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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Your Take On Fairy Tales For Preschoolers
MissAnn 07:12 AM 03-05-2013
My Literature for Children class really pushes the importance of them.....but I'm wondering what you think.
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Willow 07:21 AM 03-05-2013
Depends entirely on the fairy tale, or nursery rhyme, or song.

Some of them are downright nasty or the meanings behind them really dark.


Although nostalgic they aren't always appropriate.
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itlw8 07:28 AM 03-05-2013
so much of what they learn later comes back to fairy tales, nursery rhymes and childrens stories. I think they are important to expose children to them. Now they do not need to know ring around the rosey is about the plague. You do not need to have the wolf eat grandma or the woodsman chop off his head.
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Springdaze 07:38 AM 03-05-2013
I think they are good. they also teach vocabulary that we may not use in everyday speech
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CedarCreek 07:42 AM 03-05-2013
I like them. I have a magical bedtime stories book that we read from quite a bit. Its updated though so there are no killings, lol.

Except for the ginger bread man. The fox still eats him. But hey, he's a cookie.
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daycarediva 07:47 AM 03-05-2013
Sorry, I think they aren't at all children's stories. Adaptations lose the meaning. I read the 'real' versions in high school english.

My dcb introduced everyone to ring around the rosey and I cringe everytime I hear it, plus it is SUPER unsafe when played indoors like they try to do, since they don't just let go and they yank each others hands.
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Willow 07:57 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Sorry, I think they aren't at all children's stories. Adaptations lose the meaning. I read the 'real' versions in high school english.
Same here so I completely agree!!!
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just_peachy 08:04 AM 03-05-2013
I think for the sake of tradition they're fun to teach/know.

My bff moved from Mexico when she was 8, and my DH had an awful childhood. Both of them have told me before that they feel like they "missed out" on not knowing the traditional fairy tales.

I certainly don't think they're detrimental one way or another though. Just read a lot of books and your kids'll be golden!
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Evansmom 08:45 AM 03-05-2013
Well it was Albert Einstein who said, "If you want your child to be intelligent, read them fairy tales." So there must be something to them if one of the greatest minds of all time said that.

I personally love them. I don't think it's necessary to sugar coat stories and life for children. Don't scare them, but it's ok for them to read about bad things happening and villains and such in a safe way and in a safe environment. But I read Roald Dahl to my 5 year old every night so maybe I'm a little "off". My son loves them! Especially The Twits and there are plenty of opportunities to discuss other people's bad behavior
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Lucy 09:07 AM 03-05-2013
I say whatever gets the kids excited about a book is great with me.

I read or saw all those supposedly "dark" "mean-spirited" books and movies. I'm not a serial killer.

They'll either like them or they won't. Don't stress.
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MissAnn 09:13 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
Well it was Albert Einstein who said, "If you want your child to be intelligent, read them fairy tales." So there must be something to them if one of the greatest minds of all time said that.

I personally love them. I don't think it's necessary to sugar coat stories and life for children. Don't scare them, but it's ok for them to read about bad things happening and villains and such in a safe way and in a safe environment. But I read Roald Dahl to my 5 year old every night so maybe I'm a little "off". My son loves them! Especially The Twits and there are plenty of opportunities to discuss other people's bad behavior
I agree. The kids just love them. I sit in awe watching imatinations soar as they act out and add to each fairy tale complete with rich new vocabulary. Today we did read Little Red Riding Hood and yes, the wolf did eat the grandma as well as Little Red. He swallowed them whole and then they were cut out by the woodsman. The kids roared with laughter. I just kept thinking.....why have I denied them Fairy Tales all these years?
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Willow 09:48 AM 03-05-2013
I'm not sure it's a fear of children growing up to be serial killers or an issue about stressing out about the issue, for me it's just a matter of knowing the actual origins and having a respect for any actual history that they originated from.

I don't really think it's appropriate for kids today to be skipping around dancing in circles singing songs about the Black Plague/Holocaust.

If one wants to share the completely dulled down distorted and sugar coated versions Disney has come up with fine but when you're talking about actual fairy tales most of them are completely inappropriate for children.

Here are just a few examples:
http://outbreathblog.wordpress.com/2...g-fairy-tales/

I'm sorry, but once you know what the modern day fairy tales actually originated from it seems more than a little macabre to try to morph them into something semi-appropriate for toddlers. I can come up with better all on my own, and with roots that won't conjure up nightmares for ME as I'm telling them lol


(And no I don't baby the kids in my care, there are dead animal mounts all over my walls and life isn't always rainbows and butterflies but STILL, I fail to see the necessity.....teach it in high school English as someone else mentioned but not right before tuck in time for a three year old :P )
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daycarediva 10:11 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm not sure it's a fear of children growing up to be serial killers or an issue about stressing out about the issue, for me it's just a matter of knowing the actual origins and having a respect for any actual history that they originated from.

I don't really think it's appropriate for kids today to be skipping around dancing in circles singing songs about the Black Plague/Holocaust.

If one wants to share the completely dulled down distorted and sugar coated versions Disney has come up with fine but when you're talking about actual fairy tales most of them are completely inappropriate for children.

Here are just a few examples:
http://outbreathblog.wordpress.com/2...g-fairy-tales/

I'm sorry, but once you know what the modern day fairy tales actually originated from it seems more than a little macabre to try to morph them into something semi-appropriate for toddlers. I can come up with better all on my own, and with roots that won't conjure up nightmares for ME as I'm telling them lol


(And no I don't baby the kids in my care, there are dead animal mounts all over my walls and life isn't always rainbows and butterflies but STILL, I fail to see the necessity.....teach it in high school English as someone else mentioned but not right before tuck in time for a three year old :P )
I don't baby my kids either, and I totally agree with you.

I JUST started speaking to my ds/7 about the origins of fairy tales. We watch the show Once Upon a Time together, (great show if anyone likes that sort of thing) and I will speak to him about the real origins.

Maybe fairy tales were 'ruined' for me in high school, but my ap english teacher was amazing. She had us read the kid stories aloud in class and write a report on them, and then we read the real version and wrote another report. I had a nightmare about Hansel and Gretel and I was 16!

Imagination is in soooo many other places, that fairy tales or lack thereof aren't going to destroy a child.
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Starburst 10:15 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
Well it was Albert Einstein who said, "If you want your child to be intelligent, read them fairy tales." So there must be something to them if one of the greatest minds of all time said that.
Well a lot of fair tales and folklore have good lessions (thats why they were created):

3 Little Pigs- easier is not always better; quality counts; listen to your mother (depending on what versions you heard)

Little Red Ridinghood- don't wander off alone, don't talk to strangers, people are not always who they say they are (espesually now on the internet)

Aladdin- Be careful what you wish (or pray) for; The grass is always greener on the other side

Jack O'Lantern- It's not nice to play tricks/pranks; be careful who you trick; pranks can hurt people; reasoning behind Halloween cultural traditions

Boy Who Cried Wolf- never fake an emergency; don't lie or people will wont believing you when you tell the truth

Pinnocio- don't lie, everyone has a tell that will expose their lies

Hansel and Gretel- Don't take candy from strangers; Don't go into a stranger's home (car); don't go off without an adult; tell someone if you are going somewhere alone

Cinderella- work hard; there is always someone who is worse off than you; no matter how bad things are it can always get better

Goldie Locks- Don't tresspass on private property, respect people's property, never take food from strangers, don't take things without asking, don't mess with wild animals.

Ugly Duckling- Everyone goes through an akward phase; Don't make fun of how others look; Outter beauty comes and goes; everyone is beautiful

Beauty and The Beast- Inner beauty is what counts; looks can be decieving

A Christmas Carol- Dont be a scrooge, be kind to others; Family and friendship are important; someone is always worse off than you are

The Tortise and The Hare- Slow and steady wins the race, faster is not always better, pace yourself, stop to smell the roses once in a while; don't be lazy; don't get a swelled head

Thumblina- Even small people can do big things; size doesn't matter

The Ant and The Grasshopper- Hard work pays off; be prepared for an emergency; always prepare for the future; be kind to others;

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You just have to make sure how it is told is age appropriate, and what ages some stories are appropriate for. I took a class on children and literature and the teacher said: kids learn better from stories and examples rather than just being told something and why; thats why reading and dramatic play are very important for the learning of younger (and even older) children
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Willow 10:33 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Well a lot of fair tales and folklore have good lessions (thats why they were created):

3 Little Pigs- easier is not always better; quality counts; listen to your mother (depending on what versions you heard)

Little Red Ridinghood- don't wander off alone, don't talk to strangers, people are not always who they say they are (espesually now on the internet)

Aladdin- Be careful what you wish (or pray) for; The grass is always greener on the other side

Boy Who Cried Wolf- never fake an emergency; don't lie or people will wont believing you when you tell the truth

Pinnocio- don't lie, everyone has a tell that will expose their lies

Cinderella- work hard; there is always someone who is worse off than you; no matter how bad things are it can always get better

Goldie Locks- Don't tresspass on private property, respect people's property, never take food from strangers, don't take things without asking, don't mess with wild animals.

Ugly Duckling- Everyone goes through an akward phase; Don't make fun of how others look; Outter beauty comes and goes; everyone is beautiful

Beauty and The Beast- Inner beauty is what counts; looks can be decieving

A Christmas Carol- Dont be a scrooge, be kind to others; Family and friendship are important; someone is always worse off than you are

The Tortise and The Hare- Slow and steady wins the race, faster is not always better, pace yourself, stop to smell the roses once in a while; don't be lazy; don't get a swelled head

Thumblina- Even small people can do big things; size doesn't matter

The Ant and The Grasshopper- Hard work pays off; be prepared for an emergency; always prepare for the future; be kind to others;

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Kids learn better from stories and examples rather than just being told something and why; thats also why reading and dramatic play are very important for the learning of younger (and even older) children


Except those were not at all the lessons in all of the above actual fairy tales lol Most of them didn't contain any sort of lessons at all.

They were just horror stories created and told for (definitely more adult) entertainment value.


I could sit and spin a story with a life lesson in it about the bombing of Pearl Harbor and make it hold entertainment value for a toddler, but that wouldn't necessarily be appropriate - kwim?
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Play Care 10:49 AM 03-05-2013
I don't believe Ring Around The Rosie is about the plague:

http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.asp

I'm not bothered either way. If you tell them and can pull some moral or useful tidbit then go for it. If it bothers you then don't.
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Starburst 10:51 AM 03-05-2013
A lot of it also has to do with culture and history. And yes, I think kids should hear some stories about how the real world (and life in genral) isn't perfect or always fair. I think it is unfair to make them always expect that everything will magically work out without any rational reasoning or hardwork on the part of the main characters. They need a good mixture of fiction and nonfiction. To compare war stories to fairy-tales is a major hyperbole. I'm sure what most kids today see on TV are 10x scarier than these fairy-tales; heck maybe thats why most of them don't like to read because they don't think it's scary, realistic, or interesting enough because their parents want to shelter them by only letting them read "safe stories" about loosing a tooth or learning to ride a bike. And yet, they assume that just because a show is a cartoon it is age appropriate for all children but since they don't watch it they don't realize it has violence or teaches bad habits- I read a blog about a mom that said she didn't let her 3 year old daughter watch 'Ni Hoa Kai Lan' anymore becuase the characters were always angry and getting attention by throwing temper tantrums and she said noticed after watching the show a few time her daughter was always acting angry and saying "I'm mad" even when she wasn't.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what the origin of the story was or the original point of the story was; it all depends on how it is told to it's audience (that's my inner drama geek talking) and how it is adapted to be age appropriate. Also I can say the same about 'Dora the Explora' being more for entertainment than for education purposes since she subconscienously teaches some really awful lessons to children (see my thread on 'kids shows'). Most stories can have a moral if you look hard enough, many family tv shows are for the main purpose of entertainment but also try to teach lessions in many of the plots (espesually teen/family dramas/comedies like Degrassi or 7th Heaven). That is also why it is important to ask 3-6 year olds open-ended questions after story time to know what they learned and tell the same story every so often to see how their comprehension of stories evolves.
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ETA:

Also just like you can make any story a 'fairy tale' you can also make it dark. Shows I watched when I was a kid have alot of consperacy theories on the internet now:

Ed, Edd, & Eddy All the kids that live in the cul-de-sac are dead. They are stuck in limbo and they still believe that they are alive. It is believed that they all died during different time periods ranging from the early 1900s-2000s. The only characters that are believed to be alive are the Kanker sister- it's thought that they may be witches who awaken the spirits of the other cul-de-sac kids and changed them from residual spirits into more interactive (or intelligent) spirits. That is why all the other kids in the cul-de-sac hate the Kankers- because they put a spell on the dead kids and wont let them cross over. That is why all the other characters have blue tongues and you never see adults or cars on their street. Also why they rarely went to school but even then you never saw a teacher or other students (abandaned school yard?)

Rugrats Angelica, Suzy, and possibly Dill are the only real rugrats. All the other ones are thought to be figments of Angelica's imagination. Angelica was supposively born addicted to drugs and her real mother OD'ed and died shortly after her birth. Angelica got over the withdrawls but the drugs left her paranoid and borderline schitzophrenic. Her father remarried a woman (Charlotte) who is too busy to see Angelica needs help and her father (Drew) didn't pay much attention to Angelica. Angelica's doll Cynthia is really a symbol for her dead birth mother- that is why she always idolized Cynthia and why her doll has really messed up hair. Tommy was a stillborn- that's why his dad was always in the basement making toys for his child that never got a chance to play. Chucky died with his mother in a car accident and that is why chaz is always a wreck he later married a woman Kira who always talked about her daughter Kimi who died of SIDS. Betty DeVille is believed to be a pro-choice feminist (explaining the symbol on her shirt) and was pregnant but terminated it; Angelica didn't know if it was a boy or a girl so she made them one of each twins. This is all why Angelica could talk to both the babies and adults- the adults thought she had imaginary friends she called the 'babies' so that is why they patronized her and pretended they existed and why she always got in trouble and blamed for things even when it was something the babies did. Suzy was Angelica's only real friend and she also played along and pretened to talk to the 'imaginary' babies she lets this go on until they are in their teens. Dil was eventually born but Angelica got mad that he wouldn't talk to her like the other babies did so she got mad and shook him which caused severe brain damage but he did survive which is why he is weird in 'All Grown Up'. Also Dr. Lipschitz, the child specialist that Didi always researches, is the name of the Pickles' and the Finsters' family pyschologist.

So yes even harmless kids stories and shows can be made into darker meanings then intended if you really try hard enough.
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Jewels 10:57 AM 03-05-2013
I don't think a kids mind understands the stories like we do, they don't see the "horror" part, because they can't understand it, they hear it very differently, I mean I never knew ring around the rosey meant what it meant until I was an adult, to me it was just a game where you spin around a rose plant and fall down, kids minds just don't comprehend like ours, just like today, one of my 6 yr olds, asked me why sexy is a bad word.....I said its not really bad just innapropriate kind of like poop, and she said yeah but why, honestly I changed the subject because I couldn't really answer that, shes to young to know what sex is, and its not a bad word, so I didn't really know how to answer that.
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bunnyslippers 11:02 AM 03-05-2013
I am actually not sure how I feel about this. I know that fairy tales have a strong presence in literature, and that it is important to have that reference point for further literary education. That being said, I have a very smart 5 year old son, and he gets very freaked out by some of the stories! It is hard to sugar coat a lot of them...and the concept is pretty frightening. Just last night, he asked me what Hansel and Gretel was all about. You should have seen his little face as I explained it! He was horrified! I haven't even let him watch many of the Disney movies, as he gets scared of some of those. Hmmm, maybe he is a little too sensitive.
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Evansmom 11:11 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'm not sure it's a fear of children growing up to be serial killers or an issue about stressing out about the issue, for me it's just a matter of knowing the actual origins and having a respect for any actual history that they originated from.)
I don't see the harm with doing both, reading the "kids" version to kids and then in high school learning where they originally come from. I did this and it made learning about it as a young adult so much more fascinating to have read the children's versions and have them to compare the originals to. Otherwise where is the reference? As a young adult learning the darker stories behind the kids versions was so juicy and interesting.
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just_peachy 11:28 AM 03-05-2013
Not that I feel too strongly one way or another, but if we're going to attack the historical aspect of fairy tales, our kids shouldn't be celebrating any holidays either. Especially the fluffy gradeschool way.

No Thanksgiving: hostile Native American takeover

No Columbus Day: more Native American injustices

No Easter: Crucifiction, wee!

No Independence Day: war

The list goes on. Just something to consider.
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Willow 11:31 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
I don't see the harm with doing both, reading the "kids" version to kids and then in high school learning where they originally come from. I did this and it made learning about it as a young adult so much more fascinating to have read the children's versions and have them to compare the originals to. Otherwise where is the reference? As a young adult learning the darker stories behind the kids versions was so juicy and interesting.

Just to clarify I agree that as a young adult learning about the darker ACTUAL origins was interesting lol, and I see nothing wrong with that.

My problem is from an ethical standpoint, especially in regards to those stories, rhymes, sing-songs that have legitimate roots. Even those that don't, I just don't see the need.


Sure we all need to learn lessons in life, but do I need to distort violent and perverted existing fiction and non to do so? I don't happen to think so. I don't feel like I need to make up a story about actual school shootings to teach the toddlers in my care not to bully, or touch firearms, or think it's appropriate to pull life lessons from 50 Shades of Gray to share with pre-k's

Sure we all COULD. But what's being debated here per the original post is the importance. Is it ethical and is it necessary to a child's upbringing. I'd argue HECK NO.



To further clarify, I'm not saying imaginative story telling isn't valuable because I do think it is.....just that the origins of some of what people try to pass off as youth appropriate literature is nothing but. From an ethical standpoint, it doesn't sit right with me to try to pass it off as such.
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just_peachy 11:36 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
or think it's appropriate to pull life lessons from 50 Shades of Gray to share with pre-k's
Okay now THAT I'd like to see.
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Willow 11:40 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by just_peachy:
Not that I feel too strongly one way or another, but if we're going to attack the historical aspect of fairy tales, our kids shouldn't be celebrating any holidays either. Especially the fluffy gradeschool way.

No Thanksgiving: hostile Native American takeover

No Columbus Day: more Native American injustices

No Easter: Crucifiction, wee!

No Independence Day: war

The list goes on. Just something to consider.

When I was growing up Thanksgiving and Columbus Day were fluffed up in school, but my parents raised me to know the truth. We acknowledged it and used it as a time to spend with family. I do the same with my children. I don't know of anyone right now who is like - wow, Thanksgiving is awesome, I'm so glad the Indians got jacked and we should totally pretend like that didn't happen today while we stuff our faces with food.

Although there were colored eggs and Easter baskets we celebrated Christ's rising from the dead on Easter morning, not his death. The crucifixion is not the point of the Christian Holiday or the celebration. I am non practicing but recognize why my parents celebrate the day with joy. It's a very VERY joyous occasion, just as his birth was. Christ's ascension into heaven is only second to His birth (if not visa versa). Both events were essential to souls everywhere being able to someday achieve everlasting life. Being given the opportunity to spend eternity in heaven is cause for a lot of people to rejoice.

Independence Day was always a day to recognize veterans around here. While war is unpleasant it is reality and our life is better for what this country endured to achieve it's current freedom. My kids know we don't put flags out and go to the fireworks with "Proud to Be An American" playing as they burst for no reason.
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Willow 11:43 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by just_peachy:
Okay now THAT I'd like to see.
Hurting others predisposes them to perpetuate that violence?

I'm not sure how it's that big of a stretch if you can pull goodness and life lessons out of stories steeped in death, torture, rape, cannibalism, infanticide, necrophilia, bestiality and cruel and unusual punishment.
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Willow 11:47 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Most stories can have a moral if you look hard enough

Which is why attempting to extract morals from the really really dark stuff is completely unnecessary
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Lucy 11:47 AM 03-05-2013
Whether or not Ring Around the Rosey is about the plague shouldn't matter. The kids don't know that, nor would they understand if they were told! It wouldn't frighten them enough to stop singing it. I think we're WAY over-analyzing this on an ADULT level. Kids don't think of ANY of that stuff. They're just singing rhyming words with a catchy tune. Period.

For heaven's sake... we teach kids that an old man watches them while they play and sleep, and then he sneaks into our house in the middle of the night. And there are dozens, if not hundreds, of songs about this guy. Why is that not frightening to teach??? Just sayin'
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Starburst 11:53 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
Which is why attempting to extract morals from the really really dark stuff is completely unnecessary
That doesn't mean that the stories are bad or that you shouldn't read them. I also added consperacy theories of shows that weren't made with bad intentions but were turned into darker meanings by fans on my previous post.
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Willow 11:59 AM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Whether or not Ring Around the Rosey is about the plague shouldn't matter. The kids don't know that, nor would they understand if they were told! It wouldn't frighten them enough to stop singing it. I think we're WAY over-analyzing this on an ADULT level. Kids don't think of ANY of that stuff. They're just singing rhyming words with a catchy tune. Period.

For heaven's sake... we teach kids that an old man watches them while they play and sleep, and then he sneaks into our house in the middle of the night. And there are dozens, if not hundreds, of songs about this guy. Why is that not frightening to teach??? Just sayin'

It's not about whether it's frightening to teach (although the thought of Santa Clause seeing me when I peed in the weeks leading up to Christmas was more than a little disturbing.......).

If the original story of Santa Clause was one not of him bringing presents to good children but instead massacring bad children all over the world with a machete and then feeding their heads to the sharks would it REALLY be necessary to pull the life lesson of "behave" from that?? If he didn't wear a red fluffy suit but rather a leather and chains get up with scary goblins pulling a sleigh....would you really feel the need to distort that version into a more palatable story to teach that life lesson? Or could you come up with something better?

PLEASE tell me you could come up with something better on your own
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Jewels 12:01 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Whether or not Ring Around the Rosey is about the plague shouldn't matter. The kids don't know that, nor would they understand if they were told! It wouldn't frighten them enough to stop singing it. I think we're WAY over-analyzing this on an ADULT level. Kids don't think of ANY of that stuff. They're just singing rhyming words with a catchy tune. Period.

For heaven's sake... we teach kids that an old man watches them while they play and sleep, and then he sneaks into our house in the middle of the night. And there are dozens, if not hundreds, of songs about this guy. Why is that not frightening to teach??? Just sayin'
Yeah right, after christmas my 3 year old at bedtime everynight asked if santa was watching her and she was scared
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Willow 12:02 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
That doesn't mean that the stories are bad or that you shouldn't read them. I also added consperacy theories of shows that weren't made with bad intentions but were turned into darker meanings by fans on my previous post.

What on earth do you mean??!

Most fairy tales were very VERY bad. HORRIFIC even!!!!!!


I have no idea what you're talking about as far as conspiracy theories go. The stories were written and they are what they are. THEN turned marshmallowy as they were passed down, probably because most people couldn't stomach their actual content.

I've never heard anyone try to deny the origins of fables. You can easily reference the original subtexts.
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Willow 12:07 PM 03-05-2013
As far as "catchy tunes" go anyone remember the hub-bub when that little boy was posted on youtube singing the song "Booty Pop?"

He didn't understand the context at all being just 6 years old, so why was everyone so outraged??
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Willow 12:09 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Jewels:
Yeah right, after christmas my 3 year old at bedtime everynight asked if santa was watching her and she was scared

Not to mention every parent that's ever brought their child to sit on Santa's lap at the mall always ends up with a perfect picture of their child NOT screaming their head off in terror and tearing away from his grip
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just_peachy 12:12 PM 03-05-2013
I guess I see fairy tales as part of history. They were written/told with the intention to be passed down; to leave a legacy. They were a way of imparting wisdom, explaining truths. Of course they're going to be "sugar coated" for kids, but that doesn't mean there aren't any value to them. If anything, as kids grow older and the history behind the fairy tales are learned, their attachment to the gravity of the reality is deepened. As opposed to the "meh who cares, that's ancient history" mentality.

To me, it's kind of like the process of explaining sex to a kid.

If a 3 year old wants to know how babies are made, you don't bust in with a complete explanation, diagrams and all... they get the "when Mommy and Daddy love each other very much..." version. As time progresses, that version changes in an age appropriate way.

While I understand the argument, I think it'd be a loss to toss fairy tales away because of their grimness. I think their cultural value is significant.
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Willow 12:21 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by just_peachy:

While I understand the argument, I think it'd be a loss to toss fairy tales away because of their grimness. I think their cultural value is significant.

I don't disagree with you there, and I'm not saying they should be done away with.

Just arguing that they should be left be, as originals, and saved for when a child is old enough to comprehend them. We don't take the civil rights movement into a classroom of kindergartners and start with "Once upon a time in the woods somewhere..." ending it with children frolicking about the classroom with glee as an introduction into all that. Nor is there any reason to take a flubbed version of Stephen King's "Thinner" into a preschool to teach children about good eating habits or treating other ethnic and cultural backgrounds with respect.

Save it for when it's appropriate for them to learn about the reality of actual reality and the reality of fiction.

Impart ones values through ACTUALLY appropriate fairy tales (The Little Red Hen is fantastic!) or via other means.
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Starburst 12:32 PM 03-05-2013
You know what, I am done feeding into this little passive-agressive game. These are my opionions and I am so tired of feeling like I have to defend them to you or anyone. I don't care what you think anymore; you have your opionions and that is fine. I am just trying to let you know that the world isn't so black and white (Because if the world was black and white there would be no rainbows).

I believe kids are too sheltered as it is today and need some type of risks and adventure. Heck, when I was a younger kid I loved scary stories and learning about urban ledgens. When I was a little kid I loved hearing stories about witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and monsters. In fact the only books I would read were from the 'Goosebumps' series. It was an adrenoline rush- like riding a roller coaster. Heck, I remember when I was a kid watching 'Oprah' and soap operas (shows made for adults- NOT kids) when they would talk about drugs and kid nappings; I have been offered rides from men between the ages of 9 -12 but I never accepted a ride no matter how hot it was or far my walk was and I have had older friends who offered me things but I never done drugs, smoked cigarrettes, or even drank (supprising I also grew up listening to rap and never did these things). I had one friend in high school who said she accepted a ride from a guy and by the end of that ride contracted herpes she was also known for drinking, smoking, and doing drugs-she just watched tweeny bopper shows on MTV.

If someone wants their kids to be wimpy generic robots that is fine but I want my future kids to have a little bit of adventure and learn different types of emotions- and that includes fear! Because fear is what helps keep us grounded and helps us realize that there are consequenses to all of our actions (some good and some bad). Fear is what stops us from doing something stupid or gambling away all the money we need to pay the bills. But when parents are too afraid they stop their kids from being exposed to anything scary but then their kids miss out on that oppertunity to know what fear is and may not learn when the risks out way the rewards.

Those are my personal expierinces and beliefs. This is not a black and white issue because there are always pros and cons to everything. But in my opionion I see far more pro than cons.
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Willow 12:45 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
You know what, I am done feeding into this little passive-agressive game. These are my opionions and I am so tired of feeling like I have to defend them to you or anyone. I don't care what you think anymore; you have your opionions and that is fine I am just trying to let you know that the world isn't so black and white (Because if the world was black and white there would be no rainbows).

I believe kids are too sheltered as it is today and need some type of risks and adventure. Heck, when I was a younger kid I loved scary stories and learning about urban ledgens. When I was a little kid I loved hearing stories about witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and monsters. In fact the only books I would read were from the 'Goosebumps' series. It was an adrenoline rush- like riding a roller coaster. Heck, I remember when I was a kid watching 'Oprah' and soap operas (shows made for adults- NOT kids) when they would talk about drugs and kid nappings; I have been offered rides from men between the ages of 9 -12 but I never accepted a ride no matter how hot it was or far my walk was and I have had older friends who offered me things but I never done drugs, smoked cigarrettes, or even drank (supprising I also grew up listening to rap and never did these things). I had one friend in high school who said she accepted a ride from a guy and by the end of that ride contracted herpes she was also known for drinking, smoking, and doing drugs-she just watched tweeny bopper shows on MTV.

If someone wants their kids to be wimpy generic robots that is fine but I want my future kids to have a little bit of adventure and learn different types of emotions- and that includes fear! Because fear is what helps keep us grounded and helps us realize that there are consequenses to all of our actions (some good and some bad). Fear is what stops us from doing something stupid or gambling away all the money we need to pay the bills. But when parents are too afraid they stop their kids from being exposed to anything scary but then their kids miss out on that oppertunity to know what fear is and may not learn when the risks out way the rewards.

Those are my personal expierinces and beliefs. This is not a black and white issue because there are always pros and cons to everything. But in my opionion I see far more pro than cons.

Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about with any of your above....

Nowhere did I say kids should be sheltered or taught there isn't consequences for their actions.

I do think it's pretty ridiculous and offensive that you're saying I want my children to grow up to be wimpy generic robots simply because I don't think it's ethical for them to unknowingly make light of the Black Plague and Holocaust.

You don't have to like my opinions or explanations of why I feel the way I do, but for heavens sake have some respect and LEAVE MY CHILDREN OUT OF IT. That's a low blow and completely out of line.
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CedarCreek 12:54 PM 03-05-2013
Let's all calm down. It's just fairy tale talk.

We aren't talking about corporal punishment here.
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Starburst 12:56 PM 03-05-2013
Did I say your kids? NO! I said it in the general 'if someone' I made the conscience effort to not put "your". Because that is how many kids are being raised now. Any time they show any type of expression other than happiness or content it's "oh they have a mood disorder or a learning diability. Quick give them a pill". I was diagnosed with depression as a teen and when I was on medications I did feel like a robot with no emotions so I stopped it. Then a few years later I went to the doctor for a regular check up and was feeling fine and she just saw on my chart about my depression and I said was fine but she still proscribed meds; now instead of depression I have anxiety issues even years after I haven't taken it.
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Starburst 12:57 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
Let's all calm down. It's just fairy tale talk.

We aren't talking about corporal punishment here.
Yeah, It seems these stories have more meaning to our society than we think. lol
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Willow 01:03 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Did I say your kids? NO! I said it in the general 'if someone'. Because that is how many kids are being raised now. Any time they show any type of expression other than happiness or content it's "oh they have a mood disorder or a learning diability. Quick give them a pill". I was diagnosed with depression as a teen and when I was on medications I did feel like a robot with no emotions.

That's not what you said, or what I believe you meant at all but fine.

With that I'll just agree to disagree and move on from responding to you in this thread.
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MissAnn 01:12 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
Let's all calm down. It's just fairy tale talk.

We aren't talking about corporal punishment here.
This made me laugh!
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spud912 01:18 PM 03-05-2013
I love fairy tales. I love every aspect of them. The majority of people do not know the "real" meaning of many of them so I don't think the children are learning anything inappropriate unless you are explaining their origins at the same time.

It's the same with adults listening to music. I'm sure we would ban many of our favorite songs after actually listening and comprehending what the lyrics were of many popular songs. I would rather put my blinders on and enjoy life .

On a side note, we do ring around the rosy nearly every day . I find it's a great song to get the kids together to start circle time.
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AmyLeigh 02:35 PM 03-05-2013
Originally Posted by just_peachy:
I guess I see fairy tales as part of history. They were written/told with the intention to be passed down; to leave a legacy. They were a way of imparting wisdom, explaining truths. Of course they're going to be "sugar coated" for kids, but that doesn't mean there aren't any value to them. If anything, as kids grow older and the history behind the fairy tales are learned, their attachment to the gravity of the reality is deepened. As opposed to the "meh who cares, that's ancient history" mentality.

To me, it's kind of like the process of explaining sex to a kid.

If a 3 year old wants to know how babies are made, you don't bust in with a complete explanation, diagrams and all... they get the "when Mommy and Daddy love each other very much..." version. As time progresses, that version changes in an age appropriate way.

While I understand the argument, I think it'd be a loss to toss fairy tales away because of their grimness. I think their cultural value is significant.
ITA. Very well put.
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canadiancare 06:07 AM 03-06-2013
Age appropriate choices in life. My kids got the toned down versions when they were little and were reading Grimm's Grimmest by 8 years old right alongside Goosebumps and Harry Potter. Expose your children to spoken and written words and feed their minds and imaginations. It is THE time in their lives where the connection between magic and fantasy vs reality is being made.

The only song I edit is


In a cabin in the woods
A little man by the window stood
Saw a rabbit passing by
Knocking at his door
Help me help me
The rabbit said
I am hungry and I need to be fed (instead of "or the hunter will shoot me dead")
Come little rabbit come with me
So happy we will be
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Blackcat31 06:54 AM 03-06-2013
Wow...who knew fairy tales were so controversial.
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julie 10:00 AM 03-06-2013
Well, as someone who just finished a course in Fairy Tales and their origins, here are my thoughts on this. They were passed down in the oral tradition from passing travelers going from village to village as a means of entertainment. Since the storytellers were often different, the stories evolved, some were grimmer, some were more "sugary-and-kid oriented". Since entertainment seemed to involve the whole village, both kids and adults were in attendance at the telling of these stories. These stories often had two meanings to appeal to both audiences. While we can make guesses as to the subtext based on what was going on in the world at the time these stories originated, it's up to you how to interpret the story.

My professor said that "Little Red Riding Hood" could easily be a tale of caution to young women that "wolves", i.e. young men would be out to rape her and take her virginity if she didn't guard herself carefully, whereas the kids could take it as "Don't talk to strangers".

Different authors took these oral traditions and put them to paper starting about the 15th or 16th century. Some authors like the Grimm Brothers tended to go a little towards the dark side, while other authors like Perrault tended to have more of a light-hearted feel to them with funny morals at the end. The fact is neither approach is wrong. The reason fairy tales are so enduring is because they were easily adaptable and could appeal to many age ranges. Basically if you are looking to find something in a Fairy Tale, if you look hard enough, you can find what you're looking for.

Therefore, if you are looking for negativity and horrific things in fairytales Willow, you are sure to find them. There are surely adaptations of the verbal stories written by authors that tended towards the darker side of things. But that does not mean that the people that sugar-coated things a bit and wrote it more for kids are not true versions either. They are another adaptation of the oral tradition and that has been encouraged since the days of myths and legends in Greece. Did you know that one test of a true myth was its ability to be adapted and changed to suit its audience? If you were not there in the very beginning of time when the first storyteller thought up the story for his first audience, then you haven't heard the originals, so those that are saying that should stop preaching. I think it's great that the stories are shared in daycares, and that caregivers can choose whatever adaptation they are comfortable sharing with the children.
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julie 10:09 AM 03-06-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wow...who knew fairy tales were so controversial.
Haha, I know, right?
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Hunni Bee 10:43 AM 03-06-2013
I got the real Hans Christian Andersen version of "The Little Mermaid" when I was in Kindergarten. I still have it.

In the real version, the mermaid had to stab in the prince in the heart and let his blood splash on her feet in order for her to be changed back into a mermaid from a girl. And she drowns herself in the end because she can't do it.

I keep it because it's a classic and the watercolors are beautiful, but my child will not be reading that book. I prefer other types of stories anyway.
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MissAnn 10:44 AM 03-06-2013
Ok this might seem a little juvenile, but I'm on cloud 9 that MY post made Michael's "Hot Topics" email! I need a crown or at least a Little Debbie!
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Blackcat31 12:31 PM 03-06-2013
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Ok this might seem a little juvenile, but I'm on cloud 9 that MY post made Michael's "Hot Topics" email! I need a crown or at least a Little Debbie!


This will have to do, it's all I have!
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spud912 01:04 PM 03-06-2013
Originally Posted by julie:
Well, as someone who just finished a course in Fairy Tales and their origins, here are my thoughts on this. They were passed down in the oral tradition from passing travelers going from village to village as a means of entertainment. Since the storytellers were often different, the stories evolved, some were grimmer, some were more "sugary-and-kid oriented". Since entertainment seemed to involve the whole village, both kids and adults were in attendance at the telling of these stories. These stories often had two meanings to appeal to both audiences. While we can make guesses as to the subtext based on what was going on in the world at the time these stories originated, it's up to you how to interpret the story.

My professor said that "Little Red Riding Hood" could easily be a tale of caution to young women that "wolves", i.e. young men would be out to rape her and take her virginity if she didn't guard herself carefully, whereas the kids could take it as "Don't talk to strangers".

Different authors took these oral traditions and put them to paper starting about the 15th or 16th century. Some authors like the Grimm Brothers tended to go a little towards the dark side, while other authors like Perrault tended to have more of a light-hearted feel to them with funny morals at the end. The fact is neither approach is wrong. The reason fairy tales are so enduring is because they were easily adaptable and could appeal to many age ranges. Basically if you are looking to find something in a Fairy Tale, if you look hard enough, you can find what you're looking for.

Therefore, if you are looking for negativity and horrific things in fairytales Willow, you are sure to find them. There are surely adaptations of the verbal stories written by authors that tended towards the darker side of things. But that does not mean that the people that sugar-coated things a bit and wrote it more for kids are not true versions either. They are another adaptation of the oral tradition and that has been encouraged since the days of myths and legends in Greece. Did you know that one test of a true myth was its ability to be adapted and changed to suit its audience? If you were not there in the very beginning of time when the first storyteller thought up the story for his first audience, then you haven't heard the originals, so those that are saying that should stop preaching. I think it's great that the stories are shared in daycares, and that caregivers can choose whatever adaptation they are comfortable sharing with the children.
Wow, thanks for all the info
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MissAnn 01:52 PM 03-06-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


This will have to do, it's all I have!
Wow! I promise to share! Thank you!
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canadiancare 06:19 AM 03-07-2013
I have never had a Little Debbie or a Twinkie.
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MissAnn 10:08 AM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by canadiancare:
I have never had a Little Debbie or a Twinkie.
Now that's sad! Don't like twinkles, but any kind of Little Debbie gets an Anin my book!
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mom2many 10:25 AM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wow...who knew fairy tales were so controversial.


I just read this thread...

I learn something new every day!
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Starburst 10:52 AM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by canadiancare:
I have never had a Little Debbie or a Twinkie.
Well you will never have twinkies now, or ho-hos- Hostess is out of business . You can still have little debbies or swiss rolls, but I think ho-hos taste better then little debbies and swiss rolls- they aren't as dry.
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Lucy 07:34 PM 03-07-2013
I hesitate to even open this can of worms, but the bible is full of scary stories that are "child-proofed".
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mom2many 08:01 PM 03-07-2013
Originally Posted by Lucy:
I hesitate to even open this can of worms, but the bible is full of scary stories that are "child-proofed".
Wish I could LOVE this and not just like it! So very true indeed!
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Tags:culture, fairy tales, folklore, make believe, traditions
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