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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I'm About To My Breaking Point!
wdmmom 08:40 AM 06-23-2011
I've got a DCB...almost 3.

He's a smart kid...knows his colors, shapes, alphabet, recognizes upper and lower case letters, etc. But when it comes to demeanor, he's worse than a rage baby!

This kid will scream high pitched shrieks and squeals every time he is in trouble.

This morning it was because he chucked a toy at another kid's head. I sat him in time out and he kept spitting all over! I told him to stop and I get the screams and wails.

My lower level is split up into 3 rooms....another play room/nap room, my husbands "man room" and our game room. The other rooms are blocked off. This child has found amusement in getting off his cot, going into the game room and playing with the pool table and the pool balls. I have put the balls up, I have told him no, his mom slapped his fingers when I told her what he was doing, my husband has used his stern "Stay Out" voice but nothing helps.

I catch him in the act at least 3-4 times a week! When I'm not down there, I have a camera right on him so I know exactly what he's doing everyday.

What can I do to get it through this kid's head to stay on his cot? He's the same gremlin that doesn't stay at the table after he's done eating, needs direction all day everyday and now DCM decided to "start" potty training him. This kid screamed and kicked me yesterday so I'm not even going to try "training" him until after I get back from vacation!

Anyone have any advice.
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laundrymom 08:47 AM 06-23-2011
I wouldn't give him the opportunity to get a nap away from me. His little hoot would be napping beside me. For lunch I require them to ask to be excused. Or I return them to their chair. Rinse and repeat. He would get no freedom. He would play beside me, nap and eat beside me. Be my closest buddy until he earned his freedom. Hre we do sight and sound at all times. They are nevr out of my direct line of sight. We aren't allowed to use cameras.
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Cat Herder 08:54 AM 06-23-2011
Here his cot would be next to my desk so I could catch him and physically lay him back down, before he gets up.

Can you do that?
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cheerfuldom 08:56 AM 06-23-2011
I don't wrestle down tantrum throwing kids. This situation sounds out of control. I guess I don't have anything to offer but sympathy. Personally, I would just term him.
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MN Day Mom 09:03 AM 06-23-2011
First thoughts.. can you make the areas and rooms that day kids are not allowed in inaccessible some how? Or gate in the napping area somehow??

Like others, he'd be next to me all day every day and I would be redirecting , re-sitting and re-cotting each and every time until it stuck. Some kids just need more re-teachings than others... good luck.
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wdmmom 09:08 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Here his cot would be next to my desk so I could catch him and physically lay him back down, before he gets up.

Can you do that?
I can...the only conflict is, I'd have to move him to the main floor and with my own kids being home, it tends to be a little louder so I'm sure ANY distraction would stir him up even more.

Cheerfuldom ~ Terming isn't really an option. I've had this kid since he was newborn and I love his parents. They are great people, have awesome careers, always pay on time, keep him home when he's ill, if they don't go to work, they keep him home, they give me bonuses, etc.

I'm sure it's just a part of the "Terrible 2's" but how long does this usually last? He's been pretty rotten 3 of the 4 days this week!

This kid can be the sweetest little lovebug there is but this last week has been nightmare-ish. Maybe it's just me starting vacation mode early!
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Cat Herder 09:17 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I can...the only conflict is, I'd have to move him to the main floor and with my own kids being home, it tends to be a little louder so I'm sure ANY distraction would stir him up even more. :
Oh, yeah...that would not be fair to your kids, either.

Maybe put him back in a pack-n-play.crib/baby gated area for a bit so he has to earn his way back to a mat like a big kid?

"Sorry DCB, only big kids who can stay on their mats get to sleep on them. We will try again tomorrow." Rinse, repeat.

I am not sure of your regulations, but it does fall under safety so it may be feasible.

Unless he is one of those kids who likes to be babied or does not care either way, it may work..

Here the provider can not be on another floor or in an area where the kids can not be seen at all times. Funny how it does not address potty breaks, when asked directly they say "Contain them to a safe place and hurry".

I loopholed it by making my entire daycare a contained safe space and am always in a hurry.
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wdmmom 09:25 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Oh, yeah...that would not be fair to your kids, either.

Maybe put him back in a pack-n-play.crib/baby gated area for a bit so he has to earn his way back to a mat like a big kid?

Believe you and me, I'd love to....he's figured out how to climb out of every stinking one of them! Nanny de suggested J. Mason's because the height of the sides is slightly higher than the way they are made now. He can get out of that one too.

He started knocking pack n plays over at 21 months just so he could get out and run!

He's a hellion!

I really love this kid and I know he's not always been like this but these past few 3 months have been hit and miss on his behavior. It's insane when I'm having to redirect him every 10 minutes because he goes out of his way to do something wrong!
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countrymom 10:00 AM 06-23-2011
I think you need to do it right away, the minute he sits up, you should be on him. You are giving him way to much time to run amuck. I would put him back in a pnp, the minute I would see him even sit up, I would be in there telling him to lay back down.
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PeanutsGalore 10:01 AM 06-23-2011
If he hasn't always been like this, then I'm sure it's just "that phase"...whatever that means. :P Lots of hugs. Hope this passes soon. On the bright side, at least his parents are working WITH you. That will make the phase pass even quicker.

Why would cameras be against the rules? Sounds safer than simple audio monitors.
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Cat Herder 10:08 AM 06-23-2011
Wow, yeah that sounds hard.

I know what I'd do if he were my own child...

As a DCK, I would need him to be contained so I could go to the restroom, mop the floors or handle an emergency at the very minimum.

I think my last resort would be to strap him in my large free standing high chair with the seat reclined back as far as possible or a 5-point harness car seat (never with an infant under 12 months for other people reading this ) when I was at my last straw before termination.

The rest of the time it would have to be direct shadowing and physically putting him back down. I know it is not ideal, but at some point it is reality. Just make sure Mom is on board to cover your bases.

I also would start telling the parents how much he could "benefit from a structured pre-school atmosphere since he is so active and loves to explore".... That is my code for, "Your child is taking up too large a portion of my time and attention and is placing an unfair burden on the other kids."

I do wish you luck, that is a difficult age already without having a child who lacks any form of self-discipline in group care.
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wdmmom 10:21 AM 06-23-2011
He's going to preschool in September. It's only 2 hours a day 2 days a week but those 2 days he'll come back, eat lunch, and go to bed. Yippee!
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QualiTcare 10:28 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I think you need to do it right away, the minute he sits up, you should be on him. You are giving him way to much time to run amuck. I would put him back in a pnp, the minute I would see him even sit up, I would be in there telling him to lay back down.
i agree. he's not going to do something if there's no reward in it for him. even if he gets "in trouble" for playing with the pool table, being in trouble was worth the reward of getting to get up and play even for a minute. eliminate the reward and the behavior will stop. it will be work because you'll have to hover, but that's part of the job. if you just can't physically do it (although i think it really needs to be done) maybe you could buy one of those cheap little hooks to put outside the door so you can lock it. that will eliminate the "reward" of the pool table, but i'm sure he'd find something else to get into.
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wdmmom 10:42 AM 06-23-2011
The room doesn't have a door but it is blocked off.

I laid the kids down about an hour ago and today I only caught him up twice. The others went right to sleep. I think he realized he didn't have anyone to mess with so he finally decided to sleep too.

I think I'm going to try 1 of 2 things when I get back from vacation:

A.) He will have his own separate sleeping area. That way he has no one to mess with and no attention he can create to cause commotion.

B.) I will lay him down for a morning nap and an afternoon nap. DCM says he takes morning naps at home so maybe it's that he's overtired because he's not getting one here. Being 3 I really don't think a morning nap is necessary but if that's what I have to do, I'll gladly do it!

**The worst time of the day for him is between 10am and 1pm...I'm thinking that's why the morning nap might be beneficial.
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sahm2three 01:29 PM 06-23-2011
http://trus.imageg.net/graphics/prod...-7615717dt.jpg

I have a few of these. One I use at nap time for 1 of my little boys who refuses to stay on his mat. Good luck!
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