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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>3-Year-Old Saying Bitch
busymomof2 04:23 PM 01-28-2011
I need help with a 3-year-old boy who says bitch. The first time I was in shock and spoke with him regarding it being an ugly work that hurts people. BM tried to say he learned it at dc but I stop her quick and told her that no other child says that and my husband & I don't use words like that. Next time he said it he tried to lie and BM claimed he got it from uncles. They took away his toys for a week but he continues to use the word. I don't know what to do because I am afraid the other kids will pick it up. Help please.
Abigail 04:37 PM 01-28-2011
WOW, that word never got bleeped or * out? LOL, and the person who said ****-ztu had it bleeped out before. (It's a dog breed, come on!) lol.
As far as where he got it from, it doesn't matter. That is not the problem. It is that he is using a word that is NOT allowed nor is it anywhere near appropriate. I would have the mom sign a slip saying he is using foul language everyday that he uses it as proof they are aware of this behavior. At our daycare we put the boy in a chair facing the wall and tell him "NO, that is a naughty word!" and he need to sit 2 minutes, but usually sits while saying the word so he'll end up sitting ten minutes. Others in care ask what he said, but we just tell them it was a naughty word and we don't repeat it. If you say "NO" and explain why loud it also helps the others know that it will not be tolerated. I would probably give him some time to see if it's a phase and if it doesn't stop then terminate. The second/third time (I'm sure you're past that), but the second/third time the mom has to sign the papers I would say you need to schedule a meeting and let her know verbally this is not going to be tolerated, da da da, create a short-term plan of action or else you will no longer be able to provide care. Easily understandable!
As far as where he got it from, it doesn't matter. That is not the problem. It is that he is using a word that is NOT allowed nor is it anywhere near appropriate. I would have the mom sign a slip saying he is using foul language everyday that he uses it as proof they are aware of this behavior. At our daycare we put the boy in a chair facing the wall and tell him "NO, that is a naughty word!" and he need to sit 2 minutes, but usually sits while saying the word so he'll end up sitting ten minutes. Others in care ask what he said, but we just tell them it was a naughty word and we don't repeat it. If you say "NO" and explain why loud it also helps the others know that it will not be tolerated. I would probably give him some time to see if it's a phase and if it doesn't stop then terminate. The second/third time (I'm sure you're past that), but the second/third time the mom has to sign the papers I would say you need to schedule a meeting and let her know verbally this is not going to be tolerated, da da da, create a short-term plan of action or else you will no longer be able to provide care. Easily understandable!
lvt77 07:32 PM 01-28-2011
Children will say And do whatever gets them attention. When he says it do one of two things. Ignore it or you can say I know that you have nice words you can use and then help him think of the nice words. Don't make a big deal out of it. Try saying how about we say silly Billy instead or something to replace the bad word that sounds attractive for them to say.
My kids say oh Nellie or wacky sack. They came up with it after we had a dcg using the f-bomb. It lasted one day and that was the end of it.
In my experience the more you react the more he will reply.
At thAt age any form of attention good or bad is still getting attention and that is what every human being wants.
My kids say oh Nellie or wacky sack. They came up with it after we had a dcg using the f-bomb. It lasted one day and that was the end of it.
In my experience the more you react the more he will reply.
At thAt age any form of attention good or bad is still getting attention and that is what every human being wants.
busymomof2 01:50 PM 02-02-2011
Thank you for your responses. I have already talked to mom over and over again. What I forgot to mention id that he also says booty, poop head and calls beope butt this and that to get laughs from the kids. I am sooooo tired of it. It is catching on to the other kids where they laugh and repeat what he says. I tell them to not pay attention to it but they laugh. I just place on time out which works for alittle while then a short time later it happens again.
nannyde 02:55 PM 02-02-2011
Simple fix:
Use the first sound of the word and attach "night night" to it.
When he says "Bitch" you say "Bih night night? I know you are so tired buddy " and have him go straight to lying down.
Every time he says it your response is that you are hearing him say he is SUPER TIRED and wants to go to bed immediately.
When he says booty you say "Boo night night? I know you are so tired buddy" and put him to bed.
When he says poopy head say "poo night night? I know you are so tired buddy" and put him to bed.
When he says butt you say "buh night night? I know you are so tired buddy" and put him to bed.
Once he realizes that your translation of what he is saying is that he extremely tired and needs to go lie down right away he will learn that it's not to his benefit to say them.
Kids who repeatedly say stuff like this who know full well that the language isn't acceptable are screaming at you that they are exhausted. It's time for him to lie down and REST so he is rested enough to have self control.
Address his being really tired and do something about it. All nasty words are just kids way of saying they need rest, de-esclation and quiet. It's NEVER about the words they use. It's always about their self control and what they need at the very moment it happens.
Speak his language
Don't spend another second explaining that they are bad words or trying to get the parents to not pet him when he says them. Deal with what he is REALLY saying.
So: repeat first sound... attach "night night" and have him rest. Within a few days he will get it.
Use the first sound of the word and attach "night night" to it.
When he says "Bitch" you say "Bih night night? I know you are so tired buddy " and have him go straight to lying down.
Every time he says it your response is that you are hearing him say he is SUPER TIRED and wants to go to bed immediately.
When he says booty you say "Boo night night? I know you are so tired buddy
" and put him to bed.When he says poopy head say "poo night night? I know you are so tired buddy
" and put him to bed. When he says butt you say "buh night night? I know you are so tired buddy
" and put him to bed.Once he realizes that your translation of what he is saying is that he extremely tired and needs to go lie down right away he will learn that it's not to his benefit to say them.
Kids who repeatedly say stuff like this who know full well that the language isn't acceptable are screaming at you that they are exhausted. It's time for him to lie down and REST so he is rested enough to have self control.
Address his being really tired and do something about it. All nasty words are just kids way of saying they need rest, de-esclation and quiet. It's NEVER about the words they use. It's always about their self control and what they need at the very moment it happens.
Speak his language
Don't spend another second explaining that they are bad words or trying to get the parents to not pet him when he says them. Deal with what he is REALLY saying. So: repeat first sound... attach "night night" and have him rest. Within a few days he will get it.
busymomof2 04:03 PM 02-02-2011
Nannyde- I love it and will try it! 
I just need something to work!!
I just need something to work!!