First time in 30yrs of doing childcare Isent baby home early,I just could not keep him happy.He has been with me since Sept and is a difficult child.He just wants to crawl around recking stuff and climbing on everything,He is 9 months old and next in my care is11 months.same MO,Iam at my wits end with these 2,Ican barely read to the others or do our curriculum,I am really close to terming over this, sorry about punctuation typing in the dark 9nap tim),I GUESS MY QUESTION IS WHEN DO WE RETIRE OR TERM CERTAIN CHILDREN,

Reply

If you love what you do and if you can afford to, I would just term these two and be pickier in the future. To me it sounds like you are happier with the older kids, so why continue to make your day miserable?

Reply

I don't have an answer, I am in the same boat with one of my 2 infants. I've been hoping it's a phase and he will out grow it. 2 months later he is still crying most of the day if not being held.

Reply

I feel your pain. I have a 7 month old that when she started was the perfect baby. She started getting to the restless point where they want to be on the move but can't yet. Now we spend our days with her fussing or crying non stop. I have sent home twice for it. I don't know how much longer I can take it and the mom is perfect! She is the perfect parent so I am trying my best to not term.

Reply

I have always been known for my patient/good care of infants, It is not that I "like" older children more But parents want curriculm for 2.9 and up and these 2 infants hate to be contained at all. I have been doing care for infants through age 5 qithout a problem,It seems these two are harder than the 60 + other children I have cared for,It can be a tough job,

Reply

See, I love the younger ones, don't like dealing with kids once they are 2 lol. At 54 my priorities have changed; I have 4 everyday and except for sometimes being overly tired, I don't have ones that cry all day ( after 14 yrs this is a miracle in itself); I only termed one child for crying, but she was 13 months before she even started in care and was catered too, held, fed etc. - it lasted 3 days and I said no more.

Reply

I would term when the child is interfering with the care of the other children, when the child is affecting the rest of the group emotionally, when I DREAD seeing the child show up every day, when the child's issues are carrying over into your life outside of daycare, or when you simply can not take anymore-if caring for the child is destroying your own mental health, it's time for him or her to go.

Reply

This......

I don't care how old you are, no one can handle crying for extended periods of time and this will affect your environment.

You gave the child plenty of time to adjust and it's just not working. Not your fault.

I would email a letter to the parent telling them that it is not working out and that unless you see drastic change take place in the next 14 days, you will need to term.

I would address the issue in the email, see if there is a solution that you both can agree to by working together, put that solution in place, then monitor to see that it works. give it 14 days to see if it's working and if it's not, then give notice and term.

just curious, does this child attend full time?

Reply

Yes the child does attend full time.When parent drops off they are concerned because he was "fussy"at home.I really feel that he is catered to and not put down except "free range".I had his sister for 2 years and though she was older at start very agreeable. This little guy is either really happy or screaming. I think the idea of a 14 day trial will be good.Though I do tell parents to try to get the children used to being part of a group.I know a lot of children spend their home time being driven around doing errands.I always tell parents that I am caring for 6 children and everybodies day needs to be decent.

Reply

My troublesome one is almost 7 months old. Started here at 4 months. Was very happy at first. Then started crying when he wasn't being held, stopped instantly when picked up. There was always a logical reason, at first he was adjusting to daycare, then he was teething, then he was sick, then teething again with 4 teeth at once. But now all of that is over and 3 months later he is still crying. I correct myself. He S C R E A M S. And when it's naptime he screams even more, and very loudly kick/thumps his legs repeatedly on the play pen mat. When he finally falls asleep he wakes up at the drop of a pin and starts screaming. It is getting to be too much. I spoke with his mom who of course seems shocked. "He sleeps fine at home, he'll sleep a good 3 hour nap." This boy is the lightest sleeper on earth, I couldn't see that happening. I tried everything, white noise, different location, rubbing his back. Finally I asked mom HOW she gets him to sleep "Oh I just hold him while he sleeps or I rock him, or both. If not I put him in the swing" Ummmmmmm yeah, I found my problem!

Reply

Exactly the same situation,like we can put a movie on and hold child for 2 +hours.I THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELPFUL INSIGHT.i am taking the weekend to decide wether to give the two week trial notice. I feel like these two babies have really worn me out.I will be 61 in March and this just might be it for me.I will feel bad retireing ,I had hoped to see this last group through.With every day a scream fest I think as another poster said we need to take care of ourselves. .

Reply

Well Mom just picked up early to take child to Dr for his cranky behavior,I to;d her I was doing my best,but if I couldn;t give him a happy day what was the point,She seems to get it but.........I am really contemplateing getting out.I am feeling because of the 3 under 2 's the older children are not getting a great day ,just ok. I hate to retire I had hoped to see these last families through. Just feeling a little overwhelmed .

Reply

Why not keep just the older ones? How many older ones do you have? If it's a small group, you could change things up and do more field trips and activities. Maybe just some changes like that would keep you going (and earning) a while longer.

Reply

The doctor will not give dcm the answer she is looking for. If the child can be settled when sleeping in her arms than it is nothing medical. I wish doctors would straight forward with parents and tell them the reason their baby is crying and cranky is bc they are being held all day, rocked to sleep or left to sleep in a swing.
I would go through a check list with dcm. Does she rock, use swing for sleep, use activity seats too much, held too often. Tell her what you expect from her at home in order to train the baby. Ley her know that you are consider terming. Say you will work with her if she does the work and you will revisit the issue in a week. If in a week there is some improvement you will revisit in another week. If no improvement than you can give notice.

Reply

I did think of just keeping the olderones.This is areally young group 9 months,11months,18months,20 months,almost3 and3.6 yr old. We will see what the new year brings.

Reply

Yeah, I could see keeping the 18mo, 20mo, and the 3 year olds. That'd be a nice group; two young playmates and two older playmates. You could do a lot of fun activities and maybe even some field trips if you're up to it.

Do you ever have a day when you don't have the infants? If not, I'd try to arrange one. See how different it is!

On a side note, in WI we couldn't have all those kiddos together with one caregiver. With 4 under 2 years of age, we can't have any older ones. WIth 2, we can have 2 over 2, and with 2 under 2, we can have 5 over. Your group really is a lot for one person of any age to handle!

Reply

I am still feeling the uplifting AHHHH.......... from letting go of a crying screamer, and that was half a yr ago.
Sometimes it's hard to see the whole picture when your sitting smack dab in the middle of it.
But if your feeling so badly about the situation, that your ready to retire, maybe start by letting go of the ones that are stirring up the day to be unbearable first. Then take it from there.

Reply

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.The mom called and said the baby had an ear infection and will stay home tomorrow.I only have 4 coming and hopefully it would be a better day.The problem with letting the two youngest go is that athe 11 month and 3.6 yr olds are siblings.If I let him go then Mom would defineately take oldest to. I think I will give the youngest a week to feel better then see it through the holidays .Mom works for the public schools and is on my teachers contract so no care last week and a half of Dec. I think I will start there and see how it goes.Winter is always hardest when we are not out as long. I do usually have 3 under two yrs old and 2 or 3 over.

Reply

Two whole days without the screamer. Even though the days were still full and other baby was a little fussy what a relief.I am going to give notice.I will keep him until Dec 23 and then his Mom is off until Jan 5th .I do feel bad but he is just to much with all the others.Thanks again for your input this board is so helpful.Makes me feel like I am not working alone.

Reply

Glad you have figured out what you need to do for you and your group.

Reply

The children are on the young side,but I do not have more than the allowed infants daily.Today there are 3 and 2 older. I have a few part timers that fit around the schedule.I have not given the mom notice yet.He was out last week and so far today better.We will see what the week brings.

Reply