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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>3yo Physically Testing Boundaries
Pestle 12:35 PM 03-27-2018
I have a 3yo who is in a boundary-testing phase. I have narrowed down the boundaries to the ones I really want to enforce--stay inside the day care area; don't play with the gates; don't touch the babies. Unfortunately, I don't have any way of actually enforcing these boundaries, since she's old enough to scale/bust down anything she puts her mind to and won't stay any place I put her.

I need advice from the folks who have their kids trained not to touch. This kid is old enough to understand that the biggest problem she can create is the one created by breaking the rules, so she'll get her knickers in a twist over something like no seconds on milk when she didn't eat anything else, then walk over to the gate, make eye contact with me, and mutter "touch" while she pokes it.

She does the same at home, according to her mom. It started a few weeks ago. Mainly I'm concerned over safety re: staying inside the gates and not hurting the other kids. All of my kids are up and walking but she's the oldest and she wants to be "helpful" by, for instance, picking up a crying toddler or putting shoes onto the other kids. I have one who's going through a phase where he'll put an elbow into the face of anybody who strays into his reach, so I'm already keeping the group split up and I'm out of gates. Anyway, she just opens them and then gasps in shock when she realizes I was watching the whole time. But I'm at a loss for a way to modify the environment or otherwise make it harder for her to break these core rules. She'll wail and apologize if I remove privileges afterward, but in the moment, I can't think of a way to get her off the gates/other kids short of duct taping her to the ceiling, and while prison sounds restful, I'm seeking legal problem-solving advice.
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Pestle 12:48 PM 03-27-2018
I want to clarify that she's not trying to escape the house or anything; she just wants whatever's on the other side of the gate and won't take the time to ask me.

I also want to crab that, while I was typing this up, Mr. Elbow, who's been in solitary confinement on one side of the gate due to a halfhearted throat-punch to the 16mo, picked up two toy trains and flung them both at my Chromebook screen. And I've got the shrieker today, too, and my fourth kid just realized she's a 2yo and is getting pushy and grabby. Everybody's entered a completely different challenging phase all at the same time.
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Pestle 10:53 AM 03-28-2018
*Sings in Eddie Murphy voice* I'm all alone. . . there's no one here. . . be-SIDE me!

*Switches to Bette Midler voice*
And my PROB-BLEMS have all goooooone [because these blessed children all napped at the same time today]
There is no one to deride me [because they're asleep! ASLEEP! ]
Uhbutcha got ta have FRIE-E-ENDS
The feeling [of relief when your 3yo DCG has a good day]'s oh so strong
Ya got ta have FRIE-E-ENDS
Because the daycare day's so LOOOOOOOONG

Seriously though. Any recommendations for wrangling this kiddo?

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hwichlaz 03:51 PM 03-29-2018
I’ve switched to gates that they can’t climb and can’t come down easily. Paired with wall protectors screwed into the walls.

It’s a mesh gate with a top and bottom bar that adjust separately. Even Flow Soft and Wide Gate.
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Tags:3 year old, boundaries, testing boundaries
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