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View Poll Results: Should I Take a Day Off To Carve Pumpkins With My Kids?
Yes - I need it! 8 22.86%
No - It's a Matter of Trust 27 77.14%
Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Calling In Sick?????
MommyofThree 04:51 AM 10-26-2011
Hi so im calling in sick fri because I would like to voulenteer at my kids school carving pumpkins. Plus I took off on halloween. I never do things at my childrens school because dc has taken over my life:{ I looking for another job but for the time being this is all I have to make money besides my dh job.



Has anybody just called in sick just because and what did you tell the parents and were they upset???? Thanks
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Cat Herder 04:54 AM 10-26-2011
I never have but understand the motivation. I have felt like calling out due to lack of interest a couple times...but I can't.

The road has to go both ways. I expect the parents to be dependable about paying me, I have to be dependable in providing childcare.
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MommyofThree 05:30 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I never have but understand the motivation. I have felt like calling out due to lack of interest a couple times...but I can't.

The road has to go both ways. I expect the parents to be dependable about paying me, I have to be dependable in providing childcare.
I know but I have no motivation lately. I termed a few kids due to stress so I went down to just five. I just feel like my children dont have all of me and if I worked out side my home they would have more of me, yes it sounds werid but true I never call in. The parents call in when their sick so how come they get pissed if we do I smoke now every now and then and need to have courage to not smoke when stressed out and find alternitive ways instead of smoking.
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Heidi 05:38 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
Hi so im calling in sick fri because I would like to voulenteer at my kids school carving pumpkins. Plus I took off on halloween. I never do things at my childrens school because dc has taken over my life:{ I looking for another job but for the time being this is all I have to make money besides my dh job.



Has anybody just called in sick just because and what did you tell the parents and were they upset???? Thanks
I would be very worried that I called in sick, and then someone found out I was actually taking the day off to carve pumpkins! Your going to a public place....

I am not judging, I totally understand why, just saying....
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MommyofThree 05:47 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
I would be very worried that I called in sick, and then someone found out I was actually taking the day off to carve pumpkins! Your going to a public place....

I am not judging, I totally understand why, just saying....
its at a school where no other children I watch go to. plus its about my daughter. Doesnt anybody feel this way where they cant help at their childrens school because dck take over your life My home also is messy due to them and im such a clean freak that It bugs be so much that my home is like this. My furniture I now have to replace because kids pee on it and my rugs when they kmow better to go in the potty. I guess im going though a rough time and its just gotton to me
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cheerfuldom 05:57 AM 10-26-2011
I would not call and lie. you could have planned ahead for a day off. I know daycare is hard, I have 3 young kids myself, daycare and am a full time college student.
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MommyofThree 06:01 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would not call and lie. you could have planned ahead for a day off. I know daycare is hard, I have 3 young kids myself, daycare and am a full time college student.
yep im a full time student as well. I keep a 4.0 and perfect attendance. I try to take days off but the parents say well i have no back up care.
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nannyde 06:05 AM 10-26-2011
No I've never done that. I missed one day my first year of child care and the parents were pretty nasty about it. I was a newbie and took it pretty hard. I haven't missed a day since.

I give them my word that if I call in then they KNOW I'm really really sick. I think they would be kind about it now since I have two to seven plus years with each family and I've never called in sick.

My word is important to our relationship. If I wanted a day off for my sons stuff I would just ask for it. I really DO get that we miss a lot but that's the life my son was born into. It's not perfect for him but it's a good life.
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JenNJ 06:06 AM 10-26-2011
Why didn't you call in a sub or schedule to be closed that day? I don't take off often, but when I do, my clients understand. I took off a few days recently and even though my clients are not required to pay, they did because they said I deserve a day off paid like everyone else.
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Heidi 06:07 AM 10-26-2011
Melissa-we get it, really!
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MommyofThree 06:08 AM 10-26-2011
I understand but Ive been doing this for seven years and never called in. I guess I need advise from those that has done it at least onece. Im sure there is but some just wont speak up about it because some may look down on them.
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Heidi 06:11 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
No I've never done that. I missed one day my first year of child care and the parents were pretty nasty about it. I was a newbie and took it pretty hard. I haven't missed a day since.

I give them my word that if I call in then they KNOW I'm really really sick. I think they would be kind about it now since I have two to seven plus years with each family and I've never called in sick.

My word is important to our relationship. If I wanted a day off for my sons stuff I would just ask for it. I really DO get that we miss a lot but that's the life my son was born into. It's not perfect for him but it's a good life.
And the trade off is you are home for them every day after school, and if you can manage it, you can throw in a load of laundry or start dinner during the day. Everything is a trade off! If you work outside the home, there are benefits and draw backs as well. I guess we each have to decide if childcare is a good fit for us. For me, it's the best fit. It's reasonably fun & rewarding work, and it pays as well as any outside job I'm qualified for. Plus, my kids don't come home to an empty house at the end of the day.
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MommyofThree 06:14 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
Why didn't you call in a sub or schedule to be closed that day? I don't take off often, but when I do, my clients understand. I took off a few days recently and even though my clients are not required to pay, they did because they said I deserve a day off paid like everyone else.
I dont have a sub and I took halloween off so they would fuss about it. I would love a part 9-3 lol. But my dh said I can stop doing dc in may when my intern starts. and just focuss on school.
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MommyofThree 06:16 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
And the trade off is you are home for them every day after school, and if you can manage it, you can throw in a load of laundry or start dinner during the day. Everything is a trade off! If you work outside the home, there are benefits and draw backs as well. I guess we each have to decide if childcare is a good fit for us. For me, it's the best fit. It's reasonably fun & rewarding work, and it pays as well as any outside job I'm qualified for. Plus, my kids don't come home to an empty house at the end of the day.
My dh said if I can get a good paying job outside the home then he would love to do this. lol. I would love it for him to stay home. lol
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MsMe 06:19 AM 10-26-2011
I understand burn-out, really I do.

Look at the school calender and plan a couple of days to spend withyour daughter at school.

I have never worked in an office but I am guessing things go on pretty much as normal if one or two are missing (and I also guess that someone playing hookey would make sure all of their work for the next day was already finished so it would be less noticed taht they were missing)

....where in our job if we are 'gone' there are FIVE (in my case 10+) people who can't go to work, who don't have their work for the day complete and who are each letting down 1-5 more people.

Like I said I DO UNDERSTAND. Plan a day or a whole week if you need it, give a few weeks notice and then enjoy!
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MommyofThree 06:21 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
I understand burn-out, really I do.

Look at the school calender and plan a couple of days to spend withyour daughter at school.

I have never worked in an office but I am guessing things go on pretty much as normal if one or two are missing (and I also guess that someone playing hookey would make sure all of their work for the next day was already finished so it would be less noticed taht they were missing)

....where in our job if we are 'gone' there are FIVE in my case (10+) people who can't go to work, who don't have their work for the day complete and who are each letting down 1-5 more people.

Like I said I DO UNDERSTAND. Plan a day or a whole week if you need it, give a few weeks notice and then enjoy!
my children school sends out notices one week prior thats it
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littlemommy 06:32 AM 10-26-2011
The only time I've "called in sick" was when I had mastitis super bad when I first started. I had 2 kids here, and had parents pick up early. I had a 104.5 degree fever and felt like I had been hit by a train. No energy, hurt to move, just horrible. Got some good rest, took some apple cider vinegar and echinacea tea, and was back to work the next morning.

I would love to take random days off, but realize I need to be reliable for these parents. Otherwise I run the risk of losing them! I've already taken a week vacation (with a month's notice) and will be taking maternity leave in a few months.
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2ndFamilyDC 06:34 AM 10-26-2011
In 22 years I have honestly never done it. But can totally understand the need to do it. I just know how hard it would be for the parents to scramble at the last minute to find some back up last minute.

I did miss an entire week of daycare in my 3rd year doing it due to an extremely nasty flu bug, never have I had the flu since.

I hated missing out on all the school activites for my sons when they were going to school, I did schedule as many things as I could and take vacation days then. But I also brought my dc kids to their school for some things that I did not want to miss out on.

Whatever you decide will be the right thing for you.
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MsMe 06:45 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
my children school sends out notices one week prior thats it
bummer, I don't have any kids of my own so I am not sure how classrooms work. Maybe if you call the teacher she will know a little further in advance and can give you a heads up? Maybe she has some of her lesson plans maped out a little further in advance? If she knows you need an extra week of notice she maybe able to give it to you?

Just trying to think of ways to help. Enjoy your day at school wiht your daughter
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Unregistered 06:45 AM 10-26-2011
Get a sub or helper or volunteer to take some of the slack off and give you those days you need.

I would not call out to do the things you are wanting to do. Parents rely on us and pay us. Not good business.

I would close early on Halloween but not close all together.

I do understand the burn out and just not wanting to do it days.......we all have them. Have to work through them.

It's one thing if you are sick but if your not well...... I even push through days when I am sick. Most of us here have to do that.
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jessrlee 07:18 AM 10-26-2011
Personally, I wouldn't do it. I will sometimes "decide" to call in sick. What I do is figure out how much I made for that day, and spend it doing something super special on Saturday! I figure I wouldn't get the money if I called in. So every once in a blue moon I play "hooky" and no one even knows . Maybe take DD to the pumpkin patch this weekend?
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MommyofThree 07:22 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by jessrlee:
Personally, I wouldn't do it. I will sometimes "decide" to call in sick. What I do is figure out how much I made for that day, and spend it doing something super special on Saturday! I figure I wouldn't get the money if I called in. So every once in a blue moon I play "hooky" and no one even knows . Maybe take DD to the pumpkin patch this weekend?
so u do or u dont. first you say you wouldnt then you say you have played hookey??
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Crystal 07:33 AM 10-26-2011
It's not something I would do. BUT, if you find it is really important to you, then I would BE HONEST with the parents and take the day off. Put yourself in their shoes....how would you feel if they lied to you? Lying is the one thing I would term parents for.....and if I lied to them, I'd expect the same if I got caught.

I hope you can get the day off to spend with your daughter. I undertsand wanting to experience those few precious moments as she grows up.
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PitterPatter 07:47 AM 10-26-2011
First and foremost I couldn't lie. I can't stand being lied to so I try to show the same respect. I have missed many classroom parties since opening daycare. I used to always be the class Mom and prep all the parties, help kids with costumes at halloween etc. Now it's hard to get a back up in on short notice. I attend as much as possible. If I only have a couple kids I may even tale them with me in order to attend. Our school also waits for the week of or week before to give any notice of special events. I have in my contract that I will give at least 2 weeks notice prior to any days off so that ruins it for me. I feel so bad missing certain things but as long as Im there for the music programs and such then it doesn't seem as bad. It's sad at times our children don't ask to be born into our environment yet we have to work. If I miss something special I do my best to make it up to my son. A special trip somehwere on the weekend or a surprise of some sort, definatly extra mommy and me time later... those kinds of things.

I would inform the parents of the special occasion you would like to spend with your child. Maybe they will work with you. I don't know how your familes are but mine will claim not to have anyone else yet when they want to go out they have sitters all over the place. I have 1 client just like clock work every Friday she would want to go out right from work so many dif family members and friends would pick up her child at 6:00 and keep him overnight even. You dont know how bad I wanted to call her on her lie of she has no one else when I wanted to take off for a holiday or vacation.

Anyway, I would just be honest. Honesty is always the best policy! Good luck to you.
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bgmeyers 07:56 AM 10-26-2011
I call out sick when I'm sick. I've missed alot over the years with my kids, but so much in life is a trade off. Kids are now 19 and 14, and there is still alot I can't do with and for them, but it has been worth it.
I have learned to take planned personal days and have paid sick days in my contract. I take these if need be. Burn out is a real issue in this business.
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Nellie 08:18 AM 10-26-2011
Tonight when parents come to pick up hand then a note and say sorry for the short notice, but something came up and I need to close Friday. They will probable be crabby about it, but it will give them a little time to figure something out. Don't tell them why you need the day off, but just say something came up. For the most part my DCF's jobs depend on me. Yes they should have a back up, but many of them don't. They have to take the day off, call in family that lives 8 hours away, ect. I had my DD in daycare when she was a child and I don't EVER remember her provider calling in sick. Once she needed surgery and she had a sub for it. I guess as a parent I'd be looking for new daycare if I found out my provider called in sick and was just playing hooky. I wouldn't be able to trust or depend on you. Your families might pitch a fit, but I'm sure that they realise you need days off too.

Sounds like you don't like doing daycare and am only doing it until you can find another job. So it doesn't matter if they leave or not. So on Thursday night give a call around midnight. Tell the parents that it is coming out both ends, can't leave the bathroom, throw in a few fake coughs, and if start to give you grief do your best "oh NOOoooo" and hang up.
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sharlan 08:31 AM 10-26-2011
I am OCD when it comes to lying. I don't expect my parents to do it to me and I sure wouldn't do it to them. It goes both ways.

By taking a 4 day weekend, you may be jeopardizing their jobs. If they don't have back-up, they have to call in. Giving them such short notice is really unfair, especially since you really aren't sick.

It sounds like you are burned out and need to stop providing daycare.

Many stores are hiring right now for the Christmas season. Of course, then you run the risk of having to pay a provider for your kids.
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mismatchedsocks 08:47 AM 10-26-2011
I have never taken a "sick" day or a sick day off. I will close for my vacation with plenty of notice to parents.

I have however had a day that I only had one or two kids scheduled and was honest with the parents, asking if they had back up for that day, so I could get a day off. I didnt charge him for those days, and they were more then happy to bring kids to grandmas or where ever that day. I did this twice in 11 years, and works out great.

Honesty for me is important. If a parent wants to take day off to spend day with significant other, dont tell me you are sick.
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Unregistered 08:47 AM 10-26-2011
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.
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nannyde 08:56 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.
Well by you telling her you wouldn't say you were sick you aren't being that supportive.

Why do you get to say that and it's support but when someone else says it it's not support?

We can't blindly give support because someone comes on here and types... states they are a provider.... states what they think or a problem... and then all of us just do support words.

It doesn't work like that.
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MommyofThree 09:02 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.
wow thank you very much Someone on here is supportive. Its like people NEVER LIE. lol ya right. I bet they all tell a little fib here and there. But thank you for stating the fact that yes people do chew you out over this Its sad but I know alot more will come from just this post. lol
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MommyofThree 09:05 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Well by you telling her you wouldn't say you were sick you aren't being that supportive.

Why do you get to say that and it's support but when someone else says it it's not support?

We can't blindly give support because someone comes on here and types... states they are a provider.... states what they think or a problem... and then all of us just do support words.

It doesn't work like that.
She was not badgering me about fibbing ... Everyone says they dont lie, I think everyone tells a fib here and there..But I am taking everyones advise and writting them a letter stating something came up.
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MommyofThree 09:06 AM 10-26-2011
Also she is prob saying it because the moment someone hides there identity their a TROLL
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jessrlee 09:09 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
so u do or u dont. first you say you wouldnt then you say you have played hookey??
I play hooky, meaning I stay open, but reward myself with the cash.
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sharlan 09:18 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.


I am not being supportive or unsupportive. The OP asked for other's opinions and that's what she's getting. "I" would never just call parents and tell them "I" am sick, when I'm not. In 27 yrs, I've never done it.

I have taken time off for a couple of family vacations, but provided back up care. I have taken time off while I was in the hospital having my body rearranged, providing back up care for 2 weeks. I went through breast cancer twice, requiring numerous surgeries, chemo, and radiation. I saw to it that the kids were cared for while I was at appts or took them with me. I take a couple of days off to travel back and forth to Texas to help my sister, I provide back up care.

Parents have planned. They hired a responsible provider that they knew would be available to care for their child. Not everyone has backup care available to them and will have to take the day/s off. Having to take 2 days in a row off would not go over well with all employers, jeopardizing parents livlihood. It the parents don't get paid, they can't pay you.
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Ariana 09:41 AM 10-26-2011
Do you have "personal days" built into your contract? I have 5 PD's and 5 sick days that I use for things like this. I think if you were honest with them they might be more understanding about it because it would give them an opportunity to find alternate care. I think I'd be too afraid of getting caught!
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MsMe 09:48 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
wow thank you very much Someone on here is supportive. Its like people NEVER LIE. lol ya right. I bet they all tell a little fib here and there. But thank you for stating the fact that yes people do chew you out over this Its sad but I know alot more will come from just this post. lol
I never lie, its wrong and I don't do it.

It comes at personal sacrafice of making everyone in my life happy and sometimes they think I am 'mean' but I never lie.

I am an adult with nothing to hide and I see no reason for it.
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MommyofThree 09:48 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Do you have "personal days" built into your contract? I have 5 PD's and 5 sick days that I use for things like this. I think if you were honest with them they might be more understanding about it because it would give them an opportunity to find alternate care. I think I'd be too afraid of getting caught!
no, im a sahm who watches two full time children, then two children every other week, plus three before and after school kids. So I have no contracts and I dont get paid if their not here. But how come parents call in sick with me knowing I dont get paid for that day and then I lose a days pay but im not allowed....
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MommyofThree 09:49 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
I never lie, its wrong and I don't do it.

It comes at personal sacrafice of making everyone in my life happy and sometimes they think I am 'mean' but I never lie.

I am an adult with nothing to hide and I see no reason for it.
I highly doubt it, but ok....
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laundrymom 09:58 AM 10-26-2011
Lying about being ill is dishonest. I've never done it. I think it is a very disrespectful and unprofessional thing to do. When someone does it the whole face of home providers is harmed. It reinforces the idea that home providers are unreliable and dishonest. Most are not. But just as one bad apple can ruin a bushel, one dishonest home provider makes us ALL look bad.

This isn't a glamorous or high recognition job. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have to tell my family NO so I can do my job. But that was my choice, I made it when I stood up and said, " I am a childcare provider".

If you choose not to make advance preperation, and fail to have a backup for a non emergency, then lie about being ill. That's sooo uncool.

You could have contacted the school, spoke to the teacher, explaining your job, but asking them to keep you up to the minute informed on all activities. I guarantee they decided months ago on when this day would be. Funds had to be allocated, resources and schedules planned for. They may not send notices out but a week in advance but you can bet they planned this awhile ago. You have to be proactive about things when you own your own business you can't just wait for the information, you have to anticipate it and actively find these kinds of things out.
I have 4 kids from college sophomore to 5th grade and I LOOK for ways to be involved in their school. I don't wait for the invitation. I don't have that luxury.

If I was a parent, and this happened to me,... I would find a new provider with NO NOTICE. I would ask my deposit be returned and my two week notice be forfeited. If refused I would take provider to small claims.

Faking illness to close because provider wanted to do something else? That's so disrespectful, unprofessional and a serious risk to my own job.

And as for not being supportive? Lol,.... Why would I support behavior I don't believe in?


Be HONEST. Tell your parents you got notice that they were doing such and such on friday and you would like to go. You can credit them their fees but it's important to you.

Try the honest route. It might surprise you.
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MsMe 10:00 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
I highly doubt it, but ok....
it was a choice I made a few years ago....much like quitting smoking or drinking.


It was hard at first to not tell white lies, but now it keeps me accoutable. It is just something that is important to me. I honestly can't think of a reason to lie.
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laundrymom 10:01 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
no, im a sahm who watches two full time children, then two children every other week, plus three before and after school kids. So I have no contracts and I dont get paid if their not here. But how come parents call in sick with me knowing I dont get paid for that day and then I lose a days pay but im not allowed....
That is your own choice, if you choose to not have contracts, not require slot based tuition, you choose to lose out.
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jessrlee 10:02 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
no, im a sahm who watches two full time children, then two children every other week, plus three before and after school kids. So I have no contracts and I dont get paid if their not here. But how come parents call in sick with me knowing I dont get paid for that day and then I lose a days pay but im not allowed....
If you are so hell bent on the idea just do it. Don't ask someone here to give you permission to do something wrong.
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MommyofThree 10:05 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lying about being ill is dishonest. I've never done it. I think it is a very disrespectful and unprofessional thing to do. When someone does it the whole face of home providers is harmed. It reinforces the idea that home providers are unreliable and dishonest. Most are not. But just as one bad apple can ruin a bushel, one dishonest home provider makes us ALL look bad.

This isn't a glamorous or high recognition job. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have to tell my family NO so I can do my job. But that was my choice, I made it when I stood up and said, " I am a childcare provider".

If you choose not to make advance preperation, and fail to have a backup for a non emergency, then lie about being ill. That's sooo uncool.

You could have contacted the school, spoke to the teacher, explaining your job, but asking them to keep you up to the minute informed on all activities. I guarantee they decided months ago on when this day would be. Funds had to be allocated, resources and schedules planned for. They may not send notices out but a week in advance but you can bet they planned this awhile ago. You have to be proactive about things when you own your own business you can't just wait for the information, you have to anticipate it and actively find these kinds of things out.
I have 4 kids from college sophomore to 5th grade and I LOOK for ways to be involved in their school. I don't wait for the invitation. I don't have that luxury.

If I was a parent, and this happened to me,... I would find a new provider with NO NOTICE. I would ask my deposit be returned and my two week notice be forfeited. If refused I would take provider to small claims.

Faking illness to close because provider wanted to do something else? That's so disrespectful, unprofessional and a serious risk to my own job.

And as for not being supportive? Lol,.... Why would I support behavior I don't believe in?


Be HONEST. Tell your parents you got notice that they were doing such and such on friday and you would like to go. You can credit them their fees but it's important to you.

Try the honest route. It might surprise you.
yep and this is the type of thing that the unregister person was talking about.. wow name calling, thats not cool
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MommyofThree 10:07 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by jessrlee:
If you are so hell bent on the idea just do it. Don't ask someone here to give you permission to do something wrong.
lol wow thanks:} that is why others have left ..... I ask a simple question and you come out with this.... lol lol
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MsMe 10:08 AM 10-26-2011
what part of laundrymoms post was incorrect? or name calling?
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laundrymom 10:10 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
yep and this is the type of thing that the unregister person was talking about.. wow name calling, thats not cool
Well I reread my entire post and can't see where I called you a name. I said it was dishonest, disrespectful, and unprofessional. Which is the truth. Not name calling.
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snbauser 10:10 AM 10-26-2011
Ultimately, it is your business and your decision. Would I do it? No. I would schedule a day off as far as I could in advance, even if it is only a week. It's better than telling them the night before or morning of that you are sick. I also would not ask their permission to take a day off, I would tell them I am closed that day. They don't even need to know why other than simply a personal reason. Parents who have their children in an in-home care NEED to have back up care available and that should be made clear during the initial interview.
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sharlan 10:13 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
what part of laundrymoms post was incorrect? or name calling?
I was trying to figure out the same thing. I am another one who won't lie to a parent.
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MommyofThree 10:13 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
Hi so im calling in sick fri because I would like to voulenteer at my kids school carving pumpkins. Plus I took off on halloween. I never do things at my childrens school because dc has taken over my life:{ I looking for another job but for the time being this is all I have to make money besides my dh job.



Has anybody just called in sick just because and what did you tell the parents and were they upset???? Thanks
I just want to know from those that had done it....
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laundrymom 10:14 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
lol wow thanks:} that is why others have left ..... I ask a simple question and you come out with this.... lol lol
You asked if we ever lied about being sick, to get a day off. And we all answered honestly. Now you are upset because we don't share your view on the subject.

If honesty is the reason people leave this board,.... Lol then Whoo hoo for honesty!! Lol
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MsMe 10:15 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
I just want to know from those that had done it....
I think you maybe looking for validation that you are not going to get.....is their anyway to set up an annomous poll? You may have better luck that way.
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mom2many 10:26 AM 10-26-2011
I have never called in sick when I wasn't. In 25 years, there have only been a few times that I've been too sick to be open for business and had to call parents at the last minute. If I have a cold or headache, I will continue on with my job. I just always feel bad about inconveniencing them on short notice.

However, I will take a day off now and then for personal business, but I always try to give them at least 2 weeks notice. Thankfully the parents all have back up care, so it's never been an issue for me to be gone.

I can totally understand not wanting to miss out on your child's activities and if it were me, I would explain to the parents in advance that something has come up and you will be closed. They may not be happy, but at least they will have some advance notice to make other arrangements.
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MommyofThree 10:34 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
You asked if we ever lied about being sick, to get a day off. And we all answered honestly. Now you are upset because we don't share your view on the subject.

If honesty is the reason people leave this board,.... Lol then Whoo hoo for honesty!! Lol
no not upset. I would like to hear from people that maybe did it. sorry my op was misworderd. I am actually taking somebodys idea and writting the parents a letter:}
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MommyofThree 10:36 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by mom2many:
I have never called in sick when I wasn't. In 25 years, there have only been a few times that I've been too sick to be open for business and had to call parents at the last minute. If I have a cold or headache, I will continue on with my job. I just always feel bad about inconveniencing them on short notice.

However, I will take a day off now and then for personal business, but I always try to give them at least 2 weeks notice. Thankfully the parents all have back up care, so it's never been an issue for me to be gone.

I can totally understand not wanting to miss out on your child's activities and if it were me, I would explain to the parents in advance that something has come up and you will be closed. They may not be happy, but at least they will have some advance notice to make other arrangements.
good idea. Do you think if I gave out letters tonight about fri would be kind of a notice so they may look for alternitive care?
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MommyofThree 10:38 AM 10-26-2011
also mom2many is not being rude about it. She is guiding me on what to do. Thats good support.
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AnythingsPossible 10:45 AM 10-26-2011
I've never called in sick when I wasn't, I have however closed on short notice. I have just told parents I have had something come up and I will be unable to provide care for you on Friday. They don't need to know why. I do have people that say well what am I going to do, or oh no what should I do, and I gently remind them that it is a part of home daycare. We do not have a back up, so if something comes up and we have to close, they need to have a back up. If they don't take the responsibility to find one, that is not my problem.

I would just tell them at pick up tonight that you won't be available friday.
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MsMe 10:48 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.
I have not read a single post on this thread that 'chewed you out' for your question.

Even 'unregistered' told you not to lie.

Noone here told you NOT to do it, just that maybe you could try to give a littel notice.
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laundrymom 10:48 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
no not upset. I would like to hear from people that maybe did it. sorry my op was misworderd. I am actually taking somebodys idea and writting the parents a letter:}
That was advice more than just mom2many gave, seems like most of us thought that was the thing to do. But props to mom2many!!! She does have good advice a lot!!
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mom2many 10:57 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
good idea. Do you think if I gave out letters tonight about fri would be kind of a notice so they may look for alternitive care?
I would definitely do this. At least they will have time tonight to make other arrangements and it won't catch them off guard completely.
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snowball 11:09 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by :
It always amazes me at the amount of people on here who SAY they are always supportive, but you ask a simple question and get chewed out for it.

I would say just take the day off if you need it. It is YOUR business. YOU can do what you want. That is why you're in business for yourself. I wouldn't say you're sick. Just tell them something came up and that you need the day off. Give them a refund for the day and leave it at that. Chances are, they have personal time with their work or they have a backup. If not, they should have planned better for the occasional situation like this.
I agree with this!

I actually WOULD call in sick.

You can't tell me that parents don't ake "me" days, so why would a provider be any different?

Not only that but the reason many of us do this job, is to stay home with our own kids. This provider wants to do something special with "her" child. I say go for it. In 10 years you won't remember each of your daycare kids but you WILL remember doing something special with YOUR child.
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Blackcat31 11:12 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by snowball:
I agree with this!

I actually WOULD call in sick.

You can't tell me that parents don't ake "me" days, so why would a provider be any different?
Not only that but the reason many of us do this job, is to stay home with our own kids. This provider wants to do something special with "her" child. I say go for it. In 10 years you won't remember each of your daycare kids but you WILL remember doing something special with YOUR child.
Like I tell my daycare kids, "Just because some one else does something doesn't mean it is right."

OP, just be honest. Take the day off. Tell the parents at pick up tonight and let the cards fall where they may. Spend the day with your child if that is what you want to do.
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godiva83 11:17 AM 10-26-2011
I agree that from time to time it is important to take 'me' or 'family' days but I would try my best to do them with warning. I think if you do this with out warning you will seem unreliable and unprofessional. I hope the letter works out and your DCF's are understanding. Enjoy your day to the fullest
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MsMe 11:21 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by snowball:
I agree with this!

I actually WOULD call in sick.

You can't tell me that parents don't ake "me" days, so why would a provider be any different?
Not only that but the reason many of us do this job, is to stay home with our own kids. This provider wants to do something special with "her" child. I say go for it. In 10 years you won't remember each of your daycare kids but you WILL remember doing something special with YOUR child.
No one is saying that she doesn't deserve 'me' days or that she shouldnt take them, just that she should give notice for them.

Not every parent that takes a day off is playing hookey, they plan and take PTO. I highly doubt that anyone of their co-workers would encourage them to lie when they have the option to take time off. Even if they did their day off has less of an impact than a daycare providers sudden/no notice day off. being someones full time daycare provider (contract or no contract) is a BIG responsiblity, if you don't want it maybe you could try doing only part-time care?
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hoopinglady 11:28 AM 10-26-2011
I think if you feel attacked, maybe others feel a bit personally offended.

Even though, yes it is good to have a back up plan as a parent, many don't. It's good business to be very reliable as has been said.

I know I have worked MANY a day when I could have been doing something more fun.....worked through burn out, PMS, colds, headaches, heartaches, on and on.

Also, something I've learned is that support is not always about agreeing with you. Sometimes you need to hear that you are being irresponsible...it helps you grow as a person if you're able to swallow your pride and hear what people (with no ill intentions and more experience) have to say.

I personally am jealous. I need a day off, lol.

Enjoy yourself either way.
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MommyofThree 11:34 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible:
I've never called in sick when I wasn't, I have however closed on short notice. I have just told parents I have had something come up and I will be unable to provide care for you on Friday. They don't need to know why. I do have people that say well what am I going to do, or oh no what should I do, and I gently remind them that it is a part of home daycare. We do not have a back up, so if something comes up and we have to close, they need to have a back up. If they don't take the responsibility to find one, that is not my problem.

I would just tell them at pick up tonight that you won't be available friday.
thank you. I will do this. I will inform them tonight
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MommyofThree 11:35 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
I have not read a single post on this thread that 'chewed you out' for your question.

Even 'unregistered' told you not to lie.

Noone here told you NOT to do it, just that maybe you could try to give a littel notice.
um re read unregister post. She stated that!!!!!!
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Michael 11:37 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by MsMe:
I think you maybe looking for validation that you are not going to get.....is their anyway to set up an annomous poll? You may have better luck that way.
A poll has been included on the first page. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36191
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MommyofThree 11:38 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by snowball:
I agree with this!

I actually WOULD call in sick.

You can't tell me that parents don't ake "me" days, so why would a provider be any different?

Not only that but the reason many of us do this job, is to stay home with our own kids. This provider wants to do something special with "her" child. I say go for it. In 10 years you won't remember each of your daycare kids but you WILL remember doing something special with YOUR child.
aww Thanks. your right my children comes before any other person
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MommyofThree 11:42 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
A poll has been included on the first page. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=36191
Could you?That will be great Michael
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Cat Herder 11:48 AM 10-26-2011
I can't vote in the poll because it does not address the part about not giving notice, lying about it or the fact that she if off Monday, too.

It is not that simple of a topic. YKWIM?
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Unregistered 11:48 AM 10-26-2011
I understand not wanting to miss out on your child's school activities, OP, I really do. Unfortunately, that is something that happens unless back up plans are made or parents are given enough notice prior to that day.

I only close for illness if I have to. I have separate areas for daycare and personal use so as long as I can avoid contact with the dcks and my assistant is available, then I can isolate myself and get rest and the parents don't have to figure out other arrangements. If it's my own child that's sick, then that changes things. She doesn't typically need one on one attention when she's sick, but if she did, then I would close. She prefers to not be bothered if she's sick so it usually works out fine. She's a teenager so it's easier to manage.

OP, if you don't want to be open tomorrow, then don't be, but you have to understand that you'll most likely have angry daycare parents. It'll be worse in the long run if you use illness as an excuse so I would strongly recommend telling the parents the truth or if you don't want to tell them the truth, then don't give them a reason. If you get busted in a lie, you run the risk of having your families not trust you when you really are legitimately sick. They may start shopping around if they don't know if they can depend on you.

I know that it might seem like posters are picking on you, but I don't think that anyone is intent on giving you grief. The fact that so many people responded with advice shows that their intentions are good. If you are looking for anyone to tell you that it's OK to handle it by lying to the parents, then I think that you might be out of luck. We all understand what you're feeling right now because I'll bet that we've all felt like you are feeling before. This isn't an easy job to have when your own children have activities that you have to miss. You're preaching to the choir. We understand it all too well.

If you can, hire an assistant to cover for you when your kids have activities going on that you don't want to miss. If you can't, then try to give the parents enough advance notice so that they can make other arrangements for that day. Also keep in mind that if the situation were reversed, how would you react? Just please, please, please don't lie to the parents because if they catch you in a lie, they may not believe you in the future. Trust is too important in the parent/provider relationship.
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MommyofThree 11:54 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I can't vote in the poll because it does not address the part about not giving notice, lying about it or the fact that she if off Monday, too.

It is not that simple of a topic. YKWIM?
lol wow lol
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MommyofThree 11:57 AM 10-26-2011
FYI who cares about monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the parents have off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Michael 11:57 AM 10-26-2011
The poll only gives so much room for a topic title. I think I generalized as simply as possible.
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sharlan 11:59 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
FYI who cares about monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the parents have off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do the parents all have Monday off?
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Blackcat31 11:59 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
lol wow lol
OP, what is it exactly that you want other providers to tell you?

I am not trying to be rude or disrespectful but I am so NOT understanding what it is you want to hear from everyone.

Most every single person said

DON'T lie
Take the day off if you want
Notify the parents.


What is wrong with any of that?

I am so confused......
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MommyofThree 12:02 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Why do the parents all have Monday off?
Because they have young children that they want to do things that day with them so they took off. Like I said I only have the two so when they took off I was like yay. lol
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AmandasFCC 12:03 PM 10-26-2011
I've done it, however I was honest and said what I was doing. I knew that the parents I had on a particular day weren't actually working so I was honest and said, (you're gonna laugh, this is such a silly reason) ....

"We've been in talks with the SPCA in **** (town 3 hours away) about a particular dog they have for adoption and if we don't get there ASAP we'll lose her. She's such a great dog, and being that I have the daycare, I of course would like to be the one to go and check her out to ensure her temperament would be appropriate around the kids .... So if you don't have any pressing plans tomorrow, would you be ok if I took the day off to drive up to see her, with a credit for one day for next month?"

All were fine, and off my daughter and I went to pick up my beautiful fur-baby!
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MommyofThree 12:06 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
OP, what is it exactly that you want other providers to tell you?
  • that it is ok to lie to the parents about being sick?
  • that it is okay to take the day off for your dd?
  • that you can do what you want and feel justified?
  • that no one understands or supports you?
I am not trying to be rude or disrespectful but I am so NOT understanding what it is you want to hear from everyone.

Most every single person said

DON'T lie
Take the day off if you want
Notify the parents.

What is wrong with any of that?

I am so confused......
One, nothing is wrong with those . U were very rude I thought about you cant vote because so and so..... I thought alot of people gave me good advise and I thank those people and I stated I will use those so im confused now... I am not calling in sick I am sending out letters tonight. Also um ya it is ok to take the day off for my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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MommyofThree 12:09 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by AmandasFCC:
I've done it, however I was honest and said what I was doing. I knew that the parents I had on a particular day weren't actually working so I was honest and said, (you're gonna laugh, this is such a silly reason) ....

"We've been in talks with the SPCA in **** (town 3 hours away) about a particular dog they have for adoption and if we don't get there ASAP we'll lose her. She's such a great dog, and being that I have the daycare, I of course would like to be the one to go and check her out to ensure her temperament would be appropriate around the kids .... So if you don't have any pressing plans tomorrow, would you be ok if I took the day off to drive up to see her, with a credit for one day for next month?"

All were fine, and off my daughter and I went to pick up my beautiful fur-baby!
see again this is good advise!!!!!!!!!!!! not rude or judgemental. I will offer one day of free daycare as well:}
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Blackcat31 12:10 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
one nothing is wrong with those . u were very rude I thought about you cant vote because so and so..... I thought alot of people gave me good advise and I thank those people and I stated I will use those so im confused now... I am not calling in sick I am sending out letters tonight. Also um ya it is ok to take the day off for my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was I rude? I haven't said anything about not taking the time off. I said to take the time off if you want but just tell the parents. I was not rude about anything.
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Cat Herder 12:12 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
One, nothing is wrong with those . U were very rude I thought about you cant vote because so and so..... I thought alot of people gave me good advise and I thank those people and I stated I will use those so im confused now... I am not calling in sick I am sending out letters tonight. Also um ya it is ok to take the day off for my girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was me...and I stand by it.

It was a comment about the practicality of the poll for the topic at hand.

I already told you how I felt about your original post on page one.
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Crazy8 12:13 PM 10-26-2011
If you want to be in this business for the long run DO NOT take the day when you are already closing for Monday. Since you say this is temporary and you don't seem happy anyway go ahead and take the day but send the note home with parents TODAY saying you will be closed on Friday. Don't even care if you don't give a reason but I wouldn't lie about it. If they get mad so what? You obviously aren't happy with the job/clients you have.

Personally in 10 years of doing home daycare I have NEVER just called in sick for no reason. I've very RARELY "called in" sick at all actually and I've never lied about the reason - once this year I can remember is because my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and I was at the hospital at 6am. I called all clients and I would have gone home if any of them absolutely needed me but they all told me not to worry about them - to be with my family. That is the kind of thing that makes this job worth it.

I don't think you are going to get many to tell you to go ahead and lie and leave families in a lerch on Friday morning. Whether anyone has told a fib in the past or not isn't really the point. That's just not how we do business if we want to stay in business. You know now, so why not tell them now and just face the concequences of your decision???
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Kaddidle Care 12:31 PM 10-26-2011
I see you have a poll now. I really can't answer either way. Just wish you had planned for this a little more in advance. Being tied down is one of the downfalls of doing Childcare in your home.

I hope it works out OK - I'm just afraid you're going to get caught in a lie.
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B Lou 12:54 PM 10-26-2011
I say take the day off but be honest with your parents. I tell all parents during interview that the reason I got into doing daycare was because I have 3 children( all adults now) that are very active in school. And I want to be able to attend their things. So from time to time I will be closed. I will give as much notice as possible so they can be prepared for this. As your child sounds young I would inform your parents that from time to time you will need to take time off for your child as well. If they are caring parents, which we would hope they would be, they will be very understanding. So just be honest with them. Good luck and have a great time carving pumpkins with your child.
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MommyofThree 12:58 PM 10-26-2011
I now thinking I should write letters stating that fri I need to close no later by two and have parents take half days unless they want to find alternative care.. how does that one sound?
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Kaddidle Care 01:09 PM 10-26-2011
Don't count on them leaving on time. You know how that goes.
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MommyofThree 01:11 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Don't count on them leaving on time. You know how that goes.
Oh ya that is very true.
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mom2many 01:13 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
I now thinking I should write letters stating that fri I need to close no later by two and have parents take half days unless they want to find aternitive care.. how does that one sound?
I think that is a good compromise.
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daycare 01:23 PM 10-26-2011
I know a lot of us come on here for validation of our feelings or to see if we are the only ones that do certain things or feel certain ways about DC issues.

Honestly, its your company, you do what is best for YOU and YOUR family.

Personally, I would not close with such short notice, but that is just me.

However, if you decide to close, be prepared that some parents may be a little upset that you are giving such short notice.

Especially if any of them find out why.

I understand and so do parents that life happens out of our control sometimes. LIke when my son broke his leg. I had to close early with one day notice so taht I could take him back to the hospital to have the cast put on. But i explained myself and the parents understood. I have also never closed for illness, when I do close it is with great notice..

I hope that it all works out for you and that you and your daughter get that quality time. Turst me I have missed out on A LOT because of DC. But I never forget that everyday at any time I get to pick up my little man and squeeze the heck out of him.....I look around my DCroom at all of the other kids and realize just how lucky my child and I are. They don't get to hug there mommy and daddy for hours on end..

Happy Halloween!
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CheekyChick 01:28 PM 10-26-2011
I would just be honest and tell them you are in dire need of a day off and apologize profusely for the short notice. I wouldn't tell them you were sick as they might see you out and about. To prevent total burnout, I would hire an assistant who can fill in for your when your children have special parties/activities that you don't want to miss. That way, you are putting your children first without giving up on your entire business. EVERYONE needs a break now and then or they would crack. You deserve that too.
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nannyde 02:53 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How was I rude? I haven't said anything about not taking the time off. I said to take the time off if you want but just tell the parents. I was not rude about anything.
Oh that was Cat that was rude.

I swear I don't even KNOW what the limit is here for what people will post and expect "support". I don't even know what the word support means anymore.

I think you should expect another naptime call to give me that free therapy session again.

I need some support
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grandmom 02:55 PM 10-26-2011
Sounds to me, by the lack of providers admitting they've called in sick, that either they haven't done it, or they're ashamed of it now that they've lied to their customers.

Count me with MsMe and laundrymom. Your words are truth.
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Blackcat31 03:05 PM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Oh that was Cat that was rude.

I swear I don't even KNOW what the limit is here for what people will post and expect "support". I don't even know what the word support means anymore.

I think you should expect another naptime call to give me that free therapy session again.

I need some support
ABSOLUTELY!!!!! My couch is wide open! (That sounds bad doesn't t?!!?! )

....and Cat was absolutely NOT rude. (At least not by my standards) I actually quoted her post because I was going to say "My thoughts exactly about not being able to vote" but got carried away with wondering just what the heck the correct response was suppose to be. Heck, I didn't even understand the question I guess.

I mean if people expect a specific response then just tell me the words and I will post them. If they want my opinion well, that varies from day to day....
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WImom 05:21 PM 10-26-2011
I miss alot of stuff at my kids school if they don't give enough notice. It does suck. But I wouldn't close unless I was really sick or gave parents notice. (I try for 6-7 days notice).

I do take off about 4 times a year for school events and I'll sometimes email the teachers to find out what's coming up so I have plenty of time.

I also try to remember things I may have missed from child #1 and can do it with child #2 because I know it's coming up and can ask off. Hubby goes to most things I can't but sometimes if it's just a short thing in the middle of the day we have to miss it.

Is this in the afternoon where you could do a 1/2 day or a 1/2 day where you open late if it's in the morning? Maybe that would help the parents with the short notice?
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e.j. 11:34 AM 10-27-2011
Have you considered buying a pumpkin and carving it with your dd after the day care kids leave on Friday? That way, you're spending one-on-one time with your own child, having fun with her and still providing day care to the families who are relying on you. My own kids loved "do-overs" at home, especially something they really enjoyed doing the first time around.

I know it's not the same as being there at the school with her but it is a way of sharing some fun with your dd while still honoring your agreement with the day care parents to care for their kids. Just a thought. Good luck with whatever you decided to do.
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Unregistered 11:36 AM 10-27-2011
Originally Posted by melissathayer28:
I just want to know from those that had done it....
we don't do it!!! We are providers........we provide services, not when we feel like it.

I am the one that stays unregistered because I don't want this bull.....but I agree be professional so you don't give all of us a bad name as a whole. If you have a policy book that states that you take 3 personal days a year, give a two week notice that you will be doing this and be honest why your taking a day. You can tell them your taking a personal day or you tell them why... but be ready...... if I found out my provider was taking a day off to go to school and volunteer I would irritated because I count on her to be there so I can work and pay her.

I feel your wrong to do this- not cool you asked and you got my response, take it or leave it. Let us know what you decide- curious to see how this pans out. Personally my advise to you is........do the right thing!!!
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dEHmom 11:43 AM 10-27-2011
I didn't read everyones posts, just the OP. I'm sure it's already been said though.

I don't think it's right to do that. I understand you wanting to, but I don't think it's right.

What you could do, but now it's probably too late, is just ask the parents, if it would be possible to find alternate care, and refund them for the day if it works out for you because you have something you need to do. This should've been done a minimum of 1-2 weeks ago though.

Sorry, I don't think it's right to bail on the parents like this, especially last minute. If it was a booked day off, that's different then calling in sick for it. Kwim?
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Tags:burnout, burnt out, call in sick, drama, entitlement, honesty, lie, overwhelmed, reputation, sick days
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