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  #1  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:24 AM
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Default Need Bite Advice Quick

I have a DCK that just got bitten by another DCK. It's broken through a couple of layers of skin and left several instant bruises that are dark purple. There is no blood but the skin was scraped off in several places.

Does she need a tetanus shot? I'm going to call mom now but wanted to be able to advise her.
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  #2  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:28 AM
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I'd send her home to let the mom decide. The parent should probably call the doctor.
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Old 12-12-2011, 07:45 AM
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I called Dad and he's calling their doctor and then calling me back.

Now what do I do with the biter?
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  #4  
Old 12-12-2011, 07:48 AM
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How old is the biter? I would definitely separate, but I guess the rest depends on if this is a first offense and the age of the biter.....
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Old 12-12-2011, 07:57 AM
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How old is the biter? I would definitely separate, but I guess the rest depends on if this is a first offense and the age of the biter.....
Yep. If he's three, he'd be in much bigger trouble, than if he were 18 months.
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  #6  
Old 12-12-2011, 08:09 AM
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She's 2.75 and a repeat offender. She normally bites her sibling or my 8 year old but has bitten me before. I separate her for the rest of the day in a separate play space when she bites, have her shadow me and watch her like a hawk. She bites randomly and it can be weeks or months part for the last year.

She doesn't get along well with anyone really. She tattles constantly for things that didn't happen especially on the youngest and the dropin babies. She wrecks games, takes toys and generally doesn't play well with OR around other children.

The child she bit today is the youngest and she is quite jealous of her. I normally keep them apart but today I only had a couple of kids so I decided to try them together. I turned my back to get something out of the closet and the bite happened.
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Old 12-12-2011, 08:15 AM
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uh, I wish I had some good advice but I honestly don't. I know kids bite out of frustration and general lackof communication skills but this one almost seems as though she is doing it to get attention...

I would separate her for sure but I would also consider putting her on a probationary period where if she bites 3x's she is out. I don't know if that would work for you but I do think something needs to be done...mostly to protect the other kids but also to protect you. This is one of the frustrating things about this job and the fact that there is never an easy answer. It is just a hard subject to deal with since so many kids bite for so many different reasons.

What is the general attitude of the parents? Do they know it is a problem? Are they trying to work on it at home or does it not happen at home? There are so many variables that it sometimes feels like by the time you do figure it out, the kid is in grade school already and the point is now moot ....kwim?

Again, I wish I had some advice...all I have though is support for you! Hang in there..
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  #8  
Old 12-12-2011, 08:54 AM
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I would definitely create a play place just for her alone. I don't think I'd allow her to be near the other kids today. How will her parents handle this when you tell them?
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  #9  
Old 12-12-2011, 09:30 AM
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The parents are on board dealing with issues. She doesn't bite at home but honestly they don't have much time awake at home just playing. It's hard for them to fix what doesn't happen at home although they do talk to her about it and have threatened to take things away at home if she doesn't behave here. (Not just for biting but for other things with her)

I'm really approaching the point of talking about terminating. I don't feel like I can keep other children safe from her unpredictable behavior unless she is separated. I can't keep her separated forever though.

She's an attention seeking child. Normally the first thing she says when anyone enters a room is, "Look at me!" while jumping or just tilting her head and smiling. I do think this is attention seeking behavior or jealousy. She almost always bites on the back usually when other children are seated facing away from her. She normally bites me on the back of the leg when my back is to her.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:50 AM
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I'd say "good bye" there will be no child ever who wants to bite me just because she wants attention, I find it odd that she doesn't bite her parents. At this age she knows better, its bad to say, but sometimes you need a child to bite her back to see the pain.
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  #11  
Old 12-12-2011, 10:16 AM
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That'd be a ticket out the door. I don't do biting. And, if she's a repeat offender and almost 3, you can bet she's biting because of anger, frustration or behavior.
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  #12  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:17 PM
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Here is the larger problem. I would be terming both children (she has a sibling) and their mother happens to be a friend of 20+ years. How do I term without losing my friend?

I will lose the friend, that I have no doubt. I nearly "ended" the friendship when I got rid of part time care and they had to go FT.
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  #13  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:25 PM
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DC girl that was bitten has two gouges out of her arm and deep bruises several hours later. The doctor said since it was cleaned well and her tetanus was up to date we were to watch it for 48 hours and if there was any sign of redness, heat or swelling that he would put her on a 10 day course of antibiotics right away.
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  #14  
Old 12-12-2011, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
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Here is the larger problem. I would be terming both children (she has a sibling) and their mother happens to be a friend of 20+ years. How do I term without losing my friend?

I will lose the friend, that I have no doubt. I nearly "ended" the friendship when I got rid of part time care and they had to go FT.
Since mom is a long time friend, I would talk with her honestly and see if you can ask her to put herself in your shoes and see how she would deal with this issue....especially if it concerns the safety of others. How would she feel if it were her child being biten all the time?

Maybe you can keep the sib and mom can find another program (same age kids and not a mixed age group) that keeps her dd too busy to bite. I don't mean that you are doing anything wrong, just that you have littles that you have to watch out for....kwim?
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  #15  
Old 12-12-2011, 01:30 PM
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Sometimes you can term a child mutually...meaning, sit with the mother and come out with a "behavior improvement plan." If by your suggested date, this behavior does not improve, then you and mom have to work together to find what is in the child's best interst. Mention that sometimes it is a change in environment and you may not be the right person for her child and something isn't working. I think when you talk about the child's best interest at stake and talk to her about what you are seeing, she may understand where you are coming from. Keep it clear that this is not that you don't like her child, but you care enough about her that you want to find the best fit for her. This might help the blow a bit.
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  #16  
Old 12-12-2011, 02:15 PM
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I'd probably not terminate her over this. I'd let this be one of the final straws, but it wouldn't be the very last one.

I think this child has some other issues that perhaps need to be addressed. Plus, just before age three, some kids are just super obnoxious.

I feel like she's getting old enough to learn that this is not going to work for her, and you will be making her little world a very unpleasant place unless she stops biting.
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  #17  
Old 12-12-2011, 02:22 PM
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OUCH! That sounds like a VERY nasty bite! Poor kid

As for the biter, I'd say THAT bad of a bite is warrant for, at the very least, calling Mom at work and making her pick up for the day. That might give Mom the wake up call that it will come to term if not resolved right away. As far as terming, if Mom would end a 20+ year friendship because you need to protect the other children in care, then, I'd question the friendship anyway. As an adult, she needs to understand that, not only do you have to protect the other kids, you have to protect your income as well....how long are the "vicitms" parents going to allow it to continue before they start pulling their children?

I'd ask myself, am I going to lose business from other clients if I continue to care for the biter.....if the answer is yes, it's time to term the biter.

How did the victims mom take the phone call letting her know about the bite.....and, has she seen it yet?
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  #18  
Old 12-13-2011, 04:12 AM
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Mom and Dad took it very well. Better than I did in fact. Dad said at pickup that he was sooo relieved that something major and serious hadn't happened that it put the bite in perspective for them before they saw it. When he saw my name come up on his phone he thought the worst. So the parents of the biter are concerned but trust me to resolve this in the best interests of all involved. I think it helped alot that her tetanus was up to date so they didn't have to come and get her to rush for a shot. Mom talked to their doctor on the phone within 30 minutes of the bite.

There is no sign of swelling this morning so we have about 30 hours to wait before she is clear infection-wise according to the doctor.

The parents of the biter are mortified and we're going to have a meeting tomorrow night to discuss an action plan to try and get the biter back under control. They understand I have to be able to assure all families that I can keep the group safe. I've set up a separate play space for DCG for the time being and she will only be with the group for planned activities like stories, crafts and meals. She can sit next to me during those activities.

Crystal, I totally agree with you that a true friend wouldn't end a friendship over this so I hope I can sort this out with either a resolution or a termination and keep her. But I also understand that protecting the children in my care is of primary importance in this situation. I'm prepared to have her blame me although from the conversation last night I'm not sure what will happen at our meeting. They feel really bad, embarrassed, shocked and helpless about this. I think that's a good sign that we can come up with an action plan. I am prepared to terminate by the end of this month if things don't improve and I will tell them that at our meeting. I have a new baby starting Jan.2 and I need to fix this one way or another by that time.

Thank you all for your advice and comments. I had some horrible guilt yesterday for failing to protect one of my munchkins but today I'm prepared to tackle this and win. I confessed my guilt to the dad of the victim last night and he laughed. He said she comes in black and blue every Monday from their awesome parenting and I return her healed up on Fridays every week so who is doing the better job?
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  #19  
Old 12-13-2011, 08:35 AM
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Meyou~ Feels so awesome to have great parents that are willing and open to work with you! I am glad you are all able to meet and figure out a way to deal with this issue.

In the meantime I would definitley research some ways or dealing with a biter and being bitten so that you can have an arsenal of ideas ready for the meeting and so that you are able to be open to having to try multiple things before it is resolved. Plus, if it ever happens again (having a biter) you will be more than prepared with solutions to try.

So glad your parents are so awesome with you!
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Old 12-13-2011, 01:08 PM
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Me too, blackcat. Hopefully we can work out something that will resolve the situation. I've been researching all day and I spoke to several local 30+ years of experience providers to get their thoughts too. I think I'm prepared for our meeting.
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  #21  
Old 12-15-2011, 09:02 AM
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Our meeting went well and I learned some things that clarify ALOT of this child's behavior for me. The biggest one being she hasn't napped at home in 4 months which coincides with the start of the biting. All of the biting occurred on a Monday OR on a day after a day at home and always in the morning. Thank goodness I keep good records. lol I'd mentioned to Mom and Dad that she was very tired most Mondays and often laid down with the babies at morning nap for a rest because she was too tired to play. They normally said "busy weekend" and never once mentioned not napping at home. I think this is a huge part of the problem. But all in all we have a plan and we're going to try and sort this little lady out.
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Old 12-15-2011, 11:29 AM
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Our meeting went well and I learned some things that clarify ALOT of this child's behavior for me. The biggest one being she hasn't napped at home in 4 months which coincides with the start of the biting. All of the biting occurred on a Monday OR on a day after a day at home and always in the morning. Thank goodness I keep good records. lol I'd mentioned to Mom and Dad that she was very tired most Mondays and often laid down with the babies at morning nap for a rest because she was too tired to play. They normally said "busy weekend" and never once mentioned not napping at home. I think this is a huge part of the problem. But all in all we have a plan and we're going to try and sort this little lady out.
That is awesome that you were able to get to the root of the issue! Always makes solving the puzzle easier! I hope things work out and this little gal becomes a joy again soon...minus the teeth! LOL!!
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Old 12-15-2011, 12:40 PM
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hello i also have two dachshunds pups boy n girl they are good but like to get out n play love kids as well i dont let them outside to much they more in house pups but i will be starting my daycare soon next year i will only have a few kids maybe 3 but iam not sure what to do with my pups i cant keep them cage in all day any ideas ????
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:40 PM
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hello i also have two dachshunds pups boy n girl they are good but like to get out n play love kids as well i dont let them outside to much they more in house pups but i will be starting my daycare soon next year i will only have a few kids maybe 3 but iam not sure what to do with my pups i cant keep them cage in all day any ideas ????
huh? that was random
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Old 12-15-2011, 06:02 PM
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There was another post today about puppies and I'm thinking she just posted in the wrong spot.
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Old 12-15-2011, 06:36 PM
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haha. yeah, I just thought it was funny

Welcome babofmiracles!
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  #27  
Old 12-16-2011, 02:55 AM
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Maybe my non-biting action plan can be applied to nippy dachshunds too!

Welcome to the forum babofmiracles!
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