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  #1  
Old 10-12-2016, 04:43 PM
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Default Saying "Nope"? Priceless

So awhile back a started 2 new families. One is a family that I had a feeling would push policies and have the "I'm your boss" outlook on daycare.

Tuesday I got to 'teach' her a little on how it actually works. She shows up at 7:30 on the dot for drop off. Tells me that she has to be at work at 7:30am all this week, she'll be dropping DCG off early so she can get to work on time.

Me: Oh, that's not going good to work DCM, I open at 7:30am.

DCM blankly stares at me: what?

Me: I open at 7:30am.

Smile and say nothing else. Return her stare.

DCM: oh... then I'll have to figure something out... but I'll be here on the dot 7:30... if that's ok...?

"That's fine with me for this week! I'll wave my fees for early drop off this week only, but in the future it'll cost you $30 per day extra to drop off before you normal drop off time of 7:45am." Smile and "have a good day at work!"

DCM: yes... thank you... you too.

And yes, I know I should have just charged her. Or not open my doors. I thought she was my 7:30 family... but proud of myself for saying something at all! And not choking or getting cotton mouth while doing it!! Yeah for improvement! It was nice saying nope to her 'special' of opening before 7:30am!

Side info: DCM is kinda the bully/bossy type. The fact that she reverted to asking and saying thank you was payment enough this week, that behavoir followed over to today also.
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Old 10-12-2016, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Denali View Post
So awhile back a started 2 new families. One is a family that I had a feeling would push policies and have the "I'm your boss" outlook on daycare.

Tuesday I got to 'teach' her a little on how it actually works. She shows up at 7:30 on the dot for drop off. Tells me that she has to be at work at 7:30am all this week, she'll be dropping DCG off early so she can get to work on time.

Me: Oh, that's not going good to work DCM, I open at 7:30am.

DCM blankly stares at me: what?

Me: I open at 7:30am.

Smile and say nothing else. Return her stare.

DCM: oh... then I'll have to figure something out... but I'll be here on the dot 7:30... if that's ok...?

"That's fine with me for this week! I'll wave my fees for early drop off this week only, but in the future it'll cost you $30 per day extra to drop off before you normal drop off time of 7:45am." Smile and "have a good day at work!"

DCM: yes... thank you... you too.

And yes, I know I should have just charged her. Or not open my doors. I thought she was my 7:30 family... but proud of myself for saying something at all! And not choking or getting cotton mouth while doing it!! Yeah for improvement! It was nice saying nope to her 'special' of opening before 7:30am!

Side info: DCM is kinda the bully/bossy type. The fact that she reverted to asking and saying thank you was payment enough this week, that behavoir followed over to today also.
Good for you! It feels good to stand up for yourself!
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  #3  
Old 10-12-2016, 08:06 PM
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I had a long time parent text me at 8:30PM a few weeks ago.

I'll be dropping dcg off at 5:30AM tomorrow.

Me: Sorry, but I don't open until 7 now.

I have to be at work at 6AM.

Me: Sorry. Maybe you can take her to grandmother's house.

Ok. I'll be there at 7AM.

This particular parent has requested a 6AM drop off numerous times and not shown up until almost 7. She burned that early drop off bridge.
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  #4  
Old 10-12-2016, 10:32 PM
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Yes! It feels good to stand up for yourself! It wasn't perfect, but I was proud!

I can't believe that a parent would do that, knowing that you don't open that early, but saying I'm dropping off at that time... that kind of thing bothers me, but I used to have a hard time saying "No" but not anymore! it's nice to say no! Good for you for saying nope! That power is priceless!!

Opening early for anyone has never worked out for me. Never. Anytime I've ever given someone the ok to drop off before 7:30am they have always spiraled out of control and gone crazy... within a few weeks. Then I say no because I'm not letting them drop off at 6am and keeping their kids to 7pm, no I'm not washing the bag of laundry you brought, no if your kid is vomiting in the enter They can not stay, no your kid can NOT take my xBox for the weekend! I don't care if your now yelling at me because your kid is screaming bloody murder at you. NO!!!!!!!

Than I'd term, and they go even more crazy...

I've done it 7 times in 5 years. Never. Again.

The power to say "Nope!" is truly priceless. 😁

Anyone else have good "priceless" moments? 😄
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Old 10-13-2016, 12:18 AM
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A new(ish) client picked up 1/2 hour late without calling and didn't answer the text I sent her. It was before my closing time but I do contracted hours and their rates reflect their contracted pick up time. I had closed early the day before and this was scheduled before she even enrolled. I suddenly realized that every time I closed early for an appointment (usually 15 minutes) she'd show up late the next day. She had only been late a few minutes (less than 15) the other times and on both occasions I still had other children so was technically still open.

The first time I acknowledged she was late and told her I wouldn't charge late fees that time since she was new (usually that's all it takes). The next time I told her I would charge late fees next time it happened. I know I should have charged the first and second time but she was my only problem client and I was feeling nice.

The third day she decided to do this I didn't have any other kids that late so she was the last pick up. She had also become a pain in other ways. I told her it's not acceptable and told her what her late fee was and that it was due at drop off the next morning.

Drop off comes and she doesn't have the late fee when I ask for it and just responds "here, read this and we can talk about it later" and hands me a sheet of paper. I take the paper but not the baby and proceed to read it at the door. It basically listed every time she'd dropped off late (her choice and inconvienant for me) and the couple of times I closed a 1/2 hour early due to appointments that she knew about when enrolling. She'd spent time listing the hours she didn't get to use by choice or because of early closure, broke down her rate into hourly and basically came up saying I owed her time so she didn't owe a late fee.

I told her that's now how I do things and she could either pay the fee or find a provider that better for her needs. Then she tried to argue more so I said I would finish out the week provided there were no more late pick ups and she paid the late fee but that friday would be my last day as I didn't feel we were a good fit. She then decided to say she would just pull immediately because she felt I was mad at her and would take it out in her child! Mind you, this entire conversation was very calm and matter of fact. No raised voices and I was cheerfully talking to the baby during it. I even said I understood what she was saying but that's not how I do things.

They left and a week later I got an email from her demanding return of $. Basically she wanted a refund of the 2 days she chose not to used and made up her own math to decide how much that would be. I showed her how I do things and how she actually owed me money and thankfully never heard from her again.

She was a very highly educated woman but completely clueless when it came to caring for her infant and daycare.
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Old 10-13-2016, 07:47 AM
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Some of these stories..."telling" a child will be dropped off at 5:30am?! Handing a provider a list of why they feel justified in not paying a late fee?! Smh...I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. I've had my fair share of them too lol. Last one was my problem family. They were part time and only used 3 days a week. They wanted to switch one day for dropping off at 3:30am on black Friday since mom was working at 4 and dad didn't want to get up that early. Uh no. I do NOT want your child here at 3:30am. And even if I did, you are going to pay big $ for those hours.
But yeah, it just amazes me, if I ever had to use daycare I would never even think of making such crazy requests of my provider. Glad you stuck up for yourself OP!
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  #7  
Old 10-13-2016, 07:53 AM
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Good for you!!!!

Standing up and saying what you need to say DOES feel good! Be warned though, it can be addicting!
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Old 10-13-2016, 08:05 AM
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Standing up for yourself - especially to someone with a bossier personality- is hard. Congratulations!
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  #9  
Old 10-13-2016, 08:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denali View Post
So awhile back a started 2 new families. One is a family that I had a feeling would push policies and have the "I'm your boss" outlook on daycare.

Tuesday I got to 'teach' her a little on how it actually works. She shows up at 7:30 on the dot for drop off. Tells me that she has to be at work at 7:30am all this week, she'll be dropping DCG off early so she can get to work on time.

Me: Oh, that's not going good to work DCM, I open at 7:30am.

DCM blankly stares at me: what?

Me: I open at 7:30am.

Smile and say nothing else. Return her stare.

DCM: oh... then I'll have to figure something out... but I'll be here on the dot 7:30... if that's ok...?

"That's fine with me for this week! I'll wave my fees for early drop off this week only, but in the future it'll cost you $30 per day extra to drop off before you normal drop off time of 7:45am." Smile and "have a good day at work!"

DCM: yes... thank you... you too.

And yes, I know I should have just charged her. Or not open my doors. I thought she was my 7:30 family... but proud of myself for saying something at all! And not choking or getting cotton mouth while doing it!! Yeah for improvement! It was nice saying nope to her 'special' of opening before 7:30am!

Side info: DCM is kinda the bully/bossy type. The fact that she reverted to asking and saying thank you was payment enough this week, that behavoir followed over to today also.


And wth... someone actually wanted to take your Xbox for a weekend?
Wow.
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  #10  
Old 10-13-2016, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Good for you!!!!

Standing up and saying what you need to say DOES feel good! Be warned though, it can be addicting!

so true! I have to try not to abuse my new found power
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Old 10-13-2016, 09:41 AM
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Good for you

My drop in family this week tried to drop off 15 minutes early. Contracted drop off time is 6:15am (per mom's request). Monday morning she shows up at 6:00am. I had a feeling she would (they showed up 30 minutes early to their interview!) so I intentionally left all the lights off. Mom waited in the car until I turned the lights on at drop off time and knocked on my door a few seconds later. I went over their contracted times, and fees associated with early drop off numerous times. It's like parents think contracted times are just a suggestion.

On a positive note - I have one family who follows rules pretty well and has always been considerate. Mom flew out of town for business and sent me a text message (24 hours in advance) asking if they could drop off DCG 30 minutes early and if so what the fee would be. I appreciated their courtesy and since they are big rule followers I okay-ed the early drop off and waived the fee. I really didn't mind. It really isn't about the extra money, it's about 1) knowing who is coming and going so I can plan a smooth day and 2) being respected by the parents.
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:11 AM
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2nd day with my first family: Mom texted at pick up time to say she was leaving work (several cities away). She picked up the kids, and a late fee slip that said:

"$36 late fee waived"

Not been late for pick up since.
Couple of weeks ago, she forgot payment, and said she'd bring it Monday. I said,

"That's fine, but there's a $90 late fee if you pay Monday."

What?! Well, it's $15 late fee per day, you have two kids in care, and Monday is three days from now . . . . So a checkbook appeared and she's remembered to pay on time since then.
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
2nd day with my first family: Mom texted at pick up time to say she was leaving work (several cities away). She picked up the kids, and a late fee slip that said:

"$36 late fee waived"

Not been late for pick up since.
Couple of weeks ago, she forgot payment, and said she'd bring it Monday. I said,

"That's fine, but there's a $90 late fee if you pay Monday."

What?! Well, it's $15 late fee per day, you have two kids in care, and Monday is three days from now . . . . So a checkbook appeared and she's remembered to pay on time since then.
So she had her check book on her but didn't want to pay you? <jaw drop> I guess that's the old syndrome of wanting to pay the provider last.

'Coz we're just so nice and all we don't mind getting pushed around a bit. Um, no.
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Old 10-13-2016, 11:42 PM
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So many frustrating stories! I have learned so much over the years it is crazy. Going from wanting to please the parents and not thinking much of myself or my business to being a real hard nose!

I think we all need a major high 5
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:35 AM
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I LOVE reading "nope" stories
They make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside
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Old 10-14-2016, 06:23 AM
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Awesome backbone posts!!!

I know that when I started out, I felt it was my job to help the parents out in any way possible and that if I did, they in turn, would be respectful and grateful.

I learned that mindset NEVER works. You give an inch...they WILL take a mile.
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Old 10-14-2016, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post

And wth... someone actually wanted to take your Xbox for a weekend?
Wow.
That doesn't surprise me- I had a DCP assume DCKs could take stuff home overnight if they wanted to. After all- they're the children's toys. Um....... No

And Denali-
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:29 PM
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Let me make sure I understand this correctly. This is all over her dropping off at 730 instead of 745, and you usually charge a fee of $30 for doing so, which you were prepared to charge daily?
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Old 10-16-2016, 09:53 PM
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Let me make sure I understand this correctly. This is all over her dropping off at 730 instead of 745, and you usually charge a fee of $30 for doing so, which you were prepared to charge daily?
She dropped off at 7:30 Tuesday. She wanted to drop off at 7-7:15am so she chould be to work at 7:30am for wednesday-Friday. I told her drop-off 7:30 was the earliest that she could do because that is when I open.

When signing up it was made very clear that any time outside of her contracted time (her earliest drop-off time - her latest pick up time) she wouldn't be able to drop off as my busniess was closed to her. UNLESS she signed up for drop in, which is $10/hour outside of her contracted time as long as it's within my business hours of operation, and arranged ahead of time.

She insisted that she wanted to have 7:45 - 10:30am only (dcg is a kinder half day). She didn't want to sign up for my drop-in rate, actually crumpled up the form and gave it back to me on her 3rd day her, when she showed up at 7:30 for drop-off and I didn't answer the door until 7:45. I made it clear that for early drop-offs/late pick-ups outside her time would be $2 a minute (if I allowed her to drop off early). She said she didn't care because it didn't pertain to her because it wouldn't happen again.

So you bet I'd charge her $2 a minute. She started on September 12th, so these were not conversations that happened a long time ago.
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Old 10-16-2016, 10:08 PM
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Also, If she doesn't like it, than she can go somewhere else. I'm not playing that game. ✌️️

Side note: this is the same DCM that I mentioned in another post that showed up to drop off paper work, and for a meet and great because DCM didn't bring DCG to the interview and I wouldn't start care until I met the kid. She didn't bring shot records (required by my state for me to have before I child can attend), told me that DCG was getting shots on Friday and she would bring them by then. This was back beginning of June I think... anyway, start date was middle aid August. Told her Friday was find, but DCG could not come and was not enrolled until I had shot records.

Never heard from them again until the morning of start date when she was on her way to drop off DCG and she was calling to make sure we were good. I said no, you never came by on that Friday months ago, never heard from you so I assumed you were not interested so I filled the space. (That family didn't work out... hence why she was give a chance when she called asking again...) she kept saying that "I thought we were good" "what I'm I going to do now?" "I really thought we were good"
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Old 10-17-2016, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Denali View Post
Also, If she doesn't like it, than she can go somewhere else. I'm not playing that game. ✌️️

Side note: this is the same DCM that I mentioned in another post that showed up to drop off paper work, and for a meet and great because DCM didn't bring DCG to the interview and I wouldn't start care until I met the kid. She didn't bring shot records (required by my state for me to have before I child can attend), told me that DCG was getting shots on Friday and she would bring them by then. This was back beginning of June I think... anyway, start date was middle aid August. Told her Friday was find, but DCG could not come and was not enrolled until I had shot records.

Never heard from them again until the morning of start date when she was on her way to drop off DCG and she was calling to make sure we were good. I said no, you never came by on that Friday months ago, never heard from you so I assumed you were not interested so I filled the space. (That family didn't work out... hence why she was give a chance when she called asking again...) she kept saying that "I thought we were good" "what I'm I going to do now?" "I really thought we were good"
Hot mess...

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Old 10-17-2016, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Denali View Post
She dropped off at 7:30 Tuesday. She wanted to drop off at 7-7:15am so she chould be to work at 7:30am for wednesday-Friday. I told her drop-off 7:30 was the earliest that she could do because that is when I open.

When signing up it was made very clear that any time outside of her contracted time (her earliest drop-off time - her latest pick up time) she wouldn't be able to drop off as my busniess was closed to her. UNLESS she signed up for drop in, which is $10/hour outside of her contracted time as long as it's within my business hours of operation, and arranged ahead of time.

She insisted that she wanted to have 7:45 - 10:30am only (dcg is a kinder half day). She didn't want to sign up for my drop-in rate, actually crumpled up the form and gave it back to me on her 3rd day her, when she showed up at 7:30 for drop-off and I didn't answer the door until 7:45. I made it clear that for early drop-offs/late pick-ups outside her time would be $2 a minute (if I allowed her to drop off early). She said she didn't care because it didn't pertain to her because it wouldn't happen again.

So you bet I'd charge her $2 a minute. She started on September 12th, so these were not conversations that happened a long time ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denali View Post
Also, If she doesn't like it, than she can go somewhere else. I'm not playing that game. ✌️️

Side note: this is the same DCM that I mentioned in another post that showed up to drop off paper work, and for a meet and great because DCM didn't bring DCG to the interview and I wouldn't start care until I met the kid. She didn't bring shot records (required by my state for me to have before I child can attend), told me that DCG was getting shots on Friday and she would bring them by then. This was back beginning of June I think... anyway, start date was middle aid August. Told her Friday was find, but DCG could not come and was not enrolled until I had shot records.

Never heard from them again until the morning of start date when she was on her way to drop off DCG and she was calling to make sure we were good. I said no, you never came by on that Friday months ago, never heard from you so I assumed you were not interested so I filled the space. (That family didn't work out... hence why she was give a chance when she called asking again...) she kept saying that "I thought we were good" "what I'm I going to do now?" "I really thought we were good"
Oh my! If this dcm doesn't force you to grow a nice, strong backbone, nothing and no one will! Good luck!
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