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Old 04-18-2018, 07:19 AM
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Question Daycare Provider - Extended Illness

Hi all,
I posted this in the parent's forum first, but what I'd really like to know is how providers feel. I'm feeling really bad about this situation and would appreciate some feedback.

My 2yo has been with the same home-based provider since she was 2 months old. We love her and she is great. The problem is that she has been in the hospital for the past 3 weeks. She doesn't know when she'll be able to return to work and has told me that she knows she'll need to go to a rehab facility before returning home. She provided us with the name of a friend who could provide backup care, but TBH I was not impressed with this lady and her house reeked of cat pee. So, I've been piecing together care and taking off work here and there for the past few weeks. After finding out that she would be needing to go to rehab and would be out for some time yet, I decided to enroll my daughter at the daycare center where we were planning to send her to preschool in another year or two. I called my current provider to let her know and she was very upset. She loves my daughter and was really hoping she could still have her when she returned to work. So now I feel terrible, but I just don't see how I could continue taking off work and piecing together care indefinitely. Am I a jerk for kicking this poor woman when she's down? Should I have waited longer?
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  #2  
Old 04-18-2018, 07:23 AM
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MomBoss MomBoss is offline
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You could always have your child go to the center for now and then go back to her when she starts doing care again. But depending on what the illness was, you have to figure out if its possible she will be hospitalized again and if you will find yourself in the same situation again. You shouldnt feel too bad, I would understand if i was out longer than a month that my families may find other care.
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  #3  
Old 04-18-2018, 07:29 AM
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You could always have your child go to the center for now and then go back to her when she starts doing care again. But depending on what the illness was, you have to figure out if its possible she will be hospitalized again and if you will find yourself in the same situation again. You shouldnt feel too bad, I would understand if i was out longer than a month that my families may find other care.
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  #4  
Old 04-18-2018, 07:32 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi all,
I posted this in the parent's forum first, but what I'd really like to know is how providers feel. I'm feeling really bad about this situation and would appreciate some feedback.

My 2yo has been with the same home-based provider since she was 2 months old. We love her and she is great. The problem is that she has been in the hospital for the past 3 weeks. She doesn't know when she'll be able to return to work and has told me that she knows she'll need to go to a rehab facility before returning home. She provided us with the name of a friend who could provide backup care, but TBH I was not impressed with this lady and her house reeked of cat pee. So, I've been piecing together care and taking off work here and there for the past few weeks. After finding out that she would be needing to go to rehab and would be out for some time yet, I decided to enroll my daughter at the daycare center where we were planning to send her to preschool in another year or two. I called my current provider to let her know and she was very upset. She loves my daughter and was really hoping she could still have her when she returned to work. So now I feel terrible, but I just don't see how I could continue taking off work and piecing together care indefinitely. Am I a jerk for kicking this poor woman when she's down? Should I have waited longer?
No. You are NOT a jerk.

I've been a provider for over 20+ years and life happens.
Sometimes those situations cause us to feel badly and/or super emotional but truth be told, EVERYONE, including your provider needs to do what she needs to do.

She may love your child a ton but that doesn't change the facts of the situation. She is unavailable to provide care.
You need care. Love and attachment play no role in what each of your needs are.

Like I said, life happens but the world doesn't stop when life gives us a curveball and expecting others to act a certain way based on emotions isn't realistic in my honest opinion.

Hence the reason I am open and available for care for my DCF's today despite having been in the hospital with my husband since yesterday morning. And although my daycare parents love and care about my husband they need to work and mine/my DH's situation isn't their situation.


If I were you, I'd make sure my provider knew how much she is loved and appreciated but you need to do what you need to do and that goodbye isn't forever...you can keep her as a back up still but once your DD adjusts to the new center, it would be cruel to move her yer again.

Her feelings (your DD's) need to be considered too!
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  #5  
Old 04-18-2018, 08:07 AM
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LysesKids LysesKids is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi all,
I posted this in the parent's forum first, but what I'd really like to know is how providers feel. I'm feeling really bad about this situation and would appreciate some feedback.

My 2yo has been with the same home-based provider since she was 2 months old. We love her and she is great. The problem is that she has been in the hospital for the past 3 weeks. She doesn't know when she'll be able to return to work and has told me that she knows she'll need to go to a rehab facility before returning home. She provided us with the name of a friend who could provide backup care, but TBH I was not impressed with this lady and her house reeked of cat pee. So, I've been piecing together care and taking off work here and there for the past few weeks. After finding out that she would be needing to go to rehab and would be out for some time yet, I decided to enroll my daughter at the daycare center where we were planning to send her to preschool in another year or two. I called my current provider to let her know and she was very upset. She loves my daughter and was really hoping she could still have her when she returned to work. So now I feel terrible, but I just don't see how I could continue taking off work and piecing together care indefinitely. Am I a jerk for kicking this poor woman when she's down? Should I have waited longer?
You are not a bad person for finding other care... I understand because just over 2 months ago I was a provider that got very ill & my dcp's had to pick up as the rescue squad was called for me; All my families waited out the 3 weeks I was in the hospital (surgery & all) hoping I could start back by week 4... didn't happen & I told the parents I understood if they went elsewhere as the DR wouldn't clear me for another 4 weeks (last Tuesday was the all clear - and nobody here knew til now lol).

I knew I couldn't expect my families to wait it out that long regardless on how much we liked how the daycare ran, and I am now starting over with a few PT babes. Life happens and you roll with it
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  #6  
Old 04-18-2018, 09:10 AM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Absolutely not a jerk!! You canít lose your job because youíre being nice to your provider. Itís too bad the backup care is so terrible

Crappy situation all around but as a provider I would not expect my families to stick around without adequate backup care.

Maybe send some flowers and thank her for everything so she knows itís not personal
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  #7  
Old 04-18-2018, 09:29 AM
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I was hospitalized for 2 weeks in February (different occasions) and closed for illness one week the month before.

I lost one family.

Was I mad? Sure, because I only closed two days during the hospitalization and arranged a substitute (who they know and it's in my own home) for all my families. I made it extremely clear what was going on with me and how I expected to recover (I had a bad kidney infection then an allergic reaction to meds).
Had I just been closed those two weeks or not clearly spelled out what my recovery would be, then I would fully expect to lose ALL families.

Life happens. I don't expect people to rearrange their lives long term but I do expect that families who chose in-home daycare to expect that emergencies arise in our lives too.
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Old 04-18-2018, 09:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
No. You are NOT a jerk.

I've been a provider for over 20+ years and life happens.
Sometimes those situations cause us to feel badly and/or super emotional but truth be told, EVERYONE, including your provider needs to do what she needs to do.

She may love your child a ton but that doesn't change the facts of the situation. She is unavailable to provide care.
You need care. Love and attachment play no role in what each of your needs are.

Like I said, life happens but the world doesn't stop when life gives us a curveball and expecting others to act a certain way based on emotions isn't realistic in my honest opinion.

Hence the reason I am open and available for care for my DCF's today despite having been in the hospital with my husband since yesterday morning. And although my daycare parents love and care about my husband they need to work and mine/my DH's situation isn't their situation.


If I were you, I'd make sure my provider knew how much she is loved and appreciated but you need to do what you need to do and that goodbye isn't forever...you can keep her as a back up still but once your DD adjusts to the new center, it would be cruel to move her yer again.

Her feelings (your DD's) need to be considered too!
yep.

As a home provider, this is part of the unexpected, being self employed. I also have a FT assistant AND will soon have two substitutes so that IF(when?) I need time off, I can take it without affecting families/my business.
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  #9  
Old 04-18-2018, 09:40 AM
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amberrose3dg amberrose3dg is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi all,
I posted this in the parent's forum first, but what I'd really like to know is how providers feel. I'm feeling really bad about this situation and would appreciate some feedback.

My 2yo has been with the same home-based provider since she was 2 months old. We love her and she is great. The problem is that she has been in the hospital for the past 3 weeks. She doesn't know when she'll be able to return to work and has told me that she knows she'll need to go to a rehab facility before returning home. She provided us with the name of a friend who could provide backup care, but TBH I was not impressed with this lady and her house reeked of cat pee. So, I've been piecing together care and taking off work here and there for the past few weeks. After finding out that she would be needing to go to rehab and would be out for some time yet, I decided to enroll my daughter at the daycare center where we were planning to send her to preschool in another year or two. I called my current provider to let her know and she was very upset. She loves my daughter and was really hoping she could still have her when she returned to work. So now I feel terrible, but I just don't see how I could continue taking off work and piecing together care indefinitely. Am I a jerk for kicking this poor woman when she's down? Should I have waited longer?
Not at all. If you really want to go back once shes back on her feet you can. If not I am sure she will understand. That is a long time to be without child care.
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  #10  
Old 04-18-2018, 09:44 AM
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Annalee Annalee is offline
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With FCC, I think it depends on each situation....being off 7 days when my dad died and the ordeal I went through (had already decided I would not make them pay, then a client decided to call everyone and asking them not to pay changed my mind on this, so I made all pay) caused me to realize how insensitive clients can be.....BUT on the other hand, all clients do not have backup care. Many times those clients choose not to enroll in my program but some do and the first emergency closing causes a stir. I think an FCC provider needs to do what benefits them and the client do what benefits them. All eyes see it differently. At the end of the day, this is just a business!
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  #11  
Old 04-18-2018, 10:42 AM
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rosieteddy rosieteddy is offline
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Not a jerk.I had a heart attack and was hospitalized for a week.If that was all then my families would have come back.I was not able to reopen for at least 3 weeks .Then there were Dr appointments ect.I thought in the best interest of children and parents I should close.I retired earlier than I had planned.I felt it would be mean to the 6 children to get used to a different program.Then when I felt better to change them back. I think that for your childs sake the center is the best choice...Most of my clients came back to say goodbye and I appreciated that.Good luck and think that your child had a great start.
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  #12  
Old 04-18-2018, 11:05 AM
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I was diagnosed with colon cancer and had to close for 6 weeks for surgery and then opened parttime while undergoing chemotherapy. My parents were so good to me. They mobilized and found coverage. It actually was a relief to me when they called off. One less thing to worry about. Your provider is very emotional now. I'm sure that after thinking about it, she'll be relieved that your child is being cared for. It takes pressure off of her.
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  #13  
Old 04-18-2018, 04:53 PM
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mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
No. You are NOT a jerk.

I've been a provider for over 20+ years and life happens.
Sometimes those situations cause us to feel badly and/or super emotional but truth be told, EVERYONE, including your provider needs to do what she needs to do.

She may love your child a ton but that doesn't change the facts of the situation. She is unavailable to provide care.
You need care. Love and attachment play no role in what each of your needs are.

Like I said, life happens but the world doesn't stop when life gives us a curveball and expecting others to act a certain way based on emotions isn't realistic in my honest opinion.

Hence the reason I am open and available for care for my DCF's today despite having been in the hospital with my husband since yesterday morning. And although my daycare parents love and care about my husband they need to work and mine/my DH's situation isn't their situation.


If I were you, I'd make sure my provider knew how much she is loved and appreciated but you need to do what you need to do and that goodbye isn't forever...you can keep her as a back up still but once your DD adjusts to the new center, it would be cruel to move her yer again.

Her feelings (your DD's) need to be considered too!
Hope everything is okay for you and your husband, BC!
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