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Old 05-13-2010, 07:17 AM
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Default Biting - My Child

I know there have been plenty of posts about biting but I wanted some perspective for my situation. My son is 2 1/2, I care for a 2 year old boy & typically the two boys play together very well. Yes, they have their "fights" over toys etc but usually they are very good. My son get get overly excited sometimes & will play bite the other little boy. When he does this I always check to make sure that he has not broken the skin. He never has to my knowledge, I don't even see teeth marks. Still I will tell him "No biting" & will make him sit in time-out b/c I really don't even want him to pretend to bite for fear that he actually will. Earlier this week the DC boy threw up & I had quite a mess to clean up since he actually vomited TWICE before mom arrived. While I was cleaning up with the boys near me but not in my sight the little boy who vomited was fussing some but I thought it was b/c he was upset from throwin up. I didn't think much of it but continued to quickly clean up & do some light disinfecting. After I was finished I comforted him as we waited for his mom to come. When she came in today she mentioned that he had a set of teeth marks on his back! I was so shocked. She said she understood & knew it was not my fault because she knows that kids will do that sometimes. I apologized profusely knowing that my son likely did do it & I was unaware. Really the little boy was hardly crying at all so I was quite surprised that it happened here but I guess it is possible. I promised to watch for similar behavior but really I don't know 100% that is happened here. I did ask my son & he said he did it but he's only 2 1/2 so who knows if he really did. The part that really bugged me though was when she said she didn't tell her husband b/c he would have been so steamed. That bothered me a TON b/c she is always making these comments about Tim would say this or Tim would say that like he thinks I am such an awful person. I already know that he thinks I make too much $$$ (mom as much said so, she told me that Tim would not be happy if they had to pay for ANY time that the kids did not come & wanted a lower B & A rate, etc). . . I am sort of on the low end for my part of the state so no, I really don't make THAT much $$$ for caring for your precious little ones. Okay, I feel a little better now. I just really needed to vent.
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Old 05-13-2010, 07:49 AM
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missnikki missnikki is offline
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It sounds to me like you might want to make stopping the biting your first priority, so that you can be one step ahead of the mom. I know as a mom, I would appreciate hearing an update at pick up ("I didn't see any biting today", or "I've been working with ____ about no biting, and I'm watching closely to make sure he's out of that phase.", etc...)
It might soothe her to know you are on it. Also, check the other boy out, head to toe, before pick up just to be safe.
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Old 05-13-2010, 07:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missnikki View Post
It sounds to me like you might want to make stopping the biting your first priority, so that you can be one step ahead of the mom. I know as a mom, I would appreciate hearing an update at pick up ("I didn't see any biting today", or "I've been working with ____ about no biting, and I'm watching closely to make sure he's out of that phase.", etc...)
It might soothe her to know you are on it. Also, check the other boy out, head to toe, before pick up just to be safe.
I agree 100% & I plan to do so & keep her updated.
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:09 AM
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Red face

Janarae,
after I posted that, I thoguht to myself, DUH, of COURSE that's what she'll do!! I apologize if I sounded condescending...lack of coffee makes me Captain Obvious sometimes.
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:15 AM
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At the dc my kids went to many moons ago, they had issues with a child biting, the parents signed a form that they could give the child a small spoon of lemon juice each time they would bite....said it didn't take but a couple spoons and it didn't happen again. Good luck.
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac60 View Post
At the dc my kids went to many moons ago, they had issues with a child biting, the parents signed a form that they could give the child a small spoon of lemon juice each time they would bite....said it didn't take but a couple spoons and it didn't happen again. Good luck.
It might works but not always. Both of my daughters love to eat lemon alone. Well, it is my husband's fault because he was trying to feed both of them when they were infants because he thinks it would be funny if they show silly expression. Now they are 9 and almost 8 years old still eat the lemons. Yikes!
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:32 AM
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yea, my own daughter used to always ask for the lemon wedge in a restaurant.
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:38 AM
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Any other suggestions other than lemons? I'm not talking about a DCK either...this is for a friend.
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Old 05-13-2010, 08:45 AM
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Originally Posted by emosks View Post
Any other suggestions other than lemons? I'm not talking about a DCK either...this is for a friend.
Another one I've heard of being used is vinegar.
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:19 AM
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There is always the tried and true gentle pop, squirt of dish soap, or the bite them back. Always worked when we were kids.
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:37 AM
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I took a prefold diaper (burp rag) and put snaps on it to make a bib, then I sewed a set of baby keys with a 3 inch tether ribbon. (looked like a paci leash) if they were in a biting stage, I would put it on them, told them it was their biting bub and they could bite all they wanted.

it worked for kids over about 18 mo.
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Old 05-13-2010, 03:26 PM
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Thanks all for your suggestions. I should have clarified my original post but I was too distraught in a way to re-read & describe the situation properly. After she left & I had a chance to absorb what had happened I re-checked the little guy's back where the alleged bite occurred & on further examination I really couldn't tell if it was bite marks or not. Really it just looked like a little scrape & not necessarily a bite per se. My husband looked at it also when he got home without knowing the situation & never said he thought it looked like a bite. He also questioned that if it was a bite how would he not scream out in pain? Truly when I was looking at it again I thought it could have come from a tumble down a slide or anything, really. The mom did say she "knew it couldn;t have happened at home" & I guess that is what bothered me the most (aside from her husband comment), I mean really????This is a toddler & you are 100% sure it did not happen at home? she did say that she understand accidents happen & that kids are kids but stil now I feel extra viligiant that I have to stand guard & make sure this little guy does not incur a single bump when he is here. It's weird in a way b/c he's never had an injury while in my care (for about 9 months) & now she makes a big deal about this. Just frustrating to me. . . I mean if my little guy did injure him I am sorry & I did tell her that but at the same time I'm a bit perturbed that I don't know that it happened here. IF it did the little guy was never screaming in pain. Ughhhhhh I will be so glad when summer break is here in about 16 days. I am truly going to do some serious soul searching this summer as to whether I should continue in this profession or not.
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Old 05-13-2010, 04:52 PM
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I will say that not all the kids that have been bitten here "screamed out in pain". Some just cried out saying "No Susie, No Bite!". And some of the bites didn't even show the next day. I'm not saying that your child for sure did it...but I'm saying from my experience the mom could be right. Either way...it's not a fun situation to be in.
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Old 05-13-2010, 05:10 PM
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Unfortunately some parents don't understand that their little ones can get a fall, bruise, scratch, etc at home. I am sure they are not watching their own little one 100% of the time. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
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Old 05-13-2010, 09:48 PM
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i wouldn't take it so personally. any parent worries when their kid has a bruise or scratch (if it's pretty noticeable at least) and it hasn't been mentioned.

my son had some marks on his arm one time after leaving daycare which nobody mentioned - and the marks looked EXACTLY like fingernail marks - as if someone has grabbed his arm so hard that their fingernails scratched him and left scabs/bruises. i would like to think that would never happen, but crazier things have occured.

another time he had a HUGE scratch across his face - a deep scratch, and nobody could tell me what happened. there's no way he couldn't have screamed when it happened. no way. not to mention - when i picked him up, it was like i was the first one who had noticed it. i was like uhh...when's the last time you looked at him? a blind rat would've seen that. it would've been different if when i came in they were like, "he has a cut on his face and i don't know what happened. i've been watching him, but he never cried or anything."

i later started working at the same daycare and found out the lady who was caring for him when the fingernal marks happened couldn't stand her job. she ended up getting fired.

the lady who was caring for him when he had the mark on his face was texting on her cell phone ALL THE TIME! she even fell asleep once during nap time. this was in a room with abot 13/14 three year olds who DO wake up all the time to go potty or don't even go to sleep at all. a little different from a babysitter lying down to nap with a kid.

i would've never known or suspected any of those things would ever happen in a daycare unless i worked there and saw it for myself. it's disturbing, really, and you can't blame parents for worrying and asking questions. if i could turn back time, i wouldn't have left my kids with anyone other than a relative after seeing the things i have.

it's hard when you know that you would never do anything like that, but just think about some of the daycare horror stories we hear and try not to take it to heart.
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:32 AM
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Janarae, I was thinking about your situation yesterday, and wondering what I would do if that were happening here. My son must have overheard me thinking, because yesterday afternoon he attempted to bite my dcb out of frustration. He didn't actually bite him, but it's very possible he would have had I not intervened. They were fighting over a toy and he got very frustrated (he's almost 2) and he grabbed the dcb's head and started squeezing it! Then, he leaned forward and opened his mouth to bite! Had he succeeded, he would have bitten dcb on the face! My son has really been talking more, but he seems more frustrated than ever when we don't understand him, so I am guessing it's due to not being able to communicate what he wants effectively. Either way, I'll be his shadow for the next few weeks to make sure he doesn't do it again, and even then, I'm not sure I can keep it from happening every single time. This dcb was a biter for a few weeks several months ago, so luckily mom is very understanding.

Just wanted you to know you are not alone!
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Old 05-14-2010, 06:54 AM
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Thanks everyone for your replies. I do feel bad for the parent, particularly if my son did bite him. My son is a very good communicator & is very vocal for his age & as that has progressed any "bad" behavior such as pushing or play-biting has lessened. That is why I was surprised when she mentioned it. But it could have happened. It is truly possible. I too had children in a HDCP setting when I was working part-time outside of the home & I would have been a bit upset if it happened to my child but I would like to think I would have been understanding about the situation & willing to work things out. Thanks for all your thoughts. It has just really gotten me down though & makes me feel like she thinks I am a terrible provider. We have had a lot going on with this family lately so it makes this situation even worse. Lately I feel like I give, give & give to them (truly from the bottom of my heart). I do love the kids a lot. But I feel like all they do in return is take, take & take some more & are disrespectful of us in return. Vent over. . . it is beautiful outside so I plan to enjoy it with my son if he feels better.
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