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sally 12:33 PM 11-20-2013
I know that no parent is perfect but sometimes I wonder how some people even make it as adults. I have a set of parents. They seem fairly smart. Have 2 kids and feel so bad for one of their children. The way they treat him makes you think they never wanted him. The older child is always given new things. He will be brought to my house while they take the older child to the city to chuckie cheese, amusement parks etc. The younger child knows this and he cries over it. It hurts his feelings. Hos sibling brags about everything. The older child will be handed new toys or special treats and the younger one gets ignored. It would be okay if they did this for both kids. Each one given special treatment on their own times. But since I have watched them (2 years) it's always been only the older one is treated special. We try to do fun things for the younger one while I have him but one day I think this is going to cause major issues in his life. Have any of you ever had parents that did this?
BrooklynM 01:09 PM 11-20-2013
How old are the kids?
sally 01:29 PM 11-20-2013
They are 5 and 6. So its not like the younger one is too little or too young to do fun things with
nannyde 01:30 PM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by sally:
They are 5 and 6. So its not like the younger one is too little or too young to do fun things with
Any words from them that he was an accident?They are 5 and 6. So its not like the younger one is too little or too young to do fun things with
thetoddlerwhisper 01:35 PM 11-20-2013
thats highly concerning to me....
sally 01:50 PM 11-20-2013
He probably was an accident. I'm on somewhat friendly terms with them. They have tons of pictures of the older child from birth on but very few of the younger child. Almost all toys in their home are geared for the older child. He gets toys on the basis that the older child doesn't want them anymore or chooses them for him. Its odd to me even if the child wasn't planned. He's a sweet boy.
Unregistered 03:58 PM 11-20-2013
Ah! That is really sad! Poor kiddo!
bgmeyers 04:22 PM 11-20-2013
Pathetic Call them out on it
Let them KNOW that younger child is hurt.
Shame on them
Shame them
Let them KNOW that younger child is hurt.
Shame on them
Shame them
BumbleBee 04:22 PM 11-20-2013
Have a set of siblings whose parents are exactly like this. 3.5 & 5 yo. It is sad.
Holladee 05:46 PM 11-20-2013
This is heartbreaking. Poor kiddo.
MotherNature 07:14 AM 11-21-2013
poor guy. My mom used to do this to my younger (now middle) son. She'd take my firstborn everywhere & leave Armand with me. All sorts of fun stuff. She'd bring the firstborn special stuff...and no, it wasn't a special birthright custom or anything cultural...I had to call her out on it, and my dad did too. My younger son would cry and wail about being left out. It was awful; they're only 22 mos apart. Their relationship now is pretty non-existent & she always asks me why he never texts her. She was pretty mean to him though, even into the teen years & got physical with him as well. She actually has paid my eldest's rent, meanwhile...Sigh..(Course, that was to get my daughter to move closer to her after she came out...something my mother severely disapproves of. My mom likes to control things. Anything she does has strings attached.)
Cat Herder 07:23 AM 11-21-2013
Ah, "The Golden Child". There are HUNDREDS of books about this on amazon... 
You say "they" treat him different, is it both parents or more one than the other?
You say "they" treat him different, is it both parents or more one than the other?
sally 07:21 PM 11-26-2013
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
Unregistered 07:43 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by sally:
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
Really?! How can a mom forget that?! My heart breaks for that little child!!!Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
Unregistered 08:46 PM 11-26-2013
That is cruel! I would definitely call her out on it. He could be being abused at home,there are many stories how people will pick one child and abuse,mock,belittle,starve,torture and treat the others just fine.Are there any other signs? Again,that is cruel.Please don't let this go,it's not okay ans someone should address it now before that poor kid is ruined for life.Please be his advocate since his mother doesn't seem to care about his feelings
TwinKristi 09:14 PM 11-26-2013
Originally Posted by sally:
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
THAT is horrible Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
Today is my son's birthday and we had all sorts of fun today! I can't imagine him spending it with someone else and me not even acknowledging it or celebrating it. Some people just shouldn't have kids. There must be something underlying that you don't know about, maybe a traumatic birth? Maybe even as far as a twin pregnancy and one was miscarried? Maybe they told her it was a girl or she really wanted a girl and she was devastated that he was a boy? So sad... I don't know if I could keep from asking if there's a reason why?
SSWonders 04:48 AM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by sally:
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
That's pathetic. Some people just don't deserve the wonderful gift of the children they are given. This little boy is old enough to pick up on the fact that his brother is treated differently. My heart aches for him.Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
childcaremom 04:56 AM 11-27-2013
That breaks my heart. Poor little guy.
melilley 10:38 AM 11-27-2013
Originally Posted by sally:
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
Well these parent's did it again. Their older child had a birthday in early September and they celebrated it with 3 different birthday parties and 3 different cakes. I know this because my own dd was invited to each party and I was shown all the pictures of each party. The younger childs' birthday is today. I celebrated it here with him gave him a gift, we did fun stuff he liked, fixed hos favorite lunch and he blew out candles on a cake. He hugged me so many times and was so happy. At pick up his mom asked what the gifts were for and when he explained it wad for his birthday she says oh I guess it is. We'll have to get him something I guess. So how does a mother forget a childs birthday? I'm guessing that what we did was the only party he'll get.
How? How could she forget? Poor guy! What did you say to her?
Laurel 10:44 AM 11-27-2013
I stay out of parent/child relationships but in this case I would HAVE to speak up. That is beyond wrong. Wow.
Laurel
Laurel
Sunchimes 02:30 PM 11-27-2013
Do you ever want to tell a parent, "No, go away. You can't have him back. You don't deserve him"? Hmm, no idea how to punctuate the end of that sentence. ;-)
I haven't done it for a daycare kid, but I've done it for a neighbor kid. He spent every Christmas and most other holidays with us. Even after we moved away, we would go back there, go to his house, tell a sibling we were taking him, and off we'd go for a weekend. Parents didn't care a bit. It's the only way that kid ever got any attention. I would have taken him to raise, but he loved his family and I don't think he would have been content. It's a puzzle to me, but even neglected, unwanted kids can't let go of that parental bond.
He's 20 now, expecting a baby this month, and seems to be doing ok. I think he is on the fringes of a gang-all of his uncles are in gangs, but so far, he isn't involved. I pray all the time.
I haven't done it for a daycare kid, but I've done it for a neighbor kid. He spent every Christmas and most other holidays with us. Even after we moved away, we would go back there, go to his house, tell a sibling we were taking him, and off we'd go for a weekend. Parents didn't care a bit. It's the only way that kid ever got any attention. I would have taken him to raise, but he loved his family and I don't think he would have been content. It's a puzzle to me, but even neglected, unwanted kids can't let go of that parental bond.
He's 20 now, expecting a baby this month, and seems to be doing ok. I think he is on the fringes of a gang-all of his uncles are in gangs, but so far, he isn't involved. I pray all the time.
jenn 02:47 PM 11-27-2013
That is horrible. My husband is the oldest of 7. They have a "golden child" in their family. He runs everything, and can do no wrong. The parents do all kinds of things to help him out, are very involved with his kids, ... My husband is the outcast of the family. The other 6 had cars given as gifts. Not my husband, they didn't even teach him to drive, another family did. The others received full paid college educations. Not my husband, they wouldn't help him with a dime. Our daughter is 5 and "grandpa" has seen her maybe 5 times, "Grandma" has never seen her. They live in the same town as us. I will never understand how they can treat the others so well, but act as if he and his daughter don't exist. It's crazy!
Msdunny 07:51 PM 11-27-2013
I was this child. My little sister was/is the golden child, while my mother could ignore me for weeks and months at a time. As a result, I am extremely independent, and don't have much of a family bond with my childhood family. I am extremely close to my own children, and would never intentionally hurt one of them.
My heart absolutely breaks for this child. I will tell you that I am a somewhat well adjusted adult because of adults who loved me outside of my family. Teachers, church families, even people I babysat for as a teenager. Please, please, please love this child and show him what 'normal' care looks like.
My heart absolutely breaks for this child. I will tell you that I am a somewhat well adjusted adult because of adults who loved me outside of my family. Teachers, church families, even people I babysat for as a teenager. Please, please, please love this child and show him what 'normal' care looks like.
Josiegirl 03:33 AM 11-28-2013
I don't understand some people. It's so sad what this little guy is going through. Yes, shame shame shame on his mom. Wish I could give him a huge hug and fill his Christmas tree with all kinds of gifts, just for him. Speaking of Christmas, what will happen to him then? And as someone else mentioned, how is he treated at home? Ignored? Abused? Left to deal on his own? Is he in danger? I would have to speak up and if I saw any signs of neglect, abuse, definitely make a call.
Yes, shame shame shame on his mom. Wish I could give him a huge hug and fill his Christmas tree with all kinds of gifts, just for him. Speaking of Christmas, what will happen to him then? And as someone else mentioned, how is he treated at home? Ignored? Abused? Left to deal on his own? Is he in danger? I would have to speak up and if I saw any signs of neglect, abuse, definitely make a call.