well I had a family terminate tonight because I refuse to let their 7 month old dd crawl around my entire living room under the feet of (2) two year olds and (2) four year olds. They will trample her. I explained that she is free to move about her playarea. It is a good size area but apparently mom feels I should make the other kids sit at the kitchen table while I let her dd crawl all over the place.

I tried to explain that the baby safety is more important to me and that I was not going to change that. I play with her she isn't just stuck in the playarea all day. I explained to her that if I had just babies her daughter age or little older children then it would be a non-issue. The one closest to her daughter age is going to be 2 in April. They don't pay attention to where they are walking and if my hoss of a new phew accidently fell on her he could seriously hurt her as she is a very small 7 month old. Mom is also convinced that Im causing her a developmental delay because of me putting her on the floor to play in her own area. The area is the size of two PNP together. Mom thinks she needs her freedom.
I'm not sad to see them go because I was having to deal with the crying all day unless I held her or direct in her view. I was having to pack up 5 kids to take her brother to the bus stop so that was a pain.
During our conversation I finally just asked her if she was planning on terminating or because I needed to plan of it. She said she didn't know. Well after thinking about it for an hour I knew I would always feel like I was doing something wrong. I picked up my phone to call her and let her know January 30 would be her last day because I was not going to put her wishes above her child safety. Then I get a text message that
"Hey we are going to go ahead and pull kids. Sorry we want her to be able to have more freedom and not be upset all the time. Effective tomorrow. Thank you for all you've done for kids since August. We really do appreciate it."
I still wonder if I did something wrong. She is the same one that was on my FB page and who got upset over Chistmas that I was watching my nephew.

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It really sounds as if this wasn't a good fit all around.

Are they planning on paying their two week notice?

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That issue alone wouldn't have been enough; I would have found a compromise but I remember when she questioned you for having your nephew. That would have kind of ticked me off.

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I would chalk it up to not being a good fit and be done. Just make sure you get paid for your termination notice period

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It sounds like she is the one who wanted to feel like she made the decision to terminate care . You did nothing wrong , they would be upset if their child was getting stepped on and they are upset that you are trying to keep her safe . It is a no win situation.

I would let them know that they still are responsible for the fees for the term notice ( if you have one that is).

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I doubt they will pay it. She is sending her husband to pick up baby stuff today because he is bringing their son to the bus stop here. I am actually excited to not have to go down to the bus stop anymore.

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Yep she still brought that up after we came back from break about me having him. Her not having the freedom was the only excuse she could use and that I refused to budge on it. Under state regulation no walkers must be protected from walkers. If I allowed her to crawl and my 35lb nephew who will be 2 in March fell on her head/neck stomach or anywhere else then she could get seriously injured. Not a risk I'm willing to take with any child. I used this same system with every infant I have had in the last 4-years until they started walking.

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I really think it wasn't a good fit like you said. Safety is not something I am willing to compromise on. I had a friend that did daycare and she ended up going to prision for a year and has 10-years probation because a child got injured in her care and she didn't notice any marks so she didn't say anything to parents thinking all is ok. Turns out the boy was injured more than she knew and almost died of internal injuries. I'm not willing to take that chance.

I doubt they will pay the notice. If I take her to court it will just drain my account which is already stretched with my husband not being able to find a job yet.

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She definately wanted to be the one to terminate, which to me is perfectly fine. She told me she understood that I don't have a huge room and that she too has to gate off to keep her three 80lb dogs away while she is crawling around. Ok a dog and two toddlers are totally different. She tried to say that her dd not having the freedom to crawl around is what is making her upset and not the reflux and that her being upset is the reason for the puking after a bottle. Ummm not the case. She actually plays happily in her area it is when I won't pick her up and hold her that she has an issue. Oh well right. What is done is done. I just can't believe that someone would terminate over a provider trying to keep their infant safe. I was going to print off invoice and hand it to dad.
I wanted everything in writing as to why they terminated so I made sure to print text messages so that way they can't come back and say that they felt she was mistreated or in an unsafe environment.

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Did you remind her of what is owed when she terminated? If not, I'd do so right away. Sounds like they won't be planning on paying as is- I'd send a message saying, "we will surely miss DCKs! Just a reminder my contracted termination notice is x weeks. You can chose to not utilize those weeks but the amount owed would still be $x. If today is his last day, please ensure that payment is made at drop-off (or pick-up of it is too late). Thank you, and we wish you the best in the future! Sincerely, DCP" Then if they refuse I'd send something stating your contracted (hopefully) plan to send to collections or small claims court, and that any fees accrued would be their responsibility. I have had to do that twice, and both times the parents paid within 24 hours of seeing that I meant business and had a solid contract to hold them to their termination fees. I always would cut and paste the exact wording from my contract as well, so they could see what I had signed from them!

Hope it all turns out well and ends up being drama free!!!

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I pulled up the contract they signed and apparently I didn't add in there about the fee just that there is to be a 4-week written termination notice. I didn't put in there that they would have to pay for the notice. I know it is in the other clients contract. I'm not sure how it's not in this one. I'm thankful that I have another child already signed up (signed contract Saturday) and its in that contract too. Now I did email them their contract so I wonder if that part was deleted and I didn't catch it. I'm actually rather happy not having a screaming 7-month old but upset at how mom did it and then the fact that we know a lot of the same people

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A tip I got from here - act like *nothing* happened. Be happy to see them, ask about baby, etc. Just as you would have before. If they make a snide comment about how much better their new care is, be overly gracious "I'm so glad to hear that! I only want the best for the kiddos!" Not only will you look more professional, but the added bonus is they will look and feel like tools.

If asked from others about why (mostly no one ever does, but just in case) be overly gracious "Oh they were a wonderful family but needed more of an infant care provider. We loved the baby!" using your sincerest tone. And then change the subject. "Hey did you watch the Bachelor last night?!"

Good Luck!!

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Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If you have a client that requires a dangerous practice you have to walk away.

Not only is it dangerous but the amount of one to one supervision to facilitate free range of an infant is very costly. I couldn't afford to keep her safe.

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I agree.

I’d also like to add you did what was right for you and your business.

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Dad just picked up her stuff. My husband pulled out the driveway to go to an interview as he was coming down the street so he circled around and waited down the street for him to leave. He text me if everything was ok and then went on his way. Lol I'm not sure what my husband thought her husband was gonna do. I told him I was truly sorry it didn't workout. Husband said thank you and that they appreciated everything.

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I don't let them have free range until they can walk unless all kids are the same age group. My nephew is the size of an average 3/4 year old not a 22- month old. He is clumsy and is a tad hyper. I thought I was following regulation per my state to not allow floor play with infant in a room where older children are walking/running and could cause an accident. I don't use swings or bouncy seats. She disn't like the jumper. Different strokes for different people I guess.

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I think you will be happier with the family not in your daycare. It really does sound like it was not a good fit.

Taking the one child to the bus stop sounds like it was a pain in the rear for you. Having to take all the little ones out for one child to go to the bus stop would be something that I would not be willing to do. It's just too much for me to go through for one child.

However, I do agree with the mother as far as letting the baby have free roam at least some times during the day. When I have mobile little babies, I do just like the mother suggested. I will sit my older ones at the table to color or with small manipulates to give the baby floor time. I do this a couple of times throughout the day. Basically, the older ones and the babies take turns using the main floor space.

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BTDT............

If these dcp's could overlook the safety for the want, then it's better they leave.

What would've been the next demand?

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One of the most common excuses abusive providers use when trying to explain an injury to an infant is that an older kid fell on the baby. If that really happened you would be under great suspicion for being the perpetrator.

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I understand your reasoning, but this would not fly in my state....we have to have so much square feet per child and babies do not get to be placed in confined spaces (pnp, exersaucers, swings) but for small amounts of time throughout the day....my babies get lots of tummy time and floor play....I just designate an area with materials and once they start scooting/crawling the babies go wherever they choose....I have an open 24 x 32 room with play centers set up. We talk alot about the presence of babies and how important it is to be aware of others play spaces....they begin learning this at a young age and role model to each other. This is for licensing, not to mention QRIS!!!!

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As long as that area is at least 35 sq feet, it meets state regs here. In fact, I once had an observer (my instructor) suggest that my non-mobile SEVEN WEEK old needed at least 35 sq. ft at all times. Yeah...OK...

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That is what it is here, too....but, being a parent myself, I would won't my baby to be included, allowed to interact, and able to enhance their gross motor skills so the floor is the place to learn that....My clients always compliment me on how my babies go to sleep at nap by themselves....and I feel the reason is I DO NOT put them in their beds EXCEPT to sleep....so that becomes a natural thing....and many are too surprised what an infant will pick up on while watching older kids do preschool/exercise/sing/etc...... infants can learn and need to be included while also being allowed their own free play in their own way with no confinement.

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But OP already said her state regulations require non walkers to be separated from walkers.

She is doing what she is required to do.

I separate my non-walkers too. They have an entire room to themselves but they are still separated from the walkers.
...and my QRIS is perfectly fine with that.

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Yep, I understand that. I was stating my FCC rules won't allow that unless we meet all QRIS materials needed in each room if we separate so no FCC that I know of separates here because no one has the room/space to meet those FCCERS-R guidelines twice....so we keep them all together...yes, even infants are governed to the degree of our preschoolers with certain categories....if the infants ore non-mobile we have to bring these materials to the child during assessment day?????? Crazy here!!!!!

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See, I understand because I live I the same state, AND my parents love that I "free range" - of course I only have the littles so it makes a difference. Except for the hallway leading to my bedroom, babies/toddlers have full roam of the house.... it's why I designated the other bedroom for sleeping & play (my kids are grown & moved out). Heck, once the babies can sit up at 6-7 months, they start sitting at the table with us for meals (no highchairs, just my special minui handisitt w/harness). My oldest , at 21 months, pulls her nap mat (3") out when she gets tired.

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I think you deserve an award for dealing with THE craziest QRIS rules I have ever come across.

I admire you for simply staying in business.

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Like I said, I have rolled with it, but no way would I encourage anyone to begin a child care here!

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So...just curious as I am dealing with this issue myself...do your infants stay in a separate room with a gate or are they just gated off from the rest of the room? My dd is crawling so I had to rearrange my furniture to keep her away from the other kids and still keep her within my sight.

Kudos to OP for keeping baby separate from the older kiddos...young children often don't pay attention and so infants can get hurt pretty quickly...

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I am not the OP, but I have a large play yard for baby. It's not a PNP and baby is on the floor when he's in it.

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I haven't read all the replies but I don't allow the kids to run indoors. For exactly the reason that a baby could get stepped on. Running and jumping inside just leads to problems. They are allowed to run and jump outside. Older children are told to watch out for the younger ones. I can't see how that would happen if the kids aren't running inside and taught to be respectful of everyone by not stepping on, pushing over, etc. How are you going to handle a new walker? They are going to end up getting hurt.

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I have a separate house for my child care and I do not live here.

It's set up in kind of like a star.

From the main dining/kitchen area I can see and access all 3 rooms. The smallest room I have is approx. 12' X 14' so LOTS of space in each room.

One room is for my non-walkers and a second room is for my walkers and my 3rd room is for large group activities where we are all present such as circle time etc.

Each room has a half door that is usually left open as none of the children attempt to "escape" their rooms but I still have the ability to shut the gate if I need to.

I hope that makes sense.

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I don't allow them to run or jump inside. I don't have a large area for that. They are not old enough at almost 2 to understand to watch out for a crawling baby. My 4 year olds need reminding to play easy. In my previous taking care of new walkers they would stay more toward the couch and when they started to let go then I didn't have any issue. So I can handle a new walker just fine. She hasn't even been crawling very long. Not even a month yet, so she is still learning to do that at this point.

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Well, I don't ALLOW them to run inside, either, but that doesn't mean they don't do it. My walkers are 17m, 19m, 25m, and 25m. They just don't have the self-control yet to remember "walking feet".

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I don't allow my children to do a lot of things, but that doesn't mean they never do it...

At my center, children who do not walk are not allowed on the floor outside of the crawling area in our infant room. It's partially to keep them from being stepped on by other children or staff and partially because we are required to make the walking children wear shoes, but we don't want the crawlers crawling around on dirty floors. (No shoes in the crawling area)

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It doesn't sound like a good fit so good riddance.

I let the babies crawl all over my daycare room and I have 12 kids here between 7mos and 5 years. I just make sure they know how to be around the babies and remind them when I put the baby down how they need to be. Sometimes they need a reminder if they are doing something inappropriate but for the most part it is all good.

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That's why I stay license exempt in this state... crazy thing is, I can go do exact same thing in VA as licensed or legally exempt with the babies I have in care now. I was legal in AR this way too...

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I can tolerate licensing rules, but QRIS is a whole new ballgame and whether providers like it or not, those rules are coming to ALL providers at some point. My state is just leading the way....not that I am proud of that! It would be nice if other states looked at the negative impact the harsh expectations have placed on providers here and loosen up across the board. However, QRIS is bigger than any one state and I feel it is another way for powers that be to gain control of our business and force us to comply which, in turn, will push many out of business like it already has (putting FCC out is the ultimate goal)....our numbers go down regularly, last time I posted the numbers, there were 819 FCC in my state, today there are 813. Other states need to keep their eyes open, because, like I said, it comes in like a lamb but turns into a lion very quickly! I can't tell you how many state partners come inmyy program building me up with words, grants, free education and I bit hook, line and sinker but now you could not pay me enough money to have these people back....I HAVE to do the ASSESSMENT but I do NOT have to allow any extra observations....

For what it is worth, licensing explains to me that the reason we can't get the rules loosened up is this: Since it is all written into law, legislation has so much to deal with that, even though legislators may NOT agree with the mandated "crazy" assessment, by the time child care comes up on the agenda legislators are DONE for the day....it is always last on the totem pole and then when someone says but it promotes "quality", the legislators back off and say "let's go home".....

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Oh I have no issues with the licensing, I do have issues with QRIS... I have been licensed in 4 states in the past 15 years and changed out to be license exempt every time the Stars program starts getting in my way lol. How the hell can you be a SMALL, FAMILY HOME for babies when you have to act like a freakin center and do assessments

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I think the mandated assessment is not fair for centers or home child care..unrealistic and does not promote quality!

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