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BentleysBands 03:22 AM 10-22-2010
looking for some advice or am i just over reacting?

in all the years i have never had this problem so any adivce is appreciated.

my screamer (3m dcg) comes at 630a ...w/in 10mins she starts it first question i always ask parents is when baby ate last so i know and how they slept, etc...well this whole week mom and dad have 'overslept' she says and that "A" is starving...so i kindly tell her yesterday that our mornings have been very hectic since i'm not having to console a screaming , hungry THEN tired baby when IMO she should be fed before coming. esp. since they drive almost 25mins to me...so my question is how do you feel about babies arriving hungry? she IS dry and changed clothes so why not just feed?? not sure what to do as my stress level is diminishing each morning from this child helppp
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DancingQueen 03:33 AM 10-22-2010
so baby is 3 months old - they've woken her, changed her diaper and clothes and put her in the car for a 25 minute drive with no food?

That is just bizzare - when was the last time baby would have eaten? I mean, if baby woke up just a couple hours earlier for a feeding I *might* understand that - but even then - not really getting it.
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BentleysBands 03:39 AM 10-22-2010
baby sleeps thru night they say. she normally eats at 5a give or take. but 'they have overslept' i guess baby too idk....yeah i woudl understand if she ate at 2-3a and was hungry..
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Jewels 04:02 AM 10-22-2010
I think I would just have a bottle ready for her when she arrived, take her and start feeding her, I think there were times when my son was a baby and in daycare that I brought him needing a bottle, granted my daycare was 2 houses away, but not everyday, If I had the time to feed him I did, But I liked to let him sleep as long as he could, and he was never screaming. she might have a job where she could get in trouble for being late, and she just gets to rushed and stressed in the morning, and if the baby isnt screaming until after she arrives at your house, the mom probably assumes shes okay, and the baby probably sleeps on the 25 minute ride, I have a mom whos boss is not understanding of her being even a little late, so she used to bring her little one, needing a bottle, so I always had one sitting on the counter nice and warm, and I would take her right away and feed her, and I liked that, because then she was good, through me getting everyone else breakfast. I guess for me, if her baby isnt screaming right when she wakes up, and screaming the whole way to your house, I dont see the big deal, its still so early.
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mac60 04:29 AM 10-22-2010
Some parents just don't get it. I ended up putting in my handbook that "babies need to be fed their first bottle of the day before arrival", because I had a 10 mo old, and morning after morning he would come in screaming, and mom would say.....when I pick him up he stops crying, when I put him down he starts again......the baby was hungry. Mornings at drop off are extremely busy here. There is absolutely no reason why mom can't get up 15 min earlier and give the infant a bottle. I never as a mom would of thought about taking my baby out of the house before feeding them. You will pry have to speak up. There is simply no reason for not feeding that infant before taking them out of the house except for pure laziness on parents part.
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Jewels 05:34 AM 10-22-2010
I', Im sorry you are such harsh judges of parents my god, This is not neglect, there is no abuse going on, was I neglecting my son, by walking him down 2 houses before giving him his morning bottle, when he JUST woke up? Is it that hectic at 6:30am? I'm sorry but I would rather my baby sleep more in the morning, than waking him up to make sure he gets a bottle before I take him to daycare, so I dont have to put the provider out, and make them give the baby a bottle, lets always make sure its the easiest on the provider, I"m sure most moms would much rather have an extra hour in the morning, to stay home and feed and rock their baby, but they have to work to make sure their babies have diapers and food and a place to sleep, not to mention pay us, so we can feed our kids and have a place to live. So many of you say you have no desire to wake up earlier, you love your sleep, these moms with babies most are still waking up through the night, and it is hard to drag yourself out of bed, baby is sleeping thank god, so you can get yourself ready, lets hit snooze a few times because who doesnt, take a shower get makeup on, iron clothes if you have to, they leave their house, so they have to be more presentable, can't be late, and this mom even says usually the baby gets a bottle at 5am. Get the crown off the heads already, your not all that perfect.
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BentleysBands 05:38 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
I', Im sorry you are such harsh judges of parents my god, This is not neglect, there is no abuse going on, was I neglecting my son, by walking him down 2 houses before giving him his morning bottle, when he JUST woke up? Is it that hectic at 6:30am? I'm sorry but I would rather my baby sleep more in the morning, than waking him up to make sure he gets a bottle before I take him to daycare, so I dont have to put the provider out, and make them give the baby a bottle, lets always make sure its the easiest on the provider, I"m sure most moms would much rather have an extra hour in the morning, to stay home and feed and rock their baby, but they have to work to make sure their babies have diapers and food and a place to sleep, not to mention pay us, so we can feed our kids and have a place to live. So many of you say you have no desire to wake up earlier, you love your sleep, these moms with babies most are still waking up through the night, and it is hard to drag yourself out of bed, baby is sleeping thank god, so you can get yourself ready, lets hit snooze a few times because who doesnt, take a shower get makeup on, iron clothes if you have to, they leave their house, so they have to be more presentable, can't be late, and this mom even says usually the baby gets a bottle at 5am. Get the crown off the heads already, your not all that perfect.
WOW...this was not called for. I just asked for advice not a mean response. we are all entitled to our opinions...or so i thought...If you do not have anything nice, keep your mouth closed is my motto
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Jewels 05:41 AM 10-22-2010
I wasnt really meaning that towards you bentleybands
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MN Mom 05:45 AM 10-22-2010
I don't have a problem feeding babies in the AM. I do not like feeding the SA kids who never want the cereal I have on hand. My kids eat pretty healthy cereals most of the time; Raisin Bran Crunch, Cheerios, Kashi U, Kashi Strawberry Fields and another Kashi one with blueberries. My SA day care kids do not like cereal unless it's teeming with sugar, and do nothing but complain about what I have in stock. Those are the days I just give them toast, jelly and juice and tell them they have to wait for snack/lunch if they don't like what I have.
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missnikki 06:13 AM 10-22-2010
Since we are all differring in our opinion on this, it's obvious that same goes for parents. Some may think it's OK, some would never do that. SO, what you would need to do is: if it bothers you, have a talk with mom and ask for what you want to have happen. Keep the communication open and honest, and she will probably appreciate it. If it doesn't bother you, you could try to feed the baby once she gets there, as a pp said. Some topics aren't too sensitive in nature to discuss freely, this is one I think.
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BentleysBands 06:25 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by missnikki:
Since we are all differring in our opinion on this, it's obvious that same goes for parents. Some may think it's OK, some would never do that. SO, what you would need to do is: if it bothers you, have a talk with mom and ask for what you want to have happen. Keep the communication open and honest, and she will probably appreciate it. If it doesn't bother you, you could try to feed the baby once she gets there, as a pp said. Some topics aren't too sensitive in nature to discuss freely, this is one I think.
I will talk with her tonight and see if we can figure it out thanks!
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Blackcat31 06:41 AM 10-22-2010
I have this issue sometimes too, depending on how crazy our mornings get. The baby I have though comes with a big sister so I sometimes have her hold the baby's bottle until I am free to do so. Some of my other SA girls LOVE helping out so I always have an extra hand. Mom of baby is very laid back and says things like "Looks like I will have lots of babysitters to choose from when I need one!" The baby seems to love all eyes on him as well so it is a win-win situation for all. I don't know if that solution is possible with your infant being so young, I'd be too nervous to allow the other kids to feed. I feel for you though, it is tough to be overwhelmed IMMEDIATELY in the a.m. makes the day seem longer.
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katie 06:50 AM 10-22-2010
My dcb is 5 months. His mom lives 2 streets over. She brings him at 8:45 so it's not like the crack of dawn. He is never fed. He starts screaming the second she leaves. He hasn't eaten since the night before. She had the nerve to tell me, "Could you make sure he is fed before he leaves." really?
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mac60 06:55 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
I wasnt really meaning that towards you bentleybands
Pry was meant for me, which is par for the course here.

I will say, that my own two kids went to daycare for 8 years. I was up at 4:30 each and every morning to get myself ready for work, got my children up at 5:30 to hold and feed them before we left the house to drop them off at daycare at 6:30. I never would of thought about leaving my home and taking them out of the house without changing them and feeding them. It never happened. It was my responsibility as a parent, not the responsibility of the daycare.
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Live and Learn 07:28 AM 10-22-2010
Parents need to feed their own kiddos breakfast everyday. No matter what. I understand that parents need to get to work on time...hey all of us moms are super busy...that is no excuse. parents should set their alarms for a half hour earlier wake their child up and feed them. A hungry baby is way worse off than a baby who got a half hour less sleep.
I would make it clear with the parents that baby has first bottle before arrival at your house.
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melissa ann 09:12 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
Parents need to feed their own kiddos breakfast everyday. No matter what. I understand that parents need to get to work on time...hey all of us moms are super busy...that is no excuse. parents should set their alarms for a half hour earlier wake their child up and feed them. A hungry baby is way worse off than a baby who got a half hour less sleep.
I would make it clear with the parents that baby has first bottle before arrival at your house.
I agree 100%. My kids have never been in daycare. But before we left to go anywhere, even to relatives, I made sure they were fed, changed, etc. Do people not get it that things change when they have kids? No more sleeping in, etc? I had dcks who came in the morning with their diapers still on, hanging to their knees. I got sick of it. I handed out letters saying that I will no longer tolerate diapers that have been on all night. Had one dcb when he was 3 1/2-4 yrs old come in with a diaper that was on all night, g-pa would put underwear overtop and not take off the diaper in the morning.
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momma2girls 10:04 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by mac60:
Pry was meant for me, which is par for the course here.

I will say, that my own two kids went to daycare for 8 years. I was up at 4:30 each and every morning to get myself ready for work, got my children up at 5:30 to hold and feed them before we left the house to drop them off at daycare at 6:30. I never would of thought about leaving my home and taking them out of the house without changing them and feeding them. It never happened. It was my responsibility as a parent, not the responsibility of the daycare.
I agree!! I am so busy in the am. I am getting my own baby fed, changed, etc. then I have 4 parents arriving- 2 babies, sometimes both babies are not fed. Then I have 3(one being my own) school aged kids, ready for the bus, make sure they have all their stuff on, and stuff in their backpacks, etc. I do not have time to feed both babies that are screaming their heads off starved. I only have 30 min. by the time I open and 4 families showing up, greeting them, making sure their children are set, then fedding my own 2 yr. old, changing her, and making sure everyone is set to go out the door. I had brought my children to daycare for 15 yrs. before I quit my job. I would have never brought any of them (when they were babies especially) not fed, changed, etc. I need to add something in my contract for next yr. to make sure your babies are fed, changed, and dressed before coming to daycare. I just don't really know how to word it. Do any of you's have it in your contract? If so how is it workded? THanks!
There have been a few times when both babies came in just screaming wanting fed- I am only one person to do everything!!! I didn't get to the first bottle til 8:15. Then it takes 20 min-12 hr. til I can feed the next one.
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BentleysBands 10:14 AM 10-22-2010
so glad to see others feel the same way...its so hard when paretns think WE r their kids parent. if i wanted more than 4 kids i would have had them myself LOL

ok, so mom picked up early today...was a hard conversation but i just explained that i have other families dropping off and getting my own kids up and ready that i just cant get to the baby and sit for 30mins right when she arrives. she completely understood and then laughed it off that she feels the same way in the mornings i was stunned she said it.

hopefully next week will be better
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marniewon 10:19 AM 10-22-2010
I have, in my section under Arrivals and Departures, one simple sentence: Children must arrive clean and fed and ready for the day (unless arriving at mealtime). That's all I have, because honestly, it never occurred to me that any parent would bring their child unfed unless they knew it was right at my mealtime. I've never had a parent not feed their infant before bringing to me. My kids start showing up at 7:45am - most infants are up way before then! Plenty of time to feed your child - especially if it's an infant and it's just a bottle!
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 10:26 AM 10-22-2010
I dont serve breakfasts,... so they either feed them or the children wait for snack at 845-9 ish.
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momma2girls 10:36 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com:
I dont serve breakfasts,... so they either feed them or the children wait for snack at 845-9 ish.
I don't either- I have a snack between9-9:30 for everyone. So technically I already have it in my contract already.
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broncomom1973 12:21 PM 10-22-2010
One of the nurses who I worked with before I quit my job to start a daycare had a baby a little over a year ago. She started bringing him at 3 mos and she would bring him hungry. It was so awful listening to him scream while I was trying to get my dd ready for preschool. I finally told her that on MWF (the days dd had preschool), she needed to bring him fed because it wasnt fair for everyone to listen to him screaming or for me to literally have heart palpitations from it. I will say that from then on she did try to some extent to give him at least a couple of ounces to hold him off. I eventually terminated him because he cried, no screamed, much of the day when I was too busy trying to take care of the other 5 toddlers feeding meals or changing their diapers. I didnt have 10 hours to tend to him soley. I absolutely see nothing wrong with asking parents to feed their own children before arrival. Dh took our kids to daycare when I was working and only my 2nd went to daycare as an infant but he never took her hungry.
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Unregistered 01:33 PM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
...these moms with babies most are still waking up through the night, and it is hard to drag yourself out of bed ...
You bring up a good point. I hadn't thought about it this way when I read the first post. I remember when my oldest was an infant and I had to get him to day care. It was hard to get myself up in the morning to get ready for work. I was absolutely exhausted every morning because I was up with him all night. (He was born with club feet and wore casts that I'm sure made him feel uncomfortable and unable to sleep well.)

That said, I can understand the frustration of the OP. When you have a houseful of kids and you're trying to settle everyone in, a screaming, hungry baby does make for a stressful morning. It's made even more difficult if you have to cook breakfast for kids who have had to wait for the baby to be fed and are now cranky and hungry, too. As exhausted as a new mom is, it really is her responsibility to feed her child in the morning before arriving at day care. I would try to accommodate the mom if I could and I can understand oversleeping and rushing to drop the baby off on rare occasions but when it happens every day for a week and it's causing problems for the child care provider, I think it's a good idea to speak with the parents so they can hopefully understand the stress their behavior is causing. Hopefully in this case, the parents will be able to make some adjustments to their own schedule (going to bed a little earlier, maybe?) so that everyone's mornings are less hectic.
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Unregistered 03:52 PM 10-25-2010
I tell my parents that their children need to be fed before they arrive period! I have two children of my own, that need to be fed and dressed before they go to school. Do you think that the school would be ok with me dropping my children off and saying ooops we woke up late/ or I wanted to let them sleep, and didn't have time to eat.

come on really???? my children both sleep walk, and most nights I am getting up with them as well. but that DOES NOT mean that I don't account for the time in the am to make sure they are fed. My children, my responsibility.

I understand that there will be alot of opinions that are not the same on these boards. And mine is not sugar coated, its a simple statement of how it goes here,

If I were to feed the baby I watch in the am, while trying to take care of my own, we would be late all the time. I have a 9 month old dcg and When she is feed it takes a good 20 minutes or more of my holding her close while she eats her bottle. Doesn't leave much ability to do more than that.

If I grow more arms, I may consider feeding in the am.. :-)
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