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  #1  
Old 02-06-2017, 07:41 PM
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Default DCM Furious After DCP Breastfed Child Without Permission

WOW! I would be pissed too!

http://www.wfmynews2.com/news/crime/...-son/401386997
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:54 PM
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Wow. I'd have been beyond pissed. NO OFFENSE to those who breastfeed, I TOTALLY support it. However, there is that fringe who feels that all kids MUST be BF, and think that BM cures everything from pimples to cancer, and that mom's who don't BF are cruel to their children. I'm guessing this loon fits into that bunch.

I don't see it as "helping" the child by providing BM, but as a stranger introducing their own bodily fluids into an infant that isn't theirs and that they don't have the right to do so with. I hope that the charges stick-this is WRONG to do after being told no.
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:58 PM
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So many levels of "ew" here...
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Old 02-07-2017, 04:53 AM
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My first thought was "Well there's one thing I won't be accused of!" Sorry- bad joke. The caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.

Why the **** would she think THAT was a good idea? I'm just shaking my head going "Wow". I'm like "I kind of want to hear her explanation but no- not really."
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Old 02-07-2017, 05:02 AM
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Wow. I'd have been beyond pissed. NO OFFENSE to those who breastfeed, I TOTALLY support it. However, there is that fringe who feels that all kids MUST be BF, and think that BM cures everything from pimples to cancer, and that mom's who don't BF are cruel to their children. I'm guessing this loon fits into that bunch.

I don't see it as "helping" the child by providing BM, but as a stranger introducing their own bodily fluids into an infant that isn't theirs and that they don't have the right to do so with. I hope that the charges stick-this is WRONG to do after being told no.
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Old 02-07-2017, 06:57 AM
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My first thought was "Well there's one thing I won't be accused of!" Sorry- bad joke. The caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.
Off to clean my screen now....
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Old 02-07-2017, 07:42 AM
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Good god! Injecting your bodily fluids into somebody else's baby is not a thing to do, even if you WEREN'T threatening that baby's life, as this provider did.
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:09 AM
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Wow....wrong on so many levels.
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Old 02-07-2017, 08:48 AM
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I'm not a mom or even a woman, but even I know that was wrong. So many reasons it was wrong.

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Old 02-07-2017, 11:14 AM
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I'm grossed out. Totally.
I think she absolutely needs charged.
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:15 AM
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Wet nurses, nowadays? No.

WTH was she even thinking to OFFER/ASK? And then to do it anyway?! WTH!
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:34 AM
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Am I the only one that doesn't find this gross? We take milk from a cows utter and drink it all the live long day but don't find that disgusting!

Anyway what she did was wrong but I certainly do not find it gross
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:49 AM
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Am I the only one that doesn't find this gross? We take milk from a cows utter and drink it all the live long day but don't find that disgusting!

Anyway what she did was wrong but I certainly do not find it gross
Whoa there! I don't drink cows milk and think that is udderly (haha) gross and disgusting. I'm weirded out by having to serve it to dcks per food plan regs.

If I weren't vegan...still. When you're breastfeeding you take careful note of what you are eating to deliver appropriate nutrition to your child. Who's to say this worker isn't doing pot and meth at home? Drinking wine and whatever else? Maybe the child has an allergy and that is why no breast milk.

Additonally, breast feeding creates a bond between baby and mother that is so beautiful it shouldn't be replaced by daycare worker. That aspect makes me so steamed for the mom.
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:03 PM
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Actually, yes, the article did state that the child had a lactose intolerance and started vomiting after the care provider breastfed him, so the mom took him to the hospital.
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:23 PM
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Am I the only one that doesn't find this gross? We take milk from a cows utter and drink it all the live long day but don't find that disgusting!

Anyway what she did was wrong but I certainly do not find it gross
I don't find it gross. I think wet nurses, village raising children is awesome. I donated my own breast milk. BUT, I think it needs to be with parent permission. Obviously, that was not the case here.
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Am I the only one that doesn't find this gross? We take milk from a cows utter and drink it all the live long day but don't find that disgusting!

Anyway what she did was wrong but I certainly do not find it gross
I don't find using a wet nurse gross at all, if that's what you choose. I find it abhorrent, however, to nurse a child against a parent's order. That parent has no idea if that person has a communicable disease. It's not OK.
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  #17  
Old 02-07-2017, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Am I the only one that doesn't find this gross? We take milk from a cows utter and drink it all the live long day but don't find that disgusting!

Anyway what she did was wrong but I certainly do not find it gross
The difference is I'm not putting my lips on the cows udders.

The ick factor for me is that she was told NO and did it anyway. Frankly the fact she asked if she could makes me question her judgement. It crosses an obvious line. My breasts were for my baby, though if I had extra milk I would have donated it.
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Old 02-07-2017, 01:46 PM
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I don't find it gross. I think wet nurses, village raising children is awesome. I donated my own breast milk. BUT, I think it needs to be with parent permission. Obviously, that was not the case here.
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Old 02-07-2017, 02:43 PM
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I find it gross in the fact that
1. Stranger.
2. What's in that milk??
3. How clean is that breast?
4. What if the woman used meds that transfer?

So yes. Ewww
I see the importance of a wet nurse. I respect the practice of donating milk.
I do not agree w the caregivers actions.
I would have no problem allowing a friend/sister/cousin etc to nurse my baby. But this lady way overstepped.
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  #20  
Old 02-07-2017, 02:50 PM
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My first thought was "Well there's one thing I won't be accused of!" Sorry- bad joke. The caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.

Why the **** would she think THAT was a good idea? I'm just shaking my head going "Wow". I'm like "I kind of want to hear her explanation but no- not really."
I think you and Mike just gained some new advertising material: "Choose a male provider. We can't breastfeed your baby."
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  #21  
Old 02-07-2017, 02:51 PM
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I think you and Mike just gained some new advertising material: "Choose a male provider. We can't breastfeed your baby."
I'll think about that one.
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  #22  
Old 02-07-2017, 04:57 PM
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"Choose a male provider. We can't breastfeed your baby."
That's the slogan of the year. Youins need to print up T-shirts, tote bags, and bumper stickers.
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  #23  
Old 02-07-2017, 05:07 PM
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I don't find the idea of people breastfeeding other people's babies as gross necessarily, but I find it incredibly bizarre that a daycare worker would breastfeed someone's child after being told not to. Wet nursing, with parent permission/knowledge, is totally cool.

I certainly don't blame the DCM for being upset about that.
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  #24  
Old 02-07-2017, 05:37 PM
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I think you and Mike just gained some new advertising material: "Choose a male provider. We can't breastfeed your baby."
Omg. I almost wee'ed in my pants again. I know BC. Back into pull-ups. Lol
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  #25  
Old 02-08-2017, 04:08 AM
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Am I the only one who thinks it's weird/line crossing that the woman even asked to begin with?!

As a child care provider, I would NEVER ask a client if I could nurse their baby. IMO nursing creates a special bond between mother and child. I would have no issue feeding my child carefully screened donor milk from a bottle if that's what they needed. But the actual act of nursing to me is between mom and baby.
I also think this is like any other medical issue with a dck - and it's the parents issue to deal with. A baby that is fussy or unhappy because of constipation would be sent home. If it continued a doctor's visit to deal with the situation would be required.
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Old 02-08-2017, 04:25 AM
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I think you and Mike just gained some new advertising material: "Choose a male provider. We can't breastfeed your baby."
So THAT'S what I forgot to put on the fliers I posted last week!
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  #27  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:03 AM
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Am I the only one who thinks it's weird/line crossing that the woman even asked to begin with?!

As a child care provider, I would NEVER ask a client if I could nurse their baby. IMO nursing creates a special bond between mother and child. I would have no issue feeding my child carefully screened donor milk from a bottle if that's what they needed. But the actual act of nursing to me is between mom and baby.
I also think this is like any other medical issue with a dck - and it's the parents issue to deal with. A baby that is fussy or unhappy because of constipation would be sent home. If it continued a doctor's visit to deal with the situation would be required.
No, you're not. I agree with this.

I am all for breast milk as a first choice (I tried long and hard to nurse DD, would pump for hours etc. Nothing worked. When I resorted to formula I felt defeated.) This time around I'm more like "eh, as long as babe is fed, it's all good." But I digress.

Feeding a child from another mother's breast is simply not something I would want to do myself OR have someone do for my child in our current situation.

If this were a dire situation, it was a last resort and my child had to eat from another woman's breast or die - of course he would eat. (I think that is where wet nurses originated from - no bottles, no formula and for some reason mom couldn't nurse, babies had to eat from somewhere?) This was not one of those situations.

I also would have never asked. That is just crossing a line imo. I'm also wondering why the caregiver asked, was told no and did it anyway knowing there were cameras in the room.
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Old 02-08-2017, 08:29 AM
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I also would have never asked. That is just crossing a line imo. I'm also wondering why the caregiver asked, was told no and did it anyway knowing there were cameras in the room.
I'm still wondering about that. There has to be some kind of mental issue, long term or just that one time, for her to have done it. Nobody in their right mind would ask, then go against what was said, other than kids.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:59 AM
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I'm still wondering about that. There has to be some kind of mental issue, long term or just that one time, for her to have done it. Nobody in their right mind would ask, then go against what was said, other than kids.
I do wonder if, as a pp suggested, this is one of those "lactavists" who think formula is poison and getting breast milk in any way, shape, or form (lol) is the way to go. I've seen that a lot on crunchier sites (like motheringdotcom) where a woman who "resorts" to formula is vilified and suggestions like using facebook to have "milk meet ups" is encouraged
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Old 02-13-2017, 10:16 AM
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I don't find it gross. I think wet nurses, village raising children is awesome. I donated my own breast milk. BUT, I think it needs to be with parent permission. Obviously, that was not the case here.
This! I have offered my milk to clients before. None of them took me up on it, but none were put off by my offer. I have nursed both my nieces. Just easier when they stay overnight, especially with the new baby niece. She is breastfed exclusively, and doesn't take a bottle well at times. So the couple times we've kept the kids overnight, I've nursed her, w/ my SIL's permission, of course. I'd totally be a wet nurse. I just cut my 6 yr old off a couple weeks ago. Once he lost milkteeth, he's done. He still asks for it, but I am done. He was only getting it for like 30 secs anyway. Still nurse my 2 and a half yr old. She's currently nursing as I type.
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Old 02-13-2017, 11:00 AM
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The key here is you KNOW these people. You're not directly going against the wishes of a stranger and nursing her child. You know them. They know you. And they didn't say "no". That's where it grosses me or weirds me.the fact that she blatantly disregarded moms authority.
That's just wrong. And as the mother it would gross me and weird me and eww me out.
I would know nothing about this woman or her milk.
The actual act of nursing someone else's biological child isn't off putting. But the whole "stranger who thought they were the authority for my child" would.
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This! I have offered my milk to clients before. None of them took me up on it, but none were put off by my offer. I have nursed both my nieces. Just easier when they stay overnight, especially with the new baby niece. She is breastfed exclusively, and doesn't take a bottle well at times. So the couple times we've kept the kids overnight, I've nursed her, w/ my SIL's permission, of course. I'd totally be a wet nurse. I just cut my 6 yr old off a couple weeks ago. Once he lost milkteeth, he's done. He still asks for it, but I am done. He was only getting it for like 30 secs anyway. Still nurse my 2 and a half yr old. She's currently nursing as I type.
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Old 02-13-2017, 02:28 PM
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What everyone else said. And "lactivist"--too funny! I've never heard that word before.

But also, I thought the news article was really lacking in details. I kept expecting to learn more but the article was so short.
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Old 02-13-2017, 04:09 PM
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What everyone else said. And "lactivist"--too funny! I've never heard that word before.

But also, I thought the news article was really lacking in details. I kept expecting to learn more but the article was so short.
Well she won't be facing charges... found a news clip on another forum http://abc11.com/news/no-charges-for...ident/1752399/
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Old 02-14-2017, 06:32 AM
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The key here is you KNOW these people. You're not directly going against the wishes of a stranger and nursing her child. You know them. They know you. And they didn't say "no". That's where it grosses me or weirds me.the fact that she blatantly disregarded moms authority.
That's just wrong. And as the mother it would gross me and weird me and eww me out.
I would know nothing about this woman or her milk.
The actual act of nursing someone else's biological child isn't off putting. But the whole "stranger who thought they were the authority for my child" would.
Sort of this. Big difference between nursing family members, with parent permission, and nursing day care kids, IMO. I also think the clients you have are a big part of it. I imagine MN's clients tend to be more on the "crunchy" side. At most, I could be considered "slightly crispy" I would be weirded out by a staff member at a day care center offering to BF my kid.
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Old 02-14-2017, 06:38 AM
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Sort of this. Big difference between nursing family members, with parent permission, and nursing day care kids, IMO. I also think the clients you have are a big part of it. I imagine MN's clients tend to be more on the "crunchy" side. At most, I could be considered "slightly crispy" I would be weirded out by a staff member at a day care center offering to BF my kid.
lol! I'm weirded out when people ask me if I'll wear their child.
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Old 02-14-2017, 06:38 AM
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Just read Lyseskids link.

Mom and breast feeder were co-workers, as mom also works at the center.

But UGH at the comments. Many are judging the mother for having to work and put her baby in day care.
I can't believe in 2017 people are still blaming the mother for that.
So sorry I have student loans, a mortgage, bills, orthodontics, college savings, and retirement that I need to take care of.
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Old 02-14-2017, 06:40 AM
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lol! I'm weirded out when people ask me if I'll wear their child.
Right! I have a policy that I do NOT wear infants, much less breast feed them, Of course, my youngest is 10 1/2 so that ship sailed a long time ago
Because that's a PARENT'S job.
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Old 02-14-2017, 05:17 PM
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Sort of this. Big difference between nursing family members, with parent permission, and nursing day care kids, IMO. I also think the clients you have are a big part of it. I imagine MN's clients tend to be more on the "crunchy" side. At most, I could be considered "slightly crispy" I would be weirded out by a staff member at a day care center offering to BF my kid.
Yup, though I'm not as crunchy as I once was...
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