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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Clingy 4 year old
NiNi.R. 11:48 AM 05-10-2019
DCG has been with me since she was about 2 months old. Recently, she has became very clingy. Always wanting affection. If I'm talking to another child she will stand next to me and lean on me. If I give her a quick hug and tell her to go play, she will move nearby with a toy in her hand, but she isn't playing, she is just staring at me. On days where it's really bad, she has baby talk and behavior to go along with it. I've tried to redirect, explain, ignore, give her the attention she is seeking when she behaves appropriately...nothing seems to work. She doesn't throw fits when she doesn't get her way or even really get upset. However, she will sit there quiet and pretend like she doesn't understand what she is being told and do what she wants anyway. Or at least I think she is pretending. I sometimes worry/wonder about her. Her cognitive skills seem to be a little behind but all other areas of her development skills seem right on point.

Any suggestions and advice would be appreciated!
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Blackcat31 12:42 PM 05-10-2019
Is this new behavior only happening at daycare or has the parent(s) mentioned anything at home happening? Is she clingy to her mom or dad at all?

That's a tough one for sure but I know every age comes a different stage so the first thing I try to look for is how new skills or development could affect the every day routine.

Imagination/fantasy play impacts this age a lot in my experience and a once secure child begins to exhibit fear of abandonment or having something bad happen that they may not have imagined or worried about before so it could be her own development that is working against her.

Is she able to express to you why she isn't wanting to go off an play like she used to or why she seems to be a bit clingier than normal? Sometimes they really do know the answer.
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NiNi.R. 01:00 PM 05-10-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Is this new behavior only happening at daycare or has the parent(s) mentioned anything at home happening? Is she clingy to her mom or dad at all?
Only at daycare. She is the baby of her family and her older sibling is gone most weekends with his dad. So I think she rarely is required to act her age. Mom dresses her, brushes her teeth, and lets her use a baby voice. She is not clingy to her mom and dad at all. Happy to see them when they pick her up but always happy to come to my house. We all ran into each other at a public event and I had to take her over to her mom when she wouldn't get off of my lap. Mom made the comment she would move in with me if she could. Says she asks if it's Monday yet all weekend long
That's a tough one for sure but I know every age comes a different stage so the first thing I try to look for is how new skills or development could affect the every day routine.

Imagination/fantasy play impacts this age a lot in my experience and a once secure child begins to exhibit fear of abandonment or having something bad happen that they may not have imagined or worried about before so it could be her own development that is working against her.

Is she able to express to you why she isn't wanting to go off an play like she used to or why she seems to be a bit clingier than normal? Sometimes they really do know the answer.
She just says she loves me or misses me. I wondered if maybe there were things going on at home. I've asked her how her evenings were. She always says good with a positive story attached. I ask her if she ever gets upset or scared at home. She says no.

It might be just a phase, but I've never had a kid be this attached to me and something about it just seems a bit off. IDK
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e.j. 02:09 PM 05-10-2019
I had a 4 year old that acted similarly. It turned out the family had several close friends who had recently had babies and for some reason, dcg must have decided it would be nice to be a baby again. It also coincided with her enrollment in part time preschool so maybe just a case of not being quite ready to grow up yet?? Despite discouraging the baby behavior, it didn't stop until after she left for kindergarten. She comes here when school is out and while there's still a bit of baby talk, her behavior has changed and is closer to what it should be for her age. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice since I wasn't able to turn around my dc girl's behavior but maybe it's just a phase that she'll grow out of before too long?
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Tags:4 year old, clingy
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