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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Food Strike...That Seems To Be Catching
Meyou 09:32 AM 06-23-2011
I have a 4.5 year old DCB who has been on a food strike off and on for 2 months now. Some days he'll eat...some days he cries that he hates snack/lunch before he even knowns what it is. The parents and I are in agreement that it's a power struggle and we're dealing with it. Things have been getting better and he was eating without a struggle most of the time.

Until this week. He had a bad day Tuesday and decided he hated toast. Fine...you can leave the table and go read books quietly while everyone eats. Except that my dcb (4) and dcg (3.5) are now playing monkey see, monkey do and also refusing to eat. Today all three of them wouldn't eat one bite of lunch and I KNOW they were hungry. We played outside for 2.5 hours in between lunch and snack. They were starving!

Soo....what do I do? Keep excusing them and wait it out? Make them sit? Give them their snack or lunch at the next food time? Separate them while eating until the get over it? I just don't know what to do to end it quickly.

Food battles stress me out. I do not like fighting with kids to eat but I also hate throwing perfectly good food out when I know it's a power struggle. It's one of my biggest pet peeves in the world that children don't sit and eat meals at the table at mealtime like they used to. I also feel that continuously letting them skip meals will lead to skipping meals for a better option at the next eating time. That bugs me too.

Help!
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sharlan 09:39 AM 06-23-2011
Monkey see, monkey do, monkey get in trouble, too.

I would not excuse the first child from the table until the others are done eating. The other two see him being rewarded for not eating. If he acts up at the table, move his chair to the side and make him sit there while the others eat. Cheerfully interact with the two that are eating, but ignore the one who isn't.

When the others are done, dump his food and remind him that there won't be anything else to eat until the next snack/meal.

My motto is - some days we have what you like for breakfast/lunch, other days we have what I like. Deal with it.
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countrymom 09:57 AM 06-23-2011
this is why i don't believe in letting children leave the table because they don't want to eat. What kind of example are you setting for the other children, and what are you expecting to happen with the original problem kid, that one day a light will go off and they will eat. Sorry for the anger but this was post a couple of weeks ago and to me this is the most ridiculous way of handling food issues, its not better than some of the parents we get.

now I wouldn't let him leave the table, to bad so sad that he doesn't want to eat. Evenually he will eat when he sees the other kids eating. Also, I know supernanny does the same thing, the kids learn to sit and eat, even if its a bite or two, its better than none.

also, as a warning, a mom on another forum had cas on her because her child said that he had no dinner, its not that it wasn't offered it was the fact that he didn't eat it, she let him go because he didn't want to eat and no she is battling cas. You never know who will call on you, and even if you say that they won't invistigate you, you never know what the parent will say.

oh, it does get better, I don't budge on food, it cost money and time to make heathly meal, so I don't let them get away with it.
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Meyou 10:03 AM 06-23-2011
I've tried making him sit and he acts out badly. Either throwing a tantrum or fooling around and getting the rest of them going. That's why I switched to sending him away.

I'm open to making him sit again if I can make it work. They make him sit at home, sometimes for hours. He had one day here where he sat all day (at the parent's request - we were gettnig desperate) and didn't eat one bite and didn't eat at home so nothing all day. He ate like a horse the next day and was back on strike the next. Grrrr.

So what would you do about the acting out? Timeout and back to the table? That might work.

This is not about the food, it's about him being a stubborn little boy. He has eaten what he's been given for years here until 2 months ago.
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kathiemarie 10:14 AM 06-23-2011
He will eat when he is hungry. I wouldn't make him sit all day but I would have him sit while everyone else is eating. Do you sit with them while they eat? If you don't you might want to to stop the goofing off. I talk would about table manners not even bring up the food issue. Don't make it about food but make it about manners. Good luck!
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Meyou 10:22 AM 06-23-2011
I do sit with them but I'm feeding a baby as well. When he's not eating and fooling around he'll stop when I ask him but then start again 10 seconds later. He's a goof and the other two can't handle it and literally melt into a pile of giggles and then the two two year olds catch on there's a joke and stop eating too.

What about putting him to eat at a seperate table so he's still sitting but not giving the option to fool around. I have a little table in chairs for art projects where he could sit within my sight if I walk two steps from the table but out of sight of the kids.
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QualiTcare 10:19 AM 06-23-2011
i would let the other kids have a "treat" after they eat all of their food, but make it a surprise. don't tell them or the non-eater that you're going to do it. it can be something as simple as ONE or two skittles or M&Ms. something that's cheap and lasts a long time. or a popcicle maybe? take them outside after lunch when it's hot out.

anyhow, after the kids who actually eat their food get finished, give them their treat. when the other kid comes running and wants a piece of the pie - tell him NO and stick to your guns. if he wasn't hungry for a sandwich or pasta or whatever it was you made for lunch then he shouldn't be hungry when the other kids are getting a treat either.

i'd be shocked if he didn't eat after that. i'd let him know WHY he wasn't getting what the other kids had, but that he might be able to get something next time if he eats his meal. it's pretty much the old "no dessert until you finish your supper" routine that people call bribery now.
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Meyou 10:25 AM 06-23-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i would let the other kids have a "treat" after they eat all of their food, but make it a surprise. don't tell them or the non-eater that you're going to do it. it can be something as simple as ONE or two skittles or M&Ms. something that's cheap and lasts a long time. or a popcicle maybe? take them outside after lunch when it's hot out.

anyhow, after the kids who actually eat their food get finished, give them their treat. when the other kid comes running and wants a piece of the pie - tell him NO and stick to your guns. if he wasn't hungry for a sandwich or pasta or whatever it was you made for lunch then he shouldn't be hungry when the other kids are getting a treat either.

i'd be shocked if he didn't eat after that. i'd let him know WHY he wasn't getting what the other kids had, but that he might be able to get something next time if he eats his meal. it's pretty much the old "no dessert until you finish your supper" routine that people call bribery now.
He loves his treats so this is definitely an option. Especially in the summer when we have freezies ALOT. I don't mind bribing once in a while. I bribed a DCG to poop in the potty so she'd stop going in the pullup every naptime. Worked in 4 days and then I stopped the bribes. I used stickers that time because she adores them.
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CheekyChick 01:44 PM 06-23-2011
Here are my suggestions:

1. He's getting attention from you and his parents, so I would NEVER discuss this issue in his presence again.

2. Do NOT let him get up. Let him sit and throw a fit and completely ignore him and praise the children who are eating and acting nicely.

3. Keep a log of when he's eating, not eating, his behavior during meal time, etc. so if someone turns you in, you have proof that you've done all you can do. You might also get a signed note from his parents, stating he does the same thing at home.

You're doing a good job. Just try to remember that, "This too shall pass."
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SandeeAR 07:13 AM 06-28-2011
I had an almost 3 y/o that went on a food strike. Would eat breakfast, but refused anything I fixed for lunch. Even her favorites. With Mom's blessing, I only gave afternoon snack when she ate lunch. Our thinking was she would be hungry and eat dinner. However, Dad did pick up and had the kids until Mom got home at dinne time. Found out as soon as the big sister was picked up, he gave them both a snack. So anything Mom and I were doing was useless. She just never at after breakfast at my house. She left several months ago for preschool.
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