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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Transisition Resistance
WImom 09:33 AM 11-17-2010
What do you do when you have children that come to your childcare that have never had a routine before. I have an almost 4 year old that after a week and 1/2 is still not liking most transisitions. Any tips?
DCMom 09:52 AM 11-17-2010
Oh man, that is tough...and a week isn't a very long time.
I had a 3.5 year old start about year ago. Though mom worked out of the home, he had only been with grandma(s) and aunts as far as daycare. His mom was a friend of one of my dcm's, so I took him part-time (which of course complicates the problem). He was very book smart but had no social skills.
He wasn't potty trained (and the largest pull ups didn't fit, so he was in diapers), he didn't like to eat anything that remotely resembled a fruit or a vegetable and had absolutely NO social skills outside of hitting to get his way.
It has been a LONG road, but I just kept to my routine. Kept to the rules, explained the expectations. After the first week or so I got tougher and had the same expectations I have for the other kids. After all, it wasn't his fault that he had never had the opportunity to be in a group setting, kwim? It really helped that I have another dcb that is his age; they are the best of friends and the other little boy has been here since he was a baby, so he know the ropes
He is one of my best, most loving kids now! He wear undies all the time now (no accidents here
) He follows directions, participates in activities, I just can't say enough. But he was a challenge...it took a very long time and tons of patience.
It is funny that this thread came up today...because it is his last day
Dad lost his job. I will miss him, but I'm glad he made soooo much progress in the last year.
I had a 3.5 year old start about year ago. Though mom worked out of the home, he had only been with grandma(s) and aunts as far as daycare. His mom was a friend of one of my dcm's, so I took him part-time (which of course complicates the problem). He was very book smart but had no social skills.
He wasn't potty trained (and the largest pull ups didn't fit, so he was in diapers), he didn't like to eat anything that remotely resembled a fruit or a vegetable and had absolutely NO social skills outside of hitting to get his way.
It has been a LONG road, but I just kept to my routine. Kept to the rules, explained the expectations. After the first week or so I got tougher and had the same expectations I have for the other kids. After all, it wasn't his fault that he had never had the opportunity to be in a group setting, kwim? It really helped that I have another dcb that is his age; they are the best of friends and the other little boy has been here since he was a baby, so he know the ropes
He is one of my best, most loving kids now! He wear undies all the time now (no accidents here
) He follows directions, participates in activities, I just can't say enough. But he was a challenge...it took a very long time and tons of patience.It is funny that this thread came up today...because it is his last day
Dad lost his job. I will miss him, but I'm glad he made soooo much progress in the last year.
kidkair 11:47 AM 11-17-2010
Try giving her/him a heads up that a transition is coming. We'll be cleaning up in a couple minutes to get ready to eat lunch. That strategy worked really well on a kid I had here that would have behavioral issues if he didn't know what was next.
WImom 11:56 AM 11-17-2010
Thanks, yeah I've been giving a heads up. 5 minutes, 3 minutes, etc and telling her what is coming next. Nap time is really our hardest time. She starts getting mad as soon as she sees those nap mats come out (I lay them out while they eat lunch with a few books on each so they are running around after). I'm hoping by the end of next month the routine will be down. She doesn't nap but doesnt like that she has to stay on that mat and be quiet while the other go to sleep.
Lilbutterflie 11:57 AM 11-17-2010
I religiously give 5 minute warnings on almost everything! So much so, that others have noticed & commented that I always say "Okay everyone! 5 more minutes and then we are going to _________!" I started doing this before I even did daycare b/c my daughter had the hardest time with transitions! And then magically she was fine as long as I gave her a 5 minute warning! Now it's just automatic for me.
SilverSabre25 12:36 PM 11-17-2010
I have one DCG who's a lot younger than yours, only 16 months or so, and she hasn't liked transitions from the very beginning. She's been with me for several months, and went through two MAJOR schedule changes, and is just now getting to the point where she doesn't screech her fool head off (one of the pterodactyl screeches) every single time we transition for any reason. It's been about two/three months in my care with my routing, and now three weeks on her newest attendance schedule, for her to finally come to terms with things and stop screeching. So, it does take a long time sometimes for them to figure out transitions.
Live and Learn 12:44 PM 11-17-2010
OH MY GOODNESS SILVER SABRE !!!!!....my 18 month old screamer is exactly the same way. I have decided it is mostly temperament, not enough sleep at home, teething, and being the only child of older parents.....if I give a five minute warning about upcoming transitions she starts crying right away!