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Unregistered 06:22 PM 03-26-2016
I know this probably sounds like a whiny post, and perhaps it is... that's why I'm going Unreg on this one, but I have to vent to people who may understand. It's a long one. I apologize in advance.

After over a year of saving up we finally invested in a new daycare van. It's a 12 passenger Nissan NV that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It's admittedly a pricier vehicle, but being a slightly used vehicle that was customized we got it at an excellent price. Add that to the fact that our insurance premium actually went down and we will no longer have the maintenance costs that seemed to attack us monthly, I think we came out ahead. Gas mileage is better, too. I digress, but I've felt the need to rationalize my purchase all day because of a DCM, and how horrible she's made me feel.

We advised parents that there would be no transportation yesterday (Good Friday) but that we would still be open. Only one parent asked why we cancelled transportation and my assistant told him something along the lines of, "we're retiring the old van." He seemed OK with that answer, from what I was told. I posted a reminder on the website and on our group FB on Monday. We left it up all week. We sent home a print reminder in the Monday folders (our weekly communication folder where we send all pertinent information, field trip slips/reminders, etc. Parents know that the RED Monday folder is sent every Monday, and should be returned Tuesday empty, with the initial slip on the front filled out that the folder had been received and the materials inside reviewed/acknowledged/signed as appropriate). All the Monday folders came back by Wednesday *insert eye roll* initialed. Thursday at drop-off our driver reminded the caregivers that there would be no transportation Friday, but we were open for those who could find their own transportation to bring the children and pick up themselves. We also offered up to $4 for bus fare to the parents, specifically because of one parent who lives on the other side of town, whom we believed transportation would be a real issue. That parent opted to keep child home, however.

Yesterday morning around 10 AM I received a call from a DCG grandmother concerned that her granddaughter wasn't picked up at 8:15 per usual. I told her that there was no transportation that day ONLY and all the parents were made aware, and in fact, her daughter had signed off that she received the reminder on Monday. Grandma said no one had told her there was no transportation and she had a hair appointment. I advised her that although we weren't transporting we were still open and she was welcome to bring DCG as long as she came within the hour (so DCG could be put down with the other kids at quiet time). Grandma and DCG walk into the daycare within 15 minutes of us hanging up.

DH took delivery of the new van early yesterday afternoon, so when parents started arriving around 4, the van was already in the driveway. Granted, it did not have the DC signage on it yet, but it did have the dealership stickers still on so a couple of parents noticed and mentioned it, in a congratulatory fashion. Then DCM arrives, girlfriend of the DCD that questioned why we weren't transporting Friday. She remarks, "Oh, so that's why you didn't pick up. You didn't want our kids in your fancy new van, huh?" Kind of snottily, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or being funny. Two other parents were picking up, one was on her way out but she stopped, I'm sure just to listen. The other was talking to my assistant about her potty training. DCM goes on to say, loudly, to get everyone's attention: "I had to take the bus here to get [DCG] and you have a [expletive] new van in your [expletive] yard! This is some [bullcrap] and I'm not bringing [DCG] back!" Meanwhile, grandma of the other DCG walks in and is standing in the doorway, unable to get by because of the spectator mom. I'm mortified and trying to diffuse the situation as this mom is YELLING and there are DCKs all around, one of the last 2 y.o. awaiting pickup was crying. My assistant threatens to call the police if DCM doesn't calm down and remove herself, so she grabs her daughter by the arm and starts pulling her out the door. She almost bumps into the grandmother, who is asking what's going on, to no one in particular. DCM proceeds to tell her that I used all their hard earned money that I was "overcharging" them to go buy a "fancy new van (didn't you see it when you came in?!)" and now I thought I was "too good" to pick up their kids. Like, what the heck am I going to do with a 12 passenger van if it's not for the DC?? Seriously, what are people thinking?! So anyway...

It's complete chaos and Grandma asks ME directly what's going on... I am trying to explain over the yelling mom, the crying kid, the other mom STILL in the doorway with her phone out, probably recording, and my assistant who is kind of comforting the other kids, but still engaging the DCM telling her she's misinformed and the van is FOR the kids! All the while the other DCM who was talking to the assistant has gone upstairs into my HOUSE to get my DH...!! DCM keeps cutting me off when I'm trying to talk to Grandma, contradicting everything I'm saying, calling me a liar, a cheat, a thief. Saying I'm misappropriating the funds from the daycare to offer fewer services to the parents than I originally advertised. The whole nine yards! She's saying I falsely advertised because I failed to transport ONE DAY out of the 1.5 years we've been transporting full time! One day!

Grandma seems confused by the whole scene, which is admittedly out of control, and I know she's still miffed about the pickup confusion from earlier, so I'm really trying to ignore DCM and clarify things with Grandma, hoping DCM will just move a couple more feet across the threshold and go! I'm really trying to diffuse the situation and reassure Grandma specifically because I know she pays for a large part of DCG tuition and if she decides to stop paying me DCG's mom will move her to wherever Grandma is willing to pay. DCG's mom doesn't make enough to pay the tuition herself and she lives with her mom so she doesn't qualify for subsidy so Grandma is really the consumer.

Finally my husband comes down to the daycare with the DCM (who REALLY walked into my house!! LOL!) and asks everyone to leave, stating he WILL call the police and those who are still there when they arrive will no longer have child care. The caregivers disperse rather quickly. I tell Grandma I will call her in the evening once all the kids were gone to explain everything and apologize.

When I do finally call her, she's more understanding than I thought she would be and we have a pretty good dialogue. But then she tells me that DCM continued to fuss in MY driveway and was telling Grandma and the other DCMs some really rude things about me and my program. She said she was withdrawing her daughter (again) and she advised the other caregivers to do so as well because when she was "done with" me there would be no more daycare. I was so disheartened last night that I just prayed and went to bed early.

I log on to the FB page to update it this morning and DCM had posted a really nasty post about me overcharging and being "way more than other providers in the area." She accused me of using CACFP reimbursement to purchase the van and other "personal items unrelated to the daycare" and then serving the kids canned ravioli and raw broccoli for lunch instead of what I have posted on the menus. [Where did she even come up with that one?]
She said I was "illegally charging a transportation fee" when I don't offer transportation on a regular basis and I'm "always" cancelling the van service with no notice. I don't even know her point in posting such malicious lies when the only people on the secret FB page are DC families who know better. And, yes, there was some element of truth to what she was saying about charging a transportation fee, but it's hardly substantial and it's absolutely not illegal. We charge a small transportation fee upon enrollment and annually, but it's not just to those we transport, it's for everyone. It's negligible and goes towards the insurance premiums that we pay every six months. It also goes towards upgrading/replacing car seats and "gas" for field trips, although, truth be told, the $50 per family is NOT putting ANY gas in the van, AT ALL after the insurance, registration, snow tires, winter wipers etc we purchase to keep the van safe.

I printed her rant, I screenshot it and erased it from the FB page before deleting her. DH says I should sue her for libel, but DCM doesn't have any money to make it worth it, and I'm not out to hurt her just because she hurt me. I just wish... I don't know. I guess I wish it didn't happen at all. Jealousy rears its ugly head.

My feelings are so hurt.
Reply
NightOwl 06:43 PM 03-26-2016
That's TERRIBLE. She sounds truly certifiable. It may not be worth your while to sue her, but sending a cease and desist order from your attorney may go a long way in shutting her up. Slander IS illegal and she needs to know that.
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Mandy 06:54 PM 03-26-2016
First of all, a big big for you. In a way, that DCM kind of gave herself her own term letter because she did not want to take her kid back again (over something so silly may I add.) Your assistant and husband did the right thing in how they handled her, and you did the right thing in screenshotting the post she left on your page before you deleted it. What she did though was bullying and you really should not have that. You don't deserve that . Know that you are not responsible for her reaction. She chose her actions, and she chose her consequences. I agree with NightOwl that you should follow through with the cease and desist order on her.

This DCM should be responsible for her actions. Even though she unofficially termed herself, I would not take her kid back. People who behave like this are just far too much liability. You may also want to update your licensing folks just in case this mom tries to call them. Again big hugs for you
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CityGarden 07:25 PM 03-26-2016
Sorry you had to deal with that. I know she said twice that she is pulling her child from your program but I would follow up with a letter confirming your acknowledgment of her desire to withdraw and I would tie up any loose end in that letter. Do you really want her to show up on Monday with her child??? Tie those loose ends up now.

Honestly I don't quite understand WHY such small things (like one day with no transportation especially on a day many daycare providers are closed) cause such drama. I did not realize this happened so much until I joined here but I can tell your heart was in the right place with the new van and don't let her steal that shine from you!

Post pictures of the new van for transporting the kids on your FB page, send an e-blast or add it to your red folders and be proud of what you offer and improvements you can make to the program. SO WHAT if you are the most expensive provider in your area?!?! (Not saying you are but who cares if you are....) You work hard and you deserve to be paid what you charge, if they did not like it they were not forced to sign up.

Sorry this happened.
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NightOwl 09:11 PM 03-26-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
Sorry you had to deal with that. I know she said twice that she is pulling her child from your program but I would follow up with a letter confirming your acknowledgment of her desire to withdraw and I would tie up any loose end in that letter. Do you really want her to show up on Monday with her child??? Tie those loose ends up now.

Honestly I don't quite understand WHY such small things (like one day with no transportation especially on a day many daycare providers are closed) cause such drama. I did not realize this happened so much until I joined here but I can tell your heart was in the right place with the new van and don't let her steal that shine from you!

Post pictures of the new van for transporting the kids on your FB page, send an e-blast or add it to your red folders and be proud of what you offer and improvements you can make to the program. SO WHAT if you are the most expensive provider in your area?!?! (Not saying you are but who cares if you are....) You work hard and you deserve to be paid what you charge, if they did not like it they were not forced to sign up.

Sorry this happened.
Couldn't agree more
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Josiegirl 02:41 AM 03-27-2016
Wow. All I can think is, is that dcm ON something?? Is she always like that??? PLEASE try not to let her take you down when you've done something so wonderful for your dc.
People who rage and cause problems like that have definite issues!! They're not rational. They're all self-important and feel entitled.

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Thriftylady 05:42 AM 03-27-2016
I am so sorry you are dealing with this mom! To even offer transportation is unheard of in this area!

I would be sending a return receipt letter to DCM ASAP terming her immediately, and put in it that she needs to cease all untrue communication about you or you will take legal action. I would print ALL communication you find that she puts out there for proof. As far as her not having money to sue her, the way I see it, IF you sue her it would be more about getting her to knock it off than the money. She needs to know you WILL do it!

Good luck with this one, and congrats with the new daycare van.
Reply
Blackcat31 06:06 AM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I know this probably sounds like a whiny post, and perhaps it is... that's why I'm going Unreg on this one, but I have to vent to people who may understand. It's a long one. I apologize in advance.

After over a year of saving up we finally invested in a new daycare van. It's a 12 passenger Nissan NV that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It's admittedly a pricier vehicle, but being a slightly used vehicle that was customized we got it at an excellent price. Add that to the fact that our insurance premium actually went down and we will no longer have the maintenance costs that seemed to attack us monthly, I think we came out ahead. Gas mileage is better, too. I digress, but I've felt the need to rationalize my purchase all day because of a DCM, and how horrible she's made me feel.

We advised parents that there would be no transportation yesterday (Good Friday) but that we would still be open. Only one parent asked why we cancelled transportation and my assistant told him something along the lines of, "we're retiring the old van." He seemed OK with that answer, from what I was told. I posted a reminder on the website and on our group FB on Monday. We left it up all week. We sent home a print reminder in the Monday folders (our weekly communication folder where we send all pertinent information, field trip slips/reminders, etc. Parents know that the RED Monday folder is sent every Monday, and should be returned Tuesday empty, with the initial slip on the front filled out that the folder had been received and the materials inside reviewed/acknowledged/signed as appropriate). All the Monday folders came back by Wednesday *insert eye roll* initialed. Thursday at drop-off our driver reminded the caregivers that there would be no transportation Friday, but we were open for those who could find their own transportation to bring the children and pick up themselves. We also offered up to $4 for bus fare to the parents, specifically because of one parent who lives on the other side of town, whom we believed transportation would be a real issue. That parent opted to keep child home, however.

Yesterday morning around 10 AM I received a call from a DCG grandmother concerned that her granddaughter wasn't picked up at 8:15 per usual. I told her that there was no transportation that day ONLY and all the parents were made aware, and in fact, her daughter had signed off that she received the reminder on Monday. Grandma said no one had told her there was no transportation and she had a hair appointment. I advised her that although we weren't transporting we were still open and she was welcome to bring DCG as long as she came within the hour (so DCG could be put down with the other kids at quiet time). Grandma and DCG walk into the daycare within 15 minutes of us hanging up.

DH took delivery of the new van early yesterday afternoon, so when parents started arriving around 4, the van was already in the driveway. Granted, it did not have the DC signage on it yet, but it did have the dealership stickers still on so a couple of parents noticed and mentioned it, in a congratulatory fashion. Then DCM arrives, girlfriend of the DCD that questioned why we weren't transporting Friday. She remarks, "Oh, so that's why you didn't pick up. You didn't want our kids in your fancy new van, huh?" Kind of snottily, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or being funny. Two other parents were picking up, one was on her way out but she stopped, I'm sure just to listen. The other was talking to my assistant about her potty training. DCM goes on to say, loudly, to get everyone's attention: "I had to take the bus here to get [DCG] and you have a [expletive] new van in your [expletive] yard! This is some [bullcrap] and I'm not bringing [DCG] back!" Meanwhile, grandma of the other DCG walks in and is standing in the doorway, unable to get by because of the spectator mom. I'm mortified and trying to diffuse the situation as this mom is YELLING and there are DCKs all around, one of the last 2 y.o. awaiting pickup was crying. My assistant threatens to call the police if DCM doesn't calm down and remove herself, so she grabs her daughter by the arm and starts pulling her out the door. She almost bumps into the grandmother, who is asking what's going on, to no one in particular. DCM proceeds to tell her that I used all their hard earned money that I was "overcharging" them to go buy a "fancy new van (didn't you see it when you came in?!)" and now I thought I was "too good" to pick up their kids. Like, what the heck am I going to do with a 12 passenger van if it's not for the DC?? Seriously, what are people thinking?! So anyway...

It's complete chaos and Grandma asks ME directly what's going on... I am trying to explain over the yelling mom, the crying kid, the other mom STILL in the doorway with her phone out, probably recording, and my assistant who is kind of comforting the other kids, but still engaging the DCM telling her she's misinformed and the van is FOR the kids! All the while the other DCM who was talking to the assistant has gone upstairs into my HOUSE to get my DH...!! DCM keeps cutting me off when I'm trying to talk to Grandma, contradicting everything I'm saying, calling me a liar, a cheat, a thief. Saying I'm misappropriating the funds from the daycare to offer fewer services to the parents than I originally advertised. The whole nine yards! She's saying I falsely advertised because I failed to transport ONE DAY out of the 1.5 years we've been transporting full time! One day!

Grandma seems confused by the whole scene, which is admittedly out of control, and I know she's still miffed about the pickup confusion from earlier, so I'm really trying to ignore DCM and clarify things with Grandma, hoping DCM will just move a couple more feet across the threshold and go! I'm really trying to diffuse the situation and reassure Grandma specifically because I know she pays for a large part of DCG tuition and if she decides to stop paying me DCG's mom will move her to wherever Grandma is willing to pay. DCG's mom doesn't make enough to pay the tuition herself and she lives with her mom so she doesn't qualify for subsidy so Grandma is really the consumer.

Finally my husband comes down to the daycare with the DCM (who REALLY walked into my house!! LOL!) and asks everyone to leave, stating he WILL call the police and those who are still there when they arrive will no longer have child care. The caregivers disperse rather quickly. I tell Grandma I will call her in the evening once all the kids were gone to explain everything and apologize.

When I do finally call her, she's more understanding than I thought she would be and we have a pretty good dialogue. But then she tells me that DCM continued to fuss in MY driveway and was telling Grandma and the other DCMs some really rude things about me and my program. She said she was withdrawing her daughter (again) and she advised the other caregivers to do so as well because when she was "done with" me there would be no more daycare. I was so disheartened last night that I just prayed and went to bed early.

I log on to the FB page to update it this morning and DCM had posted a really nasty post about me overcharging and being "way more than other providers in the area." She accused me of using CACFP reimbursement to purchase the van and other "personal items unrelated to the daycare" and then serving the kids canned ravioli and raw broccoli for lunch instead of what I have posted on the menus. [Where did she even come up with that one?]
She said I was "illegally charging a transportation fee" when I don't offer transportation on a regular basis and I'm "always" cancelling the van service with no notice. I don't even know her point in posting such malicious lies when the only people on the secret FB page are DC families who know better. And, yes, there was some element of truth to what she was saying about charging a transportation fee, but it's hardly substantial and it's absolutely not illegal. We charge a small transportation fee upon enrollment and annually, but it's not just to those we transport, it's for everyone. It's negligible and goes towards the insurance premiums that we pay every six months. It also goes towards upgrading/replacing car seats and "gas" for field trips, although, truth be told, the $50 per family is NOT putting ANY gas in the van, AT ALL after the insurance, registration, snow tires, winter wipers etc we purchase to keep the van safe.

I printed her rant, I screenshot it and erased it from the FB page before deleting her. DH says I should sue her for libel, but DCM doesn't have any money to make it worth it, and I'm not out to hurt her just because she hurt me. I just wish... I don't know. I guess I wish it didn't happen at all. Jealousy rears its ugly head.

My feelings are so hurt.
I had a hard time reading all that. Too many other details about stuff that has nothing to do with the situation and not enough details about the actual issue.

What caused DCM to be so angry? I think there is more going on here and that there may have been some details about your (the daycare in general) relationship with this DCM that were left out.

Im not really buying that the mere sight of the new van caused her to be so instantaneously that angry and behave that badly. I feel like there's more to this and DCM is upset about alot more than just a new van.
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Rockgirl 06:28 AM 03-27-2016
We are suddenly seeing lots of angry parent confrontation posts.
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kidsandchicks 06:53 AM 03-27-2016
Wow! Why on earth did that dcm react that way? Is she always that unstable and angry? Sounds like she did you a favor by revealing her true crazy and terming herself right then and there. I would definitely follow up with a letter, like others have suggested.

Don't let her steal your joy, though. I like citygarden's suggestion of posting info and pictures about the new van on FB and in emails or other forms of communication to parents. Definitely focus on the positive.
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Unregistered 09:36 AM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
We are suddenly seeing lots of angry parent confrontation posts.
It's just that time of the year. When I worked in the public school system, it was like this too around this time of the year and later. Parents, especially of children aging out, feel the academic year is ending and they have other options. Since Feb, I've had parents telling me left and right their kids now qualify age wise for the free programs. They tell me with this attitude like I'm just charging them and "making it rain" as this generation likes to say. Um, no. Good luck when your child is one of 20 (or more depending on the location).
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Alisyn 10:36 AM 03-27-2016
Wow! Sending you a great big
So sorry you had such an explosion to happen
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Unregistered 12:05 PM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I had a hard time reading all that. Too many other details about stuff that has nothing to do with the situation and not enough details about the actual issue.

What caused DCM to be so angry? I think there is more going on here and that there may have been some details about your (the daycare in general) relationship with this DCM that were left out.

Im not really buying that the mere sight of the new van caused her to be so instantaneously that angry and behave that badly. I feel like there's more to this and DCM is upset about alot more than just a new van.
I apologize for being so verbose. I tend to ramble when emotional.

Yes, there is background. She and I haven't had the best working relationship in the time her daughter has been enrolled in the program, so I normally deal with DCG's father. DCM is extremely confrontational, I'm very reserved. Upon enrollment she took issue with my enrollment fee and transportation fee because she had to pay OOP. Subsidy does not pay those fees but they're required. DCM kept saying her caseworker would take care of it, and we kept telling her those fees weren't covered and were on OOP expense for all of our subsidy families.
DGC was supposed to start on a certain day and the fees weren't paid in time so my old assistant at the time advised DCM that she couldn't start on that date and her slot would be given to someone else if she didn't pay by the following Friday. DCD paid and DCG started a couple of days later. DCM carried that for a while and made passive-aggressive comments about it a couple times in the beginning.

DCG was behind on her immunizations when she started but was on a modified schedule to catch up. DCM missed a couple of pedi appts. and DCG fell behind again. I told DCM we needed to get her caught up ASAP or she'd have to be excluded until she was back on schedule. That conversation was not received well even though it was delivered in a very professional way.

Once, DCG wasn't ready for pickup in time and the van had to proceed without her after waiting the 5ish minutes we allow. A family member dropped off that day but it was after breakfast. DCG had to wait until snack (about an hour or so) to eat with the group. DCM was upset about that and was asking for details about the reimbursement program because she believed it was illegal for me to not feed her daughter breakfast upon arrival.

So in truthfulness, no, this is not the first time DCM has had an issue with me or my program. I'm also not saying I've handled her or any of her issues the best in the past because she can come off extremely brash and intimidating sometimes. Indeed, DCM has a history of being loud and belligerent but not to this extent and certainly not involving other parents. I was also taken by surprise that she picked up on Friday.

To elevate some of the contentiousness and try to save the working relationship, we had a conference in the late fall when we planned to term the family. It was decided amongst us all of us that DCD would be handling everything DC-related because we all believe it's the best place for DCG and she genuinely enjoys being here. The van itself doesn't seem to be the issue, the issue was likely the transportation but it was presented as the van and it spilled over into a messy situation that ruined my happiness about the van and tainted the reputation of my program, even if only a little.
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Snowmom 12:13 PM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I apologize for being so verbose. I tend to ramble when emotional.

Yes, there is background. She and I haven't had the best working relationship in the time her daughter has been enrolled in the program, so I normally deal with DCG's father. DCM is extremely confrontational, I'm very reserved. Upon enrollment she took issue with my enrollment fee and transportation fee because she had to pay OOP. Subsidy does not pay those fees but they're required. DCM kept saying her caseworker would take care of it, and we kept telling her those fees weren't covered and were on OOP expense for all of our subsidy families.
DGC was supposed to start on a certain day and the fees weren't paid in time so my old assistant at the time advised DCM that she couldn't start on that date and her slot would be given to someone else if she didn't pay by the following Friday. DCD paid and DCG started a couple of days later. DCM carried that for a while and made passive-aggressive comments about it a couple times in the beginning.

DCG was behind on her immunizations when she started but was on a modified schedule to catch up. DCM missed a couple of pedi appts. and DCG fell behind again. I told DCM we needed to get her caught up ASAP or she'd have to be excluded until she was back on schedule. That conversation was not received well even though it was delivered in a very professional way.

Once, DCG wasn't ready for pickup in time and the van had to proceed without her after waiting the 5ish minutes we allow. A family member dropped off that day but it was after breakfast. DCG had to wait until snack (about an hour or so) to eat with the group. DCM was upset about that and was asking for details about the reimbursement program because she believed it was illegal for me to not feed her daughter breakfast upon arrival.

So in truthfulness, no, this is not the first time DCM has had an issue with me or my program. I'm also not saying I've handled her or any of her issues the best in the past because she can come off extremely brash and intimidating sometimes. Indeed, DCM has a history of being loud and belligerent but not to this extent and certainly not involving other parents. I was also taken by surprise that she picked up on Friday.

To elevate some of the contentiousness and try to save the working relationship, we had a conference in the late fall when we planned to term the family. It was decided amongst us all of us that DCD would be handling everything DC-related because we all believe it's the best place for DCG and she genuinely enjoys being here. The van itself doesn't seem to be the issue, the issue was likely the transportation but it was presented as the van and it spilled over into a messy situation that ruined my happiness about the van and tainted the reputation of my program, even if only a little.
I'm sorry your feelings are hurt and I don't blame you for feeling that way.
However, with everything you just mentioned above, I'm surprised you let this parent stay beyond the very first day with those problems.
She's a liability and potentially damaging to your business.
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NightOwl 12:47 PM 03-27-2016
She's definitely a liability. I know the type. She acts like the world owes her something, she's entitled to every whim she can think up, she has a problem with every detail that doesn't directly benefit her, and cannot fathom a world in which she doesn't get what she wants. In other words, spoiled brat.

Sent her that cease and desist and make sure it includes a clause that says she will be charged with trespassing and disturbing the peace if she returns to your center.
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Unregistered 05:06 PM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
I'm sorry your feelings are hurt and I don't blame you for feeling that way.
However, with everything you just mentioned above, I'm surprised you let this parent stay beyond the very first day with those problems.
She's a liability and potentially damaging to your business.
Thank you all for allowing me to vent and offering your support. I appreciate it greatly.


In response to the above, I know I let the situation continue far too long when warning signs that we weren't a good match were evident from the start.
I kept her in the beginning because of finances. I needed that slot filled with a full time child. Beyond that, I kept DCG because I like her a lot and she's doing very well in the program. After meeting with the family I hoped things would get better, and they were much improved with us dealing solely with DCD. I sent a termination email yesterday with two-weeks notice and I'm calling my licensor and food rep tomorrow. I have a hard time terming. I have a hard time saying 'goodbye' to the kids whom I've grown attached to. Unfortunately, I simply can not deal with mom anymore. Plus, DH gave me an ultimatum to either term her or he would. LOL!
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Thriftylady 06:19 PM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you all for allowing me to vent and offering your support. I appreciate it greatly.


In response to the above, I know I let the situation continue far too long when warning signs that we weren't a good match were evident from the start.
I kept her in the beginning because of finances. I needed that slot filled with a full time child. Beyond that, I kept DCG because I like her a lot and she's doing very well in the program. After meeting with the family I hoped things would get better, and they were much improved with us dealing solely with DCD. I sent a termination email yesterday with two-weeks notice and I'm calling my licensor and food rep tomorrow. I have a hard time terming. I have a hard time saying 'goodbye' to the kids whom I've grown attached to. Unfortunately, I simply can not deal with mom anymore. Plus, DH gave me an ultimatum to either term her or he would. LOL!
One thing we have to remember is that although terming can hurt financially, keeping a liability around can cost us much more. It can be hard to see that balance, but we have to always look at the whole business.
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CityGarden 07:11 PM 03-27-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
We are suddenly seeing lots of angry parent confrontation posts.
I agree!!!!!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:48 AM 03-28-2016
I've had parents like this and I am so sorry for the stress this has caused you. I remember how I felt and wish I could give you a hug.

Hopefully, this Mom will cease all of the drama but due to you issuing an actual termination letter I don't think this is the end of it. I've noticed those parents always have to get in the last word.
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LindseyA 07:18 AM 03-28-2016
So sorry this happened! Congratulations on the new van! I disagree politely with BC a little. Your post was very easy to follow. I like more emotional posts, and feel like they are more relatable. Let's face it, we all go through very similar emotions and have the same stressors for the most part. Now I would never expect one to be that emotional with communicating to a client, but on a forum made for us to vent, heck yeah! Let it out sister!
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Alisyn 07:36 AM 03-28-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
One thing we have to remember is that although terming can hurt financially, keeping a liability around can cost us much more. It can be hard to see that balance, but we have to always look at the whole business.
Yes, most definitely.
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Ariana 07:45 AM 03-28-2016
Bottom line from your post, mom is acting irrational and not in a professional manner. You know you should have termed her long ago but we all make sacrifices sometimes for finances.

You did nothing wrong except provide superior transportation for your DCK and enforce rules. Some people are just plain psycho
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e.j. 11:06 AM 03-28-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
... it spilled over into a messy situation that ruined my happiness about the van and tainted the reputation of my program, even if only a little.
Don't give this woman the power to ruin your happiness. Enjoy that van! I'll bet the kids who rode it in it today were all smiles.

My guess is, she hasn't tainted your reputation at all. Anyone who read what she wrote on your FB page will probably "consider the source" and understand that her behavior has nothing at all to do with you and your day care.
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midaycare 11:16 AM 03-28-2016
I hope things are better today.
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laundrymom 11:30 AM 03-28-2016
I think you'll be fine. Maybe post a pic of the new van on the FB page and say, in all the confusion last week I forgot to show off the new van! I'm so excited to have a more reliable vehicle and know it will be a great asset to us.
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Unregistered 06:04 PM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I had a hard time reading all that. Too many other details about stuff that has nothing to do with the situation and not enough details about the actual issue.

What caused DCM to be so angry? I think there is more going on here and that there may have been some details about your (the daycare in general) relationship with this DCM that were left out.

Im not really buying that the mere sight of the new van caused her to be so instantaneously that angry and behave that badly. I feel like there's more to this and DCM is upset about alot more than just a new van.
You would be surprised what people will get upset over.
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Tags:facebook, parent - complains, subsidy, transportation - fee
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