So I just found out that DCK is having to spend the night in the hospital and undergo further testing.
I was notified via text from the mom who said she would update me more tomorrow, too much to discuss in text.

I'm feeling very sad yet very happy the DCK was finally taken in to get the much needed help. I just hope it was in time.

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I hope she eventually realizes she should have listened to you. Hope it doesn't turn out to be something serious.

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YAY!!!

Not that the girl has to be in the hospital, but....that she is getting the attention and treatment that she needs! I am SO GLAD that you kept on this mom and got her to do the right, responsible thing and get that child to a doctor.

Okay, in a weird, roundabout sort of way, I guess I am glad that she's in the hospital...it's better than the alternative and it means that she's getting taken care of.

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Thank heaven those parents finally listened to you and did what they should have done DAYS ago. Good for you for standing up for this child.

I hope the DCG is going to be ok.

Keep us posted.

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Yes, please keep us posted. Good job, you! I hope to God everything turns out alright. Wow.

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At last! Let's hope the child didn't pass out or convulse before they took her to the hospital but something tells me they probably waited that long.

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That's great news that dck is finally getting evaluated and treated. I bet the mom feels horrible for not listening to you in the first place. I hope dck is ok and gets to come home soon.

Please KUP!

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That is great news!! I am proud of you for being persistent with this mom. It is sad sometimes when a provider spends more time with a child and is trying to tell a parent what is wrong with that child and they let it go in one ear and out the other.
This shows what a GREAT provider you are!!!

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I bet they are feeling pretty dumb right about now- wishing they would have listened to you sooner. Glad she's finally getting the help she needs.

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Glad she is getting cared for now. Maybe this will scare the parents into being responsible from now on.

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Rockstar Child Advocate Award goes to.....

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Yay! I'm so happy to see this update... well not so happy that she really does have a serious condition to warrant hospitalization; but happy that she is getting the treatment she needs.

I hope the mom learned a lesson here... let's hope she never ever lets any serious symptoms go untreated again.

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You are an excellent and caring provider! Im glad this dck is getting good treatment and hope she comes out healthy and her parents pay better attention. Whats it take huh?

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I agree!!! You get the golden provider award this week!! If EVERY child in our great country had guardians like you,....... Well wow, I'd LOVE that united states!!

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awe thanks that was very sweet of you to say.... I am very happy that the child is getting the much needed care and hoping that the child will be ok. I plan to have a long talk with the mom this weekend. I am feeling very taken back by their lack of concern for their child and dont want to be put in this situation again. I cant even begin to tell you how many hours I spent on the phone, internet and crying about this situation. If the parents cant trust my judgement with their child, then why am I caring for them?
What would you do. This is the second time that I have had to deal with these parents not listening to my concerns about the childs well being......

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Hopefully this will open their eyes!!!

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Daycare, I understand how you feel in regards to worrying about the well being of a daycare child and having the weight of the situation on your shoulders. See my previous thread on a situation that occurred at my daycare a couple months ago.

The thing is, if this had happened with me, I would have called CPS. This wasn't something you should have had to carry around and worry so much about. You still have grounds to call them, their lack of medical treatment very possibly damaged this little girl... maybe even permanently. The moment I called CPS, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders b/c I knew they would investigate and handle the situation.

Anyway, during your talk with mom; I would tell her that the next time you witness serious symptoms and she doesn't seek medical treatment, that you WILL call CPS. I think that will be enough to let her know you are not messing around; and she'd better start taking her daughter's symptoms more seriously.

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Any new update on that family BTW?

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Thanks for asking!

The investigation is closed and they decided it did not warrant any action. The dad claimed that she "just would not eat for him" but she WOULD eat snacks, so that's all she would eat for the six weeks she was with him. As far as why she shut down completely with her communication, I just don't know. I do know that within two weeks with me she was pretty much back to normal. She is communicating well, eating well, & she gained the weight back and just recently grew a whole bunch! I would say she's grown about an inch since that post. She hasn't gone back to see her dad since. Nothing is planned yet as to when they will be visiting him again.

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Nope... I sent a text this morning to ask how the child is doing, but I did not get a reply.....................

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What was the diagnosis on the white poop? Hope dck is OK now!!

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Ditto?????

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as of right now the parents have not given me any feed back as to exactly what the issue is. In fact guess what... I am getting the finger pointed at me right now. Go figure.

I don't even know what is wrong with the child, but somehow I am at fault. Its a really long story.

All that I know is that DCK spent 4 nights in the hospital, has not been back since last week on Thursday.

I have no clue when and if the DCK will be coming back. Having no news and not too sure what is going on, I have to think right now what I am going to do about all of this.

I am tired of the drama that I have had to go through to get this family to seek medical attention for their child, not once, but twice. Both times it was very serious medical reasons. I called CPS this morning and they are not sure if I have a case or not??? HUH really? Their reasoning is because I don't know what is medically wrong with the child. Legally the family does not have to tell me?? UUUGGHH

as you can see, this whole situation is a huge mess... I will keep you all informed, when i am informed of what is going on and how I will be able to take of this once and for all....

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Agh...so much for a thank you for being so caring to their child I guess. I hope that you find out what it is...Hugs

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Now I'm curious though. I wanna know the long story! If you feel like sharing, that is. That's ridiculous that they're trying to blame you.

What an awful situation; I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I hope the girl ends up being all right in the end. You did everything in your power, and it's NOT your fault.

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I can post it at nap time, I am about to make lunch right now....get back to ya in a few..

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I am so mad to hear they are blaming you!

And I am mad that CPS doesn't know if you have a case or not. I hope they investigate (I think they have to at least make a visit to the parents). BUT, I think you have done the right thing. At least you can say you have done everything in your power to help this child; you have our support!

I'm very interested to hear this long story when you can post it!

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Please note, I'm not typically pessimistic...

I HIGHLY DOUBT IT!! I did the multi quote thing when I read this because I honestly have my doubts. I have a LOT of opinions about this situation, some based on experience with careless people, and some based on what Daycare had posted in previous posts.

Having read a previous related post, I can only imagine who is blaming you, and I suspect the one parent is much more the cause of that than the other...

Reading the bolded parts of your post it seems as though you really want to term due to the stress and the uncaring and unwilling to trust you and your opinion. I can also see how deep down in your heart you could be torn. Wanting to keep this girl in your care because it seems as though you are the only one who truly keeps an eye on her, yet at the same time you are more than ready to terminate the parents. I couldn't imagine going through what you are.

I really hope everything turns out for both the girl and for you!

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yoy hit it on the head to a "T" I am so torn, tired and stressed................. its a tough spot to be in................

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So I dont want to air all the drama out there about this whole situation, as I don't know where it stands right now..

Long story short....
Not sure if you recall me saying that the DCK was not eating at all. It went on for about a week or so. Every time the DCK did not eat I document it. Everything, the type of food served/refused, and the amounts of food that was offered. Each day that this happened, I talked to the DCM and told her DCK did not eat or drink anything again today. DCM was not bothered by it at all. Said well DCK eats at home just fine. Child has been here over a year, so nothing new with my food. Like I said, this went on for a little over a week.
DCK gets sick at home with the parents and the parents think that DCK got the 24 bug/flu or food poisioning of some kind. This was on a Friday that this happened and over into the weekend.

Tuesday, DCK comes back to care. DCD drops off and says nothing. This is the day that I notice the white stool. I called the DCM right away and voiced my concerns. Told her about my findings online and etc. Mom states oh DCD did not tell you that DCK was sick over the weekend and we have had DCK on the BRAT diet. I bet that is why DCK has white stool. Again, I tell the DCM well I am very concerned that the DCK has not been eating and now white stool, sick over the weekend with vomiting something is not right here.
I ask if DCK is taking any kind of medication, DCM says no. I tell DCM I think that the DCK needs to seek medical advice about the current problems and cannot come back until DCK has been seen by a doctor, DCM exact words were it's not in your rules that the DCK cant come back to care if not seen by a doctor for this reason...UUUGGGGHHHH

Next day DCK comes late and leaves early. I was told that I needed to have proof of the white stool and was hoping to get a collection of it, but that didnt happen before DCK left for the day.

I call and talk with the mom and finally tell the mom that she really has no choice but to take her child to the doctors. If she does not, then I have to turn her in for neglect and endangerment to her child. She was almost in tears. The husband is a very controlling person, and he and I don't get along at all. This woman cannot do anything without getting prior approval from her husband. I mean anything.

I know I said that this would be short....sorry Im getting to the point...lol
So DCK ends up int he hospital, at first it was just over night, then it turned out to be 4 days. During this time I try to give the family space and privacy, but still contacted them out of concern. The parents give me little information at all. No details and just don't really say much.

last night I get a call from the DCD and he wants to know why I was not properly feeding their child?? When I asked why he thinks that he says that this is what the MOM told him and the CHILD as well?? hhmm ok. So I go on to tell the DCD that I have been telling mom for the last 1.5 weeks that the child has not been eating or drinking at all, I asked would you like to see my documents that I have kept stating this. He then draws a blank. Says nothing and then changes the subject.

He then goes on to tell me that I should have told them sooner that I saw problems with the child... UUUMMM HELLO I did.....
He tells me that there is some serious medical problem and that if they would have only known sooner, the problem may not be so bad....I still have no idea what is wrong with the DCK.

At this point I am about to pop. I wonder if they can't hear me when I talk?? I had been telling them and they chose to do nothing about it.
I did not want to get into with the dad and make the situation worse, so I told him I am sorry that everyone is having to go through this right now, especially the DCK. Please do your best to keep me informed on how DCK is doing and let them know that we all miss DCK and hope that they get better soon so they can come back.

the jerk says oh you miss my kid now that they are gone and I have to still pay you. Then hangs up on me.
DCM called right back and says how sorry she is. Blah blah blah. This is all that I can hear right now.

I talk to DCM for about 10 minutes and can hear in her voice that she is about to cry. I told her that if there is anything that I can do to let me know and I will do everything that I can for the child. However, I told her that I would no longer be willing to communicate to her husband if he is going to sit here and disrespect me.

It was not a very good call and when the call was coming to an end, I found myself wondering if there is more going on at their house than I am aware of. The DCM sounds like she wanted to tell me something, but couldn't becuase her HB was right there.

I don't want to make assumptions, but Im feeling like there is some abuse going on here with the DCM and DCD.....

I don't even want to get into that right now, as the only thing that I really want is for this to be over...
Like someone said... I want to term over all the drama and Horse poo, but am so concerned that if I were not in this child's life what willl happen to the child?

What would you guys do?

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First off, stay strong. You are that child's advocate, and I know you would do anything for the DCK.

You might end up feeling like you got hit by a train, but remember why you threw yourself in front of it to begin with. That kid needs you to be calm, strong, and professional.

Let it play out. You will know more soon enough. It can't hurt to text mom once a day and ask about DCK.

Pray the little one is going to be ok...that's your only option for now.

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I agree, something is NOT RIGHT with these parents. Who knows what it is...

When I first read it I felt like maybe DCD was upset b/c you had been telling DCM about your concerns & maybe he didn't even know you had concerns? Maybe it was DCM who was blowing it all off and not being honest with her husband for some unknown reason? It's either that or he's so scared that thier apathy has harmed their daughter, and now dealing with the consequences; he wants to point the finger at anyone and everyone. That would be you. YOU did everything you could and THANK GOODNESS you documented everything!

Brace yourself for a visit with CPS. But just know you will end up just fine b/c you've been documenting everything.

I agree with MissNiki, I would say ride this out. You will eventually know what it is the child has been diagnosed with. As far as dealing with DCD, you don't have to put up with him disrespecting you in that way. If he calls you again, and starts his accusations again, I would tell him you don't deserve to be treated the way he is treating you and hang up.

I really hope she's okay.

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Wait it out a bit. Stay strong, this may be a case of "shooting the messenger".

There may be other issues, but for now try to just sit back and don't take it personally...

Lashing out and placing blame may be just stage one of their guilt process...

I have been on this side of the fence a few times, myself..not in the Daycare field, but at my former job.

Deep down, they know better....even if they don't accept it, yet.

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This, this this. What a sad situation. I don't say this kind of thing often, but shame on her parents for not seeking medical care for dcg sooner. You did everything right--EVERYTHING.

The parents may be trying to place blame on you right now because they're hurting and feeling guilty that their kid is seriously ill and it could have been prevented, "if only". Hindsight is 20/20--my mom has been in the hospital since just after Thanksgiving and now, months later, my sisters and I can all point to the warning signs of her illness in the days before it got as bad as it did...but you know what? In our case, there's nothing that could have stopped what happened to my mom and we STILL feel kind of bad for not picking up that there was something odd going on.

Keep asking after dcg. Maybe you and the other dcks could make Get Well cards and send them to the hospital with some nice flowers, or something. I really hope this all turns out well, for your sake, for the girl's, and for the family's.

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Daycare.....are you genuinely concerned about abuse between DCD and DCM? If you are, is there any way you can reach out to MOm? Maybe a phone call and invite for coffee? Let her know that you realize she has been under alot of stress with DCG and thought she might like to get out and have a cup of coffee and shoot the breeze? Maybe slip in a few blurbs about a hypothetical situation - that maybe she can see herself in and she may ask for help?

Thank you for standing up for and protecting this child. And, I hope that things are okay - for all of them.

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Man what a tough situation. I'd also try and reach out to the mom, especially if she seemed like she wanted to say something and didn't. Invite her over to talk, hopefully she'll get the point you don't want her dh to come. I wonder, if you could stop by the hopspital with you know ONLY mom will be there, so you can talk privately with her. Bring cards and crafts from the kids. In the end, it's that poor little girl who is suffering.

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I have thought about wanting to help the mom, see if there is something going on but then really thought about all the stress and drama I am dealing with now. Who knows what more would come. I'm not sure how the DCD is as a person and would not want to put my family on harm or get into the middle of another problems. I will never turn my back on this DCM or DCK but right now it's just a hunch that I have that there might be going something on. I think the best thing that I can do is just report it to CPS as well. I expected a call back from them today but did not get one.

Trust me I wish I knew how to help, but need to be careful and tread lightly. I know my husband would not be happy if I were to pursue this situation anymore, he said it's hard to watch me go through this.

Thanks for the support and responses

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Daycare also make sure you print off the forums you wrote about this problem it will show the date when you became concerned and the parents didnt listem get all the reports you wrote up also be prepared for a visit from either CPS or you licenses people. It sounds like the Dad is a control freak and will not allow Mom to give you any info so I doubt he will even let her come visit you. You did all you can do and should not worry about it anymore I do suggest if they bring daycare girl back and if you accept her back that you REQUIRE a note from the hosptial or doctors. Good luck and try not to worry anymore you did all you can do.

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Its so important - send it home in writing - give it to mom or dad, have it ready after lunch, never miss it, have them sign the copy. No excuse for not talking to a parent, but if you don't have time, the note is there.

Sometimes kids go home, are not so hungry, and nothing is wrong....but not eating all day (or drinking) is something everyone in a kids circle of care needs to be watching.

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