In One Ear And Out The Other

[small_steps]

I have a mom that has been with me over a year. When I got her son he was about 10 months old. He pooped a lot here the first few months. When he got to be about 2 he stopped going here. I had mentioned it to her several times, especially on days he would actually go here I would say something like "johnny had a bm today. That's the first time he has had one here in a while." or if he has a really bad one I will say "johnny had a really bad diaper today...but he doesn't have them very often here so I didn't mind" and I usually just try to make a joke of it. So she knows he doesn't poop here very often.

Even yesterday she told me she was taking him to the doctor for heart burn she thought he was having. She called me before they left for the doctor and said the nurse on the phone suggested constipation and she said no..he goes all the time at home. And I said..ok...because he hardly ever goes here. She assured me he goes at home often. Then today she brings him back. Dr said to give him a tums and watch for constipation. She said he never goes at home, I thought he went at daycare! Are you kidding me? Didn't we just go over this. I said...no not very often does he go here.

Did she not listen to anything that I said? This is what frustrates me...when you go out of your way to even keep up with when an almost 3 year old has a bm and no one listens when you tell them something. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to open my mouth and speak when no one listens to a word I say.

[Zoe]

I'm right there with ya! Although the majority of the time it's with my own family....to which I do this:

How are you today Zoe?

I'm a little frustrated to be honest Zoe. How are you today?

I'm frustrated too Zoe!

Why?

Well because no one seems to hear me when I talk. So I guess I'll just talk to you Zoe.

Ok Zoe. Sounds good!


It gets a laugh from all in the room, but it doesn't seem to help any. Just lets out steam.

[e.j.]

Originally Posted by small_steps

I had mentioned it to her several times, especially on days he would actually go here I would say something like "johnny had a bm today. That's the first time he has had one here in a while." or if he has a really bad one I will say "johnny had a really bad diaper today...but he doesn't have them very often here so I didn't mind" and I usually just try to make a joke of it. So she knows he doesn't poop here very often. .......She said he never goes at home, I thought he went at daycare! Are you kidding me? Didn't we just go over this. I said...no not very often does he go here.

Sounds like she's focusing on the first part of your statements but stops paying attention after that. She may need a more direct communication style. "DCM, I'm concerned about your son because he rarely or never poops here at dc anymore. Is he pooping at home or are you seeing the same thing there, too?"

This isn't a criticism of you or your communication style so please don't take it that way, but maybe because you were making a joke of it, she might not have realized the level of concern you were trying to convey to her.

[small_steps]

Originally Posted by e.j.

Sounds like she's focusing on the first part of your statements but stops paying attention after that. She may need a more direct communication style. "DCM, I'm concerned about your son because he rarely or never poops here at dc anymore. Is he pooping at home or are you seeing the same thing there, too?"

This isn't a criticism of you or your communication style so please don't take it that way, but maybe because you were making a joke of it, she might not have realized the level of concern you were trying to convey to her.

That's he thing....I haven't been concerned about it until now because she has all along said he does go at home. Now that the doctor is making an issue of it she says he never goes at home. She contradicted herself is what I mean.

[e.j.]

Oops! I lost sight of what you had said in your second paragraph.
The contradiction really is odd, especially since it's only been a day. It's not like there was time for something to have changed drastically at home.

[familyschoolcare]

Maybe when the mom whent to the doctor the doctor corrected her (the mom) on how often is normal to go. My sister thought is was normal to go

once a week as long as that was what you normally did. Untell my nephew had problems and the doctor corected my sister way of thinking.

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Just a warning you may want to pass onto Mom. We went 7 years with my daughter and dealing with constipation and heartburn. We saw dr after dr who treated the symptoms, not the problem. They kept saying she just wasnt eating enough fiber, or not drinking enough water. She was on prescription medicine for heartburn, acid reflux and constipation for 2 years before we finally got a referral to a specialist.
Turns out she had a food allergy. I would urge the Mom to ask her primary dr for a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist. The one we saw diagnosed her with the allergy within 5 minutes of examining her. Finally after 7 years of my daughter being sick, she was diagnosed properly, and is now doing great.