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  #1  
Old 06-15-2010, 07:06 PM
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Default Speaking of Micro-Managing.....

I saw the other post and it reminded me of something that happened today with me. The mom that Ive previously brought up that isnt going to like it when I tell her that Im taking in one more child, well, she came and picked up her son today. I told her that I took the kids to the library today. I had my oldest son with me, he is 14, and so it was much easier pulling my choo choo wagon thing down the road and across the street. She proceeded to tell me that the next time I do something random and not expected to just give her a quick text so she knows because those are the times when you dont say something that something usually happens.....WHAT??!! I reminded her that I have been doing this business for 12 years. And she needs to trust me more. I did NOT agree to text her. Would you do this for a parent? I just think thats a little much. If she wants someone she can keep track of like that, she needs to hire a nanny. This is my business. She signed a form saying I had her permission to take her child out on small field trips. This was one of them. Im not texting her everytime I decide to walk the kids to the library....Sheesh.
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Greenshadow View Post
I saw the other post and it reminded me of something that happened today with me. The mom that Ive previously brought up that isnt going to like it when I tell her that Im taking in one more child, well, she came and picked up her son today. I told her that I took the kids to the library today. I had my oldest son with me, he is 14, and so it was much easier pulling my choo choo wagon thing down the road and across the street. She proceeded to tell me that the next time I do something random and not expected to just give her a quick text so she knows because those are the times when you dont say something that something usually happens.....WHAT??!! I reminded her that I have been doing this business for 12 years. And she needs to trust me more. I did NOT agree to text her. Would you do this for a parent? I just think thats a little much. If she wants someone she can keep track of like that, she needs to hire a nanny. This is my business. She signed a form saying I had her permission to take her child out on small field trips. This was one of them. Im not texting her everytime I decide to walk the kids to the library....Sheesh.
Oh Greenshadow..I agree with you but I understand where she is coming from. No you shouldn't have to run things past her esp. if you have already had her sign the form giving permission.

On the other hand: if I were a parent I would like to know when/if my child was leaving the home/center to go on field trip. Not being nosy. Not a matter of trust. Just a matter of knowing what my child is doing or has done.

Oh and before other posters say..oh at pick up you can know. No, I would be the type of parent that is VERY involved and just would like to know. Even if it was in the morning..hey we might go to the library..that would be good enough for me
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:36 PM
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I see no problem with texting a parent with just an "fyi- we're heading to the library"

My personal policy is that parents receive written notice of any trips off of my property that we take in the van. I do have in my policy that with "walking" trips, the parents receive verbal notification at morning drop-off.

I totally understand a parent wanting to know that their child is leaving my property on a field trip - I don't think it's a matter of **trust**, just as a parent, I'd want to know where my child is! And if she's happy with a text saying, "FYI we're going to the library" which would take less than 60 seconds to type and send....I think that's reasonable.

Just my opinion.
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:40 PM
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I just think its crazy. I dont care if I am the only one that thinks that either. I would not worry if my daycare provider walked across the street to the library. I trust my child with her for so many hours a day. I wouldnt need to know when to start worrying because they just walked out into the public with my child. Its not like I loaded them into the van and headed off to the zoo. It was a wagon trip across the street. I dont know. Seems anal to me. I have five kids in my care. A simple text times five? I guess from now on I can just tell them everyday that we might leave the house! That way Im covered. I take the kids to the park down the street daily. Ive never had to text her or call her.
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:55 PM
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Our state requires that we have a signed permission slitp for every outing so if you were here you would have had to have her sign a form for today. The form is required to contain the date, the time you are leaving, time you come back, where you are going and what adults will be with them. We can't have them do a blanket permission slip.

And yes my parents would flip if I did something like you did today. I only have permission to take them for neighborhood walks and over to the park nearby. Anything else would require getting permission from everyone every time.

I carry a cell phone and am within a block of my house at all times. They know where we are and when we go out.

Every state is different tho. If you aren't required to do specific forms for each time out then she needs to know you want flexibility. It's not trust as much as it is them knowing where their kid is at all times.

I have a neighbor who has done care for years. She does car trips EVERY day with the kids. She takes them shopping, on errands, to run her kids places, to the Dr's office, Dentist office etc. She has had a lot of problems with unhappy clients because of the numerous times the kids are in the car instead of playing at home. She just boots the families if they protest. It's her business and she gets to decide what clients she keeps. She only keeps ones who will allow her to get things done.

I ran into her at my Doc once when I was on vacation. She had six kids in tow. She told me she had a sore throat and had to get it checked before she went camping that weekend. Our doctors are open in the evenings and weekends. She was willing to take these well children to a doctor office so she could get a visit in before she went camping. As a parent, that would upset me.

Not that you would do that but I do understand parents wanting to manage any off site visits.

Nan
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Old 06-15-2010, 07:55 PM
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I go both ways on this one. I have my parents sign a blanket permission slip for walking field trips. Yesterday I only had 4 kids (all 3 and up) and I decided to take them on a walking trip to the gas station around the corner to pick out a treat. I really debated on whether or not to text/send email to the parents telling them where we were going. As a parent, I think I would want to know if my child was going somewhere out of the ordinary (which the gas station isnt somewhere we go often.) I actually decided not to email the parents about it. I dont really know why. I guess because I have the permission slip so I just went ahead and went. It was fine and none of the parents seemed to think twice about it (even my picky one).

If the library is somewhere you go to often, I would tell the parent that you go fairly frequently and she can just expect that it is a possiblilty...just like taking a walk around the block and you cant take the time to text all the parents everytime you go out. etc...

OR you could just tell her "Sure, I understand." Then just type a quick text as you head out the door saying "We're headed to the library", and not worry about her reasons why she NEEDS to know.

You just have to determine how you want to handle it (or how much you want to keep her as a client). If she was a good client I would probably agree to it. I have come to realize that a lot of the issues that annoy me about parents have less to do with me and more to do with THEM. People have quirks, fears, prior experiences that shape who they are and what they get "weird" about.
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Old 06-15-2010, 08:03 PM
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I just think its crazy. I dont care if I am the only one that thinks that either. I would not worry if my daycare provider walked across the street to the library. I trust my child with her for so many hours a day. I wouldnt need to know when to start worrying because they just walked out into the public with my child. Its not like I loaded them into the van and headed off to the zoo. It was a wagon trip across the street. I dont know. Seems anal to me. I have five kids in my care. A simple text times five? I guess from now on I can just tell them everyday that we might leave the house! That way Im covered. I take the kids to the park down the street daily. Ive never had to text her or call her.
If you are able to take her child to the park everyday with notifying her...then I agree that it is weird. You already leave your property on a regular basis and so I dont see why the Library across the street would be any different than the park down the street. They are both walking trips in the neighborhood.
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Old 06-15-2010, 10:49 PM
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people never think the things they do are a big deal until something unexpected/bad happens. if you had a stroke or got hit by a bus - how would anyone know where their kid was? what if a parent picks up early?

it's not unreasonable at all - and i don't care who thinks it IS - to want to know where your child is at ALL times.
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Old 06-16-2010, 04:04 AM
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people never think the things they do are a big deal until something unexpected/bad happens. if you had a stroke or got hit by a bus - how would anyone know where their kid was? what if a parent picks up early?

it's not unreasonable at all - and i don't care who thinks it IS - to want to know where your child is at ALL times.
The trip to the park is FURTHER than the trip to the library! Things can happen at the park as well as the library. I live in a busy area. If we/I am hit by a bus, everyone is going to know. Its gonna stop traffic pretty bad.
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Old 06-16-2010, 04:22 AM
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Anal yes. And the very reason I do none of it. Do not transport children in my vehicle. Do not go to the park or for walks. I have a nice backyard with a mini playground. That is what you get when you come to my house.

I will say, in the past 11 years on the occassional very very rare day I only had 3 children, I have made 2 trips to McDonalds for lunch, walking, it is a 15 minute walk, and maybe 3 trips to the park, another 10 minute walk if that. The times I did it, I put a note on my front door explaining where we were. Parents were fine with it. But overall, we are stuck here all day everyday. I can't imagine trying to walk a small group of children daily or loading a group up in my vehicle. I just won't do it. Nor do I want to deal with parents.

When my own kids were in a daycare home, I hated it that she took them in a vehicle. This is probably one of the most asked questions I get at interviews is....do you transport. NOPE, not even on foot.
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Old 06-16-2010, 04:57 AM
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i have some parents who dont care if we go anywhere without telling them and some who do. i always make sure to tell my parents ahead of time. i also leave notes on the door as to where we are, and i always tell my FIL, who lives next door, where we are going to be. like others have said, god forbid something happens, somebody somewhere will know where i am, or where i'm supposed to be. i even have one parent who will take the day off to chaperone her own kids on our trips, and thats fine with me.

now as a parent, i am not the type to micro manage or helicopter parent my kids at all, but this is the one time i HAVE to know whats going on with them. i wont even let other moms drive my kids to birthday parties or playdates. i have lost many friends and school mates to accidents, in cars (3 people), a 4- wheeler, and a drowning in the ocean, (all when i was in school) and like someone else said, everyone has quirks and reasons, and i guess this one is mine. i know you can never know when something like that could happen, but i'd rather it be on my hands then someones else's. JMO
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Old 06-16-2010, 05:20 AM
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You know, I'm in agreement with Greenshadow here. If the parent gave permission for walking field trips, she gave permission for this field trip and didn't need to be notified. It wasn't like you tried to hide anything from her!

We go places several times a week (just yesterday I only had two kids, plus my own four, and we went to an indoor playground for the morning). I do have a schedule for the week posted in the entryway so parents should be aware of our activities - but half the time they don't even look at it and then act surprised when I tell them what we did that day. We regularly go to storytime at the library, open playtime at a local preschool, the nature center, lots of parks (some walking, some driving), McDonald's playplace (rare - I don't do fast food) and two different indoor playgrounds. Today we're walking to the park for a picnic lunch and time to play on the playground. I think it's fun to go places and it's good and healthy for kids to have a variety of experiences! JMO! Oh, but I try to never run personal errands with dck's - way too much work!

I'm not the slightest bit nervous about transporting kids. I'm a CPST (Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician), I personally own 14 carseats and I can safely transport up to 7 children in my vehicle. Plus, during the school year I had to drop off/pick up my older kids from school every day (which parents are told during the interview). Not comfortable with your kids going places with me? Find another provider. We're a busy bunch!
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Old 06-16-2010, 06:13 AM
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You know, I'm in agreement with Greenshadow here. If the parent gave permission for walking field trips, she gave permission for this field trip and didn't need to be notified. It wasn't like you tried to hide anything from her!

We go places several times a week (just yesterday I only had two kids, plus my own four, and we went to an indoor playground for the morning). I do have a schedule for the week posted in the entryway so parents should be aware of our activities - but half the time they don't even look at it and then act surprised when I tell them what we did that day. We regularly go to storytime at the library, open playtime at a local preschool, the nature center, lots of parks (some walking, some driving), McDonald's playplace (rare - I don't do fast food) and two different indoor playgrounds. Today we're walking to the park for a picnic lunch and time to play on the playground. I think it's fun to go places and it's good and healthy for kids to have a variety of experiences! JMO! Oh, but I try to never run personal errands with dck's - way too much work!

I'm not the slightest bit nervous about transporting kids. I'm a CPST (Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician), I personally own 14 carseats and I can safely transport up to 7 children in my vehicle. Plus, during the school year I had to drop off/pick up my older kids from school every day (which parents are told during the interview). Not comfortable with your kids going places with me? Find another provider. We're a busy bunch!
I take the kids already to the library on Thursdays for Storytime so she already knows that we take the walk weekly. It was surely not a secret either. I told her that we went and thought she'd be happy to know we got out of the house and got to play and stuff. She was happy but then slapped me with that she wanted me to text her from now on. Its not like we went somewhere foreign. We go to the park and the library all the time. Ugh. I wouldnt have cared if my provider took my child without telling me to the library. Its not like they went to the bail bondsman. If I pay my care giver for childcare and she is making decisions and judgement calls on his behalf then I would be fine with them going to safe places without my knowledge from time to time. Guess thats just me.
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:01 AM
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I agree with MAC. This past school year I did walk all the kids to my daughter's preschool, but that was like a block away and only 3 days a week. Before that, I did not take them anywhere. This year, I will have to walk my daughter to the bus stop, but again, that shouldn't be more than a block away. I do not want the responsiblity of taking the kids for everyday walks. I have a nice sized yard with plenty of things to do, plus a 3 car garage where they can ride bikes, and when it rains we play in the basement playroom. The basement is only for bad weather days, where there is different toys to play with then what is in the upstairs playroom.
As a parent, I would not want my children being taken to all kinds of places
I don't see anything wrong with either texting her or at least at drop-off mention about going library, park or whatever. What if an emergency happens and she needs to get her child and you are not there? I don't think it's a matter of trust. I think it's just courtsey to tell her if you are going to be leaving the house.

Last edited by melissa ann; 06-16-2010 at 07:49 AM. Reason: grammer
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:05 AM
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I take the kids already to the library on Thursdays for Storytime so she already knows that we take the walk weekly. It was surely not a secret either. I told her that we went and thought she'd be happy to know we got out of the house and got to play and stuff. She was happy but then slapped me with that she wanted me to text her from now on. Its not like we went somewhere foreign. We go to the park and the library all the time. Ugh. I wouldnt have cared if my provider took my child without telling me to the library. Its not like they went to the bail bondsman. If I pay my care giver for childcare and she is making decisions and judgement calls on his behalf then I would be fine with them going to safe places without my knowledge from time to time. Guess thats just me.
I think the parent is over-reacting a bit. But I see no problem sending her a text saying you are heading out.
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:56 AM
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As a parent, I would not want my children being taken to all kinds of places
I don't see anything wrong with either texting her or at least at drop-off mention about going library, park or whatever. What if an emergency happens and she needs to get her child and you are not there? I don't think it's a matter of trust. I think it's just courtsey to tell her if you are going to be leaving the house.
I dont take the kids all over the place. We go to the park daily and to the library once a week. Thats it. There and back.

If an emergency happens, I will deal with it accordingly, just as I would deal with it at home. I carry numbers in my phone. The reaction to an accident in public would be similar to one in my home.

I think it would be different if I were all of a sudden taking them to the zoo or something. But to walk with them across the street? Come on. Especially when I already go there once a week as it is.
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:16 AM
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There are so many different opinions on this. That is why each of us runs our own business the way we are comfortable with...and we market it that way. Parents who come to my daycare LOVE the fact that the kids get out of the house and have all kinds of experiences. However, if a parent isnt comfortable with that they will go elsewhere.
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:54 AM
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Greenshadow, it's YOUR business. I would be annoyed too, if a parent said to me what this mom said to you. I'm busy watching kids, I don't have time to text every time we go somewhere (especially if it were a walk across the street). Do what YOU are comfortable with. If you don't want to text her for future trips, don't. If she doesn't like it, she can go elsewhere .
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Old 06-16-2010, 10:57 AM
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This is such a strange issue for me. I have had clients who didn't like that I didn't go places and that her previous provider just takes all the kids with her to run errands. So, I thought, ok, I'll stop putting my life on hold when I have daycare kids. Then I got pregnant with twins and took a different DCB with me to my DD's ENT appointment and 2 of my OB appointments (meetings, not exams - no clothes came off) and that DCM got upset that I was taking him out "all the time", even though I had a signed permission slip and she knew well in advance. So, some parents like for you to get out and about and others do not.

Since I have them sign a Transportation Permission Slip during enrollment, I just let them know at drop-off it we plan to go anywhere. However, a couple months ago, the tornado sirens went off moments after it started hailing. I got the kids in the basement and then, I texted the mom to let her know that we were in the basement. The reason I did this was because, God forbid, the tornado hit the house and we would need to be dug out, at least someone would know where we were located. Also, if she was hearing the sirens, at least she would know that we had gotten to our "safe" place.

If you have a blanket field trip permission slip, then you don't have to notify her. But, if you don't and this is a big issue for her, she might start looking elsewhere. Tough decision. But it sounds like you already know where you stand, so go with that. Your business, your house, your rules. Period.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:17 AM
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Thanks!! I did have her sign a permission slip allowing me to take her child on small field trips. This, to me, being across the street, fit that bill. Apparently not. LOL.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:29 AM
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For trips on foot, I just put a note on my door and keep my cell on me. I let the parents know in advance this is how I do it. So if they come for early pick up, they see the note and know where we are and they can always get me on my cell. I wouldn't be willing to text her every time I left the house for a walk either. Car trips I would, but for walking, no.
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Old 06-16-2010, 11:44 AM
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I don't have a cell phone and even if I did, I don't get reception where I live, so a cell phone is pointless. OK, I'll be honest, even if I had a cell phone with good reception, I probably would have it off or I would lose it or I would just not even answer it. I hate talking on the phone as it is! I screen my phone calls big time. A parent couldn't get in touch with me even if they wanted to during the day if I'm outside of my yard. I have a blanket permission slip that I have them sign that covers every outing that we take, planned or unplanned. I may tell them in advance that we'll be doing this or that, but I just let them all know that I tend to change my plans from time to time. I've never had an issue with it because I tell them in advance that sometimes our plans change. During the spring and summer, we go places every single week (we pick up litter from the bike paths and throughout different neighborhoods and we go to garage sales once a week). The only time I ever mention it is if I don't know a kid's schedule and it interferes with our departure or arrival time. It comes down to trusting me enough to do my job and so far, all of my parents have.
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:06 PM
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I don't have a cell phone and even if I did, I don't get reception where I live, so a cell phone is pointless. OK, I'll be honest, even if I had a cell phone with good reception, I probably would have it off or I would lose it or I would just not even answer it. I hate talking on the phone as it is! I screen my phone calls big time. A parent couldn't get in touch with me even if they wanted to during the day if I'm outside of my yard. I have a blanket permission slip that I have them sign that covers every outing that we take, planned or unplanned. I may tell them in advance that we'll be doing this or that, but I just let them all know that I tend to change my plans from time to time. I've never had an issue with it because I tell them in advance that sometimes our plans change. During the spring and summer, we go places every single week (we pick up litter from the bike paths and throughout different neighborhoods and we go to garage sales once a week). The only time I ever mention it is if I don't know a kid's schedule and it interferes with our departure or arrival time. It comes down to trusting me enough to do my job and so far, all of my parents have.
I'm in MI too and I do the blanket permission slip. The thing is that this is MI and if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes - it'll change. So even if I plan to take them out, by the time we're ready, it may be raining. Or it may be raining in the morning so I'm not planning on going out and about. Then it clears up and we change our plans and get out. Plus, this is daycare. No 2 days are exactly the same in this profession. You may not plan on going anywhere because you have too many kids to take in your car (mine only fits 3 car seats/booster seats), then one kid calls off and suddenly you have the option to go somewhere. When that has happened to me, I act like a kid at Christmas. "Oh, where to go, where to go, so many choices, where to go?! The zoo, the park, the big park, the pet store, the exotic pet store, the park with the trails, the beach, the kids/science museum, etc?" The options seem endless.
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:29 PM
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For trips on foot, I just put a note on my door and keep my cell on me. I let the parents know in advance this is how I do it. So if they come for early pick up, they see the note and know where we are and they can always get me on my cell. I wouldn't be willing to text her every time I left the house for a walk either. Car trips I would, but for walking, no.
Thats exactly what I did, too. I put a note on the door.
Thanks again for everyone's input, once again.
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Old 06-16-2010, 07:55 PM
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Yep, if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes!!!

Today started off rainy and cold, became rainy and muggy, then sunny and warm, then warm and muggy...

Can't make too many plans here!
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Old 06-16-2010, 09:32 PM
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I guess I always let my parents know if we are going somewhere. They did sign a contract saying that they are aware and ok with me taking their kids out. I guess I look at it like my older kids in school. If they aren't going to be in the school, because they are going on a field trip or something, I get a note telling me. I would like to know these things, and I offer my dc parents the same courtesy. Maybe this mom rubs you the wrong way?
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  #27  
Old 06-17-2010, 06:42 AM
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originalkat originalkat is offline
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Originally Posted by professionalmom View Post
I'm in MI too and I do the blanket permission slip. The thing is that this is MI and if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes - it'll change. So even if I plan to take them out, by the time we're ready, it may be raining. Or it may be raining in the morning so I'm not planning on going out and about. Then it clears up and we change our plans and get out. Plus, this is daycare. No 2 days are exactly the same in this profession. You may not plan on going anywhere because you have too many kids to take in your car (mine only fits 3 car seats/booster seats), then one kid calls off and suddenly you have the option to go somewhere. When that has happened to me, I act like a kid at Christmas. "Oh, where to go, where to go, so many choices, where to go?! The zoo, the park, the big park, the pet store, the exotic pet store, the park with the trails, the beach, the kids/science museum, etc?" The options seem endless.
YIPPEE!!! This happened to me today!!! At the last minute, 2 parents called in sick so now I just have 2 dck and my own two. I asked the 2 parents for their carseats and told them we would be out and about...maybe the park, maybe McDonalds, maybe the museum?!?! Who knows! They thought it sounded like lots of fun. They wished they didnt have to go to work!
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