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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Always Give Warnings?
Mom&Provider 05:42 AM 01-04-2013
I have one DCF who has been late and early numerous times since last October (they only started late summer). They aren't overly late or early, but even 10 mins makes me feel disrespected greatly. They are both aware of my hours, and DCM has even apologized for DCD dropping off early, so I know they are both aware of what they are doing but it continues! I also have issues with them sending their child ill - 90% of our illness seems to start with this one child and some of it has been pretty serious. I do my best to indicate to them that their child isn't well, list the symptoms and concern for him being here when these symptoms are at their worst. Many times he is dropped off regardless (appears to be ok and I get the full story later) and then I have to call and get them to pick-up early because of them.
My question is, have any of you given term notice without any warnings?
This family knows what they are doing wrong and that it is impacting us here, so I'm asking myself if a warning letter is really necessary when I already know they are aware of how I feel and what is happening that shouldn't?
My question is, have any of you given term notice without any warnings?
This family knows what they are doing wrong and that it is impacting us here, so I'm asking myself if a warning letter is really necessary when I already know they are aware of how I feel and what is happening that shouldn't?
littlemissmuffet 05:48 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
I have one DCF who has been late and early numerous times since last October (they only started late summer). They aren't overly late or early, but even 10 mins makes me feel disrespected greatly. They are both aware of my hours, and DCM has even apologized for DCD dropping off early, so I know they are both aware of what they are doing but it continues! I also have issues with them sending their child ill - 90% of our illness seems to start with this one child and some of it has been pretty serious. I do my best to indicate to them that their child isn't well, list the symptoms and concern for him being here when these symptoms are at their worst. Many times he is dropped off regardless (appears to be ok and I get the full story later) and then I have to call and get them to pick-up early because of them.
My question is, have any of you given term notice without any warnings?
This family knows what they are doing wrong and that it is impacting us here, so I'm asking myself if a warning letter is really necessary when I already know they are aware of how I feel and what is happening that shouldn't?
I have termed without giving warnings. Most parents KNOW when they are breaking policies but continue to test their boundries until there is a consequence. As long as your policies are clearly outlined I don't feel that parents should need constant reminders to follow them. If you have had enough, you've had enough... show them the door.I have one DCF who has been late and early numerous times since last October (they only started late summer). They aren't overly late or early, but even 10 mins makes me feel disrespected greatly. They are both aware of my hours, and DCM has even apologized for DCD dropping off early, so I know they are both aware of what they are doing but it continues! I also have issues with them sending their child ill - 90% of our illness seems to start with this one child and some of it has been pretty serious. I do my best to indicate to them that their child isn't well, list the symptoms and concern for him being here when these symptoms are at their worst. Many times he is dropped off regardless (appears to be ok and I get the full story later) and then I have to call and get them to pick-up early because of them.
My question is, have any of you given term notice without any warnings?
This family knows what they are doing wrong and that it is impacting us here, so I'm asking myself if a warning letter is really necessary when I already know they are aware of how I feel and what is happening that shouldn't?
Good luck.
Zoe 05:51 AM 01-04-2013
I've done it without warnings before, but then again I've made it VERY clear to the parents that I'm not happy with their behavior. Have you outright told the parents that what they're doing is not ok or do you just smile and nod? They may be aware that they're breaking the rules but they might also think you're ok with it if you haven't really said anything KWIM?
In this case I'd give a warning. Shape up or ship out!
In this case I'd give a warning. Shape up or ship out!
Mom&Provider 06:03 AM 01-04-2013
To ensure they are aware, even though I know they are, do you just verbally tell them at the door what has happened that day or do you write them a note?
This family is quick to tell me too much, like when they go home to nap or pack for a trip and don't come until closing or just after. I know as long as I am open they have a right to do it, but I don't need it in my face! There are a number of things I find disrespectful, but perhaps I owe them some kind of notice first?
This family is quick to tell me too much, like when they go home to nap or pack for a trip and don't come until closing or just after. I know as long as I am open they have a right to do it, but I don't need it in my face! There are a number of things I find disrespectful, but perhaps I owe them some kind of notice first?
Play Care 06:50 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
To ensure they are aware, even though I know they are, do you just verbally tell them at the door what has happened that day or do you write them a note?
This family is quick to tell me too much, like when they go home to nap or pack for a trip and don't come until closing or just after. I know as long as I am open they have a right to do it, but I don't need it in my face! There are a number of things I find disrespectful, but perhaps I owe them some kind of notice first?
They may very well be aware but since you haven't formally addressed it, they probably don't think you see it as a big deal - even though you do. And when I say formally addressed it, I mean just that. A comment here and there isn't going to cut it. While I would let a family go without "warning" per my contract it needs to be something that is blatently obvious (parent screaming at me, destroying my property, etc.). In this case becuase you've let it go they would probably be shocked. I would address it ASAP and let them know they are on thin ice. If it's something you have spoken to them about, again, not just an "you're late" comment, that would be different.To ensure they are aware, even though I know they are, do you just verbally tell them at the door what has happened that day or do you write them a note?
This family is quick to tell me too much, like when they go home to nap or pack for a trip and don't come until closing or just after. I know as long as I am open they have a right to do it, but I don't need it in my face! There are a number of things I find disrespectful, but perhaps I owe them some kind of notice first?
Meyou 07:21 AM 01-04-2013
I would formally address it and term them at the next infraction. If they come early don't open the door!!
Mom&Provider 08:15 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I would formally address it and term them at the next infraction. If they come early don't open the door!!
I would formally address it and term them at the next infraction. If they come early don't open the door!!
I know! I have had this on my mind every day since it started happening! I've left my front lights off until I open now. It's dark outside when they arrive and this morning don't you know it, 10 mins before I open they ring the bell...on my dark porch...no lights on in the front of the house!
I guess I haven't done it (leave them at the door w/o answering) since what do I say when I turn the lights on and answer 10 mins later? There really is no reason for me not to answer my door, they know I'm home and that kinda seems childish - although it would make the point. It would also cause an issue if my kids were still sleeping and they continued to ring the bell.I guess part of me has a hard time getting into a confrontation, even if it's nice, when I look after their child...I know I have to!
TBird 09:00 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
I know! I have had this on my mind every day since it started happening! I've left my front lights off until I open now. It's dark outside when they arrive and this morning don't you know it, 10 mins before I open they ring the bell...on my dark porch...no lights on in the front of the house! I guess I haven't done it (leave them at the door w/o answering) since what do I say when I turn the lights on and answer 10 mins later? There really is no reason for me not to answer my door, they know I'm home and that kinda seems childish - although it would make the point. It would also cause an issue if my kids were still sleeping and they continued to ring the bell.
I guess part of me has a hard time getting into a confrontation, even if it's nice, when I look after their child...I know I have to!
I think you can do it either way. I usually give them a chance to correct themselves so I've always warned them. BUT early drop-off is such an easy fix....I know! I have had this on my mind every day since it started happening! I've left my front lights off until I open now. It's dark outside when they arrive and this morning don't you know it, 10 mins before I open they ring the bell...on my dark porch...no lights on in the front of the house!
I guess I haven't done it (leave them at the door w/o answering) since what do I say when I turn the lights on and answer 10 mins later? There really is no reason for me not to answer my door, they know I'm home and that kinda seems childish - although it would make the point. It would also cause an issue if my kids were still sleeping and they continued to ring the bell.I guess part of me has a hard time getting into a confrontation, even if it's nice, when I look after their child...I know I have to!
PARENTS: (Ringing the door bell incessantly 10 minutes early)
YOU: (Come to the door at your opening time with a smile on your face) "Good Morning!"
PARENTS: "Oh my goodness, we've been ringing the bell for 10 minutes now!"
YOU: "OMG, REALLY???" I didn't even hear it because I don't even come downstairs until my opening time at 7:30. (Ultra bright flashy smile...grab baby...close door)
There really is no reason for you not to open the door??? Don't you shower, brush your teeth, get your clothes out, get your kids things together, and ready yourself for the day like they do every morning??? Then you certainly have every reason not to answer your door early.
littlemissmuffet 09:12 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
I know! I have had this on my mind every day since it started happening! I've left my front lights off until I open now. It's dark outside when they arrive and this morning don't you know it, 10 mins before I open they ring the bell...on my dark porch...no lights on in the front of the house! I guess I haven't done it (leave them at the door w/o answering) since what do I say when I turn the lights on and answer 10 mins later? There really is no reason for me not to answer my door, they know I'm home and that kinda seems childish - although it would make the point. It would also cause an issue if my kids were still sleeping and they continued to ring the bell.
I guess part of me has a hard time getting into a confrontation, even if it's nice, when I look after their child...I know I have to!
When you go to a store the cashiers are inside getting ready for their work day. We can see them in there, lights on, ready to go. But they don't open their doors until the time the sign says open! It isn't childish, it's life... it's childish of your daycare parents to think they can get in an extra 50 minutes minutes of daycare each week for free! This adds up to over three hours a month!!!!I know! I have had this on my mind every day since it started happening! I've left my front lights off until I open now. It's dark outside when they arrive and this morning don't you know it, 10 mins before I open they ring the bell...on my dark porch...no lights on in the front of the house!
I guess I haven't done it (leave them at the door w/o answering) since what do I say when I turn the lights on and answer 10 mins later? There really is no reason for me not to answer my door, they know I'm home and that kinda seems childish - although it would make the point. It would also cause an issue if my kids were still sleeping and they continued to ring the bell.I guess part of me has a hard time getting into a confrontation, even if it's nice, when I look after their child...I know I have to!
daycare 09:18 AM 01-04-2013
If you have already talked to them about the "issues" that they have been creating, then I would consider that their warning.
I would type up a term letter and talk to them letting them know that this is the decision you had to make based on the past issues and that XZY will be little Johnny's last day. Then hand them the letter and walk away.
I did this once, only to get a phone call about 10 min later begging to come back. I stood my ground and told the family no. I told them that I needed to spend my time focusing on the kids and taking care of them, not constantly having to remind parents of my rules. I really wish that things could have been different, but I have already filled Johnny's spot.
I know terming is never fun. Lots of anxiety and stress that come with it....
Just try to relax and know that it will all end well....
I would type up a term letter and talk to them letting them know that this is the decision you had to make based on the past issues and that XZY will be little Johnny's last day. Then hand them the letter and walk away.
I did this once, only to get a phone call about 10 min later begging to come back. I stood my ground and told the family no. I told them that I needed to spend my time focusing on the kids and taking care of them, not constantly having to remind parents of my rules. I really wish that things could have been different, but I have already filled Johnny's spot.
I know terming is never fun. Lots of anxiety and stress that come with it....
Just try to relax and know that it will all end well....
TBird 09:49 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
It isn't childish, it's life... it's childish of your daycare parents to think they can get in an extra 50 minutes minutes of daycare each week for free! This adds up to over three hours a month!!!!
It isn't childish, it's life... it's childish of your daycare parents to think they can get in an extra 50 minutes minutes of daycare each week for free! This adds up to over three hours a month!!!!
Again...we have to be mathematicians & scientists. I don't put up with these things but Lord knows we all need to keep a calculator on our desks & add these things up!!!
hgonzalez 10:01 AM 01-04-2013
I have it in my contract that I can terminate without a two week notice if the health and safety of anyone here is in danger or if my property is in danger.
I do not give warnings, but attempt to communicate with the family when there are big issues.
I do not give warnings, but attempt to communicate with the family when there are big issues.
AllDeezBabies 12:53 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by TBird:
Again...we have to be mathematicians & scientists. I don't put up with these things but Lord knows we all need to keep a calculator on our desks & add these things up!!!
Again...we have to be mathematicians & scientists. I don't put up with these things but Lord knows we all need to keep a calculator on our desks & add these things up!!!
My warnings for showing up late is an invoice with amount due for overtime. I let them know the third occurence of late pick ups is an automatic term. I don't care for the money; I need my family time. The fee is more of a deterrent to not have late pick ups.
I don't and will not open my door for anyone arriving earlier than 6:00 am.
Mom&Provider 12:55 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
When you go to a store the cashiers are inside getting ready for their work day. We can see them in there, lights on, ready to go. But they don't open their doors until the time the sign says open! It isn't childish, it's life... it's childish of your daycare parents to think they can get in an extra 50 minutes minutes of daycare each week for free! This adds up to over three hours a month!!!!
When you go to a store the cashiers are inside getting ready for their work day. We can see them in there, lights on, ready to go. But they don't open their doors until the time the sign says open! It isn't childish, it's life... it's childish of your daycare parents to think they can get in an extra 50 minutes minutes of daycare each week for free! This adds up to over three hours a month!!!!
Never thought of it that way really and I also never added it up! Thank you...seriously...for opening up my eyes to what I was allowing and didn't even consider!!
I never thought of all the times put together, but rather just the one off days, 10 mins at a time. Not sure why I never thought of adding it all up. 
Meyou 01:05 PM 01-04-2013
I think not being open for 10 more minutes is more than enough reason to leave them on the porch.
Mom&Provider 01:06 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I think not being open for 10 more minutes is more than enough reason to leave them on the porch.
LOL! I think not being open for 10 more minutes is more than enough reason to leave them on the porch.
daycare 01:06 PM 01-04-2013
ditto on that...
I will NOT open my door early unless you have arranged it with me in advance. AND rarely do I ever ok it unless it is something that is important and will not become habit.
I will NOT open my door early unless you have arranged it with me in advance. AND rarely do I ever ok it unless it is something that is important and will not become habit.
daycare 01:08 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
LOL!
I know this sounds mean, but I had a family that used to arrive early and then would knock on my door until I opened it..LOL!
My husband decided to have the automatic sprinklers come on at that time the next day and ever day after.,... the went off right at my opening time.................lol
It was the funniest thing I ever saw and dcd was really mad.....BUT he never did it again......
Mom&Provider 01:13 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I know this sounds mean, but I had a family that used to arrive early and then would knock on my door until I opened it..
My husband decided to have the automatic sprinklers come on at that time the next day and ever day after.,... the went off right at my opening time.................lol
It was the funniest thing I ever saw and dcd was really mad.....BUT he never did it again......
Double LOL!! I know this sounds mean, but I had a family that used to arrive early and then would knock on my door until I opened it..
My husband decided to have the automatic sprinklers come on at that time the next day and ever day after.,... the went off right at my opening time.................lol
It was the funniest thing I ever saw and dcd was really mad.....BUT he never did it again......
I seriously know I need to grow some...you know. I've only been doing this since 2010 and wish I had more courage to enforce things more and consistantly. Having said that, I have been tougher on this one family then any others, so I know they already know the issues...
Blackcat31 01:18 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
Double LOL!!
I seriously know I need to grow some...you know. I've only been doing this since 2010 and wish I had more courage to enforce things more and consistantly. Having said that, I have been tougher on this one family then any others, so I know they already know the issues...
The key to moving past this is to ask yourself WHY. Why are you afraid to enforce your rules and policies? What is it you are afraid will happen? What is the worst thing that could happen and how will it change/effect or help/hurt things? Double LOL!!
I seriously know I need to grow some...you know. I've only been doing this since 2010 and wish I had more courage to enforce things more and consistantly. Having said that, I have been tougher on this one family then any others, so I know they already know the issues...
Once you address that, enforcing things is super easy. I promise.
daycare 01:21 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
Double LOL!!
I seriously know I need to grow some...you know. I've only been doing this since 2010 and wish I had more courage to enforce things more and consistantly. Having said that, I have been tougher on this one family then any others, so I know they already know the issues...
here is a postive way of looking at it......those families that give you troubles are the ones that help you to grow a backbone... while it stinks now having to go through the emotional aspects of it, it does get easier the more you have to do it... You will get so good at it that you will be able to do it with ease...Double LOL!!
I seriously know I need to grow some...you know. I've only been doing this since 2010 and wish I had more courage to enforce things more and consistantly. Having said that, I have been tougher on this one family then any others, so I know they already know the issues...
Like before I used to say Johnny can't come back tomorrow hes sick.
Now I say... Oh no, Johnny, (in front of his parents).....I need you to get better so you can come play with us. We will miss you while you are gone, so draw us a picture or two. Ok guys see you on Thursday... at this time you are gesturing them out the door and saying see you thursday, get better.....
I will then make it a point to check in on Johnny later that night....Remind the parents that he is welcome to come back once he is free of fever for a full 24 hours without the aide of medication.... again send wishes of a speedy recovery, hope to see you soon....
Mom&Provider 01:26 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
The key to moving past this is to ask yourself WHY. Why are you afraid to enforce your rules and policies? What is it you are afraid will happen? What is the worst thing that could happen and how will it change/effect or help/hurt things?
Once you address that, enforcing things is super easy. I promise.
I have been asking myself that more often lately and really the only thing is they can leave. Which on one hand would solve the problem and on the other would suck for financial reasons, but at this time I have another child starting anyway soon enough, so no real issue...just wouldn't be any extra. Of course there is also the issue of I like to keep everyone happy, but I'm starting to figure out I have to make myself happy if I plan to do this for any length of time! The key to moving past this is to ask yourself WHY. Why are you afraid to enforce your rules and policies? What is it you are afraid will happen? What is the worst thing that could happen and how will it change/effect or help/hurt things?
Once you address that, enforcing things is super easy. I promise.
daycare 01:33 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
I have been asking myself that more often lately and really the only thing is they can leave. Which on one hand would solve the problem and on the other would suck for financial reasons, but at this time I have another child starting anyway soon enough, so no real issue...just wouldn't be any extra. Of course there is also the issue of I like to keep everyone happy, but I'm starting to figure out I have to make myself happy if I plan to do this for any length of time!
BINGO you need to make yourself happy first.....if you can't do that , then NO one will be happy..........another thingI have been asking myself that more often lately and really the only thing is they can leave. Which on one hand would solve the problem and on the other would suck for financial reasons, but at this time I have another child starting anyway soon enough, so no real issue...just wouldn't be any extra. Of course there is also the issue of I like to keep everyone happy, but I'm starting to figure out I have to make myself happy if I plan to do this for any length of time!
You cant possibly please everyone. I know as providers we like to try, but it's not realistic. You can give it your all and if it does not work out, then you can say well at least I tried........