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  #1  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:16 AM
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Default Strange DCD Behavior?

I hate people, so tell me if this is normal I'm usually perceptive but I'm at a loss here.

New dcg, age 2, just turned. She's good, just super needy and clingy. Whines to go home a lot. But getting better a little each day.

Dcm is a teacher and dcd works similar hours. Besides the interview, I've never seen dcm. Both parents give me a weird vibe. They are super materialistic ("We go to Key West, we go here, we go there, we want a newer, bigger, house..."). Ironically it's easy to see they are broke as can be, but that's besides the point. They are both very in your face blunt. I'm blunt. They are super blunt. When I'm taken aback, you know it's blunt.

So the weird thing is that dcd makes odd comments about dcg. "Dcg needs to thin out" (she's tiny but has the cute little 2-year-old chub that all toddlers do. Dcg will be gorgeous though). "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat." "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today". Or yesterday at pickup..."Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans." What the serious heck? It's always comments about her body and I think it's weird.

I don't know if he is just so materialistic that he wants everything to look great in his life, including his kids (she's so adorable, by the way). Or if he's creepy.

Thoughts? I'm not like ready to call CPS, I should state. Sometimes people jump on that band wagon. But I definitely have my eyes open as those comments seem inappropriate!
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  #2  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
I hate people, so tell me if this is normal I'm usually perceptive but I'm at a loss here.

New dcg, age 2, just turned. She's good, just super needy and clingy. Whines to go home a lot. But getting better a little each day.

Dcm is a teacher and dcd works similar hours. Besides the interview, I've never seen dcm. Both parents give me a weird vibe. They are super materialistic ("We go to Key West, we go here, we go there, we want a newer, bigger, house..."). Ironically it's easy to see they are broke as can be, but that's besides the point. They are both very in your face blunt. I'm blunt. They are super blunt. When I'm taken aback, you know it's blunt.

So the weird thing is that dcd makes odd comments about dcg. "Dcg needs to thin out" (she's tiny but has the cute little 2-year-old chub that all toddlers do. Dcg will be gorgeous though). "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat." "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today". Or yesterday at pickup..."Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans." What the serious heck? It's always comments about her body and I think it's weird.

I don't know if he is just so materialistic that he wants everything to look great in his life, including his kids (she's so adorable, by the way). Or if he's creepy.

Thoughts? I'm not like ready to call CPS, I should state. Sometimes people jump on that band wagon. But I definitely have my eyes open as those comments seem inappropriate!
Sounds like they are grooming her to have life long body issues
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Old 09-13-2017, 10:27 AM
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That is definitely problematic in my opinion. Why does he think this is ok?? I wouldn't call CPS but I might make a comment like "she is perfect and right on target for her age, no need to worry dad".

I had an anorexic mom make these comments about her child. Granted the child was 3 and 40lbs but she was also very tall. I always spun it into a positive and the mom stopped commenting.
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  #4  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:30 AM
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Originally Posted by storybookending View Post
Sounds like they are grooming her to have life long body issues
I know - I'm sitting her 20 lbs overweight wondering what they say about me
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  #5  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
That is definitely problematic in my opinion. Why does he think this is ok?? I wouldn't call CPS but I might make a comment like "she is perfect and right on target for her age, no need to worry dad".

I had an anorexic mom make these comments about her child. Granted the child was 3 and 40lbs but she was also very tall. I always spun it into a positive and the mom stopped commenting.
I've been doing this, I just keep saying, "She is absolutely perfect. Right where she should be!"
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Old 09-13-2017, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
I've been doing this, I just keep saying, "She is absolutely perfect. Right where she should be!"
Maybe let him know his comments are making you feel uncomfortable and why?

What a crappy situation to be in
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  #7  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Maybe let him know his comments are making you feel uncomfortable and why?

What a crappy situation to be in
Maybe I will hit him with this... "You know dcd...I'm a little overweight here. I sure would hate to see what you say about me behind my back since dcd is absolutely perfect and you're always teasing her..."

At least maybe he will shut up here.
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Old 09-13-2017, 10:42 AM
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I would be blunt.

She is perfectly on target for her age and height. She's beautiful. However, those comments could be detrimental to her emotional well being long term, young children are highly perceptive.

If it persisted, "We don't call names, it's impolite." "We don't comment on appearances, it's rude."

followed by a meeting with both parents present.

Wonder how this 'dad of the year' treats dcm. ?


DD's best friend's dad makes similar comments to his daughter. She's now 92 lbs and entering her second stint in an eating disorder facility. I'd like to smack his fat face.
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  #9  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
I know - I'm sitting her 20 lbs overweight wondering what they say about me
Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.
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  #10  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:46 AM
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Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.
or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It SUCKS. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.
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  #11  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:48 AM
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or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It SUCKS. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.
Feeling your pain. Prednisone caused my weight gain in the first place.
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  #12  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:49 AM
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Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.
Or those who just like to eat
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  #13  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I would be blunt.

She is perfectly on target for her age and height. She's beautiful. However, those comments could be detrimental to her emotional well being long term, young children are highly perceptive.

If it persisted, "We don't call names, it's impolite." "We don't comment on appearances, it's rude."

followed by a meeting with both parents present.

Wonder how this 'dad of the year' treats dcm. ?


DD's best friend's dad makes similar comments to his daughter. She's now 92 lbs and entering her second stint in an eating disorder facility. I'd like to smack his fat face.
I like this because it secretly amuses me to treat him like a child.

Also yeah, that thought crossed my mind. He probably treats dcm poorly.
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  #14  
Old 09-13-2017, 10:52 AM
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or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It SUCKS. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.
That too. I'm a mixture of both as well. I do have a few lbs I could lose but I'm very strong. I have the WORST eating habits imaginable. It's amazing that my daycare kids eat so well and always finish their veggies. If only someone instilled that in me when I was younger!

I have a wedding in October for my childhood best friend. I look fine in my dress but there is going to be a ton of people there I used to know (she kept in touch with people, I did not). I told myself I was going to try really hard to look great for this occasion but the "I haven't spoken to these people in 8 years why should I change myself to impress them" mentality set in. We are less than a month away and I just started trying to eat healthier again up until the day and make sure I get my steps in. Yes I'm one of those fitbit people... I think I started a little too late.. oops
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Old 09-13-2017, 01:21 PM
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That poor little girl is going to have body image issues for the rest of her life! Little kids remember these comments, I know I do!

I have always been bigger. Every single woman in my family is built the same way I am. So, my size is partly genetics, party from my love affair with good food and Mt. Dew. My dad has always been proud of the fact that he still fits in his jeans from high school, 24 years ago. I grew up hearing comments like this my entire childhood. They stick with you for life!

I am getting married in 2 months. Did I go crazy to lose a bunch of weight? Nope. This body has served me my entire life. It has grown a human being inside of it. It has produced milk for the first 5 months of my baby's life. I am not perfect, I am no beauty queen, but I am who I am. If anyone has a problem with that they do not have to look at me!
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Old 09-13-2017, 01:42 PM
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Your dcd sounds like a real shmuck. IME I have learned that making no comment at all and giving a short, silent stare then turning away is the most effective way to communicate that something said or done is not acceptable in a non-confrontational way.

This profession, as with any service related field I imagine, will make you largely hate people. As for the jerks like your dcd, he probably isn't going to change no matter what you say to him, and saying something about it will probably make drop-off/pick-ups awkward forever. I wouldn't say anything if it were me.

I had a family years ago that was much like yours. Materialistic, and very into looks. Then their daughter was born with a giant strawberry mark on her face. It sure humbled them. It faded and disappeared by the time she was four. I swear it was a lesson for them from the heavens!
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  #17  
Old 09-13-2017, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Miss A View Post
That poor little girl is going to have body image issues for the rest of her life! Little kids remember these comments, I know I do!

I have always been bigger. Every single woman in my family is built the same way I am. So, my size is partly genetics, party from my love affair with good food and Mt. Dew. My dad has always been proud of the fact that he still fits in his jeans from high school, 24 years ago. I grew up hearing comments like this my entire childhood. They stick with you for life!

I am getting married in 2 months. Did I go crazy to lose a bunch of weight? Nope. This body has served me my entire life. It has grown a human being inside of it. It has produced milk for the first 5 months of my baby's life. I am not perfect, I am no beauty queen, but I am who I am. If anyone has a problem with that they do not have to look at me!
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Old 09-13-2017, 04:16 PM
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Be even more blunt. "Comments like those cause eating disorders. I hope you're making advance payments to a hospital that specializes in that. "
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Old 09-13-2017, 04:31 PM
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Be even more blunt. "Comments like those cause eating disorders. I hope you're making advance payments to a hospital that specializes in that. "
Love that one, and it's true.
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They are also our future.
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  #20  
Old 09-13-2017, 07:00 PM
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Be even more blunt. "Comments like those cause eating disorders. I hope you're making advance payments to a hospital that specializes in that. "
You're sassy. I like it!
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Old 09-14-2017, 03:08 PM
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You're sassy. I like it!
My little sister had anorexia. It's not something I'll let go.
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Old 09-14-2017, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
That is definitely problematic in my opinion. Why does he think this is ok?? I wouldn't call CPS but I might make a comment like "she is perfect and right on target for her age, no need to worry dad".

I had an anorexic mom make these comments about her child. Granted the child was 3 and 40lbs but she was also very tall. I always spun it into a positive and the mom stopped commenting.
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Old 09-15-2017, 06:20 AM
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Originally Posted by midaycare View Post
I hate people, so tell me if this is normal I'm usually perceptive but I'm at a loss here.

New dcg, age 2, just turned. She's good, just super needy and clingy. Whines to go home a lot. But getting better a little each day.

Dcm is a teacher and dcd works similar hours. Besides the interview, I've never seen dcm. Both parents give me a weird vibe. They are super materialistic ("We go to Key West, we go here, we go there, we want a newer, bigger, house..."). Ironically it's easy to see they are broke as can be, but that's besides the point. They are both very in your face blunt. I'm blunt. They are super blunt. When I'm taken aback, you know it's blunt.

So the weird thing is that dcd makes odd comments about dcg. "Dcg needs to thin out" (she's tiny but has the cute little 2-year-old chub that all toddlers do. Dcg will be gorgeous though). "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat." "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today". Or yesterday at pickup..."Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans." What the serious heck? It's always comments about her body and I think it's weird.

I don't know if he is just so materialistic that he wants everything to look great in his life, including his kids (she's so adorable, by the way). Or if he's creepy.

Thoughts? I'm not like ready to call CPS, I should state. Sometimes people jump on that band wagon. But I definitely have my eyes open as those comments seem inappropriate!
Dad "Dcg needs to thin out"
You: I'm going to need a Doctor's note for that. If she has a medical issue causing her to be obese we need to find out asap.

Dad "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat."
You: I'm going to need a Podiatrist note for that. If she needs special shoes or orthotics we need to get them asap.

Dad "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today".
You: To DCG... "sounds like you will be getting a whole new wardrobe here soon little missy."

Dad Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans."
You: To DCG... "Daddy likes your jeans".

There's a CHANCE he's just a creep and wants to ENGAGE you and he literally can't think of a single thing to say because he's socially inept or dumb.

Any chance he's got the hots for you?
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