Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-17-2012, 11:56 AM
Posts: n/a
Default To Lie? or Not to Lie?

I have a 2.5 that i have been watching for 15 months now, i have really formed an attachment to the little guy but there are have been issues with his parents not taking much interest in his care. Without going into too much detail, the little boy has just become unbearable. He crys all day long. He cannot talk to tell me what he wants, not even simple words. He wont stand for another child to be by me or he will throw himself backwards on the floor, which is quite dangeous in an all tile floor home. When he gets frustrated he just starts pushing things over. He wont eat all day, he only drinks milk, and if you give him food he will dump it out or throw it across the room and scream, his parents are aware of all this and by the sound of it he is worse at home than he is here, i am ready to replace him, i feel that i have stuck with this long enough and it just makes my life much too stressful when he shows up. My question really is this......

What excuses do you use when giving your parents notice, do you tell them "oh, your child is uncontrollable" ? Or do you sugar coat, or do you just make something up like, "hey, im shortening my hours and little Jimmy just cant come anymore bc he stays too late"?

Just curious, any help would be appreciated. I dont want to be rude but i dont want to watch him anymore eithe
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:05 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021

never lie....

I would just tell them that you will no longer to be ale to offer care for their child. If they ask why, you can simply say that you do not feel that the DCK is a good fit.

I never go into detail, just keep it simple./
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:09 PM
Crazy8's Avatar
Crazy8 Crazy8 is offline
Advanced Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 2,769

I wouldn't lie but like daycare said, just keep it short and simple. You do not need to provide a reason but I always feel like I must include something in my term letters so I usually go with the generic "child not adjusting, can't give the care child needs" type reasons. I would leave out the child is uncontrollable part.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:13 PM
sharlan's Avatar
sharlan sharlan is offline
Advanced Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino, California
Posts: 6,040

Never lie, it will always come back to get you.

I would simply tell the parents that as of (date) you will no longer be able to provide care for little Johnny. If they press you for a reason why, just let them know he's not happy in your care.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:31 PM
DBug DBug is offline
Daycare Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 934

"I have enjoyed getting to know Little Johnny over the past while, but find that I am no longer able to provide the care that he needs. Little Johnny's last day of care at *** Daycare will be ***x, 2012. As our contract states, payment will be required for each day until Johnny's last day, whether he attends daycare or not.

Feel free to call or email with any questions you have."

Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:32 PM
EarthyMom's Avatar
EarthyMom EarthyMom is offline Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 38

Just a suggestion which wouldn't be a lie.

If pressed for a "why", maybe you could state that it is your goal for all children to thrive in your daycare center. You feel he has gotten all he could from it and is not thriving. The program is not enriching his growth and development.

Along those lines?
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:38 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,760

Originally Posted by daycare View Post
never lie....

I would just tell them that you will no longer to be ale to offer care for their child. If they ask why, you can simply say that you do not feel that the DCK is a good fit.

I never go into detail, just keep it simple./
I agree with daycare about the lying part, and I do like to keep my written notices short and to the point, however, in this case, I feel that you need to explain to the parents what the issue is. Parents can't address things if they aren't aware of them.

You did say the parents do know about these issues so I would absolutely tell them that those things are exactly why you are terming. If the child has trouble adjusting to care (for whatever reasons) it is important that parents understand why the provider cannot deal with or fix these issues.

Most providers have other children to care for so being able to devote time to one on one care with a child is impossible and knowing that this little guy has no secure attachment to his parents is sad, but it not your issue to fix and must be addressed by the parents if they want their son to ever be able to adjust to a group child care setting.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 12:39 PM
itlw8's Avatar
itlw8 itlw8 is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,199

tell the truth.. but something is going on with that child. he should be more verbal than that by 2.5 the other behaviors are a cry for help. It might be a good idea if the parents see about having him evaluated. it takes awhile to get it all done. But at age 3 the school district provides help for those students that need it . For now do you have a First Steps program?

As far as you tell them the truth.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2012, 01:21 PM
Posts: n/a

Thank you all for the great advice, i did not want to lie to the parents but i also was not entirely sure how much to say so this helps a lot. He does have a speeh therapist that comes every week, but this seems to be a huge ordeal. She has been coming here for about 2 months and parents disregarded the schedule in the beginning after a couple of missed appointments with me having to reschedule i sent out a letter stating that not only is it my rules that he be here by 10 each day but that i would not continue to re arrange my schedule so that i could reschedule his speech. Not only that the little guy hates whenever the therapist is here and is constantly screaming "help me" and reaching towards me, which happens to be the only words he knows apart from mama and dada, he just cant tell you what he needs help with. The therapist writes down all these words that she hears him say during therapy that are just absurd considering all he does is cry and say help me, but that isoff into another story, he is getting help but due to all the parental issues the therapist even told me that she believes that the problems stemed from his home environment, there are a lot of issues best left un written but it is just too much for me to handle anymore i just hope everything works out for him in the long run, i have stuck with it as long as i can you just cant save them all.
Reply With Quote

2 year old, lying, lying kids, therapist

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:20 PM.         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming