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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Do Not Think I Should Have To Deal With Her...
familyschoolcare 10:59 AM 09-19-2011
Alright so the short version, I tried to keep it short.

DCD has a “Girlfriend” other (I think they live together, they are not married this I know for sure). I pick DCB up from school and most of the time the girlfriend picks up, this in and of it’s self is not a problem. The problem is that the girlfriend keeps wanting to talk about “money” with me and negotiate even when it appears that Dad does not and Dad understands the policy in place.

Example one: During interview girlfriend kept saying so it will be ** for after care even though he only here 3 hours. Dad looked annoyed and had already agreed to my published rate. So that issue was resolved.

Example two: When I first enrolled this child I was picking him up from summer school which got out at 12:00, that was only going to be 4 weeks then School was starting and now I pick him up at 2:30. When Dad signed the contract I told him that since he was going to keep the child here after school started I would charge him the regular school day rate for the 4 summer school weeks instead of the half school day rate. Dad understood and thanked me for the $37 a week for 4 weeks discount. Then when school started both Dad and girlfriend came to pick up the child and Dad asked so does the fee change B/C school started and DCB is here less hours. I reminded him that I was already giving him that rate and he responded with oh yah that’s right. Then the girlfriend starts to say to me but remember when I called about service before the interview appointment we did not talk about the school year we only talked about summer. Again dad looked annoyed. That issue was resolved.

What happened today: Dad calls leaving a message saying I think I forgot to pay for this week (payments are due the Friday before the week of Care). I called and left a voice message saying yes you forgot to pay and do not forget their is a $15 per calendar day late fee. Dad calls back this time I answer the phone, Dad wanted to drop payment right then and wanted clarification on how much the late fee was in total. So I tell him I am away from the house but he can leave the payment in the white bench on my porch, and tell him the late fee is a total of $45 if payment is made by 6:15PM today otherwise it is an additional $15. Because, the late fee is $15 per calendar day with the day ending at 6:15PM. So Dad repeats so its $45 if paid before 6:15PM today and if not an additional $15. I respond yes. The Dad say hold on a second, and hands the phone to the girlfriend I then repeat the late fee policy and she says well we have the normal payment if we drop this now can we give you the late fee later. I said yes as long as you pay it before the next normal payment is due which is 6:15 on Friday, otherwise their will be another late fee. She Okay…

I think that when the girlfriend comes and picks up today she is going to try and argue out of the late fee. I really do not think I should have to “deal” with her when it comes to money and the would I be out of line if I told her that she is not responsible for paying me and therefore I will no longer be discussing money with her.
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Meeko 11:12 AM 09-19-2011
Tell her that your contract is with the dad and therefore, you can only discuss money matters with him.
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sharlan 11:22 AM 09-19-2011
I agree. Tell her that the contract is with the dad and you need to discuss all money matters with him.

I have one child that dad pays 1/2, grandma pays the other 1/2. My contract is with the dad so that is who I discuss the money with. Grandma always pays early, Dad pays late, but I don't charge a late fee.
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daycare 11:24 AM 09-19-2011
I would tell her:

I know you are trying to be helpful, but unfortunately per licensing rules, I am only at liberty to discuss contracts and any information that pertains to (Childs name) with legal guardians/parents.



This way she doesnt run to the DCD and say add me to his contract.....AND if she does, I would say sorry I can only add a parent or legal guardian....
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familyschoolcare 11:26 AM 09-19-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I would tell her:

I know you are trying to be helpful, but unfortunately per licensing rules, I am only at liberty to discuss contracts and any information that pertains to (Childs name) with legal guardians/parents.



This way she doesnt run to the DCD and say add me to his contract.....AND if she does, I would say sorry I can only add a parent or legal guardian....
I like this idea but is it true?
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sharlan 11:37 AM 09-19-2011
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
I like this idea but is it true?
I've never seen that addressed. But, you can always say, "I'm sorry, "I" prefer to only discuss money with the parent/guardian who signed "my" contract. If you have question pertaining my policies, ask Dad."
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nannyde 11:41 AM 09-19-2011
They just wanted to delay the late fee payment to give them more time to negotiate it with you. Don't do that.

When gf brings this stuff up say "I can tell you feel the fee should be different. I know you and Dad need to talk to each other and figure out what to do. When you guys decide what is best for your family then Dad can tell me what he would like to do. I can't talk to you about it because I don't have the agreement with you. You guys visit and have Dad give me a call. If Dad decides he doesn't need my services I will discuss with him the notice time we have agreed upon."

Then when she keeps bringing it up say "I can tell you feel the fee should be different. Talk to Dad and have him give me a call to let me know what you guys decide"

Then... "talk to Dad and have him let me know what you guys decide"

Then: "Talk to Dad"
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Cat Herder 11:47 AM 09-19-2011
IMHO, since she was part of the initial interview, enrollment process, lives with DCD and is active in raising DCK, she is to be treated as any other parent/guardian.

I would address the constant arguing over money, instead.

Have one meeting, both of them. Have them sign that they understand the policies OR have decided to leave with two weeks notice.

Let that be the end of it. I would not have the same battle over and over...that is absurd.

Don't play into it. No more "special", at all.....THIS is why.

Nan, we must have been posting at the same time....
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daycare 11:53 AM 09-19-2011
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
I like this idea but is it true?
yes it is true.... The person signing the contracts for the child has to be one or the other parent. Parent or legal guardian.
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familyschoolcare 09:54 AM 09-20-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
IMHO, since she was part of the initial interview, enrollment process, lives with DCD and is active in raising DCK, she is to be treated as any other parent/guardian.
This is the only part of your statement I disagree with. She, the girlfriend has no legal right in regards to the child. Therefor in some ways she will always be treated different that any other parent/guardian.
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familyschoolcare 09:54 AM 09-20-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
They just wanted to delay the late fee payment to give them more time to negotiate it with you. Don't do that.

When gf brings this stuff up say "I can tell you feel the fee should be different. I know you and Dad need to talk to each other and figure out what to do. When you guys decide what is best for your family then Dad can tell me what he would like to do. I can't talk to you about it because I don't have the agreement with you. You guys visit and have Dad give me a call. If Dad decides he doesn't need my services I will discuss with him the notice time we have agreed upon."

Then when she keeps bringing it up say "I can tell you feel the fee should be different. Talk to Dad and have him give me a call to let me know what you guys decide"

Then... "talk to Dad and have him let me know what you guys decide"

Then: "Talk to Dad"
I like this and will start doing that.
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familyschoolcare 09:59 AM 09-20-2011
Thank you for all the advise people, when the girlfriend picked up she did not bring the issue up. I had already prepared a receipt for the cash payment which covered part of the late fee, a detail invoice and a partial copy of the contract (the parts with the reg. payments due and the late fees) in a sealed envelope with dads name on it. I ask her to give it to Dad.

So I will wait for an "issue" to come up again before telling the girlfriend I will no longer discuss contract/legal issues with anyone that is not the contracting parent/s and if you have questions ask Dad.
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Tags:parents - changing things, policy
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