Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>does any have exp with young twins?
Heidi 06:01 AM 01-18-2012
18 mo twin boys..very physical
I do more pulling apart the ulimate wrestling matches than anything. For 10 months now, I have been redirecting and seperating, repeating "no wrestling", or "gentle hands", or "go play with toys". I've tried giving them more physical space to roam, thinking maybe they were bored, but that only stressed me out because they get into everything in those rooms. Being toddlers, they have a little trouble with boundries.
Daily, I pull one off the other, and then -5-10 minuutes later, the other off the one. They pin each other to the ground, screaming and wailing (usually the one on the bottom is doing the wailing).
I'm starting to think I should just let it go for a few days, see if they figure it out on their own. Would that be horrible?
Like I said, I've even tried seperating them by putting one in a large pnp at a time, alternating between them. They STILL wrestle over the pnp wall.
IF I try this, I would do it maybe a week, and if they don't figure it out by then, I can always go back to plan A. My plan would be to ignore it entirely (and make everyone else ignore it. I think and audience and reactions may be fueling the fire here).
They get along fine when they are in their boosters at the table, in the stroller, or outside. The hug each other alot, and often that is what starts the wrestling.
I do more pulling apart the ulimate wrestling matches than anything. For 10 months now, I have been redirecting and seperating, repeating "no wrestling", or "gentle hands", or "go play with toys". I've tried giving them more physical space to roam, thinking maybe they were bored, but that only stressed me out because they get into everything in those rooms. Being toddlers, they have a little trouble with boundries.
Daily, I pull one off the other, and then -5-10 minuutes later, the other off the one. They pin each other to the ground, screaming and wailing (usually the one on the bottom is doing the wailing).
I'm starting to think I should just let it go for a few days, see if they figure it out on their own. Would that be horrible?
Like I said, I've even tried seperating them by putting one in a large pnp at a time, alternating between them. They STILL wrestle over the pnp wall.
IF I try this, I would do it maybe a week, and if they don't figure it out by then, I can always go back to plan A. My plan would be to ignore it entirely (and make everyone else ignore it. I think and audience and reactions may be fueling the fire here).
They get along fine when they are in their boosters at the table, in the stroller, or outside. The hug each other alot, and often that is what starts the wrestling.
Daycaremomof2 06:05 AM 01-18-2012
I feel your pain- I had a set of 18 month old twins who constantly hit and bit each-other. Twins are a lot harder to deal with. I was lucky that their parents were on the same page I was and we were able to work together to get it to stop. It sounds like their wrestling is encouraged at home- I have watched siblings whose parents set up "wrestling matches" for their entertainment before. I would continue to separate them, do time-outs, and tell them "we do not do that at my house." They will eventually get it.
Cat Herder 06:16 AM 01-18-2012
All day, everyday. 
I stop them mid-grab by clearing my throat and putting up one finger.
The know at two fingers I will walk toward them and at three fingers whatever toy they are fighting over leaves the room or they get moved to the quiet area.
Either response from me is not wanted when you are two and full of energy at free play time.
I stop them mid-grab by clearing my throat and putting up one finger.
The know at two fingers I will walk toward them and at three fingers whatever toy they are fighting over leaves the room or they get moved to the quiet area.
Either response from me is not wanted when you are two and full of energy at free play time.
GretasLittleFriends 06:20 AM 01-18-2012
I used to babysit a set of twin boys when I was a teenager. Your description sounds VERY familiar. I would think that it may be an issue to just let them figure it out on their own, in the fact that the other children might think it's ok to wrestle like that, however, at the same time it might be what needs to be done.
There wasn't much I could do, other than to keep them constantly engaged. Even to separate them (one in play pen, one out) they would both scream horrendously. I understand as a provider that you can't constantly keep them engaged and yet provide quality care for the others.
I can also tell you, as I have a drop-in set of twin boys who are 6 and in kindergarten, things don't really change. They still wrestle and get rowdy with each other. Fortunately they are old enough to know better, and they keep it amongst themselves. If they start showing that "brotherly love" and someone else tries to join in, they stop. Sorry I don't have an easy answer, maybe somebody else will. -- Edit, I see that two others responded while I was typing. Good luck!!
There wasn't much I could do, other than to keep them constantly engaged. Even to separate them (one in play pen, one out) they would both scream horrendously. I understand as a provider that you can't constantly keep them engaged and yet provide quality care for the others.
I can also tell you, as I have a drop-in set of twin boys who are 6 and in kindergarten, things don't really change. They still wrestle and get rowdy with each other. Fortunately they are old enough to know better, and they keep it amongst themselves. If they start showing that "brotherly love" and someone else tries to join in, they stop. Sorry I don't have an easy answer, maybe somebody else will. -- Edit, I see that two others responded while I was typing. Good luck!!
Heidi 07:29 AM 01-18-2012
I have decided to do this as a social experiment...lol
I have had twins before, by the way, but in both cases they were older (4) fraternals, and one set was girl/girl & the other girl/boy. These guys are identical twins, and 18m.
For the rest of this week, I will not intervene, unless someone is seriously getting hurt. If that is the case, I will re-direct only, "hey...look over here...lol", but not give it any special attention. I have noticed that every time I seperate them or redirect them (go play with toys, wrestling is not ok here), they almost immediately go back to it when my back is turned. Perhaps I am actually escalating it by giving it attention?
I am going to document the times they do it for each free play period. This morning, during the first 45 minutes, it was constant at first, then there were 15 minutes of peace. I only got involved once, to comfort the twin that was crying hard. I did not acknowledge the behavior. I just said "buddy...you got hurt", and hugged him for a few moments. When he settled, I sent him off to play again. Funny, but they just started playing then!
Wish me luck...I will keep you updated!
I have had twins before, by the way, but in both cases they were older (4) fraternals, and one set was girl/girl & the other girl/boy. These guys are identical twins, and 18m.
For the rest of this week, I will not intervene, unless someone is seriously getting hurt. If that is the case, I will re-direct only, "hey...look over here...lol", but not give it any special attention. I have noticed that every time I seperate them or redirect them (go play with toys, wrestling is not ok here), they almost immediately go back to it when my back is turned. Perhaps I am actually escalating it by giving it attention?
I am going to document the times they do it for each free play period. This morning, during the first 45 minutes, it was constant at first, then there were 15 minutes of peace. I only got involved once, to comfort the twin that was crying hard. I did not acknowledge the behavior. I just said "buddy...you got hurt", and hugged him for a few moments. When he settled, I sent him off to play again. Funny, but they just started playing then!
Wish me luck...I will keep you updated!