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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Got Notice Today
misol 10:20 PM 09-13-2010
So, the mom of 2 boys gave me notice today. This was the first time a family has given me notice. It's bittersweet because I need the money like nobody's business but I was going to term them anyway once I found replacements. I have been having behavior issues with 3yo dcb since day one and recently his 14mo brother has has been copying the bad behavior of the older brother (screaming, throwing, hitting, spitting, saying no, etc.) I have already had it with the older boy's antics and definitely cannot take BOTH of them acting like that.
Now rewind back to last Friday. Mom comes in and tells me that dcb3 told her that I spanked him. (Nothing can be further from the truth.) She said she didn't believe it was true but thought she should ask me about it since he said it more than once that night. I said "Really, I'm surprised that he would say that because I never have and never would hit him or any dck." She said I know, I don't know where he got that from or why he said that. I said "Maybe he was referring to me spanking DD (2yo)? Her eyes widened and she was like "OH?" I said yes, the other day DD was misbehaving and after trying other solutions I told her that the next step was going to be a spanking. She seemed shocked and appalled. So I explained to her that DH and I use spanking as a last resort but we do spank our own children if it becomes necessary . I assured her that while DCB may have heard me threaten the spanking, he has not ever witnessed (or even heard) me spank either of my kids. After I stated my position she told me that spanking is a personal decision and they their family chooses not to (which is QUITE obvious from the boys' behavior). She babbles on and on about how they never wanted their kids to even hear the word spank, etc. etc. The conversation was getting long and I needed to get back to the kids but I told her if she wanted to discuss the matter further, we could do that at a later time. She said that she didn't want to so that was that. I don't think that she believed that I hit her son but I do think that she was very surprised to learn that I believe in spanking. The conversation left us both with a sour taste in our mouths. This was Friday. Monday she gave me notice.
The reason she gave was that they could not afford to continue fulltime care for the boys while she is out of work. She has a job where once she finishes up a project, she is out of work until another project is available - could be days could be weeks. She said that she was giving me notice to cover her butt in case she doesn't get called back to work for the next two weeks. She was implying that if she gets a call in the next week or so that she would withdraw her notice but I'm not sure I believe that. Now granted, she asked me for a price break a few weeks ago but before I got back to her with an answer, she was back working again so it became a non-issue. I can't help but wonder if this is more about me spanking my kids than it is about her not working.
Now rewind back to last Friday. Mom comes in and tells me that dcb3 told her that I spanked him. (Nothing can be further from the truth.) She said she didn't believe it was true but thought she should ask me about it since he said it more than once that night. I said "Really, I'm surprised that he would say that because I never have and never would hit him or any dck." She said I know, I don't know where he got that from or why he said that. I said "Maybe he was referring to me spanking DD (2yo)? Her eyes widened and she was like "OH?" I said yes, the other day DD was misbehaving and after trying other solutions I told her that the next step was going to be a spanking. She seemed shocked and appalled. So I explained to her that DH and I use spanking as a last resort but we do spank our own children if it becomes necessary . I assured her that while DCB may have heard me threaten the spanking, he has not ever witnessed (or even heard) me spank either of my kids. After I stated my position she told me that spanking is a personal decision and they their family chooses not to (which is QUITE obvious from the boys' behavior). She babbles on and on about how they never wanted their kids to even hear the word spank, etc. etc. The conversation was getting long and I needed to get back to the kids but I told her if she wanted to discuss the matter further, we could do that at a later time. She said that she didn't want to so that was that. I don't think that she believed that I hit her son but I do think that she was very surprised to learn that I believe in spanking. The conversation left us both with a sour taste in our mouths. This was Friday. Monday she gave me notice.
The reason she gave was that they could not afford to continue fulltime care for the boys while she is out of work. She has a job where once she finishes up a project, she is out of work until another project is available - could be days could be weeks. She said that she was giving me notice to cover her butt in case she doesn't get called back to work for the next two weeks. She was implying that if she gets a call in the next week or so that she would withdraw her notice but I'm not sure I believe that. Now granted, she asked me for a price break a few weeks ago but before I got back to her with an answer, she was back working again so it became a non-issue. I can't help but wonder if this is more about me spanking my kids than it is about her not working.
Michael 01:33 AM 09-14-2010
Some older posts on notice: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=notice
momofboys 04:38 AM 09-14-2010
Originally Posted by misol:
So, the mom of 2 boys gave me notice today. This was the first time a family has given me notice. It's bittersweet because I need the money like nobody's business but I was going to term them anyway once I found replacements. I have been having behavior issues with 3yo dcb since day one and recently his 14mo brother has has been copying the bad behavior of the older brother (screaming, throwing, hitting, spitting, saying no, etc.) I have already had it with the older boy's antics and definitely cannot take BOTH of them acting like that.
Now rewind back to last Friday. Mom comes in and tells me that dcb3 told her that I spanked him. (Nothing can be further from the truth.) She said she didn't believe it was true but thought she should ask me about it since he said it more than once that night. I said "Really, I'm surprised that he would say that because I never have and never would hit him or any dck." She said I know, I don't know where he got that from or why he said that. I said "Maybe he was referring to me spanking DD (2yo)? Her eyes widened and she was like "OH?" I said yes, the other day DD was misbehaving and after trying other solutions I told her that the next step was going to be a spanking. She seemed shocked and appalled. So I explained to her that DH and I use spanking as a last resort but we do spank our own children if it becomes necessary . I assured her that while DCB may have heard me threaten the spanking, he has not ever witnessed (or even heard) me spank either of my kids. After I stated my position she told me that spanking is a personal decision and they their family chooses not to (which is QUITE obvious from the boys' behavior). She babbles on and on about how they never wanted their kids to even hear the word spank, etc. etc. The conversation was getting long and I needed to get back to the kids but I told her if she wanted to discuss the matter further, we could do that at a later time. She said that she didn't want to so that was that. I don't think that she believed that I hit her son but I do think that she was very surprised to learn that I believe in spanking. The conversation left us both with a sour taste in our mouths. This was Friday. Monday she gave me notice.
The reason she gave was that they could not afford to continue fulltime care for the boys while she is out of work. She has a job where once she finishes up a project, she is out of work until another project is available - could be days could be weeks. She said that she was giving me notice to cover her butt in case she doesn't get called back to work for the next two weeks. She was implying that if she gets a call in the next week or so that she would withdraw her notice but I'm not sure I believe that. Now granted, she asked me for a price break a few weeks ago but before I got back to her with an answer, she was back working again so it became a non-issue. I can't help but wonder if this is more about me spanking my kids than it is about her not working.
I'm sorry! But it sounds like maybe it's for the best, especially if the boys have terrible behavior. I hope you can find someone else quickly to replace them!So, the mom of 2 boys gave me notice today. This was the first time a family has given me notice. It's bittersweet because I need the money like nobody's business but I was going to term them anyway once I found replacements. I have been having behavior issues with 3yo dcb since day one and recently his 14mo brother has has been copying the bad behavior of the older brother (screaming, throwing, hitting, spitting, saying no, etc.) I have already had it with the older boy's antics and definitely cannot take BOTH of them acting like that.
Now rewind back to last Friday. Mom comes in and tells me that dcb3 told her that I spanked him. (Nothing can be further from the truth.) She said she didn't believe it was true but thought she should ask me about it since he said it more than once that night. I said "Really, I'm surprised that he would say that because I never have and never would hit him or any dck." She said I know, I don't know where he got that from or why he said that. I said "Maybe he was referring to me spanking DD (2yo)? Her eyes widened and she was like "OH?" I said yes, the other day DD was misbehaving and after trying other solutions I told her that the next step was going to be a spanking. She seemed shocked and appalled. So I explained to her that DH and I use spanking as a last resort but we do spank our own children if it becomes necessary . I assured her that while DCB may have heard me threaten the spanking, he has not ever witnessed (or even heard) me spank either of my kids. After I stated my position she told me that spanking is a personal decision and they their family chooses not to (which is QUITE obvious from the boys' behavior). She babbles on and on about how they never wanted their kids to even hear the word spank, etc. etc. The conversation was getting long and I needed to get back to the kids but I told her if she wanted to discuss the matter further, we could do that at a later time. She said that she didn't want to so that was that. I don't think that she believed that I hit her son but I do think that she was very surprised to learn that I believe in spanking. The conversation left us both with a sour taste in our mouths. This was Friday. Monday she gave me notice.
The reason she gave was that they could not afford to continue fulltime care for the boys while she is out of work. She has a job where once she finishes up a project, she is out of work until another project is available - could be days could be weeks. She said that she was giving me notice to cover her butt in case she doesn't get called back to work for the next two weeks. She was implying that if she gets a call in the next week or so that she would withdraw her notice but I'm not sure I believe that. Now granted, she asked me for a price break a few weeks ago but before I got back to her with an answer, she was back working again so it became a non-issue. I can't help but wonder if this is more about me spanking my kids than it is about her not working.
Unregistered 04:48 AM 09-14-2010
This sounds exactly like your situation.
Down to the ages and everything.
Do you think this is you?
https://www.mothering.com/discussion....php?t=1261113
Makes the Internet seem like a smaller world.
I like lurking in both of these forums and these two threads seem like they belong together.
Down to the ages and everything.
Do you think this is you?
https://www.mothering.com/discussion....php?t=1261113
Makes the Internet seem like a smaller world.
I like lurking in both of these forums and these two threads seem like they belong together.
TGT09 04:51 AM 09-14-2010
Yeah, it doesn't sound like you are too worried about it and neither would I. Spanking IS a personal preference and no one should pass judgement on how you parent your OWN children.
missnikki 06:25 AM 09-14-2010
I hope you are working on your waiting list/ advertising those spots. Would you even consider letting her withdraw her notice? Personally, I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would, but I'd definitely spank her first. (kidding)
MyAngels 07:04 AM 09-14-2010
Sounds like this worked out for the best all around. I'm sure you will find a great family to fill their spots soon and never look back. It's difficult providing care for families that don't share your views on parenting and discipline, whether it affects them directly or not.
misol 07:14 AM 09-14-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
Yeah, it doesn't sound like you are too worried about it and neither would I. Spanking IS a personal preference and no one should pass judgement on how you parent your OWN children.
She was clearly passing judgement. Her facial expressions and body language said it all. I explained to her that there is a clear difference between two swats on a diapered bottom and a beating with a belt. It's more to get their attention than to actually hurt them. I offered to continue the discussion with her at another time but then later decided that if she brought it up again I wasn't going to discuss it further. I was just prepared to tell her that if she thinks it's going to be an issue or that her child is in jeopardy of being spanked then this is no longer a good fit. Yeah, it doesn't sound like you are too worried about it and neither would I. Spanking IS a personal preference and no one should pass judgement on how you parent your OWN children.
I totally respect a parent's decision NOT to spank but I don't respect parents who let their children "run the house." There are some parents (like this one) who think that not spanking means no discipline at all. They have ZERO consequences for his actions and behavior. I have witnessed dcb hit mom several times and she never says or does anything. I had to say something to him in front of her because she certainly wasn't going to do it. The funny thing is that I was planning to have a tallk with her about his behavior and ask her for suggestions because there has been no improvement since they started. Now, after this whole spanking bit, I am totally uncomfortable even having this conversation with her!
Originally Posted by missnikki:
I hope you are working on your waiting list/ advertising those spots. Would you even consider letting her withdraw her notice? Personally, I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would, but I'd definitely spank her first. (kidding)
I wish I had a wait listI hope you are working on your waiting list/ advertising those spots. Would you even consider letting her withdraw her notice? Personally, I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would, but I'd definitely spank her first. (kidding)
I have started advertising with reckless abandon though. At this point I would let her withdraw her notice because I need the money. Once I find someone to fill the spaces they are gone. I am figuring that if she truly thought her children were in danger she would have pulled them immediately especially since she isn't working. And this mom CERTAINLY needs a spanking for letting her kids behave the way that they do
AfterSchoolMom 08:14 AM 09-14-2010
Originally Posted by missnikki:
I hope you are working on your waiting list/ advertising those spots. Would you even consider letting her withdraw her notice? Personally, I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would, but I'd definitely spank her first. (kidding)
I know that this situation isn't funny, but missnikki, I almost spit iced tea all over my computer when I read this! I hope you are working on your waiting list/ advertising those spots. Would you even consider letting her withdraw her notice? Personally, I don't think I would. Well, maybe I would, but I'd definitely spank her first. (kidding)
Misol, it sounds like you're much better off without this family. I hope you can fill their spots quickly.
kidkair 12:29 PM 09-14-2010
I have to say that if I were that parent I would be calling the county and talking to your licensor. Even if you use spanking on your own kids, you are not allowed to spank them or threaten a physical punishment during daycare hours. You have to treat your children the same as you treat the other kids in the daycare during daycare hours. I would have pulled my kids immediately.
MommyMuffin 06:07 AM 09-15-2010
I will receive criticism for this but I will say it anyways.
I was very shocked when I read this thread. I will not hit or spank my child nor anyone else's and I believe that it is wrong, especially coming from people who's job it is to learn ways of dealing with and teaching children right from wrong. There are always alternatives no matter what! Whether it is a "swat" or "spanking"! Its all the same to me..what is the child learning?
Some people think that it is ok and that is their opinion but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents.
I was very shocked when I read this thread. I will not hit or spank my child nor anyone else's and I believe that it is wrong, especially coming from people who's job it is to learn ways of dealing with and teaching children right from wrong. There are always alternatives no matter what! Whether it is a "swat" or "spanking"! Its all the same to me..what is the child learning?
Some people think that it is ok and that is their opinion but I just wanted to put in my 2 cents.