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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Has a DCK Called You a Name?
coolconfidentme 09:34 AM 10-08-2013
DCB is in shadowing today & thinks its a game at this point. I said, "Your behavior isn't funny to me..." Before I had a chance to finish he said, "I think you are funny looking & goofy too," & them he belly laughed with a smirk on his face. WTFuff?!? Believe it or not I kept calm & said, "Being rude & disrespectful will only get you in more trouble."
How do you handle this type of behavior?
How do you handle this type of behavior?
Maria2013 09:39 AM 10-08-2013
being called funny looking would not bother me, kids call me silly and I just agree and laugh with them
but I can understand that it bothers you so I'm sorry
but I can understand that it bothers you so I'm sorry
Play Care 09:43 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
DCB is in shadowing today & thinks its a game at this point. I said, "Your behavior isn't funny to me..." Before I had a chance to finish he said, "I think you are funny looking & goofy too," & them he belly laughed with a smirk on his face. WTFuff?!? Believe it or not I kept calm & said, "Being rude & disrespectful will only get you in more trouble."
How do you handle this type of behavior?
If being called funny or goofy was done in the course of silly, fun play, it would be one thing. But it sounds as if this child did it to be rude. And I wouldn't tolerate that. DCB is in shadowing today & thinks its a game at this point. I said, "Your behavior isn't funny to me..." Before I had a chance to finish he said, "I think you are funny looking & goofy too," & them he belly laughed with a smirk on his face. WTFuff?!? Believe it or not I kept calm & said, "Being rude & disrespectful will only get you in more trouble."
How do you handle this type of behavior?
I have one 4 yo dcb who tells me I mean - usually when I'm preventing him from running roughshod over the other kids. He gets escorted to the quiet spot because children who are not being nice don't get to play.
coolconfidentme 09:44 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by Maria2013:
being called funny looking would not bother me, kids call me silly and I just agree and laugh with them
but I can understand that it bothers you so I'm sorry
He wasn't trying to be funny by saying it, he was trying to be rude. He's a very manipulative, demanding child who is in timeout daily.being called funny looking would not bother me, kids call me silly and I just agree and laugh with them
but I can understand that it bothers you so I'm sorry
Willow 09:57 AM 10-08-2013
How old is he?
My response would have varied by age......
My response would have varied by age......
Maria2013 10:02 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
He wasn't trying to be funny by saying it, he was trying to be rude. He's a very manipulative, demanding child who is in timeout daily.
ok I get it , but still, if that happen to me I wouldn't care, I wouldn't give him the power to get to meHe wasn't trying to be funny by saying it, he was trying to be rude. He's a very manipulative, demanding child who is in timeout daily.
Josiegirl 10:23 AM 10-08-2013
Try being called a f****** b***** by a 5 yo dcb. This, because I tried to get him to pick up the stuff he'd been playing with and had strewn all over the playroom. THE WORST kid I've had here to date. I called g'ma and said you need to come get these kids(there were 3 boys) right now. I was trying to help this family out on Saturdays. The 9 yo didn't like being told what to do and wouldn't listen to me, always complaining he was bored cause he wanted to play video games, always calling his brothers pri@ks. The 7 yo and I got along great, I liked him. But their 5 yo was a piece of work.
And that was merely the icing on the cake, there were so many issues with this family I blew my top one day and said I am done.
So what your one dck said I probably wouldn't have made too big of a deal over.
Course if you're having issues with him anyways that lead to all that, I might have done some serious privilege with-holding or something.
Good luck and hope your day gets better fast!
And that was merely the icing on the cake, there were so many issues with this family I blew my top one day and said I am done.
So what your one dck said I probably wouldn't have made too big of a deal over.
Course if you're having issues with him anyways that lead to all that, I might have done some serious privilege with-holding or something.Good luck and hope your day gets better fast!
coolconfidentme 10:26 AM 10-08-2013
He is 3.5.
I wasn't giving him the power, we do not allow anyone to be rude or disrespectful here. We are a please & thank you group here. He is a gimme, won't share type of child.
I wasn't giving him the power, we do not allow anyone to be rude or disrespectful here. We are a please & thank you group here. He is a gimme, won't share type of child.
Willow 10:44 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
He is 3.5.
I wasn't giving him the power, we do not allow anyone to be rude or disrespectful here. We are a please & thank you group here. He is a gimme, won't share type of child.
Time out and shadowing is a joke of sorts to booger children who don't have respect. He is 3.5.
I wasn't giving him the power, we do not allow anyone to be rude or disrespectful here. We are a please & thank you group here. He is a gimme, won't share type of child.
I'd put him to work. Give him chores to do to help you out and see how funny he thinks that is. Tell him his disrespect *earns* him chores. Have him shelve books, clear the table while everyone else gets to go off and play, put him on trash duty after art projects, pick up toy trails after babies etc.
He might think it's hilarious short term but I GUARANTEE you it'll get old real quick.
(It's a double win for you because everytime he tries to get your goat you know you just scored some additional help during the day. I'd go so far as to get up and give a "YES!!!! You just called me a name so now you have to do ____!!!!!" while doing a happy dance. The few I've had like that figured out lickety split not to EVER come at me from a nasty angle because I don't get mad, I just thoroughly enjoy tossing the angst right back in their direction).
Maria2013 10:47 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Try being called a f****** b***** by a 5 yo dcb.
yes that would get to me and would have serious consequencesTry being called a f****** b***** by a 5 yo dcb.
countrymom 11:26 AM 10-08-2013
I have a child who mimics me. If I say something to a child he will get in their face and repeat what I said but in a mean way.
today was the best. I asked him to come and lay down so I can change him. This is what he said
me: J come here so I can change your bumm
J: I TOLD YOU I HAVE NO POOP (yes he was yelling at me in a stern way)
me: J, please come here
J: I TOLD YOU NO, I NO COME
I went and got him and told him that he can not talk to me like that ever. But I just don't know if he gets it or he's doing it on purpose.
I have another dcg who is afraid of rain. I kid you not every single day he will torment her about rain. "its raining" "its storming" "its going to get you"
he's 3 yrs old, but I'm finding his behavior getting worse. How can I fix it.
today was the best. I asked him to come and lay down so I can change him. This is what he said
me: J come here so I can change your bumm
J: I TOLD YOU I HAVE NO POOP (yes he was yelling at me in a stern way)
me: J, please come here
J: I TOLD YOU NO, I NO COME
I went and got him and told him that he can not talk to me like that ever. But I just don't know if he gets it or he's doing it on purpose.
I have another dcg who is afraid of rain. I kid you not every single day he will torment her about rain. "its raining" "its storming" "its going to get you"
he's 3 yrs old, but I'm finding his behavior getting worse. How can I fix it.
itlw8 11:29 AM 10-08-2013
a five year old was very mad at me he then said YOU YOU Barbie Doll.. it was the worst thing he could think of ... I looked at him and said. Well Thank you He got even madder and I said you still need to pick it up.
spinnymarie 12:10 PM 10-08-2013
If time outs aren't working very well, than I agree that ignoring in that situation might be the best way. He is clearly trying to push your buttons, esp if he is already in trouble.
If he continues, though, ignoring it also might not work, but that's what I would try first. If he keeps going, I would start some other sort of consequence - any time you aren't using nice words while in my care, I have to write down a mark on this (easily viewable by him) paper, and you will have to say two nice things for every one mark before you can begin playing at play time (or whatever).
If he continues, though, ignoring it also might not work, but that's what I would try first. If he keeps going, I would start some other sort of consequence - any time you aren't using nice words while in my care, I have to write down a mark on this (easily viewable by him) paper, and you will have to say two nice things for every one mark before you can begin playing at play time (or whatever).
coolconfidentme 12:27 PM 10-08-2013
PS...., He leaned forward, spit on the floor & smirked. We walked in into the kitchen, I got a rag & I told him to clean it up. While he wiped the floor, I called his mom to pick him up. She was livid at him when she got here. He of course cried..., without tears. I reminded her that he cannot return for 24 hours per policy. What a day!
spinnymarie 01:33 PM 10-08-2013
oh Yikes! No question I'd start laying down the law then, forget the ignoring, it's way past that!
Have a drink and put your feet up... and then decide what his 'currency' is, and take it all away!
Hopefully mom is pissed with HIM at home...
Have a drink and put your feet up... and then decide what his 'currency' is, and take it all away!
Hopefully mom is pissed with HIM at home...
Josiegirl 03:27 PM 10-08-2013
Oh I HATE it when they do that!! Spitting is one of the worst! What a little ****! I guess I just don't get it. My kids would've never ever done anything like that to anyone. It wouldn't enter their mind. But wow, some of the stuff I've seen kids do in my daycare boggles my mind.
Sunshine75 04:23 PM 10-08-2013
Countrymom-my suggestion to you about the diaper changing thing is to simply say you are giving him a choice. He can come over willingly and get his diaper changed or he can refuse and if you have to go over and get him there will be a consequence. To him this is perceived control which children who are his age range are starting to really press and understand about themselves and their bodies. They want control but don't know how to express it appropriately. You could say I know you think you don't have a poopy diaper but you do and I can show you if you come over. The best kind of consequence for children is one that is as closely related to the negative thing they have done. An example would be if the child spit as in a previous post I would talk to the parents and ask them if I could not only have them clean it up but put tobasco sauce on their tongue for doing it. The parents and you are the ones in charge and in agreement this way with the child being the one who no longer can pull the strings. Just like in a 2 parent family where both are on the same side you can set things up like that between yourself and the parent.
Angelsj 05:14 PM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by Sunshine75:
Countrymom-my suggestion to you about the diaper changing thing is to simply say you are giving him a choice. He can come over willingly and get his diaper changed or he can refuse and if you have to go over and get him there will be a consequence. To him this is perceived control which children who are his age range are starting to really press and understand about themselves and their bodies. They want control but don't know how to express it appropriately. You could say I know you think you don't have a poopy diaper but you do and I can show you if you come over. The best kind of consequence for children is one that is as closely related to the negative thing they have done. An example would be if the child spit as in a previous post I would talk to the parents and ask them if I could not only have them clean it up but put tobasco sauce on their tongue for doing it. The parents and you are the ones in charge and in agreement this way with the child being the one who no longer can pull the strings. Just like in a 2 parent family where both are on the same side you can set things up like that between yourself and the parent.
That isn't legal according to MN guidelines. I get where you are coming from with having an EXTRA consequence other than just cleaning it up, but we, as providers, cannot punish a child with hot sauce. Countrymom-my suggestion to you about the diaper changing thing is to simply say you are giving him a choice. He can come over willingly and get his diaper changed or he can refuse and if you have to go over and get him there will be a consequence. To him this is perceived control which children who are his age range are starting to really press and understand about themselves and their bodies. They want control but don't know how to express it appropriately. You could say I know you think you don't have a poopy diaper but you do and I can show you if you come over. The best kind of consequence for children is one that is as closely related to the negative thing they have done. An example would be if the child spit as in a previous post I would talk to the parents and ask them if I could not only have them clean it up but put tobasco sauce on their tongue for doing it. The parents and you are the ones in charge and in agreement this way with the child being the one who no longer can pull the strings. Just like in a 2 parent family where both are on the same side you can set things up like that between yourself and the parent.
Maybe he could do a little extra cleaning, like washing cupboard faces for a bit? Because of "splash?"