pda loud smacking kisses on her face. Seriously like a solid awkward minute or 2 of the 5 yo loudly aggressively kissing dcm. Usually the 5 year old tries to knock the dcm over shoving her body into her. Dcm scolds but it happens pretty much every day anyway. The 3 yo is yelling and complaining for attention the entire time this interaction is happening. Dcm finally slips out the door and both kids yell and smooth up on the door with their byes. Sometimes, 5yo tries to open the door to follow to keep saying bye and get more kisses. It's insane! I dread drop off every single day! I don't think dcm minds all of this drama but it makes me sooo uncomfortable. I have started avoiding going within sight for half of it because I just stupidly stand there. This has been going on for 4 years since dcg 5 first started but is progressively getting worse. I'm afraid to try to stop it since dcm doesn't seem to care and it's been going on like ritual for so long. Am I the only one with this problem?
Children are NEVER allowed to touch the door. Adults only.

ALL parents know this and follow the rule.

As for behavior.... kids that behave well at drop off get to participate in a fun activity while those that don't behave well get to do something boring.

Makes drop off so much easier.
(because we can't control the parents but we can control the kids )
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Blackcat31 01:30 PM 01-21-2021
Originally Posted by CountryRoads:

I also have another dcm who will say at drop off, "okay, do you want your shoes on or off (as if it's an option?), do you want your socks on or off?", etc. Then at pick up, she'll ask "do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?" It's just so bizarre to me. Why do parents try to reason with a child? Like they are so afraid to upset them?
If they aren't "big" kids (normally walk and talk etc on their own) then they don't get to do big kid stuff.

If they are carried in or require the parent to undress them when they are perfectly capable of doing so, then they certainly arent old enough to use big kid only toys or participate in big kid activities.

Again, because we can't control the parents but we can control the kids.

I hear kids telling their parents "Mom put me down, I don't want Miss BC to see me being carried."

Or "Mom, I can take my boots off myself. Look Miss BC I am a big kid"
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Jo123ABC 02:23 PM 01-21-2021
Originally Posted by CountryRoads:
That would get old, fast!

And no, you're not the only one. I've got drop offs and pick ups that I dread. Like your dcm, I've got one that when she picks up, dcg4 will tell her to wait outside and not let her in. And mom says okay, and then waits outside Dcm will then say "oh, but I'm cold. Can I come in now?" Ya know, to reason with dcg. Then she'll come in and dcm will talk to me then dcg will tell her to stop talking to me, and covers dcm mouth with her hand. This same dcm will allow her other child (dcb4) to hit her. Seriously, I've seen him slap her, punch her in the face, punch her chest (not kidding), scratch her. It's ridiculous. And dcm just laughs. I have spoken up and told them to be nice to their mom. Dcm gets embarrassed, but I don't care.

I also have another dcm who will say at drop off, "okay, do you want your shoes on or off (as if it's an option?), do you want your socks on or off?", etc. Then at pick up, she'll ask "do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?" It's just so bizarre to me. Why do parents try to reason with a child? Like they are so afraid to upset them?

When I have someone dragging out drop-off, I'll typically grab the child by the hand and lead them to an activity. "okay, dck, tell mom bye!" The parent usually gets the hint and leaves.
I'd like to do the hand thing but what if they resist and throw a fit?! Then it'll be a whole new can of worms.
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Tags:bye bye outside, changing of the guard
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