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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Happy.....
Meeko 07:36 AM 10-31-2012
Every year for many, many years, we have celebrated Halloween in the same way. The kids decorate treat bags. They each bring treats and we have some fun activities and they then sit in a circle and take turns going from bag to bag and dropping in the treats they brought. They love it. They both receive and give.
Until recently......
Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.
I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids"
What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.
So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?
I don't want any child to feel left out though.
My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
Until recently......
Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.
I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids"
What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?
I don't want any child to feel left out though.
My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
lovemykidstoo 07:41 AM 10-31-2012
You're right, if you don't do it then the child suffers for the parents ignorance. I would probably just buy extra candy and maybe next year be more bold about it and send home a sheet saying that each child should bring something. Some people you really have to flat out tell them. Too bad for the kids though.
Meyou 07:44 AM 10-31-2012
I'd hand them a bill for their child's share of the candy I had to purchase and let them know that next time there was going to double if they forget. With a big smile of course.
lovemykidstoo 07:48 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I'd hand them a bill for their child's share of the candy I had to purchase and let them know that next time there was going to double if they forget. With a big smile of course.
Love that. Especially the big smile part I'd hand them a bill for their child's share of the candy I had to purchase and let them know that next time there was going to double if they forget. With a big smile of course.
crazydaycarelady 07:51 AM 10-31-2012
As a parent I cannot imagine missing the opportunity to let my child share treats and experience the joy of giving. I know parents are busy but you can get treats ANYWHERE.
As a provider I guess I would share my treats with the non-givers and let the ones who brought treat share theirs. I would NOT run out and buy more treats. That would not even be an option for me since I am alone.
As a provider I guess I would share my treats with the non-givers and let the ones who brought treat share theirs. I would NOT run out and buy more treats. That would not even be an option for me since I am alone.
countrymom 07:53 AM 10-31-2012
I know it sounds mean and we don't want to punish the kids, but I wouldn't go out and buy more. Today no one brought treats, but I had a girl tell me that her mom said that i was going to give them out. Hmm really! I'm finding that alot of parents are being lazy, and it not about money. I started to notice this with my school age kids. Every year i would send in treats and they would only get a handful and it was always from the same kids. So I stopped sending treats (even thou my kids love handing out things out)
I have a dcm who makes alot of money and never sends anything, but she sure can complain about the treats her kid gets at school.
I have a dcm who makes alot of money and never sends anything, but she sure can complain about the treats her kid gets at school.
Solandia 07:54 AM 10-31-2012
I would ditch the circle trick or treat do to lack of participation... and just have the kids decorate rice krispie treats with sprinkles. Super easy, super quick, and super cheap, easy cleanup. Perfect. The kids won't feel slighted, but the parents get the message.
Meeko 07:54 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Every year for many, many years, we have celebrated Halloween in the same way. The kids decorate treat bags. They each bring treats and we have some fun activities and they then sit in a circle and take turns going from bag to bag and dropping in the treats they brought. They love it. They both receive and give.
Until recently......
Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.
I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids" What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.
So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?
I don't want any child to feel left out though.
My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
My faith in people is at least partially restored! My "wonderful" DCM who is always bringing me gifts, bringing over lunch for us, always thoughtful etc.....showed up with two HUGE bags of candy a few minutes ago. "Just in case any of the other parents forgot" What a sweetheart! There will be plenty for all the kids. Every year for many, many years, we have celebrated Halloween in the same way. The kids decorate treat bags. They each bring treats and we have some fun activities and they then sit in a circle and take turns going from bag to bag and dropping in the treats they brought. They love it. They both receive and give.
Until recently......
Last year, despite me putting up notices where the parents couldn't possibly miss them, reminding them verbally etc etc....about 4 out of 16 parents brought treats to share. I ended up having my husband run to the store to get candy so there would be enough for each child to fill their bag.
I was hopeful, but it looks like this year is going to be the same. Several kids have arrived this morning with nothing to share. One child remembered when he saw the sign and started to have a meltdown because he didn't bring treats. His dad just hugged him and said "Don't worry...you'll still get some from the other kids"
What if they all took that approach? Sadly....several have.So here's my dilemma. Do I buy more candy? My husband says if I do, the parents will figure that out and never bother to bring things because they figure I'll take up the slack. Why buy treats if their child is going to get a bag full anyway?
I don't want any child to feel left out though.
My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
But I am going to be more forceful next year. Or maybe plan something else.
JenNJ 07:58 AM 10-31-2012
I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!"
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!
"
Willow 08:03 AM 10-31-2012
Maybe word the announcement a little differently next year if you still want to continue doing it?
"Hey parents!
Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!
Thanks!
provider"
Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers lol
"Hey parents!
Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!
Thanks!
provider"
Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers lol
lovemykidstoo 08:03 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!"
First of all, I think it is sooo nice that the one dcm brought a couple of bags of candy. That is so nice. I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!
"I agree with this post. This is a great way to handle it!!
lovemykidstoo 08:09 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Maybe word the announcement a little differently next year if you still want to continue doing it?
"Hey parents!
Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!
Thanks!
provider"
Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers lol
This is a good response too!Maybe word the announcement a little differently next year if you still want to continue doing it?
"Hey parents!
Just dropping a line letting you know about our annual Halloween candy swap! We will be making fun treat bags to fill on Halloween for those who would like to participate. If you'd like your children to be a part of this activity (saves on going those few extra blocks while trick or treating with little ones!) please drop off a bag of treats to share by 10/28. This has been a huge hit in years past, I know the kids are so excited to get started on their bags!
Thanks!
provider"
Collecting candy beforehand and being clear that participation isn't a given unless you chip in may help deter your slackers lol
littlemissmuffet 08:10 AM 10-31-2012
I really love the idea of the kids making treat bags and each family bringing treats and sharing for the bags... but unfortunately, I have zero faith in parents - and why should I? Look what happened to you!
Sorry plans fell through. I would most deifnitely NOT provide the remaining candy. I would also simply cancel the whole treat bag idea for this year and do something else simple and free in lieu of.
This is just another reason why I am not doing parties or special events anymore... nobody cares!
Sorry plans fell through. I would most deifnitely NOT provide the remaining candy. I would also simply cancel the whole treat bag idea for this year and do something else simple and free in lieu of.
This is just another reason why I am not doing parties or special events anymore... nobody cares!
itlw8 08:18 AM 10-31-2012
I would not go get anything If you have something they can pass great. stickers, a paper pumpkin
or make the bags and you put the stuff in and send them home. I would post for the parents. We had to forgo the passing of the candy in the circle. Unfortunately there was little participation. I will evaluate if we continue this activity next year.
or make the bags and you put the stuff in and send them home. I would post for the parents. We had to forgo the passing of the candy in the circle. Unfortunately there was little participation. I will evaluate if we continue this activity next year.
DBug 08:26 AM 10-31-2012
In the past I've had the kids who didn't bring anything make construction paper cards (super simple cutouts), and help them sign it "Happy Halloween, from ---". They also make one for themselves 
. That way parents could see the goodies their child got from everyone else, right along with what their child had to give with his/her name on it.
No ambiguity as to who forgot
.
. That way parents could see the goodies their child got from everyone else, right along with what their child had to give with his/her name on it. No ambiguity as to who forgot
.
Soccermom 09:01 AM 10-31-2012
It makes me sad...parents just seem way too busy nowadays to think about these little things. But they are important to their child.
Whenever I ask parents to bring things in, I get the same problem.
I don't think it is fair to punish the kids for their parents negligence though. I would make sure they all get the same amount of candy.
However, next year I would give the DCPS the option. Either bring in candy or give 5$ and you will purchase candy for DCK to pass out. You can add the 5$ to their weekly bill or they can just give you a 5$ bill.
This might help
Whenever I ask parents to bring things in, I get the same problem.
I don't think it is fair to punish the kids for their parents negligence though. I would make sure they all get the same amount of candy.
However, next year I would give the DCPS the option. Either bring in candy or give 5$ and you will purchase candy for DCK to pass out. You can add the 5$ to their weekly bill or they can just give you a 5$ bill.
This might help
My3cents 09:41 AM 10-31-2012
I do a different take on it......
I do because I want to do and don't worry about who does what.....
I picked up halloween buckets and I asked the parents if they would like, they can send in "healthyish" treats to share with friends. I figure they will get enough candy on Halloween and I want the parents to share in that experience with the child, with out the child getting sick from too much candy and sweets, during the day.
I put a box of fish, a special apple, 100% juice drinks, and apple sauce in the buckets. Some parents brought in, and some did not. They all knew
I don't worry about who does what. I do because I want to do. If no one brought anything in we would go on what I had already done.
We had a pizza party for lunch and I made Ghost toast for breakfast. (cut the bread to look like Ghost)
My kids are little so this worked out great and again, I never worry about who does what. I love these kids and I do because I want to do for them. I have great parents, and if they make a choice not to participate, they make that choice. Just like if they choose not to buy books from scholastic, they make that choice. I don't let this become a big deal.
I also stuck some organic lollies from Trader Joe's in their take home buckets......yes I am bad and yes I have a hard time following my own rules- but hey it is going home, and it is Halloween after all. One of my favorite days of the year!
I do because I want to do and don't worry about who does what.....
I picked up halloween buckets and I asked the parents if they would like, they can send in "healthyish" treats to share with friends. I figure they will get enough candy on Halloween and I want the parents to share in that experience with the child, with out the child getting sick from too much candy and sweets, during the day.
I put a box of fish, a special apple, 100% juice drinks, and apple sauce in the buckets. Some parents brought in, and some did not. They all knew
I don't worry about who does what. I do because I want to do. If no one brought anything in we would go on what I had already done.
We had a pizza party for lunch and I made Ghost toast for breakfast. (cut the bread to look like Ghost)
My kids are little so this worked out great and again, I never worry about who does what. I love these kids and I do because I want to do for them. I have great parents, and if they make a choice not to participate, they make that choice. Just like if they choose not to buy books from scholastic, they make that choice. I don't let this become a big deal.
I also stuck some organic lollies from Trader Joe's in their take home buckets......yes I am bad and yes I have a hard time following my own rules- but hey it is going home, and it is Halloween after all. One of my favorite days of the year!
Sugar Magnolia 09:51 AM 10-31-2012
I did treats, then I stopped, for the exact problem Meeko has. I just buy some simple halloween themed cookies and apples. Done. My expense.
Rinse and repeat for valentines day.
Rinse and repeat for christmas/haunakah.
Rinse and repeat for valentines day.
Rinse and repeat for christmas/haunakah.
MissAnn 11:19 AM 10-31-2012
I didn't do treats but a weeks worth of activities and cooking projects instead. I try not to ask for things from parents. I can't even get them to bring in extra clothes for their kids! Oh, but a mom brought in treat bags for all the kids....isn't that nice? Now I feel guilty that I'm not the one who did it! Can't win for losing.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:21 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Meeko:
My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
That's exactly what I would do. My son suggested that the kids who don't bring anything, still get to decorate a bag, but only get a few treats (from us) Maybe if parents see the other kids with bags stuffed full, they'll supply some next time?
Is this fair or not? I don't want the kids to feel punished because their parents are lazy, but at the same time, I hate being taken advantage of.
It just makes me want to stop doing activities like this even though in past years it's been a roaring success.
Input?
The kids will be fine. They will go trick or treating and get plenty of candy from strangers (AND THEIR PARENTS) tonight. Candy is a privilige, not a right.
bunnyslippers 11:36 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!"
I agree with this! I also think parents have become lazy. I had two families contact me last night to see if I was doing special treats today. We have just come out of a two day power outage and a hurricane, leading to my program being closed. I let them know that I didn't have anything special planned, but that they were more than welcome to send special snacks. Guess what? Neither of them did. Soooo, it was a regular day here.I would give all the kids the same amount of treats. But I would send home a notice saying that if participation does not improve for events like this, that they will be cancelled for good. And in the same letter, thank the parents BY NAME who did bring in treats.
"Halloween was a blast this year! The kids had so much fun decorating bags and collecting treats from friends. Thank you to Johnny for bringing Rice Krispy treats, Amanda for the lollipops, and Ryan for the gold coins!
It is participation that makes events like this special for all the children. To those who haven't considered donating in the past, please do next time. The children really love our class parties, but we cannot continue to do them without assistance. Sharing is caring!
"
Sunchimes 07:28 AM 11-01-2012
I didn't do things here, but I only have 1 family (2 kids) right now. But, I did make up special treat bags for my dcks past and present. All of my past kids come here to trick or treat. I made up a bunch of pumpkin spice play dough and put in baby food cups. I also made some candy corn bark and pretzel pumpkins. I put them in treat bags with a tag to remind parents who the homemade candy was from.
Each year, I make enough for my kids and any friends or cousins that may be with them. I only gave out 4 this year, so I have a ton of play dough left.
If I had a lot of kids, I probably wouldn't bother and might go more for a party.
Each year, I make enough for my kids and any friends or cousins that may be with them. I only gave out 4 this year, so I have a ton of play dough left.
If I had a lot of kids, I probably wouldn't bother and might go more for a party.