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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>A Vent But Ideas Are Welcome
cheerfuldom 05:39 PM 07-20-2011
Right now my group is very young and I spend a good part of the day just changing diapers, warming milk, spoon feeding, etc. I have 6 kids total including mine (3.5, barely 2, almost 2, 10 months, 8 months, 10 weeks). Both of my 2 year olds are very babyish in that I can't trust them to do any big kid activities without careful supervision (no playdoh, no crayons, that sort of thing). There is also a lot of crying in the house but it is rarely ever just one of them. The 3 youngers all cry to sleep, not angry crying, just crying and fussing to calm down but even at 15 min. each kid, each nap thats a lot. The older 3 are going thru some small issues but added up, its a lot of whining, fussing at each other, shouts of "my turn" and the such. I already decided not to take anyone younger than my youngest DC kid because I would love to be able to actually do stuff with them and not as much of the baby caretaking of feedings and bottles and lots of naps. I am really trying to get each kid to do as much for themselves as possible for their age (like learning to hold their own bottles) but besides that I guess it is just time and patience. Anybody else have a really young group too?

Maybe off topic but one issue is that one of the 2 year olds is in therapy for delays. She is progressing well with walking (finally took a step at 18months), talking, showing independence and such. The problem is that the therapist and the mom are encouraging her to speak up for herself by using phrases like "mine", "my turn", "stop it!" and that sort of thing but she brings her new "skills" here and I all of a sudden have a slightly aggressive child on my hands. She hoards toys and just waits till someone comes by so she can shout out her new phrases whether she has been approached or not. This is shocking to me because she has always been the one that played the best with others until lately with this push from mom and therapist to use these specific words. She will walk by someone and just start swatting her hand at them until the get hit and that sort of thing. The therapist has come here before and I have seen her in action with this little one and she does encourage her to speak aggressively. If someone accidentally or on purpose takes something from this DCG, the therapist will tell her to go get it back and tell the other kid "no, thats mine!" and I don't see that as a great solution to toy snatching in the first place because of course the other kid shouts back "no mine!" and then they get in a tussel and I have to break it up. By the way, the therapist only came here 3 times and I agreed to this on a trial basis but the trial is over and she is not doing therapy here. Any thoughts on this issue?
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Unregistered 07:13 PM 07-20-2011
Wow - therapist at age 2! I've been told that I was nearly 18 months old before I walked (2 older brothers who fetched for me!) and I've managed to graduate from college and lead a productive life w/out any therapists. All the "mine" behavior just comes naturally to kids - but if one were delayed in that for goodness sake why would you teach it?!
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SilverSabre25 07:46 PM 07-20-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow - therapist at age 2! I've been told that I was nearly 18 months old before I walked (2 older brothers who fetched for me!) and I've managed to graduate from college and lead a productive life w/out any therapists. All the "mine" behavior just comes naturally to kids - but if one were delayed in that for goodness sake why would you teach it?!
Okay, it's not therapy like I think you're thinking of...it's probably Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy. Therapy from a medical standpoint, not a mental one, if you can appreciate the difference.

OP, I'm sorry I don't have any useful advice for you, but I did go through that "young group" thing myself about a year ago. I'm SO thrilled that now my group is aging up to being able to do fun activities (even though one of my two's is still prone to eating crayons and shoving markers up his nose). I need a new client but am unwilling to take a baby because I like my older group.

I would not be happy with a parent and/or therapist recommending that a child use phrases like that. I think I understand where they're coming from ...but I would still be uncomfortable with that. The "My turn!" one in particular would rub me the wrong way. Teaching her to communicate that she wants someone to stop, I don't have such a problem with. Teaching her to say "Mine!" would be frustrating too, as I don't let them use that phrase since it *isn't* theirs...it's MINE.
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cheerfuldom 05:52 AM 07-21-2011
yes its therapy from a medical standpoint!
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AnneCordelia 06:04 AM 07-21-2011
I also have a very young group.

My own 3yo & 10mo. Then DCG12mo, DCB 12mo, DCB 15mo and DCB3yo.

I planned it like this though...my group this time next year will be really awesome, and already know the rules.

My own 3yo didn't take a step until 18mos. He was nonverbal until just after his 2nd birthday and one day just clicked...now he talks non-stop and runs out of bed in the morning. LOL. We pushed words that would help his every day: hungry, potty, water, that, ect. I can't imagine letting manners take a backseat though. If he said, "MINE!" I would ask him how to say it nicely and then tell him the words to use. Be simple but it's reasonable to model and expect polite behaviours, IMO.
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cheerfuldom 06:34 AM 07-21-2011
she really did need the therapy. she couldn't even cruise at 18months, no standing on her own, no squatting down to play toys, no climbing. there was nothing to show that she was going to do any of these things any time soon, let alone walk on her own.
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SandeeAR 06:58 AM 07-21-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow - therapist at age 2! I've been told that I was nearly 18 months old before I walked (2 older brothers who fetched for me!) and I've managed to graduate from college and lead a productive life w/out any therapists. All the "mine" behavior just comes naturally to kids - but if one were delayed in that for goodness sake why would you teach it?!
Yep, theraphy! My DD is a Childrens Physical Therapist. She has evaluated babies as young as 6 weeks. (Usually at that age b/c they aren't moving their heads correctly). Physical, Occupational, and Speech Theraphy can be very helpful to children with delays.
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CheekyChick 08:39 AM 07-21-2011
I think babies are hard (due to the amount of care they require) and school agers are hard (attitudes, boredom, etc.). I love ages 2 through 5. They can communicate, they're still little and cute, and they are so loving and entertaining! Just keep focusing on the fact that the children will get older and you can move on to the fun stuff.
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dEHmom 11:45 AM 07-21-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
I think babies are hard (due to the amount of care they require) and school agers are hard (attitudes, boredom, etc.). I love ages 2 through 5. They can communicate, they're still little and cute, and they are so loving and entertaining! Just keep focusing on the fact that the children will get older and you can move on to the fun stuff.
I agree....

I have 2 dcb's both are 1.5 yrs and right now i'm going insane. The 2 of them give me the biggest run for my money, and some days i honestly wonder if it's worth it. They are both pretty good babies, and the one that used to give me the most trouble (for those that remember....the one who screams at the gate cause he wants in the kitchen, and is very angry baby) had sure grown up all of a sudden. Yesterday though, he bit my other dcb but other dcb rips everything away from the first one. And he was trying to steal dcb 1's hat off his head, and so dcb one chomped down on dcb 2's wrist.

They are in that stage right now where they are still babyish but a little more grown up too. They are constantly pulling everything out and as i am cleaning up one thing, they are doing something else. I find myself saying "no please don't play with that, that's miss e's, here is your toys" or "please don't throw your plate/bowl on the floor". Today they both wanted second helpings and i've been trying to teach them to keep their plates/bowls on the table instead of throwing it on the floor, and so I never gave them seconds. First helpings certainly was more than enough for their age, they are both big eaters, and they had a snack half hour later, but it drives me bonkers. They get away with a lot more because they are still a little too young for certain types of explaining, expectations (although i am trying to help them understand expectations), and disciplines. I think from now on my group will have to be 2 + because I am done with this 1.5 yo phase after these 2 dcbs. I don't think I can take another round. Maybe just with 1 at a time.
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MommyMuffin 11:55 AM 07-21-2011
I have:
2 - 3 year olds,
2 year old
almost 2 year old
10 month old
6 month old
my own newborn

Having this combination is very difficult. To keep everyone safe and engaged in activities is hard. I want to raise children from when they are infants for my daycare so they become attached and know the rules as they grow.

I think if you wait it out like I am you will have an older group in a year or so that; knows you well, knows your daycare well, knows the other kids well.

I also told myself that in the future I will only have 1 infant at a time.
But I personally think toddlers are the HARDEST!!

As for the "mine," I would be concerned about my own child picking up on this behavior. I would have a talk with mom.
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cheerfuldom 12:00 PM 07-21-2011
you know what? I actually like toddlers. Its the 8months to about a year that is hard for me because if I remember right, EVERY kid has gone thru the crying, carry me, entertain me, don't leave me for a second thing. I have had a few kids hit that stage really, really bad.
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Tags:developmentally delayed, possessive, vent
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