lucky 12:02 PM 03-19-2013
I am wondering if any of you have a cutoff point at which you are willing to change diapers. I have a little guy who will be 4 on Friday who has absolutely no interest in using the bathroom. He really doesn't even care if he is in a dirty diaper. I've never had a child this age not be potty trained and frankly it's getting yucky! I'm debating on giving the parent's a time frame for which he needs to be trained. Any suggestions?
4 is pushing it if there are no special needs. I would inquire about what their plans for potty learning are.
lucky 12:06 PM 03-19-2013
I have asked the parent's and they just say he isn't interested at home either. I've been trying to gently nudge them to work at it but so far no luck!
blandino 12:08 PM 03-19-2013
The oldest we've had, without a developmental delay, is a few weeks past 3. I would certainly be tired of changing his diapers too. I could even imagine trying to put a 4 yo onto a changing table, or even trying to work around legs that long.
Do you think he would train if you were just to take him out of diapers ? That would be my final solution. Of course at home, not having accidents all over your daycare.
I would speak to them about either a deadline or talking to his pediatrician to see if there is more going on.
crazydaycarelady 12:11 PM 03-19-2013
Yeah, I'd be giving them a timeframe. Do you have other 4yos? I would think he would be getting embarrassed by his babyish behavior in front of other kids.
lucky 12:19 PM 03-19-2013
I do actually have 4 other boys age 3-5 and 2 girls 3& 4 who are all potty trained.
LK5kids 12:46 PM 03-19-2013
My cut off is age three! I also will not accept a new child in diapers who is over three unless parents are working very hard to get the child potty trained and the child is a young three.
WImom 12:46 PM 03-19-2013
I hear you on the yucky factor!
I have a 4.5y old DCB here that still poops his diaper/pull up and could care less. He will pee on the potty (Only very recently). Parent say he's in underwear only at home and no accidents. He is my only kid here that isn't potty trained, been like that for months now. This adds to my frustration on it.
Hopefully he will get this resolved before K5 in the fall.
Good Luck, hopefully he will be just one day soon want to do it!
Play Care 12:57 PM 03-19-2013
My policy is that I will not accept a new child into my care over 3 and not potty trained. It's more of a personal issue than anything else, but I find diapering to be very awkward with an older child that I haven't had since infancy. I also taught preschool for many years where kids had to been potty trained to attend and we were not even to be in the bathroom with them (which is probably the cause of my issue
)
I also will say that by 3 1/2 a child does need to be potty trained or training here - even if I've had them since birth, unless there is a medical reason *that is being worked on* I had a very uncomfortable situation with a dc boy a few years ago so that's when I made this policy.
I know some kids pt late - my own dd refused to poop on the toilet until she was 4
so while I am sympathetic, I just can't accomodate it.
Play Care 12:59 PM 03-19-2013
Originally Posted by WImom:
I hear you on the yucky factor!
I have a 4.5y old DCB here that still poops his diaper/pull up and could care less. He will pee on the potty (Only very recently). Parent say he's in underwear only at home and no accidents. He is my only kid here that isn't potty trained, been like that for months now. This adds to my frustration on it.
Hopefully he will get this resolved before K5 in the fall.
Good Luck, hopefully he will be just one day soon want to do it!
Wow! You would think the parents would be more concerned, especially since he's off to school in the Fall! What do they say they are planning on doing when he has accidents in class?
crazydaycarelady 01:07 PM 03-19-2013
I know I am going to get jumped on for this advice BUT since this is a choice dcboy is making and not a health issue I would probably start to talk about big kid behaviors and little kid behaviors. For example when one of the other kids goes to the potty I would really talk it up about what a big kid they are and how terrific it is. Maybe even give anyone who goes on the potty a little treat when they go. Hopefully he'll try to emulate them.
youretooloud 01:13 PM 03-19-2013
I had one kid who will be four this summer JUST recently get potty trained in January. I was getting very impatient. I think over three is too old. Four is insane.
I don't have a cutoff limit, i'd probably just change them less often, and make it less comfortable for them. "Oh, your head doesn't fit on the changer..you are too tall..sorry".
We had one girl at a daycare center with Spina Bifida (before pullups) and she changed her own diapers..she was in the fours class. But, back then, it was unheard of to have three year olds in diapers. Kids were in underoos by age two.
wdmmom 01:28 PM 03-19-2013
I have this child that is 3 years 7.5 months and he shows ZERO interest. He wants to be a big boy, he knows what a potty is, he goes when you set him on it but he will go in his diaper 10 out of 10 times. He can't and doesn't express that he needs to go. DCM said that she puts him on several times a day in the evening and weekends but she's struggling too.
I think the biggest problem is that he's outgrowing the biggest diapers they make! He's a very big kid and any time he has a bm, you better be quick to catch it because chances are the diaper won't contain it long.
I've expressed my concerns with dcm but to no avail. I told her that once these diapers are depleted she will need to purchase 4t/5t pull ups or she is going to have to buy adult depends to fit on this kid.
She's suppose to tell me by the end of the month if he will continue attending here come the new school year or if she plans to enroll him in school of some sort. Chances are, he'll continue attending because he won't be potty trained and I can tell you that if he's not potty trained by age 4, I will terminate services. It's physically impossible to change a kid that wears clothes that are too small, diapers too small and goes to the bathroom too big for the functionality of the diaper to work properly.
Patches 01:35 PM 03-19-2013
Unregistered 02:06 PM 03-19-2013
Originally Posted by lucky:
I am wondering if any of you have a cutoff point at which you are willing to change diapers. I have a little guy who will be 4 on Friday who has absolutely no interest in using the bathroom. He really doesn't even care if he is in a dirty diaper. I've never had a child this age not be potty trained and frankly it's getting yucky! I'm debating on giving the parent's a time frame for which he needs to be trained. Any suggestions?
I ended up terming an almost 5 year old boy who wasn't potty trained. He peed everywhere constantly, parents wouldn't take him to the dr or send him in pull ups...so I termed.
That's not really advice though :P sorry.
AfterSchoolMom 02:37 PM 03-19-2013
My middle son was a little over four by the time he was potty trained. It scared me, I really thought he may end up not being able to attend school!
He'd pee on the potty fine, but refused to poop anywhere but his diaper. However, at that point, if he pooped, I'd take off the diaper, flush the poop, and have him wipe himself. He finally figured out that it was easier to wipe if he just went on the potty in the first place.
How verbal is this child? Can you talk to him about it?
LK5kids 04:00 PM 03-19-2013
CedarCreek 05:07 PM 03-19-2013
I personally don't think it's a huge issue but it's definitely your right to write it in to your policies not to accept an unpotty trained child over the age of ____.
WImom 05:20 PM 03-19-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Wow! You would think the parents would be more concerned, especially since he's off to school in the Fall! What do they say they are planning on doing when he has accidents in class?
I don't agree with how they handled the whole potty training from the start so although I'm being blunt, I really don't care what happens.
Hopefully he will just not have any like they say he doesn't at home. I just don't get how he can sit in it and not care here but at home he goes on the potty. Who knows!
Willow 06:19 PM 03-19-2013
Originally Posted by WImom:
I don't agree with how they handled the whole potty training from the start so although I'm being blunt, I really don't care what happens. Hopefully he will just not have any like they say he doesn't at home. I just don't get how he can sit in it and not care here but at home he goes on the potty. Who knows!
I am usually right on track with Cedar but the above bolded I'd make the exception.
Pushing training before a child is ready or doing so inconsistently can doom kids to struggle with every aspect of training, and I won't be a party to that ridiculousness.
I have a kiddo right now who just hit 3 1/2. He showed zero interest since the day he started but mom and dad were on board with no pressure, just occasional gentle encouragement and otherwise waiting it out. He can be extremely oppositional with them so I was relieved they didn't turn training into WWIII or he is one that I'm sure would have ended up in diapers until he was 10. Three weeks ago he asked for unders for the first time over a weekend. He had one dribble accident here the first day back in care but otherwise has stayed completely dry since, pee, poo and naptime included.
Was it a pain? Yes. But I'm willing to stay the course with most any child
as long as their parents don't set them up for failure from the get go. If they do I would definitely relieve myself of any responsibility over that (literal) mess!
bunnyslippers 05:48 AM 03-20-2013
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
My middle son was a little over four by the time he was potty trained. It scared me, I really thought he may end up not being able to attend school! He'd pee on the potty fine, but refused to poop anywhere but his diaper. However, at that point, if he pooped, I'd take off the diaper, flush the poop, and have him wipe himself. He finally figured out that it was easier to wipe if he just went on the potty in the first place.
How verbal is this child? Can you talk to him about it?
This was my oldest son, too. He was just a little over 4 when he finally was done with diapers. He isn't delayed at all, and was actually early in every other milestone (talked at 6 months, crawled at 6 months, walked at 9 months, started reading at 2 years). He just wasn't ready. One day, he woke up and was just ready to go.
Candy 08:02 AM 03-20-2013
3 after a child turns 3 i will not change diapers. Luckly where i live most kids are potty trained a 2 1/2. 4 is a absolute no no for me. Some 4 years olds are huge i couldn't even imagine picking that kid up to change him. I'm surprised he even still fits diapers.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 11:25 AM 03-20-2013
I am so ready for all of my 2 yr old boys to be potty trained. Waiting for a little nicer weather so we can spend he day outside in pants no underwear and a couple of potty chairs
3 they must be. That said I once took one from head start because she was three and not potty trained.... She never had an accident for me. Naptime was the only time mom was afraid she might pee so requested a diaper so she wouldn't soil her bed... After two dry weeks we stopped the diaper. She was the best kid...