Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I have NEVER!
Leigh 12:01 PM 05-16-2018
I have never met a child like this in my life. 4.5 years old. Picture a late teen who just escaped from reform school. Mouthy-not just a little sass, but extreme back talk and defiance about EVERYTHING. Please get off the couch so you don't break the back of it (she was jumping on the back of the couch first day). Rather than getting down, she aggressively says "I WANT to!". I had to lift her off the couch and place her on the floor (in the corner!).
She shrieks, screams and cries every time she hears no or gets asked not to do what she is doing or gets a consequence for her mouth or for her behavior toward the other kids. Her shriek/cry tantrums last about 30 minutes each and she shouts angry things from her time out and throws things at me (I'm way too far away to get hit by them). 3 hours in, every kid here who is verbal said that they don't like her. A 4 yr old girl who I have had for 2.5 years that NEVER gets in trouble (and doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body) punched the new girl in the face twice yesterday. This new girl (who started yesterday) has every child's anxiety level up.
The new girl is never physically aggressive, but she is verbally aggressive in that she has the most defiant mouth I have ever heard from a person of ANY age. I have experience with kids who have ODD, ADHD, trauma related behaviors, genetic based behavior issues-you name it. People send their kids to me because I have a reputation for taking special needs kids and kids who have behavior issues. I have never seen anything like this before, even in my past foster child who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom confirmed at pick up that she is the same way at home and said to address each instance, and never let her have her way when she acts like this.
Her mother seems to have her act together, and is well aware of the behavior issues and is trying to deal with them. I nearly termed this child by noon yesterday. I'm definitely going to ask the mom to have the child assessed at a local mental health care facility (which may make her pull, but I truly doubt it, since the child was kicked out of a public daycare that NO ONE gets kicked out of).
I like to give kids a month to see if we can change things. I've had "naughty" kids who have been kicked out of other daycares who have done well here. It's all a matter of whether my environment suits them or not. This one, I just don't know.
What do you all think of this kid? Have you ever seen a child like this? I can't even verbalize how "adult" and abnormal this mouth is on the child. She doesn't use bad language, just is defiant to the extreme. Also, when she isn't angry or upset, she is a dream to be around. She is adorable and sweet when she isn't thinking about murdering me.
She shrieks, screams and cries every time she hears no or gets asked not to do what she is doing or gets a consequence for her mouth or for her behavior toward the other kids. Her shriek/cry tantrums last about 30 minutes each and she shouts angry things from her time out and throws things at me (I'm way too far away to get hit by them). 3 hours in, every kid here who is verbal said that they don't like her. A 4 yr old girl who I have had for 2.5 years that NEVER gets in trouble (and doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body) punched the new girl in the face twice yesterday. This new girl (who started yesterday) has every child's anxiety level up.
The new girl is never physically aggressive, but she is verbally aggressive in that she has the most defiant mouth I have ever heard from a person of ANY age. I have experience with kids who have ODD, ADHD, trauma related behaviors, genetic based behavior issues-you name it. People send their kids to me because I have a reputation for taking special needs kids and kids who have behavior issues. I have never seen anything like this before, even in my past foster child who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom confirmed at pick up that she is the same way at home and said to address each instance, and never let her have her way when she acts like this.
Her mother seems to have her act together, and is well aware of the behavior issues and is trying to deal with them. I nearly termed this child by noon yesterday. I'm definitely going to ask the mom to have the child assessed at a local mental health care facility (which may make her pull, but I truly doubt it, since the child was kicked out of a public daycare that NO ONE gets kicked out of).
I like to give kids a month to see if we can change things. I've had "naughty" kids who have been kicked out of other daycares who have done well here. It's all a matter of whether my environment suits them or not. This one, I just don't know.
What do you all think of this kid? Have you ever seen a child like this? I can't even verbalize how "adult" and abnormal this mouth is on the child. She doesn't use bad language, just is defiant to the extreme. Also, when she isn't angry or upset, she is a dream to be around. She is adorable and sweet when she isn't thinking about murdering me.
rosieteddy 01:17 PM 05-16-2018
I think I would take a pass.If you are alone with the children how can you stop the chaos.She must be really bad if kicked out of other DC.I would tell Mom you need to see some improvement this week or you will term effective immediately. Hard to ruin all the other childrens day as well as your own.Sometimes things just do not work out.
Unregistered 01:26 PM 05-16-2018
No way, I would never keep this child in my care. My own mental health is not worth it.
Tin Blues 05:28 PM 05-16-2018
No. Just no. It isn’t your job to help every kid. This job is stressful enough as it is without adding a super challenging child. Term and don’t look back.
ChelseaB 03:45 AM 05-17-2018
I would follow my gut instincts. I also have a tendency to hold on to kiddos and perhaps give them more of a chance than other daycares may have. If it’s just unruly tantrums because she isn’t getting her way, I would personally probably give her a week or two to adjust if I felt strongly enough about it. I’ve had some wild behaviors, and they’re nearly always better by the end of the week once they realize their outburst aren’t getting them anywhere. Plus, if mom is truly working with her at home, that’s a plus.
Do whatever you feel most comfortable with! Indeed, not every child can be “fixed”, nor is it always our responsibility to try if it’s beyond our capabilities. But in my experience, the first day or two may have started out completely terrible, but they’ve nearly always straightened up A LOT by the end of the week. Now, if Mom isn’t working with her away from daycare, and she doesn’t show somewhat moderate improvement — I’d definitely term. It’s not fair to the group if she continues to disrupt their day, and heaven forbid her behaviors should negatively impact the other kiddos!
Do whatever you feel most comfortable with! Indeed, not every child can be “fixed”, nor is it always our responsibility to try if it’s beyond our capabilities. But in my experience, the first day or two may have started out completely terrible, but they’ve nearly always straightened up A LOT by the end of the week. Now, if Mom isn’t working with her away from daycare, and she doesn’t show somewhat moderate improvement — I’d definitely term. It’s not fair to the group if she continues to disrupt their day, and heaven forbid her behaviors should negatively impact the other kiddos!
amberrose3dg 03:50 AM 05-17-2018
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I have never met a child like this in my life. 4.5 years old. Picture a late teen who just escaped from reform school. Mouthy-not just a little sass, but extreme back talk and defiance about EVERYTHING. Please get off the couch so you don't break the back of it (she was jumping on the back of the couch first day). Rather than getting down, she aggressively says "I WANT to!". I had to lift her off the couch and place her on the floor (in the corner!).
She shrieks, screams and cries every time she hears no or gets asked not to do what she is doing or gets a consequence for her mouth or for her behavior toward the other kids. Her shriek/cry tantrums last about 30 minutes each and she shouts angry things from her time out and throws things at me (I'm way too far away to get hit by them). 3 hours in, every kid here who is verbal said that they don't like her. A 4 yr old girl who I have had for 2.5 years that NEVER gets in trouble (and doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body) punched the new girl in the face twice yesterday. This new girl (who started yesterday) has every child's anxiety level up.
The new girl is never physically aggressive, but she is verbally aggressive in that she has the most defiant mouth I have ever heard from a person of ANY age. I have experience with kids who have ODD, ADHD, trauma related behaviors, genetic based behavior issues-you name it. People send their kids to me because I have a reputation for taking special needs kids and kids who have behavior issues. I have never seen anything like this before, even in my past foster child who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom confirmed at pick up that she is the same way at home and said to address each instance, and never let her have her way when she acts like this.
Her mother seems to have her act together, and is well aware of the behavior issues and is trying to deal with them. I nearly termed this child by noon yesterday. I'm definitely going to ask the mom to have the child assessed at a local mental health care facility (which may make her pull, but I truly doubt it, since the child was kicked out of a public daycare that NO ONE gets kicked out of).
I like to give kids a month to see if we can change things. I've had "naughty" kids who have been kicked out of other daycares who have done well here. It's all a matter of whether my environment suits them or not. This one, I just don't know.
What do you all think of this kid? Have you ever seen a child like this? I can't even verbalize how "adult" and abnormal this mouth is on the child. She doesn't use bad language, just is defiant to the extreme. Also, when she isn't angry or upset, she is a dream to be around. She is adorable and sweet when she isn't thinking about murdering me.
I think you should do what you feel is right and comfortable for you. If you do not want to keep her then don't. I know my limits and sometimes you have to say I can't do this.I have never met a child like this in my life. 4.5 years old. Picture a late teen who just escaped from reform school. Mouthy-not just a little sass, but extreme back talk and defiance about EVERYTHING. Please get off the couch so you don't break the back of it (she was jumping on the back of the couch first day). Rather than getting down, she aggressively says "I WANT to!". I had to lift her off the couch and place her on the floor (in the corner!).
She shrieks, screams and cries every time she hears no or gets asked not to do what she is doing or gets a consequence for her mouth or for her behavior toward the other kids. Her shriek/cry tantrums last about 30 minutes each and she shouts angry things from her time out and throws things at me (I'm way too far away to get hit by them). 3 hours in, every kid here who is verbal said that they don't like her. A 4 yr old girl who I have had for 2.5 years that NEVER gets in trouble (and doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body) punched the new girl in the face twice yesterday. This new girl (who started yesterday) has every child's anxiety level up.
The new girl is never physically aggressive, but she is verbally aggressive in that she has the most defiant mouth I have ever heard from a person of ANY age. I have experience with kids who have ODD, ADHD, trauma related behaviors, genetic based behavior issues-you name it. People send their kids to me because I have a reputation for taking special needs kids and kids who have behavior issues. I have never seen anything like this before, even in my past foster child who has Reactive Attachment Disorder. Her mom confirmed at pick up that she is the same way at home and said to address each instance, and never let her have her way when she acts like this.
Her mother seems to have her act together, and is well aware of the behavior issues and is trying to deal with them. I nearly termed this child by noon yesterday. I'm definitely going to ask the mom to have the child assessed at a local mental health care facility (which may make her pull, but I truly doubt it, since the child was kicked out of a public daycare that NO ONE gets kicked out of).
I like to give kids a month to see if we can change things. I've had "naughty" kids who have been kicked out of other daycares who have done well here. It's all a matter of whether my environment suits them or not. This one, I just don't know.
What do you all think of this kid? Have you ever seen a child like this? I can't even verbalize how "adult" and abnormal this mouth is on the child. She doesn't use bad language, just is defiant to the extreme. Also, when she isn't angry or upset, she is a dream to be around. She is adorable and sweet when she isn't thinking about murdering me.
ChelseaB 03:55 AM 05-17-2018
Oh, and regarding her mouthiness — I would continually enforce proper dialogue. If she’s speaking in any inappropriate manner, I would immediately correct her and make suggestions of other phrases she could use or tell her something isn’t okay to say. She learned it from somewhere, although it’s tough to say from where. That is what stood out to me....
But I’m a huge advocate of “treat others the way you wish to be treated”. I also reiterate the whole “it’s okay to be sad/frustrated/mad etc; but it’s not okay to treat others badly because of it”. Of course, it’s just a start, but that’s how I would initially approach these circumstances. And obviously, if it’s a tantrum, I merely separate the child from the group, ignore her, and wait her out. Rinse and repeat. Kiddos are smart, they have to learn the rules. It’s when I know they understand but are being intentionally defiant that I begin to question if they’re a good fit for my program.
All of that aside — most of my 4’s are beginning to show more self expression and independence. It’s clear to me that they’re not being stimulated enough and are perhaps showing signs of boredom. After all, they are coming of preschool age, and I think when they can’t channel that energy properly, they resort to their own fun...which usually isn’t always good for us
But I’m a huge advocate of “treat others the way you wish to be treated”. I also reiterate the whole “it’s okay to be sad/frustrated/mad etc; but it’s not okay to treat others badly because of it”. Of course, it’s just a start, but that’s how I would initially approach these circumstances. And obviously, if it’s a tantrum, I merely separate the child from the group, ignore her, and wait her out. Rinse and repeat. Kiddos are smart, they have to learn the rules. It’s when I know they understand but are being intentionally defiant that I begin to question if they’re a good fit for my program.
All of that aside — most of my 4’s are beginning to show more self expression and independence. It’s clear to me that they’re not being stimulated enough and are perhaps showing signs of boredom. After all, they are coming of preschool age, and I think when they can’t channel that energy properly, they resort to their own fun...which usually isn’t always good for us