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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Worried About 2 Year Old Not Adjusting-It's Been 7 Months
littlemommy 08:09 AM 10-27-2011
and he still SCREAMS at arrival. I've told mom to make drops offs quick and be positive, and she carries him in with a mopey face, sets him down and talks like she's crying. I'm sure he's feeding off of her negative energy.

I've tried having activities out, having the other kids reading, having other kids not in the room, playing upbeat music, ect. but nothing seems to phase it. She sets him down and says bye all sad like, then walks out and I shut the door. I take his coat and shoes off and he's SCREAMING in my face. There's been a few times where he kicks and hits me.

I'm due in January, and am worried about him coming in screaming and waking my baby. I'm not meaning to sound selfish, but I have a smaller house and he screams so loud!! Does anyone have ideas that I haven't tried?
Zoe 08:40 AM 10-27-2011
This may sound silly but have you tried a firm "no" when he's screaming in your face like that?
cheerfuldom 09:49 AM 10-27-2011
can you do the exchange right at the door and not let her come in at all?
Ariana 09:50 AM 10-27-2011
Sounds to me like mom is getting off on her son freaking out like this. I would remind her to keep drop off positive and short. Also is there a window he can look out of to wave goodbye? This works all the time for me, both when I worked at a centre and now at home. It comforts them to stand and wave bye. I'll say "ok bye mom, we'll wave at the window" kind of as a hint to mom to leave more than anything!!
nannyde 09:58 AM 10-27-2011
First... if a kid raised their hand to me once they would leave that day. I don't play that. Never had it happen in 32 years. They KNOW better than to get physical with me.

If you are willing to work thru it... which I would NOT be willing to do it... then go to the Buh Bye Outside program. The Mom and kid need to do their separation act together and ALONE outside. Have them stand for hours if they need to hugging and crying... but do NOT allow her to bring that into your house for one second.

Maybe put a cryin bench out there... complete with sad yellow smiley face guys and big blue teardrops going down the sides of the bench. Have the two of them hug and bawl for as long as they need to...

Then she knocks on the door ONLY when they are done doing their good bye cry and you open the door... bring him in quickly... and shut the door. Reverse for departures.
Tags:adjusting, adjusting to daycare, adjustment period
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