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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Another Potty Training Question
Oneluckymom 12:27 PM 02-01-2013
I have 2 toddlers I am potty training. Both are almost 3. The boy has a habit of "hiding" for #2.

Should I catch him everytime he hides or is this a sign he is not ready to potty train for #2?

He will pee in the potty and sometimes will tell me when he needs to pee, but much of the time he will need reminders.

I have tried taking him to the toilet for poop when he is hiding but he will hold it in once on the toilet.
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Oneluckymom 05:17 PM 02-01-2013
Bumping it just to see if anyone has any thoughts .
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Patches 06:36 PM 02-01-2013
My ds did this for a looong time i tried and tried to "catch" him but he would just hold it in, too. Eventually, something just clicked and he started doing it on his own
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cheerfuldom 07:19 PM 02-01-2013
pottying is one battle you cant win. i would offer the opportunities and keep everything upbeat. if he has an accident, just clean him up and thats that. no drama, no negative attention. but if you shadow him and push him to potty, it is just going to be a battle.
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nothingwithoutjoy 07:27 PM 02-01-2013
I take this as a sign of readiness, as in he knows he has to poop, and is doing something to prepare for it. If I catch them doing that, I say in a positive way "oh, it looks like you have to poop! Let's go do it in the potty." and pop them on there right away. If they don't, I say "I bet you'll do it in the potty next time," or something like that.
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Oneluckymom 08:50 PM 02-01-2013
OK. Well, I will try catching him and I'm sure it will click at some point soon. I also felt like this may be a sign of readiness....he knows its coming and he chooses to hide.
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nanglgrl 09:25 PM 02-01-2013
I guess I see this differently. I do see it as a sign of readiness but not a sign that he is ready. You said that he sometimes goes to the potty on his own but usually you have to remind him and that he always does #2 in his diaper. You shouldn't have to ask him if he needs to go more than he goes on his own if he's ready. If he is holding #2 when you put him on the toilet he is resisting and as long as they are resisting there is nothing you can do. If you try too hard to train them during this time not only will you end up with lots of frustration but it will probably take you longer to train them when they are ready. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that the potty is an option but don't make a big deal about it.
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Oneluckymom 10:16 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
I guess I see this differently. I do see it as a sign of readiness but not a sign that he is ready. You said that he sometimes goes to the potty on his own but usually you have to remind him and that he always does #2 in his diaper. You shouldn't have to ask him if he needs to go more than he goes on his own if he's ready. If he is holding #2 when you put him on the toilet he is resisting and as long as they are resisting there is nothing you can do. If you try too hard to train them during this time not only will you end up with lots of frustration but it will probably take you longer to train them when they are ready. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows that the potty is an option but don't make a big deal about it.
I sort of felt the need to REALLY push the potty thing because of the parents. They would sometimes come in on Monday and say oh he did great over the weekend and used the potty (pee pee) and then when they pick up at the end of the day and hear that he used it 1 or 2 times they are not very thrilled.

What can I say to these parents? The potty is there and the child can choose to use it AND I ask thoughout the day if they need to. If the child says NO then what? Like today was a mostly NO day and when I took his arm to led him to the potty he was screaming that he did not want to go! What to do? He went 1 time the whole day. The rest into the diaper.
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nanglgrl 01:14 AM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
I sort of felt the need to REALLY push the potty thing because of the parents. They would sometimes come in on Monday and say oh he did great over the weekend and used the potty (pee pee) and then when they pick up at the end of the day and hear that he used it 1 or 2 times they are not very thrilled.

What can I say to these parents? The potty is there and the child can choose to use it AND I ask thoughout the day if they need to. If the child says NO then what? Like today was a mostly NO day and when I took his arm to led him to the potty he was screaming that he did not want to go! What to do? He went 1 time the whole day. The rest into the diaper.
I completely understand! I think most of us have been in the same position as you. First don't feel bad, second if the child says no then leave him alone (I say that nicely) and third you need to put this responsibility back on the parents. The child saying no is a sure sign he is not ready and is resisting.
Every parent says their child did great over the weekend. I swear it's the words they use when they want their child trained but they don't want to do the work. When I first started I had a little one whose parents wanted trained and they would tell me how great she did at home. One day after being particularly frustrated because at my house the child didn't even talk much less show any signs of training readiness I asked the older sibling what mom did at home to get her sister to go. The older sibling informed me that she wore diapers all the time at home and never went in the potty. In another instance it was grandpa that told me. He picked up on a regular basis (they lived with him) and I told him to tell mom that her child was out of pullups. He replied with "I don't know why she buys pullups, it's not like she ever tries to get her to go on the potty." So yeah, when the parent says they are doing great at home but you don't see any of it at your house let it go in one ear and out the other. I'm not saying it's never true but the truth is if they are not showing the signs at your house they're not ready to go at your house.
Ask the parents questions. Ask them if they ask him if he needs to go potty and how often. If they say they don't ask them what he says/does to indicate he needs to go. Ask them if they take him to the potty and if they pull down his pants or if he does. Ask them if they sit him on the potty and if so does he go right away or do they have him sit there for a bit until he goes. Ask them how they think you would be able to follow that routine with the other children that need your attention.
Nine times out of ten I find that the parent is asking the child every hour and right after meals and even when the child says no or says nothing they take the child to the potty, pull down the child's pants and sit them on the potty until they go. I try not to laugh as I ask if the child is the one being trained or if they are. I could hold an 6 month old over the potty every hour and probably get lucky quite a few times a day.

Now I don't train children I help AFTER the parent has done the majority of the work. The last parent I had that tried to insist their child was going at home was very insistent. She said her child was meeting all of the signs of readiness at home and acted flabbergasted when I informed her he was doing none of them at my house. I finally asked her to please take a video of the process at home. It's not hard these days to turn on a phone and take a quick video! She never did bring in the video but coincidentally she stopped trying to push potty training.

Here is what I have in my policies. I got most of this from other providers (thanks Blackcat):

Learning to Use the Toilet
(a separate informational toilet training packet will be provided when you are ready to begin the process)
*I will help a child learn to use the toilet once you and I agree that the child is physically ready. It is important to follow a consistent routine both at home and in my program.
*You will supply me with extra clothing and training pants while I am helping your child to use the toilet.
*Toilet training is the parent's responsibility to start, continue and complete the process. The provider will aid and assist in this process.
*Each child is an individual and develops at his/her own rate. There is no set age at which toilet training should begin. The right time depends on the physical and emotional readiness of each child.
*A child is not considered toilet trained if the parent or provider has to ask or take the child to the potty every few hours without the child expressing the need to go. Making a “face” is not expressing a need to go use the restroom that points to training readiness.
*The most important issue is that the child is ready before beginning to train. This is usually between the ages of two and three years (some children develop this skill even later but rarely earlier). If training is started before the child is ready, training will be more difficult and take longer.
*A child must be able to control the muscles that regulate the bowel and the bladder before beginning to train. Having the ability to get to the potty and then undress quickly are also important. A few things that could indicate your child is ready to begin training are:
• Can express and understand one-word statements such words as: "wet", "dry", "potty", and "go"
• Staying dry for at least 2 hours at a time
• Having regular solid bowel movements
• Being able to follow simple, two-step instructions
• Being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and wanting them to be changed
• Asking to use the potty chair/toilet
• Asking to wear regular underwear
• Be able to get on and off the toilet him/herself
• Understands the association between dry pants and using the potty
• Enjoys washing his/her hands, likes to be clean
• Can dress and undress using simple clothing items
*Your child must be able to do most of the above, while in my care before I will begin potty training at child care. For sanitary reasons and the health of our floor crawlers, do NOT bring your child in regular panties or underwear until it has been cleared with the provider.
*During toilet training, the child should be dressed in 'user friendly' clothing as much as possible. The best items are shorts and pants with full elastic waists. Absolutely NO tight clothing, pants with snaps and zippers, belts, tights or overalls. These items are often difficult for children to remove when 'in a hurry'.
*I will use the following terms:
• urine will be called pee
• a bowel movement will be called poop

Good Luck!
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Oneluckymom 06:34 PM 02-02-2013
Thanks Nangirl. This is very helpful!!
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jen2651 11:59 AM 02-04-2013
Both my daughter and son are/were like this. My son used to go hide and take off his diaper/undies and carry a log to the toilet. (only at home, not daycare). One day my mother was here and he brought it to her and she told him it was ishy and he shouldn't do it again. He was a big boy and going to poop in the toilet. And he did.

My daughter...she is something else. If you asked her to sit on the toilet at that time, she too would hold it, for days. I stopped pushing. Just let her hide for a while so she could get back on her normal schedule. After that, I hate to admit it, but I wasn't above bribing. An M&M for poop in the potty was a small price to pay. Sometimes just she got one, sometimes all the kids got one M&M...but not more pooping between the couch and recliner!! But, she was the one choosing to go, there was no 'me making her'.
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