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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Sometimes Wish you Could Just be a SAHM?
Soccermom 04:23 AM 03-21-2012
Hi, I was so excited to find this forum! I think it is so great for all of us childcare providers to be able to chat comfortably about issues that we all face 
I just wanted to know if I was alone in sometimes wishing I could just be a SAHM and not have to rely on the money from my inhome daycare to be able to be at home with my 3 kids.
I feel like I miss out on a lot. I can't volunteer at their school during field trips or be a class helper in the classroom like I would love to be able to do.
I find myself disciplining my own kids for things I wouldn't need to discipline for if I didn't have a house full of little ones.
Also my first dcks arrive @ 7am so by 5pm I am completely out of steam and find my patience for my own kids is very thin in the evenings when I should be making the best out of the time I have alone with them.
When my older dds arrive off the bus I can't sit with them one on one and find out how their day was because of the chaos all around us. Then in the evenings it is hurry to make dinner and head off to whatever activity one of my kids has that evening.
I know I am blessed because there are ppl who trust me with the care of their little ones and I dearly love the dcks that I have but it is exhausting and hard to be home with my kids without really just being home with my kids.
Just wanted to know if this is something that most inhome care providers struggle with as well.
I just wanted to know if I was alone in sometimes wishing I could just be a SAHM and not have to rely on the money from my inhome daycare to be able to be at home with my 3 kids.
I feel like I miss out on a lot. I can't volunteer at their school during field trips or be a class helper in the classroom like I would love to be able to do.
I find myself disciplining my own kids for things I wouldn't need to discipline for if I didn't have a house full of little ones.
Also my first dcks arrive @ 7am so by 5pm I am completely out of steam and find my patience for my own kids is very thin in the evenings when I should be making the best out of the time I have alone with them.
When my older dds arrive off the bus I can't sit with them one on one and find out how their day was because of the chaos all around us. Then in the evenings it is hurry to make dinner and head off to whatever activity one of my kids has that evening.
I know I am blessed because there are ppl who trust me with the care of their little ones and I dearly love the dcks that I have but it is exhausting and hard to be home with my kids without really just being home with my kids.
Just wanted to know if this is something that most inhome care providers struggle with as well.
Michael 05:58 AM 03-21-2012
Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I upgraded your status. You can post freely now.
bunnyslippers 06:39 AM 03-21-2012
I wish it every single day!
Lilbutterflie 06:50 AM 03-21-2012
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
Hi, I was so excited to find this forum! I think it is so great for all of us childcare providers to be able to chat comfortably about issues that we all face
I just wanted to know if I was alone in sometimes wishing I could just be a SAHM and not have to rely on the money from my inhome daycare to be able to be at home with my 3 kids.
I feel like I miss out on a lot. I can't volunteer at their school during field trips or be a class helper in the classroom like I would love to be able to do.
I find myself disciplining my own kids for things I wouldn't need to discipline for if I didn't have a house full of little ones.
Also my first dcks arrive @ 7am so by 5pm I am completely out of steam and find my patience for my own kids is very thin in the evenings when I should be making the best out of the time I have alone with them.
When my older dds arrive off the bus I can't sit with them one on one and find out how their day was because of the chaos all around us. Then in the evenings it is hurry to make dinner and head off to whatever activity one of my kids has that evening.
I know I am blessed because there are ppl who trust me with the care of their little ones and I dearly love the dcks that I have but it is exhausting and hard to be home with my kids without really just being home with my kids.
Just wanted to know if this is something that most inhome care providers struggle with as well.
WELCOME! I have the same complaints and worries that you do. It's almost as if I wrote your post! I wish I could just stay at home every single day. The reality of it is that I can't, I need extra income for our family. Just try to stay positive! I believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking, it is what gets me through my days as of late. Hi, I was so excited to find this forum! I think it is so great for all of us childcare providers to be able to chat comfortably about issues that we all face
I just wanted to know if I was alone in sometimes wishing I could just be a SAHM and not have to rely on the money from my inhome daycare to be able to be at home with my 3 kids.
I feel like I miss out on a lot. I can't volunteer at their school during field trips or be a class helper in the classroom like I would love to be able to do.
I find myself disciplining my own kids for things I wouldn't need to discipline for if I didn't have a house full of little ones.
Also my first dcks arrive @ 7am so by 5pm I am completely out of steam and find my patience for my own kids is very thin in the evenings when I should be making the best out of the time I have alone with them.
When my older dds arrive off the bus I can't sit with them one on one and find out how their day was because of the chaos all around us. Then in the evenings it is hurry to make dinner and head off to whatever activity one of my kids has that evening.
I know I am blessed because there are ppl who trust me with the care of their little ones and I dearly love the dcks that I have but it is exhausting and hard to be home with my kids without really just being home with my kids.
Just wanted to know if this is something that most inhome care providers struggle with as well.
Zoe 06:53 AM 03-21-2012
Yes I do. I LOVE my job, but if given the choice, I would be a SAHM in a heartbeat! I hate that I have to carefully choose my 5 personal days so that I can evenly be there for my kids' special school functions, and it's never enough. I hate how tired I am after hours and I get so frustrated with my kids, who don't deserve that. Just a vent, I love what I do, but I do agree with you that being a SAHM would be heaven.
SimpleMom 06:55 AM 03-21-2012
Yes, I wish the same! It's very tough. I do love all the kiddos I watch and have a lot of fun with them.
lil angels 07:24 AM 03-21-2012
I always say I think I would get board if I were only a SAHM. But I sure would love it during the summer so I could just run with my kids the activitys that I would love to do with the if I could. But I would really like to be able to drop my kids and pick them up from school and go on field trips and things like that.
WImom 07:25 AM 03-21-2012
YES! but my kids are both in school so I'd probably be bored after a while. I wish I could just do this part time. At some point I hope to.
Ariana 07:34 AM 03-21-2012
Not really! I do childcare part-time so it's perfect for me. I also only work 7 hours per day so again it's perfect. I keep my groups small and only take in 2-3 kids with my DD. When I did my year mat leave I was quite bored by the end. There are only so many 'mommy and me' groups I could handle!!
I like that my DD gets social time regularly and I get to spend time with her on my days off. I realize not everyone can afford to do this part-time but I made sure when I started out that we could survive on just DH's income.
I like that my DD gets social time regularly and I get to spend time with her on my days off. I realize not everyone can afford to do this part-time but I made sure when I started out that we could survive on just DH's income.
Soccermom 07:59 AM 03-21-2012
Thanks for all the replies. It feels good to know that others are in the same boat with you
I think the hardest thing for me is when the dcks are mean to my own kids. It breaks my heart. Especially since my kids are so willing to share their home, things and mom with them.
I think the hardest thing for me is when the dcks are mean to my own kids. It breaks my heart. Especially since my kids are so willing to share their home, things and mom with them.
safechner 08:13 AM 03-21-2012
Of course, I do wish for it. My husband wants me to stay at home mom when my child was born so I quit my job two weeks before my child was born. I really enjoyed to spend more time with my child and I also went to moms groups twice a week to keep my child to have a playmate with others. We love it a lot. I started to watch an infant when my daughter was 10 months. My husband wasn't really want me to watch any kids but he allowed me to watch one child so our daughter can play with him. I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter on my daughter's first birthday. Again, I stay at home mom after my second daughter was born. I started doing daycare when my daughters was 4 and 3 years old. They loved to play with kids and my husband was fine with it. Now my daughters are 11 and 9 years old and they don't like it at all. My husband don't like it anymore because he wants our house back. I totally understand how my husband feels. I am working on to get my daycare close by this summer. I was supposed to close my daycare last summer but I can't for some reasons.
I will be staying at home mom again for my kids for three months this summer so we can have spend more time together and doing something fun everyday. My husband is very happy to hear that but I am going to find a part time job this fall when my daughters will be in school.
I will be staying at home mom again for my kids for three months this summer so we can have spend more time together and doing something fun everyday. My husband is very happy to hear that but I am going to find a part time job this fall when my daughters will be in school.
sahm2three 08:17 AM 03-21-2012
ALL.DAY.EVERY.DAY. I was for 10 years. I felt like I needed to do something because my youngest was going to be starting preschool. I wish I would have waited. I miss it every single day.
cheerfuldom 08:35 AM 03-21-2012
I understand what you are saying. But I also dont allow the daycare kids into my kids rooms and the daycare toys, etc. are not shared with my kids regular stuff. They have their own space and they dont have to share with the daycare kids if they dont want to. You might also consider shortening your hours and hiring an assistant to gain some more freedom back. There are ways to make things better but as always, there is a sacrifice to it. welcome to the board!
SunshineMama 08:45 AM 03-21-2012
Everyday I wish that I was only a SAHM.
Daycare is the next best thng I guess. At least I am the one influencing and shaping my children's future. I would probably be the worst daycare parent ever because I am very picky about what my kids eat, them getting enough exercise and sleep, enough mental stimulation...etc.
Daycare is the next best thng I guess. At least I am the one influencing and shaping my children's future. I would probably be the worst daycare parent ever because I am very picky about what my kids eat, them getting enough exercise and sleep, enough mental stimulation...etc.
Soccermom 09:02 AM 03-21-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Everyday I wish that I was only a SAHM.
Daycare is the next best thng I guess. At least I am the one influencing and shaping my children's future. I would probably be the worst daycare parent ever because I am very picky about what my kids eat, them getting enough exercise and sleep, enough mental stimulation...etc.
I agree! I would be the same lol!Everyday I wish that I was only a SAHM.
Daycare is the next best thng I guess. At least I am the one influencing and shaping my children's future. I would probably be the worst daycare parent ever because I am very picky about what my kids eat, them getting enough exercise and sleep, enough mental stimulation...etc.
Ariana 10:11 AM 03-21-2012
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
I think the hardest thing for me is when the dcks are mean to my own kids. It breaks my heart. Especially since my kids are so willing to share their home, things and mom with them.
I guess I see this as "socialization" for my DD under my watchful eye! Everything gets handled and dealt with in a way that I like because I'm the one dealing with it. I also am able to work on getting my DD to be assertive which is wonderful. My child now has the ability to stand up for herself when others are bothering her and I know she wouldn't have gotten this if I was simply a SAHM.I think the hardest thing for me is when the dcks are mean to my own kids. It breaks my heart. Especially since my kids are so willing to share their home, things and mom with them.
You're children are learning a very valuable life skill IMO
Soccermom 10:44 AM 03-21-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I guess I see this as "socialization" for my DD under my watchful eye! Everything gets handled and dealt with in a way that I like because I'm the one dealing with it. I also am able to work on getting my DD to be assertive which is wonderful. My child now has the ability to stand up for herself when others are bothering her and I know she wouldn't have gotten this if I was simply a SAHM.
You're children are learning a very valuable life skill IMO
I guess I see this as "socialization" for my DD under my watchful eye! Everything gets handled and dealt with in a way that I like because I'm the one dealing with it. I also am able to work on getting my DD to be assertive which is wonderful. My child now has the ability to stand up for herself when others are bothering her and I know she wouldn't have gotten this if I was simply a SAHM.
You're children are learning a very valuable life skill IMO
You are very right Ariana. It is a good way to look at things.
mema 03:36 PM 03-21-2012
YES!!! If I could convince the hubby to sell and downsize the house (even tho I absolutely LOVE it and it's what we waited 12 years for) and change one of the vehicles out for an older one I would. Of course, he would also have to give up going out to lunch a couple times a week and beer
I would love to be able to go on all fieldtrips and help daily in the classrooms. I know he won't sacrifice right now tho unless one of us looses our job, so I can dream.
I would love to be able to go on all fieldtrips and help daily in the classrooms. I know he won't sacrifice right now tho unless one of us looses our job, so I can dream.
Crazy8 05:10 PM 03-21-2012
I don't think I'd want to be a SAHM but I do wish for some of the freedom you mention!!!! Ideally, I'd love to run a part time program but I really can't afford to. I even thought of getting a part time job outside the home once mine are in school full days but I make more with 2 full timers than I ever could with a p/t job.
dave4him 05:26 PM 03-21-2012
Hmmmmm My wife would probably say yes, though after a saturday with just her and the kids it usually changes to no.
My wife would probably say yes, though after a saturday with just her and the kids it usually changes to no.
E Daycare 06:26 AM 03-22-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Not really! I do childcare part-time so it's perfect for me. I also only work 7 hours per day so again it's perfect. I keep my groups small and only take in 2-3 kids with my DD. When I did my year mat leave I was quite bored by the end. There are only so many 'mommy and me' groups I could handle!!
I like that my DD gets social time regularly and I get to spend time with her on my days off. I realize not everyone can afford to do this part-time but I made sure when I started out that we could survive on just DH's income.
This is me. I only take part time kiddos, 3 days a week max and I have 4 dck and my ds. So at any given point I have maybe 2 or 3 kids during the day or some days just ds. I also mainly take teachers kids. They have off during the summer but I offer up any time they need for the week as a break and to socialize my son. Right now one of the dck is full time for the next few weeks as his gma (who watches him on the alternate days I don't) had surgery and needs recovery time. He comes in at 9 and will leave about 4. He's an easy one and I can plan trips with him and ds no problem. Not really! I do childcare part-time so it's perfect for me. I also only work 7 hours per day so again it's perfect. I keep my groups small and only take in 2-3 kids with my DD. When I did my year mat leave I was quite bored by the end. There are only so many 'mommy and me' groups I could handle!!
I like that my DD gets social time regularly and I get to spend time with her on my days off. I realize not everyone can afford to do this part-time but I made sure when I started out that we could survive on just DH's income.
I only advertise part time but say I have 2kids whom are mon, wed and fri I'd take 2 or 3 that would be tues and thrus. So I might have 5 days of care but 2 kids and I don't really mind. I haven't found anyone needing just those two days so they are usually open. I do make about $350 a week for about 3days of care for 4 kids (one is a sibling group with discount care) so I'm happy with that. BUT if dh didn't have his 6 figure job I couldn't do this just part time.
I'd love to just stay at home sure but I find when I do im sometimes less motivated. These kids keep me on my toes.
countrymom 08:16 AM 03-22-2012
I would love to "not watching kids" I already stay home. But there are days that I would like to drive the kids to school but then they would want me to drive them all the time. or clean my house without disruption, but I think I would be bored after a while because all 4 of my kids are in school and dh is at work so I would have no one to talk too.
Country Kids 08:58 AM 03-22-2012
I would love to be SAHM! I know it would fullfill a dream I have always dreamed since I was a little girl. I was always the little girl that wanted to be wife and mommy.
I would love to be able to clean my house everyday for my family (not childcare) and be able to have more than 1/2 an hour to do it.
There are so, so many things I would be able to do that I can't with this job. I would join Bible study groups, host get togethers for my kids, go to lunch with my hubby, volunter at my childrens schools. I would check on the elderly from my church, send out more cards, make more phone calls. I would actually exercise with walking, bike rides. For my hubbies work, I would bring in goodies for everyone. There would be tons of room in my house and garage because I wouldn't have all the daycare things. I might actually have time to try that new fad of couponing-
I would feel blessed to be a SAHM and make sure I enjoyed every minute of it. I would set goals everyday though so that it would not become a bore or I would not be motivated to get out of the house. I would love it so much that I wouldn't take it for granted.
I would love to be able to clean my house everyday for my family (not childcare) and be able to have more than 1/2 an hour to do it.
There are so, so many things I would be able to do that I can't with this job. I would join Bible study groups, host get togethers for my kids, go to lunch with my hubby, volunter at my childrens schools. I would check on the elderly from my church, send out more cards, make more phone calls. I would actually exercise with walking, bike rides. For my hubbies work, I would bring in goodies for everyone. There would be tons of room in my house and garage because I wouldn't have all the daycare things. I might actually have time to try that new fad of couponing-
I would feel blessed to be a SAHM and make sure I enjoyed every minute of it. I would set goals everyday though so that it would not become a bore or I would not be motivated to get out of the house. I would love it so much that I wouldn't take it for granted.
AmyLeigh 01:30 PM 03-22-2012
Since I have chosen to homeschool, then yes, I would love not having to watch over 4 more kiddos to focus on more varied educational activities. If my children were in school, I would probably work part time and/or do a lot more volunteer work. The gym would probably see me more often, too.
DanceMom 01:32 PM 03-22-2012
I wish it all the time - and thankfully in a couple years that is all I will be.
momma2girls 07:11 PM 03-22-2012
I do as well!! I love my job, but I am constantly being lied to by one family- this is something that will end next yr. for sure!!!! I can't stand it when parents bring their children to daycare when they are sick, getting my children sick, myself, other daycare children etc... I hate not having my own private house back, toys getting broken, paint constantly getting chipped, not being able to volunteer at my daughter's schools, not being able to eat with them, not being able to pick them up from school when sick, and the list goes on and on and on.............but for now, I need to, but hopefully when my daughter is in Kindergarten, I will be able to totally quit! That is my goal anyways!!