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  #1  
Old 04-22-2010, 10:35 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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Default Thanks for the Backbone

I borrowed someones backbone,..not sure whose,.... thanks, can I keep it until monday?

I know better,.. Ive done this for over 21 years,.. I know better. but,...

I have a parent who Ive allowed to take advantage of me,... she is behind 480 bucks,..

she kept him home this week as her yearly free vacation week because she cant pay.
she wrote me a check friday,for 100 and said the following friday she would pay me the balance on her account . she asked me to keep check until monday because her check was deposited after 4pm. I understand that,.. my bank has the same policy. but monday morning she sent me a text (I was in indy with husband for spine surgery and she knew I wouldnt be going to the bank.) the text said that her deposit was showing in her account but not cleared yet. And mine has done that too,.. so can I hold it until she lets me know it is clear,..


I was in indy, my husband was in surgery for a life altering operation, and I didnt really think about it so said,.. yes.

well today she calls,.. says,.. hey can I just pay you cash today and take that check back? I said sure,.. I was sending son to the bank at 2 and needed the money for my house payment. So she says,..
so you want me to come over today and give you cash for the check right?

(she was ASTONISHED, normally I would say just bring it tomorrow, but Im tired of being lied to, Ive already worked the hours, and I deserve to be paid)

I said yes,...that I would put it in the bank as soon as she got here. then I ask about the rest of the amount. She says she will be paying me cash for 200 of it friday but wont get off work until 6 and so she can be here by 7 with it.

Normally I would have said,.. oh just wait until monday to pay me all of it , then monday she would come in with partial payment,... like 60 bucks. and some lame excuse,...
I would let it go because Hey,.. Im miss Jill,.. Im the nice one.

but I said,.. "thats fine, bring me the 100 now, then 200 tomorrow after work. We arent doing anything but healing from surgery. "

she was in shock,.I actually said bring it to me now,.. not hey its ok, next week is fine. first time ever I havent caved in to her. Its my fault for not being firm. My contract states pay in full prior to care but he is so sweet,.... I love him. thats my weakness. . do I think she will show up? NO. Do I think she has any hope of getting caught up? NO. Do I think Im ever going to be paid in full,.. not for several months until she gets scared and asks her mom to. But,.... Am I going to text her at 215 if she hasnt shown up,.. yes,.... and again at 330.
Then tomorrow morning Im reminding her to bring cash. early so it credits my account before the cutoff. Then going to require a payment monday morning at dropoff.

Because while I talk a tough game, these little monkeys just crawl into my heart and I cant bear to think of them in the care of someone who will tv and crate them for the day. so I have allowed her to bring him. if he isnt here his uncle keeps him. He stays in a pack and play and watches cartoons, and eats mcdonalds. ugh.

so I guess Im keeping the backbone and focusing on talking to her about money every chance I get until I get her caught up, and paid in advance. Hope noone here needs it.
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  #2  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:00 AM
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momofboys momofboys is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
I borrowed someones backbone,..not sure whose,.... thanks, can I keep it until monday?

I know better,.. Ive done this for over 21 years,.. I know better. but,...

I have a parent who Ive allowed to take advantage of me,... she is behind 480 bucks,..

she kept him home this week as her yearly free vacation week because she cant pay.
she wrote me a check friday,for 100 and said the following friday she would pay me the balance on her account . she asked me to keep check until monday because her check was deposited after 4pm. I understand that,.. my bank has the same policy. but monday morning she sent me a text (I was in indy with husband for spine surgery and she knew I wouldnt be going to the bank.) the text said that her deposit was showing in her account but not cleared yet. And mine has done that too,.. so can I hold it until she lets me know it is clear,..


I was in indy, my husband was in surgery for a life altering operation, and I didnt really think about it so said,.. yes.

well today she calls,.. says,.. hey can I just pay you cash today and take that check back? I said sure,.. I was sending son to the bank at 2 and needed the money for my house payment. So she says,..
so you want me to come over today and give you cash for the check right?

(she was ASTONISHED, normally I would say just bring it tomorrow, but Im tired of being lied to, Ive already worked the hours, and I deserve to be paid)

I said yes,...that I would put it in the bank as soon as she got here. then I ask about the rest of the amount. She says she will be paying me cash for 200 of it friday but wont get off work until 6 and so she can be here by 7 with it.

Normally I would have said,.. oh just wait until monday to pay me all of it , then monday she would come in with partial payment,... like 60 bucks. and some lame excuse,...
I would let it go because Hey,.. Im miss Jill,.. Im the nice one.

but I said,.. "thats fine, bring me the 100 now, then 200 tomorrow after work. We arent doing anything but healing from surgery. "

she was in shock,.I actually said bring it to me now,.. not hey its ok, next week is fine. first time ever I havent caved in to her. Its my fault for not being firm. My contract states pay in full prior to care but he is so sweet,.... I love him. thats my weakness. . do I think she will show up? NO. Do I think she has any hope of getting caught up? NO. Do I think Im ever going to be paid in full,.. not for several months until she gets scared and asks her mom to. But,.... Am I going to text her at 215 if she hasnt shown up,.. yes,.... and again at 330.
Then tomorrow morning Im reminding her to bring cash. early so it credits my account before the cutoff. Then going to require a payment monday morning at dropoff.

Because while I talk a tough game, these little monkeys just crawl into my heart and I cant bear to think of them in the care of someone who will tv and crate them for the day. so I have allowed her to bring him. if he isnt here his uncle keeps him. He stays in a pack and play and watches cartoons, and eats mcdonalds. ugh.

so I guess Im keeping the backbone and focusing on talking to her about money every chance I get until I get her caught up, and paid in advance. Hope noone here needs it.
it is hard to have a backbone, I know! Chin up, you are doing a good job & I applaud you for telling her you needed the $$$ now, not tomorrow or Monday. How is your husband doing?
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  #3  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:05 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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on the husband subject,.. not well. He is sooo lucky I love him. =-)
pain meds every two - three hours. He has to have help turning, rolling, standing, etc. He hates being cooped up. his incision looks good, his original pain is better, balance improving. But wow,... GROUCHY! The surgeon called yesterday and alleviated his concerns about the pain. They were very invasive with their 'exploration'. Which in my own terms means they dug the crap out of his back. and werent too gentle with it. Today is better than yesterday though,.. and hoping tomorrow is better still. Thanks for asking.
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  #4  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:19 AM
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Wow, that is a serious situation and I feel for you. I too feel like I get "stepped" on more than I get the actual respect that I should be getting. I'm a younger provider and also new to "home" daycare so I'm just afraid I will lose all my families by being "firm".
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  #5  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:23 AM
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Good for you...so sorry for hubby! Here is to a speedy recovery!
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  #6  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:25 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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a very wise woman once said,.. "noone can make you feel inferior, without your consent"...... now only if I could listen to that.
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  #7  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:29 AM
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Laundry, I try and I TRY to remember that quote! I unfortunately just have the personality of a (should be) beagle. I WANT to please and be liked....yes, I know...I do not like this trait but there isn't much I can do about it.

On a side note, I have an AWFUL beagle and she NEVER wants to please me so that's why I said "should be". HAHA!
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  #8  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:33 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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Yeah, im not a beagle,.. but rather a fluffy mixed breed. Just happy to be loved and needed. As long as Im fed everyones happy. But lately,.. my bowl has been empty and I think Im turning into the mangy stray! lol. I might bite! lol
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  #9  
Old 04-22-2010, 11:38 AM
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Default Yay!

Oh laundryduchess I am so proud of you for stading up for yourself. Just make sure you follow through so that you don't look like you are just making empty threats.
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  #10  
Old 04-22-2010, 12:05 PM
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momofsix momofsix is offline
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Good for you Laundry! Maybe when they were working on your husband's back, they slipped you some of his backbone!
Hope all goes well with his recovery.
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  #11  
Old 04-22-2010, 12:40 PM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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Default backbone update

yeah me!~!~!~~!

I texted her,...
when will u be here? my son is waiting to take the deposit.
get back
go ahead and use the check, it will be ok, my check will be deopsited tomorrow

.
so I text her,.. dont we have the same bank?
she says.
do you use xyz bank, I thought you used rst bank?


so I look,.. yep she changed banks,... so I call her bank,.. funds not available.
so I text back to her,.. the bank transfers are immediate,.. you can not float checks. Im sending him to the bank without your check. so she says,.. Ill bring over cash right now,...
then she calls me,.. she says she is on her way.
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  #12  
Old 04-22-2010, 12:50 PM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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shock and awe,.. she showed up with 80 bucks cash and said she would be here tomorrow around 7 with more cash.
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  #13  
Old 04-22-2010, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
yeah me!~!~!~~!

I texted her,...
when will u be here? my son is waiting to take the deposit.
get back
go ahead and use the check, it will be ok, my check will be deopsited tomorrow

.
so I text her,.. dont we have the same bank?
she says.
do you use xyz bank, I thought you used rst bank?


so I look,.. yep she changed banks,... so I call her bank,.. funds not available.
so I text back to her,.. the bank transfers are immediate,.. you can not float checks. Im sending him to the bank without your check. so she says,.. Ill bring over cash right now,...
then she calls me,.. she says she is on her way.
Keep it up. You are on a roll! Sounds like she was trying to get you to back down but you stood your ground.
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  #14  
Old 04-22-2010, 12:52 PM
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momma2girls momma2girls is offline
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OMG!!! THis is so ridiculous!! Place late fees in your contract soon, and stick by them if not paid on your payday. My payday is on Mon. the 1st day of the week of daycare. GOod luck!!
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Old 04-22-2010, 02:00 PM
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booroo booroo is offline
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Wow that's amazing!!!! Can you give me some.... I have one parent that has never paid me, out 400.00 when I started to push, they droped daycare!! 1 parent is behind and the other is trying for state assistance!! God help me I need a back bone!!
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  #16  
Old 04-23-2010, 08:38 AM
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boysx5 boysx5 is offline
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I had to live and learn the hard way but after doing this for so long I know don't put up with not being paid. I always tell them how would you like if your work told you that they forgot your check would you go back and work if you were not getting paid that usually shuts them up. Right now I have been really lucky to have great families
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Old 04-23-2010, 09:56 AM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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Unfortunately in this business it's very common for payments to get backed up. When I first started I was so scared of this that I began with offering payment in advance. If a parent comes and hasn't paid and they forget their money or don't have it I cringe and the thought of their DC fees accumulating and me not able to afford food or groceries and my child going hungry and not being able to pay my mortage and my family going homeless all go by in my mind in a split second. I am clearly mortified of not being paid that the words "Oh, well I bet if you run home really quick you won't run too late" just fall out of my mouth. I even make them take the child back with them for fear that they may just go straight to work. And I have to admit that a HUGE part of the reason that I can't cave is my finace. I'd have to explain to him why I let someone get behind and believe me I'd rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than to have to do that.

Good for you Laundry!! And I know exactly what you mean. I never really have problems with the children themselves, it's always with the parents. Hopefully she'll be caught up soon. Just keep at it. ANd keep us updated!

Quote:
Originally Posted by booroo View Post
I have one parent that has never paid me, out 400.00 when I started to push, they droped daycare!! 1 parent is behind and the other is trying for state assistance!! God help me I need a back bone!!
Wow! $400?! I hope you're thinking about sending them to collections or to court. For that amount of money I think it would be totally worth it. Looks like you'll need to borrow that backbone from Laundry, either that or you can use my paranoia and fear lol. How behind is your other family?
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Old 04-23-2010, 10:05 AM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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I have fees in my contract, I just have let this family take advantage. I dont know why,... single mom, dad is there for a bit then not. I just allow it to happen. But Im tired of being a doormat.
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  #19  
Old 04-26-2010, 08:43 AM
judytrickett
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com View Post
But Im tired of being a doormat.

Good for you!! Feels good to ask for what YOU want/need, doesn't it?

Keep it up!
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  #20  
Old 04-26-2010, 09:30 AM
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After yrs. of doing this and being taken advantage of time after time. You come to realize it is so not worth it anymore, and you will learn to put your foot down time after time after time!!! It does get easier!!! It sucks!!
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