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  #1  
Old 05-14-2013, 09:22 PM
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blandino blandino is offline
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Default I Feel Like I Am On Jeopardy With All These Questions...

I have 4 DCK around 3-4 years old. Their non-stop questions are driving me batty.

They aren't the typical "how" "why", type of questions. Those I know how to deal with and I know they are a normal part of being their age.

My problem goes a little like this:

Me: "Okay lets clean up our books"
DCK #1: "What are we doing next ?" (still hasn't cleaned up a thing)
DCK#2: "We are taking a nap right ? Can I sleep next to Ella ?"
DCK #3: "Can I bring my cow to nap ?"

I would like to at least get the books put away - or have them paying attention to what I asked them to do - before they start in on the next thing.

This is happening in every situation. Questions about things that are way in the future. I find myself losing patience, because in the midst of trying to finish and clean up from what we are currently doing - I am bombarded by questions about what we are doing next.

We have pretty structured routine, so the kids do know what we are doing next. It is more that they ask questions, just to ask them. And a lot of the questions are exceptions to what we are starting to do. They are asking for something special.


Me: Okay, lets throw our plates in the trash and put our cups in the sink
DCK: Can I get Thomas the Train out when I am done ?


I guess I just want them to focus on what we are doing right then. I love that they know what to expect, but it is really starting to wear on me having 10 questions thrown at me every time I transition them, about things that we haven't even started yet. I have been telling them to focus on what I just asked them to do, but it doesn't really work. I also have tried repeating "It is time to pick up books" when they ask their questions and that seems to help a little to remind them of the task on hand.

Thoughts or techniques ....
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  #2  
Old 05-14-2013, 09:26 PM
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Maybe they can raise their hand?

And then maybe you could say, "I see you have a question, let's finish this task and then I will listen to it"

most of the time I just ignore questions until i'm ready to answer them.
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Old 05-14-2013, 10:15 PM
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I use visual aides. I made a poster board calendar that shows pictures along with the time we are doing each activity.

Believe this, I have a 2.5 year old that can actually tell time using a digital clock.

We use a clothes pin that we move as we complete each task, activity, project, so on.

Sometime the kids dive me crazy asking what time is it, but I just say go look at the clock. Some can read it, most can't but they can always go back to the visual aid poster to see what's next.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:28 AM
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I give a heads up when possible. "In 5 minutes (they don't know how long that is, I know), we will put the play dough away and get ready for lunch." It seems to help mentally prepare them for the change, and lets them know what's next.
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  #5  
Old 05-15-2013, 04:46 AM
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"I will be happy to answer that as soon as all these books are put away."

"Good question, let's get these plates cleaned up and then we will talk."

"I can't hear you because I am too busy cleaning up, if you help me first then we can discuss what is next."

I only have ONE question kid, and it's all WHY.

"Why are you putting *****'s cup in the sink? Why are you walking back to the table? Why do I have to change my wet clothes? Why did my Mommy send me this shirt? Why so we have to brush our teef? Why is there so many flowers in the garden? Why does ****** get the blue blanket?"

His own MOTHER says to him "Why do you ask so many questions?" and he always says "Why did you ask me that!?"


Why WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYY!?
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Old 05-15-2013, 04:55 AM
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OP - this is my DD! She is constantly asking questions about what will come next, and it drives me crazy! (She also has a very over-active imagination, so a lot of times the questions get a little confusing haha).

I've tried the route of "I will answer your questions when we finish this" or something to that extent and it doesn't work. I have tried ignoring and it doesn't work. I have tried sitting down and telling her about everything we will be doing in the time period she is asking about. That doesn't work. It's always questions, questions, questions.

When you figure something out, let me know
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  #7  
Old 05-15-2013, 04:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
"I will be happy to answer that as soon as all these books are put away."

"Good question, let's get these plates cleaned up and then we will talk."

"I can't hear you because I am too busy cleaning up, if you help me first then we can discuss what is next."

I only have ONE question kid, and it's all WHY.

"Why are you putting *****'s cup in the sink? Why are you walking back to the table? Why do I have to change my wet clothes? Why did my Mommy send me this shirt? Why so we have to brush our teef? Why is there so many flowers in the garden? Why does ****** get the blue blanket?"

His own MOTHER says to him "Why do you ask so many questions?" and he always says "Why did you ask me that!?"


Why WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYY!?
Just wanted to say that my high school biology teacher told us that her niece was always asking "why", and she started giving her extremely long, scientific answers and her niece stopped asking "why" because she didn't have enough patience to sit there and listen to the answer. Haha.
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  #8  
Old 05-15-2013, 05:11 AM
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This behavior is "do ME" behavior. It doesn't have anything to do with information gathering. It's a learned behavior to get you to engage HIM. Sometimes they are trying to secure future rights to something but mostly it's a way for you to engage him. The why's or what's are "terms of engagement".

So first you need to quit adding words to your prompts:

Say "Clean toys now" instead of "it's time for us to clean up toys"

Me: "Okay lets clean up our books"
DCK #1: "What are we doing next ?" (still hasn't cleaned up a thing)
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK#2: "We are taking a nap right ? Can I sleep next to Ella ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK #3: "Can I bring my cow to nap ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

Me: Okay, lets throw our plates in the trash and put our cups in the sink

DCK: Can I get Thomas the Train out when I am done ?
You: Throw plates in trash. Put cup in sink.

Then after they have Clean up books... throw plate in trash... put cup in sink... then I would have a sit down ... transitional quiet time for about three to five minutes.

Then go to the next thing.
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  #9  
Old 05-15-2013, 05:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
This behavior is "do ME" behavior. It doesn't have anything to do with information gathering. It's a learned behavior to get you to engage HIM. Sometimes they are trying to secure future rights to something but mostly it's a way for you to engage him. The why's or what's are "terms of engagement".

So first you need to quit adding words to your prompts:

Say "Clean toys now" instead of "it's time for us to clean up toys"

Me: "Okay lets clean up our books"
DCK #1: "What are we doing next ?" (still hasn't cleaned up a thing)
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK#2: "We are taking a nap right ? Can I sleep next to Ella ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK #3: "Can I bring my cow to nap ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

Me: Okay, lets throw our plates in the trash and put our cups in the sink

DCK: Can I get Thomas the Train out when I am done ?
You: Throw plates in trash. Put cup in sink.

Then after they have Clean up books... throw plate in trash... put cup in sink... then I would have a sit down ... transitional quiet time for about three to five minutes.

Then go to the next thing.
Sounds like the 'broken record technique'. It works well on adults who won't take no for an answer too.

Laurel
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  #10  
Old 05-15-2013, 05:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blandino View Post
I have 4 DCK around 3-4 years old. Their non-stop questions are driving me batty.

They aren't the typical "how" "why", type of questions. Those I know how to deal with and I know they are a normal part of being their age.

My problem goes a little like this:

Me: "Okay lets clean up our books"
DCK #1: "What are we doing next ?" (still hasn't cleaned up a thing)
DCK#2: "We are taking a nap right ? Can I sleep next to Ella ?"
DCK #3: "Can I bring my cow to nap ?"

I would like to at least get the books put away - or have them paying attention to what I asked them to do - before they start in on the next thing.

This is happening in every situation. Questions about things that are way in the future. I find myself losing patience, because in the midst of trying to finish and clean up from what we are currently doing - I am bombarded by questions about what we are doing next.

We have pretty structured routine, so the kids do know what we are doing next. It is more that they ask questions, just to ask them. And a lot of the questions are exceptions to what we are starting to do. They are asking for something special.


Me: Okay, lets throw our plates in the trash and put our cups in the sink
DCK: Can I get Thomas the Train out when I am done ?


I guess I just want them to focus on what we are doing right then. I love that they know what to expect, but it is really starting to wear on me having 10 questions thrown at me every time I transition them, about things that we haven't even started yet. I have been telling them to focus on what I just asked them to do, but it doesn't really work. I also have tried repeating "It is time to pick up books" when they ask their questions and that seems to help a little to remind them of the task on hand.

Thoughts or techniques ....
I have something similar going on with my 4/5 yo's. One child in particular. I will tell them it's time to pick the toys up before lunch and the one boy especially will say "and then we have nap, right?" or if I tell them to put on their shoes, they will say "why, what are we doing?" and THEN say, "and then we're going to play xyz, right?"

They KNOW the answer, but ask...make statements anyways. Yup...it drives me a little batty also.
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  #11  
Old 05-15-2013, 05:38 AM
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I might be completely wrong but I found out this same thing happened to me when my schedule/curriculum was overstimulating for the kids.

I would have free play in the beginning of the day (before circle time) and only again at the end of the day before parents arrive. In between it was 1 activity after the other! and although we would do crafts at the same time everyday, each craft was always so different from the day before that it did not seem to be the same routine (example - one day we would mold clay and the next day we could be spraying water bottles with paint to a paper hanging on the outdoor fence... see what I mean... crafts every day at the same time but did not feel like it's routine).

I realized my routine was stimulating the kids too much and therefor causing some anxiety and the questions you mentioned... "what's next?..."

Kids need more predictability and once I toned down my activities and introduced more free play during the day these questions completely disappeared. I did this by having less activities per day and each activity would be followed by free play... then when they started to show signs of being bored I would bring up the next activity)

Sometimes, ..."Less is More"... It all depends on the dynamic of the group you have at the moment.
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  #12  
Old 05-15-2013, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CedarCreek View Post
Maybe they can raise their hand?

And then maybe you could say, "I see you have a question, let's finish this task and then I will listen to it"

most of the time I just ignore questions until i'm ready to answer them.
I find myself doing the same exact thing. Some children here (I can think of THREE) love to ask just to hear themselves talking.
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  #13  
Old 05-15-2013, 02:53 PM
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Bookworm Bookworm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
This behavior is "do ME" behavior. It doesn't have anything to do with information gathering. It's a learned behavior to get you to engage HIM. Sometimes they are trying to secure future rights to something but mostly it's a way for you to engage him. The why's or what's are "terms of engagement".

So first you need to quit adding words to your prompts:

Say "Clean toys now" instead of "it's time for us to clean up toys"

Me: "Okay lets clean up our books"
DCK #1: "What are we doing next ?" (still hasn't cleaned up a thing)
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK#2: "We are taking a nap right ? Can I sleep next to Ella ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

DCK #3: "Can I bring my cow to nap ?"
YOU: CLEAN UP BOOKS

Me: Okay, lets throw our plates in the trash and put our cups in the sink

DCK: Can I get Thomas the Train out when I am done ?
You: Throw plates in trash. Put cup in sink.

Then after they have Clean up books... throw plate in trash... put cup in sink... then I would have a sit down ... transitional quiet time for about three to five minutes.

Then go to the next thing.
I do this and it has cut down on most of the questions. ECS, I have two DCGs who are absolutely in love with their voices. Sometimes I don't want to ask about their weekend/night because it will be a 15 min long rambling story and my eyes will start to glaze over.
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  #14  
Old 05-15-2013, 03:06 PM
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EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
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Originally Posted by Bookworm View Post
I do this and it has cut down on most of the questions. ECS, I have two DCGs who are absolutely in love with their voices. Sometimes I don't want to ask about their weekend/night because it will be a 15 min long rambling story and my eyes will start to glaze over.
LOL I find that I sometimes have to go to the bathroom just so I can hear myself think.
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  #15  
Old 05-15-2013, 04:00 PM
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I read recently that the average 4yo asks about 437 questions a day! I figured I was getting about 1300 per day with my crew. It is hard to explain, since I am not doing rocket science here, but at the end of the day I am mentally exhausted!
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