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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Cop Caller!
KristinsHomeCC 08:09 AM 02-19-2016
Rewind to New Years eve night, we were having a small fire in the backyard with some friends and their kids. My son is 2 and he was starting to get tired and be a cranky pants around 9. He fell outside running around and started crying. Cops show up at our house 10 mins later. My fiancé opens the door with our son in hand. "Sir, we don't mean to bother you but we got a call about a crying child that sounded like it was in danger" . . . . What???? Crying...yes, thats what kids do. In danger? I was livid. I run a home child care out of my home, the last thing I need is reports of children sounding "in danger" at my address. The officer obviously saw my son was just fine as he was all smiles at this point. They left, no big deal.

Then, we got a letter in the mail sometime last month from our "backdoor neighbor" asking if we could keep our lights off in the back because it's keeping them awake. No name..just: Sincerely, your backdoor neighbor. Keep in mind, we've been here for 3 years. She has also been here for as long as we have, if not longer. Ive never met this woman but know she is older and obviously bored with her life. We live in a rural area and each have big backyards and a fence between our houses. Its not like its close.

Forward to yesterday. The DCK I've previously posted about not being happy here, always crying etc. Was playing in backyard when he got in a quarrel with my son about a toy. I took it away from both of them. My son moved on, of course DCK had to put on the show. It was over within a minute and we continued on to go inside and get ready for nap. I hear a noise out front and see two police cars. They were walking behind my house to look into the backyard. I opened the door and they said they had a report of crying kids. I opened the door to my living room with 5 children all whining for naptime and said yep, I run a home daycare. Its the norm around here!

What is with this woman!?! She's making me paranoid to even go outside today with the fear that I'll have to deal with the cops again. Fiancé says theyll catch on and realize she keeps calling over nonsense.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
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Play Care 08:23 AM 02-19-2016
That's awful!

I almost wonder if taking a cookie tray (store bought) to the station with a thank you note, and introducing yourself to the officers "hi I'm Sue, I do child care and the kids and I wanted to send in a "thank you" to the local police officers" would also help. I wouldn't mention the neighbor at all.

Then when they show up again, you may even be on a first name basis with them. "Hey kids, it's officer O'Brien! Can you say hello?"
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lovemykidstoo 08:34 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
That's awful!

I almost wonder if taking a cookie tray (store bought) to the station with a thank you note, and introducing yourself to the officers "hi I'm Sue, I do child care and the kids and I wanted to send in a "thank you" to the local police officers" would also help. I wouldn't mention the neighbor at all.

Then when they show up again, you may even be on a first name basis with them. "Hey kids, it's officer O'Brien! Can you say hello?"

Great idea!

Boy what a busy body neighbor. UGH

Our local police department will come out and talk with the kids about safety and stranger danger etc. There is an officer that works in community relations that will come out and talk with the kids, gives them stickers, shows them the police car etc. They don't charge here for that, but they do welcome a donation for their different community events such as carseat safety checks, bike safety, helmet events. That's a great way to educate the children and get the officer to know you and see where you live.
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childcaremom 08:38 AM 02-19-2016
I like the suggestions above but I would even do it for the neighbour. Maybe even have the dcks make her a card. Get to know her and all that.

Sorry you are dealing with that. That makes for an uncomfortable situation. I have gotten to know all of my neighbours and they all know I do daycare so understand that when crying happens, I am not neglecting a child, there just happens to be a lot of them here.
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KristinsHomeCC 08:51 AM 02-19-2016
All EXCELLENT ideas! I love this forum! Thank you all so much. I can't help but to be bitter about it. Its my house..I feel like I'm being watched now or something LOL. Oh don't laugh too loud, we may have the cops called
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MarinaVanessa 08:55 AM 02-19-2016
Oh jeez ... you have one of THOSE neighbors .

I'd go kinda off of what Play Care says and just be nice to the officers. I'd invite them in the house the next time they show up :Hello Officers. Good morning. My neighbor called you guys again I see. Come on in, take a look around"

I'd look on the bright side and turn it into a special guest speaker day
"Look kids! We have special visitors today! They're here to check on us to make sure that we're all safe. Can you tell me what jobs a police officer has ..."

And tell the officers that your neighbor is old, grainy and sour and you don't even know her very well but that she has been calling more and more often over silly things like children crying and you think that the kids playing bothers her so she calls the police. Maybe ask the officers to do you a favor and stop by HER house and ask her if she needs help closing her windows .

If you plan a day where you're going to do some really special activity outside where the kids might get a bit loud for extended periods of time that day then just call the non-emergency number and let them know ...
"Hi, this is Kristen from Kristen's Home Child Care over on [----] road. I do daycare in my home and we're getting ready to have a summer sprinkler day outside and I have a neighbor that likes to call the police when we're outside. Just letting you know to expect a call from her today. The kids are probably going to be extra excited today. Feel free to send someone over to check in if she calls, we'll be around back if I don't answer the front door. We'll have popsicles so lucky them to whoever responds to the call. Make sure to tell them to bring stickers"
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rosieteddy 08:57 AM 02-19-2016
It is ridiculous that she is calling the cops .I second the idea of going for a walk and meeting her with the kids. It sometimes is hard for others to understand that a young group of children is noisy.I did not allow "play screaming".The crying is harder some kids just fuss a lot.We get used to it. Good Luck .
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Play Care 09:35 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Oh jeez ... you have one of THOSE neighbors .

I'd go kinda off of what Play Care says and just be nice to the officers. I'd invite them in the house the next time they show up :Hello Officers. Good morning. My neighbor called you guys again I see. Come on in, take a look around"

I'd look on the bright side and turn it into a special guest speaker day
"Look kids! We have special visitors today! They're here to check on us to make sure that we're all safe. Can you tell me what jobs a police officer has ..."

And tell the officers that your neighbor is old, grainy and sour and you don't even know her very well but that she has been calling more and more often over silly things like children crying and you think that the kids playing bothers her so she calls the police. Maybe ask the officers to do you a favor and stop by HER house and ask her if she needs help closing her windows .

If you plan a day where you're going to do some really special activity outside where the kids might get a bit loud for extended periods of time that day then just call the non-emergency number and let them know ...
"Hi, this is Kristen from Kristen's Home Child Care over on [----] road. I do daycare in my home and we're getting ready to have a summer sprinkler day outside and I have a neighbor that likes to call the police when we're outside. Just letting you know to expect a call from her today. The kids are probably going to be extra excited today. Feel free to send someone over to check in if she calls, we'll be around back if I don't answer the front door. We'll have popsicles so lucky them to whoever responds to the call. Make sure to tell them to bring stickers"
Perfect!!
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Unregistered 09:44 AM 02-19-2016
Fun ideas!
My childcare is on a city lot, so neighbors are close. If my kids scream outside I tell them the neighbors will worry about them if they hear screaming.
We don't want the neighbors to worry!
They catch on quick, it's rarely an issue.

But crying!? Nah. If a kid is hurt, tired, upset, they are sometimes gonna cry.
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laundrymom 09:48 AM 02-19-2016
Excellent advice in all the answers. I especially like this one.
I dont think I'd be as accommodating.
I'd make her happy when it was JUST regular daytime kid noise.
My kids are in marching band. Trumpets and French horns. And we have a karaoke machine.
I think I'd have to have a marching band cookout every weekend. Instruments welcome. With singing as a fun side activity.


Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Oh jeez ... you have one of THOSE neighbors .

I'd go kinda off of what Play Care says and just be nice to the officers. I'd invite them in the house the next time they show up :Hello Officers. Good morning. My neighbor called you guys again I see. Come on in, take a look around"

I'd look on the bright side and turn it into a special guest speaker day
"Look kids! We have special visitors today! They're here to check on us to make sure that we're all safe. Can you tell me what jobs a police officer has ..."

And tell the officers that your neighbor is old, grainy and sour and you don't even know her very well but that she has been calling more and more often over silly things like children crying and you think that the kids playing bothers her so she calls the police. Maybe ask the officers to do you a favor and stop by HER house and ask her if she needs help closing her windows .

If you plan a day where you're going to do some really special activity outside where the kids might get a bit loud for extended periods of time that day then just call the non-emergency number and let them know ...
"Hi, this is Kristen from Kristen's Home Child Care over on [----] road. I do daycare in my home and we're getting ready to have a summer sprinkler day outside and I have a neighbor that likes to call the police when we're outside. Just letting you know to expect a call from her today. The kids are probably going to be extra excited today. Feel free to send someone over to check in if she calls, we'll be around back if I don't answer the front door. We'll have popsicles so lucky them to whoever responds to the call. Make sure to tell them to bring stickers"

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Josiegirl 10:03 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Excellent advice in all the answers. I especially like this one.
I dont think I'd be as accommodating.
I'd make her happy when it was JUST regular daytime kid noise.
My kids are in marching band. Trumpets and French horns. And we have a karaoke machine.
I think I'd have to have a marching band cookout every weekend. Instruments welcome. With singing as a fun side activity.
You wouldn't by any chance have a music wall outside do you? Maybe you ought to think about building one. A really really big and noisy one. And if you want to borrow an overly friendly very loud barky dog, I've got one for you.
I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation, hopefully make friends with the police. But as far as getting friendly with the neighbor...doubt I could find it within myself to do that.
You have my sympathy living near someone like that.
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Annalee 10:07 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Oh jeez ... you have one of THOSE neighbors .

I'd go kinda off of what Play Care says and just be nice to the officers. I'd invite them in the house the next time they show up :Hello Officers. Good morning. My neighbor called you guys again I see. Come on in, take a look around"

I'd look on the bright side and turn it into a special guest speaker day
"Look kids! We have special visitors today! They're here to check on us to make sure that we're all safe. Can you tell me what jobs a police officer has ..."

And tell the officers that your neighbor is old, grainy and sour and you don't even know her very well but that she has been calling more and more often over silly things like children crying and you think that the kids playing bothers her so she calls the police. Maybe ask the officers to do you a favor and stop by HER house and ask her if she needs help closing her windows .

If you plan a day where you're going to do some really special activity outside where the kids might get a bit loud for extended periods of time that day then just call the non-emergency number and let them know ...
"Hi, this is Kristen from Kristen's Home Child Care over on [----] road. I do daycare in my home and we're getting ready to have a summer sprinkler day outside and I have a neighbor that likes to call the police when we're outside. Just letting you know to expect a call from her today. The kids are probably going to be extra excited today. Feel free to send someone over to check in if she calls, we'll be around back if I don't answer the front door. We'll have popsicles so lucky them to whoever responds to the call. Make sure to tell them to bring stickers"
I have a provider friend that has a neighbor like this except she calls licensing and complains. Once the provider was out mowing her yard and the neighbor called licensing telling them the kids were alone in the house When licensing came out they found two well-trained providers inside with all the kids. This has happened several times!
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Blackcat31 10:15 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
You wouldn't by any chance have a music wall outside do you? Maybe you ought to think about building one. A really really big and noisy one. And if you want to borrow an overly friendly very loud barky dog, I've got one for you.
I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation, hopefully make friends with the police. But as far as getting friendly with the neighbor...doubt I could find it within myself to do that.
You have my sympathy living near someone like that.

I feel bad for the neighbor to be truthful.

While I think there may have been a more constructive or better way of dealing with whatever she (the neighbor) thought the issue was but in a way I understand her point of view. She probably only knows to call the police if she has an issue verses trying to confront someone.

Now days, that can be a very dangerous thing to do.

I dont know, if I lived in town and my neighbor started a child care, I'd probably not be all too happy about it but knowing I couldn't really do anything about it, I would try to atleast make friends with the provider in hopes of finding a way to live side by side in harmony.

I dont live in town but my child care IS in town and I try really hard to make sure my daycare kids are respectful for the neighbor's sake. I guess to me BOTH parties have a right to expect that so I totally see both sides and try to do my part to be a good neighbor.
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laundrymom 10:18 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I have a provider friend that has a neighbor like this except she calls licensing and complains. Once the provider was out mowing her yard and the neighbor called licensing telling them the kids were alone in the house When licensing came out they found two well-trained providers inside with all the kids. This has happened several times!
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol
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Annalee 10:21 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol
That is HILARIOUS!
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lovemykidstoo 10:26 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
i had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know i had several male visitors throughout the mornings and they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol

lmao!!
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Josiegirl 10:49 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol
Oh Lawdy that is too funny!!

Yeh BC, I can understand that. But also it doesn't sound like they're an overly rowdy bunch all the time. Maybe it's as annoying to her as having 3 of the neighbors start mowing their lawns as soon as the dcks all fall asleep during the summer is to me.
If I didn't operate a dc and had to tolerate one next door, I'd probably feel differently. But kids do get loud, dramatic and cry. I'll need to remind mine more often to be more respectful too. I'm sure there are times the neighbors are glad to see us come back inside. If they get too crazy I tell them to quiet down because some of the neighbors might be napping.
Thanks for the reminder BC.
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Thriftylady 10:57 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol
ROFL at "clients" I bet she about rolled over!
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Play Care 10:58 AM 02-19-2016
Good point, BC!

I went by the OP's story that is was occasional/rare crying.
And it may very well be. But I do try to be a good neighbor and keep loud noises to a minimum. I've also planted some large shrubs/trees on my one property line with my nearest neighbors to help block sound and give both of us more privacy. There definitely has to be consideration on both sides.
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MarinaVanessa 11:07 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol
I just sprayed coffee all over my screen ... thanks Laundry
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laundrymom 11:12 AM 02-19-2016
I'm all for respecting neighbors. Don't get me wrong. But I'm of a mindset that kids outside is as natural as birds. As long as it's between 7a and 11 p. I don't think neighbors should gripe. I've never had anyone call for a noise issue. I'm super respectful. But kid noise is just that. Kid noise. And if someone is super sensitive to it maybe they need to move out of a neighborhood where kids will yell cry laugh scream and cause a ruckus.
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Blackcat31 11:12 AM 02-19-2016
I am definitely not siding with one or the other, just trying to see both sides.

When I first opened my daycare, a neighbor (Audrey) lived next door. If my clients parked on her side of the street, she would come outside FLIPPING out! If she thought I did not attend to a crying child within 3 seconds, she would YELL crazy stuff to me from across the street. If the kids were running through the sprinkler, she would tell (yell) them to not get water on the sidewalk (public one) so that others didnt fall or get wet feet.

Basically she was just a nasty ornery angry lady.

Anyways.....fast forward a few years and I started saying things back to her (not yelling) but more in response to what I thought were ridiculous complaints about ridiculous things. After a while our tense bantering back and forth across the street led to us being friendly somehow... it was VERY gradual so I dont really know what exactly happened to change it but our relationship changed.

Audrey passed away last year. She was 94
I miss her. The kids miss her.

I wont get into details about her life or why I "think" she was initially the cranky town cryer but she had her reasons and right or wrong, they were her reasons and although things turned out positively for our neighbor relationship the one thing it taught me was there are two sides to every fence, every street and every persons perspective and before I would be willing to be as annoying as I could in retaliation, I'd try hard first to be a good neighbor or at the very least to be a tolerable one.

It's good role modeling for the kids we are caring for.

One day, they will be someone's neighbor too.
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DaveA 11:24 AM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I had a neighbor once call my husband at work and let him know I had several male visitors throughout the mornings And they seemed to start to arrive just after my husband left for work.
He thanked her for watching out for us and told her they were just my "clients" and that he'd already met them and sometimes watched while they were here.
Nosey old biddy never called him again. Lol

Now I have to clean soda off of my desk! Thanks for the laugh.
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Laurel 12:08 PM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
I like the suggestions above but I would even do it for the neighbour. Maybe even have the dcks make her a card. Get to know her and all that.

Sorry you are dealing with that. That makes for an uncomfortable situation. I have gotten to know all of my neighbours and they all know I do daycare so understand that when crying happens, I am not neglecting a child, there just happens to be a lot of them here.


I'd at least have to meet her. Something like "Hi, I live over there and wanted to introduce myself. I'm sure we get a little noisy sometimes but everything is okay, I run a home daycare." Then see how it goes from there.
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Fiddlesticks 12:10 PM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am definitely not siding with one or the other, just trying to see both sides.

When I first opened my daycare, a neighbor (Audrey) lived next door. If my clients parked on her side of the street, she would come outside FLIPPING out! If she thought I did not attend to a crying child within 3 seconds, she would YELL crazy stuff to me from across the street. If the kids were running through the sprinkler, she would tell (yell) them to not get water on the sidewalk (public one) so that others didnt fall or get wet feet.

Basically she was just a nasty ornery angry lady.

Anyways.....fast forward a few years and I started saying things back to her (not yelling) but more in response to what I thought were ridiculous complaints about ridiculous things. After a while our tense bantering back and forth across the street led to us being friendly somehow... it was VERY gradual so I dont really know what exactly happened to change it but our relationship changed.

Audrey passed away last year. She was 94
I miss her. The kids miss her.

I wont get into details about her life or why I "think" she was initially the cranky town cryer but she had her reasons and right or wrong, they were her reasons and although things turned out positively for our neighbor relationship the one thing it taught me was there are two sides to every fence, every street and every persons perspective and before I would be willing to be as annoying as I could in retaliation, I'd try hard first to be a good neighbor or at the very least to be a tolerable one.

It's good role modeling for the kids we are caring for.

One day, they will be someone's neighbor too.
I agree with this. I try to keep the crying to a minimum and I don't let the children scream outside (talk loud, yes. Ear piercing screams, no). If a child screams I jump up and act very concerned and ask them what the danger is. When the children say nothing, I say, "Oh, when someone screams other people assume they are in danger or are hurt and need help. Please don't scream here, or all of the adults around will worry you are in danger." I do this because *I* cannot handle the shrieking, but I am sure my neighbors appreciate it also. Where I used to live, some neighbor girls down the street spent nearly every minute outside shrieking at the top of their lungs, it was grating. We often said that we hoped nothing ever happened to them because no one, including their parents was ever going to figure out that they needed help.

That being said, I would be EXTREMELY annoyed if a neighbor called the police because a child was crying when he/she knows that there are children at your house everyday. It's not like she can't figure out where the noise is coming from and is worried there is an abandoned child wandering around. I would ask the police if there is anything you can do about repeated false reports of trouble. Then I would try to buddy up to her so that she would at least feel guilty for calling. Kill them with kindness.
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MunchkinWrangler 12:39 PM 02-19-2016
I would definitely try to reach out to your neighbor and let her know you run a home daycare. I would also let your neighbors know if you have any particularly noisy events that could happen just so no one is alarmed or could tell you if they might be disturbed or not and then carry on.

My neighbors all know I run a daycare especially my immediate next doors. I think it is also a good idea in the event of an emergency, people will know that there are several small children in your home during the day.
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SquirrellyMama 01:01 PM 02-19-2016
I understand everyone who is saying to be a good neighbor, and there are always two sides, but... The neighbor has called the cops twice, and sent a nasty gram. Maybe not nasty in wording, but in method of delivery.

I have neighbors with dogs that make more noise than children. I'd much prefer listening to the children.

Good luck with your crazy neighbor! I think the police will catch on that she's a nutter.

Kelly
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Ariana 06:44 PM 02-19-2016
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
I would definitely try to reach out to your neighbor and let her know you run a home daycare. I would also let your neighbors know if you have any particularly noisy events that could happen just so no one is alarmed or could tell you if they might be disturbed or not and then carry on.

My neighbors all know I run a daycare especially my immediate next doors. I think it is also a good idea in the event of an emergency, people will know that there are several small children in your home during the day.
Yes this! I also would reach out and apologize and explain the situation. The sound of a crying child can give someone a painful psychological reaction. I know I personally have a visceral response to a crying child that is very hard to ignore.

I have a fire pit in my backyard and when we bought it we told all of our neighbours, gave them out number and told them that anytime the fire is bothering them to give us a call and we will put it out. I also told them I run a home daycare and apologized in advance for "crazy kid chaos" during the day! It is just a common courtesy.
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