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Old 04-11-2018, 03:52 PM
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Default 5 Yr Olds And Accidents

Do you remind 5 1/2 yr olds through out the day to go potty? I have a 5 1/2 yr old girl who has accidents. I remind her at times of the day to go potty but I don't feel that I need to do this so I haven't been recently, they aren't going to remind her in a few in kindergarten to go potty. I haven't experienced someone of this age doing this has anyone else?
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:25 PM
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I don't remind, but there are natural transition times that I insist everyone try (after meals, before going outside) so we rarely have accidents. TBH, I've had more issues with my SA kids having accidents after holding it all day.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:29 PM
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I actually have all the kids go potty before lunch and right before snack. I don't know if she is actually going though at those times. At other times though I do not remind usually 4-5 months before they start school I don't keep reminding them. I just haven't had anyone her age or older have accidents.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:41 PM
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I feel like this is common with kids these days. I donít know what it is but Iíve been told by my parents I never had an accident after potty training and I do not recall my peers having them at the rates kids nowadays are having them. I used to work school aged care and they were fairly common. One of my best friends is a PE teacher at an elementary school and she says kids are always having accidents in her gym.

I only have two potty trained at my daycare. They are both soon to be 4. I make them potty before rest and before PM snack as we go directly outside after but otherwise I donít remind them at all at other times.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:45 PM
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Everyone goes before nap and before we leave for anything. Otherwise I only remind kids that I know still need it. Once they hit 4, they clean up their own accidents.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:53 PM
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I donít remind kids unless a parent suggests they might need it.
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Old 04-11-2018, 11:51 PM
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Iíve had this happen but only with Children who were force trained for a long time (usually placed on the potty every 30 minutes over a lengthy time period). I believe itís a result of not learning to listen to their body, not gaining autonomy in the potty training process and a loss of self-esteem, self-discipline and intrinsic motivation. Sometimes it fixes itself and sometimes they completely revert.

I think youíre right to stop giving reminders. I have a group of mostly 2-3 year olds and do have them go potty before and after nap but I donít announce it. Everyone just lines up and tries. If I notice one child isnít in line I ask if they want to try. If they donít I donít make them. I tell them that itís their body and their decision.
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Old 04-12-2018, 06:14 AM
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I don't remind kids either but there are probably about 10+ transition times during the day that provide opportunity to use the restroom.

There are a couple times where the break is specifically for bathroom breaks and all kids are required to go/try at that time.

At her age, I wouldn't think she needs a reminder either.
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Old 04-12-2018, 07:31 AM
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Ok well I"m glad I"m not the only one who doesn't remind other than the couple times mentioned. It's just frustrating because when she has accidents it's not just a little, it's full blown puddle, she peed in the table chair and it was pooled in it, her hands were soaked, when she came and told me she dripped all over the floor, last time she did it on my couch and although my couch isn't cloth it's still a mess. I did have her change her clothes by herself.
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Old 04-12-2018, 07:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tenderhearts View Post
Ok well I"m glad I"m not the only one who doesn't remind other than the couple times mentioned. It's just frustrating because when she has accidents it's not just a little, it's full blown puddle, she peed in the table chair and it was pooled in it, her hands were soaked, when she came and told me she dripped all over the floor, last time she did it on my couch and although my couch isn't cloth it's still a mess. I did have her change her clothes by herself.
Have her parents consulted a pediatrician at all?

At 5.5 she shouldn't be having accidents like that. Holding it a bit too long and leaking is more common but full blown accidents like that are something I'd relate to a training child or a 3 yr old.

I would insist that she wear something to protect your home and furniture from urine. A plastic covering or even pull ups. It sounds like a medical issue could be at play...
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Old 04-12-2018, 08:35 AM
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No parents have not consulted a physician. This is the child I've had other things with. Fear of the wind, then all of a sudden being afraid to be alone at quiet time and crying all day. Her parents baby her through everything, she sleeps with them still, they do what she wants. When she "excitedly told her dad she peed in the chair, he laughs a little and says, "I love you", what???
That's when I said, she will be starting kinder soon, and we talked about how she needs to not be holding it, because at school they wont remind the to go. Then he said, schools make a big deal about going to the bathroom, I didn't understand that comment and asked what he meant? and he said well they have to ask to go and get passes, I said well that's for safety reasons, if a child is in the hall with no pass, who knows if anyone knows they are even out there or knows where they are at, having a hall pass allows others to know that the teacher knows where they are at.

that is a good idea though to have coverings or something and maybe I should talk further with the parents about having them see a doctor, but I know that will not go anywhere.
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Old 04-12-2018, 08:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tenderhearts View Post
No parents have not consulted a physician. This is the child I've had other things with. Fear of the wind, then all of a sudden being afraid to be alone at quiet time and crying all day. Her parents baby her through everything, she sleeps with them still, they do what she wants. When she "excitedly told her dad she peed in the chair, he laughs a little and says, "I love you", what???
That's when I said, she will be starting kinder soon, and we talked about how she needs to not be holding it, because at school they wont remind the to go. Then he said, schools make a big deal about going to the bathroom, I didn't understand that comment and asked what he meant? and he said well they have to ask to go and get passes, I said well that's for safety reasons, if a child is in the hall with no pass, who knows if anyone knows they are even out there or knows where they are at, having a hall pass allows others to know that the teacher knows where they are at.

that is a good idea though to have coverings or something and maybe I should talk further with the parents about having them see a doctor, but I know that will not go anywhere.
If you don't think the parents will follow through with seeing a doctor or finding a solution to this issue, tell them you simply can't manage the urine all over any longer and unless she wears pull ups or a protective covering, they must put down a deposit of $300 to cover the costs of having your floors and furniture professionally sanitized and cleaned.

Watch how quickly they will spring into action trying to find a solution to this once they figure out the alternative is a cost to them.
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:05 AM
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Yea that's a good idea, but nothing in my contract states any of that therefore I feel like I can't charge them something like that, but maybe I now need to add for future even though I have never had this issue.

Honestly I am looking very forward to her departure for many reasons. I never felt like this with her before but it seems over the last year she has become so rude at pickup, she turns into a totally different kid when her parents get here. When her dad and I are talking she will interupt and shout at him, I will remind her we are talking, dad says NOTHING, he will stop and drop our conversation to listen to her, then when she says what she has to say he will giggle and say "I love you", basically saying her behaviour is ok. She will say I want to go and he will stop everything and say, well the boss says it's time to go. Oh my it drives me crazy, she will literally be swatting at him and he will just dodge her and I don't feel like it's my place to say something other than well have a good night, but why doesn't he tell her to stop I just don't get it. I actually hope she pops him hard where it counts and maybe then he'll do something I can go on and on. I told my husband that even though I try to get them out of the door quickly, it's not that easy with dad, he likes to talk, so next time she interrupts and he stops the conversation I"m just going to walk to the door and say well guess it's time to go have a good night.
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Old 04-12-2018, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tenderhearts View Post
Yea that's a good idea, but nothing in my contract states any of that therefore I feel like I can't charge them something like that, but maybe I now need to add for future even though I have never had this issue.
Not everything has to be written in your policies for it to be a rule/requirement.

Especially since how many other 5.5 yr olds have you provided services for that peed all over your house like that? Exactly.....

So you can still tell the parents that you don't have a written rule about this issue because it's the first time it's been an issue and the ONLY solution you can come up with is a cleaning deposit OR protective covering.

It solves the issue nicely verses just letting the family go kwim?

I wish there was an easy solution. It sucks that we as providers have to deal with such lazy parenting sometimes.

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Old 04-12-2018, 10:42 AM
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Very true! I think I'll for sure mention bringing pull up or something waterproof over her panties. I don't think I told them now that I think about it about her peeing all over the bathroom floor 2 weeks ago because she didn't make it to the toilet. I forgot because she didn't get it in her pants just all over the floor.
I"m not letting them go because I've said, she is leaving to go to Kindergarten.
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