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Old 03-28-2016, 10:15 AM
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Default Anxiety and Running a HCC...

Let me start out by saying I absolutely love my job. When you get to work for yourself, set your own hours, decide which kids you help care for, decide which parents to work with/who not to work with and to spend my days watching children play and learn in my safely created enviroment is pretty awesome. I love it and don't think I could ever go back to working for someone else.

I am finding a lot of my days are filled with anxiety. I don't have panic attacks or anxiety attacks, it's just constant worry. I'm always watching the clock - not because I can't wait to close up but because I am anxious about parents arrivals. I get fidgety around 4 because I know that's when it'll start, and from 4-6 (close) I am biting my nails and watching the window. I could not tell you why. I have nightmares through the night that I'm going to sleep through my alarm and miss a parent knocking on the door at 7:30. I wake up every 20 mins or so from 6 a.m on, checking my phone to make sure I'm still clear to sleep. It's absolutely exhausting and it's starting to take it's toll!

I've scaled down so much, I only have 2 DCK's and my son. State of FL says I can only have 3 more but this anxiety/constant anxiousness is prohibiting me from being successful. I'm finding I am immediately wanting to turn potential families down because I know each child I add into my care will add 2 more arrivals each day. I can't seem to relax at all and realize this happens every day. I also realized that I feel very hot and sweaty when parents arrive and most of the time I forget to tell them certain things about their childs day because I am so flustered and nervous while they are picking up.

I have thought about scheduled times but the daycare children I have now both signed up with me knowing they had varying schedules. My infants mom is in the same time every morning but gets off at different times. She is pretty good about texting me when she is on her way if she is going to be earlier than usual so she makes me feel better. My other DCK's father sends me a text each week with her schedule but I still find myself so anxious. In my head, my day stops around 4 and the remaining 2 hours are preparing/thinking about pick ups.

Does this sound crazy?!
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  #2  
Old 03-28-2016, 10:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Let me start out by saying I absolutely love my job. When you get to work for yourself, set your own hours, decide which kids you help care for, decide which parents to work with/who not to work with and to spend my days watching children play and learn in my safely created enviroment is pretty awesome. I love it and don't think I could ever go back to working for someone else.

I am finding a lot of my days are filled with anxiety. I don't have panic attacks or anxiety attacks, it's just constant worry. I'm always watching the clock - not because I can't wait to close up but because I am anxious about parents arrivals. I get fidgety around 4 because I know that's when it'll start, and from 4-6 (close) I am biting my nails and watching the window. I could not tell you why. I have nightmares through the night that I'm going to sleep through my alarm and miss a parent knocking on the door at 7:30. I wake up every 20 mins or so from 6 a.m on, checking my phone to make sure I'm still clear to sleep. It's absolutely exhausting and it's starting to take it's toll!

I've scaled down so much, I only have 2 DCK's and my son. State of FL says I can only have 3 more but this anxiety/constant anxiousness is prohibiting me from being successful. I'm finding I am immediately wanting to turn potential families down because I know each child I add into my care will add 2 more arrivals each day. I can't seem to relax at all and realize this happens every day. I also realized that I feel very hot and sweaty when parents arrive and most of the time I forget to tell them certain things about their childs day because I am so flustered and nervous while they are picking up.

I have thought about scheduled times but the daycare children I have now both signed up with me knowing they had varying schedules. My infants mom is in the same time every morning but gets off at different times. She is pretty good about texting me when she is on her way if she is going to be earlier than usual so she makes me feel better. My other DCK's father sends me a text each week with her schedule but I still find myself so anxious. In my head, my day stops around 4 and the remaining 2 hours are preparing/thinking about pick ups.

Does this sound crazy?!
Actually, I haven't been able to pinpoint what my problem is until you just described me exactly in your post. I even have most of my parents coming right around the same time every day, but the occasional early pick up throws me through a loop. I started noticing other things in my life that get me really anxious too and actually set up an appointment with a therapist next month. So, no you're definitely not crazy or alone, but I feel we need to get it under control! I'll follow this thread and let you know if I come up with anything that works.
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Old 03-28-2016, 11:46 AM
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I too dread drop off and pick up times each day. I am always worried I will say the wrong thing, or that they will just walk I to my home unannounced like one DCM used to do. I am glad to see the kids come and go, but I hate dealing with their parents for no particular reason.
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Old 03-28-2016, 11:52 AM
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I don't mind drop off so much, but pick up makes me anxious. Mostly because I have one family who's pick up window is all over. Its one of the many reasons I looking for other jobs
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Old 03-28-2016, 11:54 AM
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It sounds to me like you should speak to your doctor. If it is affecting you that much, perhaps you need some light meds to help. I have depression and anxiety. My meds help so much. I couldn't live without them because I don't want to go back to living that way!
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Old 03-28-2016, 11:56 AM
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I completely understand and I was like this for my first 2-2.5 years. I have 12 children each day so you can imagine the kind of anxiety that put me through! Are you somewhat new in the daycare field? Could time be something that helps?

Time has greatly helped, having parents come at a regular time helps, and making sure I'm mentally healthy helps. When my anxiety starts rearing up again I take GABA at night and I make sure I'm getting enough exercise in the day and nutritious foods. That certainly helps.
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Old 03-28-2016, 11:57 AM
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I don't mind drop off so much, but pick up makes me anxious. Mostly because I have one family who's pick up window is all over. Its one of the many reasons I looking for other jobs
Can you ask them to commit to one 20 minute window to help your anxiety? I'd rather get rid of a family causing me anxiety than to continue being anxious each day!
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:27 PM
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Can you ask them to commit to one 20 minute window to help your anxiety? I'd rather get rid of a family causing me anxiety than to continue being anxious each day!
They are gone in June. This was the family who assured me they'd never be late, understood had a life, etc. and the only family I've ever had to charge a late fee to

This is a small town and they are very well connected so I'm trying to put up with it until they go. They mentioned needing summer care but I'm going to probably be closed or full the days they need...
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:40 PM
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I felt this same way! So nice to know I am not alone! I think my major issue is that I like to work with kids because they don't judge me, they look to me for support, wisdom, love, ect. Parents, however, are another matter. I feel they are judging me and my home, think they know everything, never take my advice seriously, ect. My fun day with the kids can end in a matter of seconds with just one comment from a parent. It makes me feel very nervous and anxious and that is why I have kids ready to go and keep the convo short and sweet. The relief I feel once they have left is huge. I never knew others felt like this as well, so thank you for this post and for letting me know I am not alone!
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Let me start out by saying I absolutely love my job. When you get to work for yourself, set your own hours, decide which kids you help care for, decide which parents to work with/who not to work with and to spend my days watching children play and learn in my safely created enviroment is pretty awesome. I love it and don't think I could ever go back to working for someone else.

I am finding a lot of my days are filled with anxiety. I don't have panic attacks or anxiety attacks, it's just constant worry. I'm always watching the clock - not because I can't wait to close up but because I am anxious about parents arrivals. I get fidgety around 4 because I know that's when it'll start, and from 4-6 (close) I am biting my nails and watching the window. I could not tell you why. I have nightmares through the night that I'm going to sleep through my alarm and miss a parent knocking on the door at 7:30. I wake up every 20 mins or so from 6 a.m on, checking my phone to make sure I'm still clear to sleep. It's absolutely exhausting and it's starting to take it's toll!

I've scaled down so much, I only have 2 DCK's and my son. State of FL says I can only have 3 more but this anxiety/constant anxiousness is prohibiting me from being successful. I'm finding I am immediately wanting to turn potential families down because I know each child I add into my care will add 2 more arrivals each day. I can't seem to relax at all and realize this happens every day. I also realized that I feel very hot and sweaty when parents arrive and most of the time I forget to tell them certain things about their childs day because I am so flustered and nervous while they are picking up.

I have thought about scheduled times but the daycare children I have now both signed up with me knowing they had varying schedules. My infants mom is in the same time every morning but gets off at different times. She is pretty good about texting me when she is on her way if she is going to be earlier than usual so she makes me feel better. My other DCK's father sends me a text each week with her schedule but I still find myself so anxious. In my head, my day stops around 4 and the remaining 2 hours are preparing/thinking about pick ups.

Does this sound crazy?!
Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one that experienced this! I experience this every day too; both at drop off and pick-up. For me, it's because I'm a perfectionist and everything has to be "perfect". It's the most frustrating "quality" I have and it drives me crazy in many areas of my life! I also look through the window like crazy! I don't even know why! It's not that I'm hiding anything, I just obsessively look through the window! And it really doesn't help when one of the parents sits in the driveway for 15 minutes. I can't handle it. It's not that I'm just ready for their kid to leave (that's part of it LOL), it just makes me so anxious for some reason. I know I didn't give any advice, but hopefully it's nice to know you're not alone!!
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boymom View Post
Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one that experienced this! I experience this every day too; both at drop off and pick-up. For me, it's because I'm a perfectionist and everything has to be "perfect". It's the most frustrating "quality" I have and it drives me crazy in many areas of my life! I also look through the window like crazy! I don't even know why! It's not that I'm hiding anything, I just obsessively look through the window! And it really doesn't help when one of the parents sits in the driveway for 15 minutes. I can't handle it. It's not that I'm just ready for their kid to leave (that's part of it LOL), it just makes me so anxious for some reason. I know I didn't give any advice, but hopefully it's nice to know you're not alone!!
Oh my gosh I cannot believe you all feel this way too!!

I am cracking up at you, I am the SAME way when they sit in the driveway forever. Where do I stand? Do I sit down? Do I answer the door before they knock because of course they know I know they are here..LOL! Ohhhh lord. Our brains are too much, I swear.
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Old 03-28-2016, 01:53 PM
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I dealt with this as well and wrote a post about it a few months ago! You are not alone. I am an introvert and my own negative thinking was what was causing me so much anxiety.

Can you pinpoint what you are thinking that is creating the anxiety? For me it was a desperate need to appear perfect when parents arrived. I had a lot of negative thinking around what would they think of me. Once I started challenging those thoughts and getting back to the actual present moment instead of living in the future "what if" things got a LOT better.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:17 PM
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Definitely see the doctor. I didn't even realize I was suffering from anxiety. Zoloft helps. No shame in getting help, and no reason to suffer.
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:28 PM
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your not alone at all.

I am a deep thinker. I am not quick to blurt out an answer and it makes me feel inadequate. I am not the best at small talk either, especially when you say the same thing everyday to a parent/several parents.

I think much of it has to do with feeling on the spot all the time and the need to be perfect because of all the negatives that can happen if we are not in this line of work.

What helps me is to remind myself that these people are just people too. They have the same worries and issues. I don't give up I keep on keeping on. Working on stressors and coping mechanisms.

Sometimes it does feel like we wish our days away. I really don't but it seems like it at times. I tell myself make everyday count, and this helps me to get busy, and not get fixated on the window or door. The end of the day we are ready to be done just as the children are ready to move on and go home. Asking the parents to commit to a time that they are picking up and dropping off helps. I tell my parents that I need to be able to plan my day so I need timely drop offs and pick ups. For the parent that has that rotating schedule ask them to text before they leave so you can have the child ready and know and be able to plan your day better.

Hope this helps. I am enjoying the responses and helps of this thread. For me anxiety stinks. I don't want to be medicated (no issues for those that are, need to be etc) I just don't want to be, so I look for solutions that work and can help me to manage better.

I also put it in my contract/hand/rule book to please do not sit in the driveway. Come in or leave. It causes anxiety for all. It does. Do they still do it ........yes. If it bothers me I say something if I can let it go, I say nothing. The flip side to it is that I don't want them texing and driving either. That is not my worry to own either.

Best-
3cents~
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Old 03-28-2016, 03:34 PM
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This lady and website changed my life!

www.thework.com
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  #16  
Old 03-28-2016, 05:37 PM
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Try changing up your schedule - like have the kids coloring or reading books when parents pick up.
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Old 03-29-2016, 06:00 PM
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Thank you all so much for making it known I'm not alone or crazy. Our minds are so powerful, it's crazy! I do feel the whole 'wanting to appear perfect' or on top of things when parents come in is accurate. There's obviously more to it than just that but it is a big deal to me. I tried today to stop in my rush of thoughts and pinpoint what I'm worrying about. I obsess over making sure their diapers are dry and faces are clean but with 3 littles under 2 thats not always going to happen. All I can do is try my best and not stress. I definitely do not want to be on medication but I have done some research on some natural supplements/herbs to help reduce it and to help relax today. Lavender lemonade has rave reviews for chilling out. Kava root capsules also. Thank you all so much
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